Until I Met You

By Cataluna

It wasn't until I met her that I decided.

I wanted to live. 

I knew it was an odd thing to say, and a tiny part of me still refused to believe it.  I guessed you could say I was borderline on suicidal before I met her.  Even after I'd learned of the Shikon no Tama, I'd continued going through each battle secretly hoping it would be my last, wondering what would happen if I dodge just a little slower or hit them with a little power.  Or if I just gave up and stopped fighting.  Pride, the need to prove to the other youkai that my human blood did not make me weak, kept me alive. 

Then it was her.

I flexed my claws, staring at each razor-sharp tip.  I had wanted so badly to hate her, kill her even, but I didn't…couldn't.  It would have been easy with the fragility of her human flesh and her lack of combating skills.  Luck, her power had kept her safe from me, and perhaps the compassion I had refused to acknowledge.  She grew on me -- made me want to protect her, be by her side -- until I couldn't stand to be without her.

Emotions were supposed to make you weak.  I was taught that from the start.  But with her, it was different.  She was different.  My lips lifted into a smile just as the sound of a soft groan reached my ears.  I turned away from the window and looked at the rumpled sheets that barely covered her, her dark, raven hair draping across her back like silk.  She changed all that, gave me something to look forward to, gave me a reason to live.  She stirred as though she could hear my thoughts, burying herself deeper to my side of the futon, her small hand twisting at the pillow that had ended up underneath her.  A frown settled on her face when she realized that was all it was.

I couldn't help but smile, a smirk if you would call it.  Miss me already?  My footsteps were soundless as I approached her, taking in the way the moonlight played over her ivory skin.  I carefully sat beside her, not wanting to accidentally wake her up until I was ready.  She shifted immediately, drawn by the warmth from my skin and maybe even my scent, and laid her head on my lap.  My fingers combed through her hair and her eyes fluttered open.  I bit back a laugh when she jerked back with a squeal, scrambling to a seated position while tugging at the cover. 

Her face was bright red as her eyes blinked rapidly into focus, obviously not used to waking up naked and on a man's thigh.  The sheets were drawn under her chin, shielding my view of her beautiful body.  "Inu-Inuyasha…" she said my name slowly before her widening eyes trailed downward, "Y-you still naked."

I grinned and deliberately lowered my gaze.  "I can say the same for you."  I twisted to crawl toward her.  My grin widened when she backed away like a shy, little lamb.  I leaned down as if to kiss her, her mouth fell open and her breath quickened.  I caught the edge of her cover instead, tugging it away from her.  Her arms modestly crossed over her chest and I had to gently pry them away.

"Again?" she asked in a breathless whisper as though she was surprised I still wanted her. 

I kissed her deep and long, letting my body press against her.  Her shyness was forgotten when she wrapped her legs behind my back, her heel running up and down the hollow of my spine.  Drawing back to let us both catch our breaths, I brushed her bangs back from her face, "I'll never get my fill of you."

Her lips curled into that beautiful smile of hers.  "Me neither," she whispered back to me softly before gently tugging at the beads around my neck to pull me down for another kiss. 

I wondered if she knew how she'd changed my life and how precious she was to me.  I didn't even want to think of what would happen if she was no longer with me.

Until then, I would live each day for her smile.

Until then, I would live.