I Forgot To Tell You

By trory-goddess

RATING: PG at most (pretty weird for me………heh)

PAIRING: L/H

SUMMARY: Haley and Lucas finally are forced to realize what they mean to each other. No one ever said love was simple…(Set after "Crash Into You"; title inspired by lyrics in Sarah McLachlan's song "I Love You")

DISCLAIMER: No. Let's not even make that trip today -- or ever. They're not mine…okay, scratch that, in my world, Chad Michael Murray is mine. My mistake.

A/N: Hey guys. This isn't my first L/H fic, but it's my first published one, so I hope you guys enjoy. We live in a Nathan/Haley-centric world it seems (I AM IN NO WAY SLAMMING THE N/H SHIP, I AM MERELY MAKING A POINT), and there are too few L/H fics out there; I figured I'd take a stab at it.

Some quick technicalities: all events before "Crash Into You" remain the same, the only variations lie in how everything come into play afterward; the core events of "Every Night Is Another Story" and "Life In A Glass House" have already happened EXCLUDING any interactions between Lucas and Haley and any hook-ups or romantic happenings between Haley and Nathan. If things are still ambiguous, leave me a review and let me know!

Otherwise, read on and tell me what you all think; feedback is a vital part of my daily diet.

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CHAPTER I: Island of Hope

Every time I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away

And I forgot

To tell you I love you

And the night's too long

and cold here without you

I grieve in my condition

For I cannot find the words to say I need you so

Haley James stood outside her best friend Lucas Scott's house, wondering whether or not she should take the leap and knock or just wuss out and go home like she always did lately.

The skirmish had to end; it had run its course. In all honesty, how bad could it be that she was tutoring his arch-nemesis? I mean, he should just get over it and move on; nothing was worth the energy and deliberation he was putting into, right?

Sadly, upon re-evaluation, Haley knew that it wasn't so much the fact that she was tutoring Nathan, that bothered Lucas -- it was that, right to his handsome face, she'd lied about it; she'd hidden it from him. Yes, true, she had embarked on the whole philanthropic journey thing in the first place to keep Nathan and his band of imbecilic jockstraps off of Lucas' back, but now things were different.

Nathan, it seemed, was losing interest in tormenting her best friend and was gaining interest in attaining her affections. All things considered, he was a nice guy when you almost physically beat it out of him; but she saw how he had treated Lucas, and she had observed the numerous problems that festered in his relationship with Peyton, and even though that was another can of worms all together, she was not willing to put herself at the mercy of his fickle and often erratic behavior. Perhaps he really did like her and she was just being paranoid. Really though, all she saw was that, potentially, she was a bad succession of meaningless hook-ups to him, nothing more than a momentary fling, and that was on the verge of less-than-kosher in her book.

Why was she even standing here, procrastinating? She knew Lucas was probably playing basketball somewhere, she should just go home and sulk; that seemed like a better use of her time. It also seemed better than having to view his heart-breaking injured face again that he did so well.

As she turned on her heel to leave, she came face to face with the aforementioned "Lucas", dribbling his ball up the walkway in his gray T-shirt and black sweats and wearing an expression that was a combination of curious and perturbed.

Of course she had to be wearing her hair in those low pig tails that he loved so much because they made her positively adorable; and of course she had to be wearing his favorite shirt on her that went so well with the brown suede jacket that went so well with her gorgeous doe-eyed complexion. This wouldn't be a struggle if she wasn't.

He brushed past her, fully prepared to be stolid and keep up the ignoring marathon they had going on, but she wouldn't let him.

"Hey," she called when he was almost to the door, and he faced her defiantly.

They shared a staring moment; Haley, of course, was looking more intently and he was feigning disinterest. Eventually he got fed up with the silence.

"What do you want Haley?"

At least she was being called by her name now. His question was lacking in the characteristic venom she was used to, but was nonetheless terse.

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Lucas…"

"No really, I'm curious -- as to what we could still have to say to each other."

"You know what we need to talk about, Lucas, don't be stupid."

"I'm sorry -- since when do you get to call me stupid? Last time I checked, you were the one who lied," he recalled coldly, tossing his basketball somewhere in the yard.

"Look, can we not do this?"

"Do what? Oh right -- getting to the bottom of all this is pointless…I forgot."

"I am so sick of fighting with you."

"No Haley, you wanted to talk, let's talk -- why don't we talk about how you didn't tell me the truth, there's a good place to start."

"I knew you wouldn't understand, Lucas; I knew you'd over-react and I didn't want to make such a big deal out of it, that's all."

"You didn't give me the chance to understand…you were my best friend Haley; do you even know what that feels like to be lied to for no reason?"

"Luke, you're still my best friend -- and there was a reason…"

"No good reason, alright -- and friends don't lie to each other."

"I know that --"

"Really?"

"Yes -- I never meant to…this all just got out of control."

"Tell me how that makes any sense, please."

"I know it was wrong to lie to you, Lucas, I do…"

"Do you Haley? The minute you decided to keep something like that from me for so long was the same minute you decided what was really important to you -- and it wasn't me."

Oh God…she had hurt him really bad, hadn't she? It didn't seem that serious, but she had never lied to him before-- about anything -- her entire life. That was a pretty hefty record to live up to.

"In what world would you ever think you weren't important to me, Lucas," she said, barely above a whisper in the presence of on-coming tears.

Great -- he saw the floodgates were about to rush open, and he looked away; he hated it when this happened. He had no resolve when it came to this girl, especially when she was crying. Haley James didn't cry; if anything, she was the strongest person he knew, next to his mother, and neither of them shed tears needlessly. The angry wounded act wasn't going to last very long, he could tell.

"How 'bout in the world where everyone deceives the people they're supposed to care about," he choked to keep up his façade.

In actuality, the sight of the tip of her nose reddening and her big brown eyes welling up with sadness and remorse was enough to make him want to shoot himself in the head for being so insensitive.

"I'm an idiot okay? I admit it; I screwed up…I made a mistake, this is all my fault, and I accept that, but please…"

She trailed off when her voice hitched from repressing a sob.

"…please don't avoid me anymore, Lucas…I can't handle knowing you're so mad at me and I can't do anything about it; I've apologized more times than I can count and I don't know what else to do -- tell me what to do…"

It took all the strength he could muster not to reach out and catch the various solitary teardrops traveling down her beautiful face with his hand, and he therefore balled that hand up into a fist, determined to get some sort of closure to the seemingly unbearable injustice.

"Tell me why you did it, Haley -- I have to know why you did it," he asserted, his own voice cracking in the process of trying to swallow the solid mass that had gathered in his throat.

Her vision wandered to his feet for a moment -- she had to tell him the truth.

"I did it -- because I was selfish; I didn't want to deal with having to look at your eyes and tell you I was doing something that I knew would hurt you -- not to mention the fact that you were already going through enough -- and I figured the less you knew, the better -- whether or not I was doing it for you -- because I was -- but that doesn't make it okay…"

"No it doesn't."

She hesitated at his harsh response.

"I know that…and I'm so sorry th…"

"Remember when we first talked about this Haley? Do you remember what you told me?"

"Yes," she concurred with a slight nod.

"You said you did it for me -- to protect me."

"I did."

It was his turn to nod, but something about his countenance told her that it wasn't to agree.

"Why would I ever want to be protected by a lie?"

Damn -- she didn't really have an answer to that question. It seemed that, since she didn't, he was fixing to walk away.

"Lucas…" she beckoned, her tone becoming shrill toward the end of her plea from holding back the tears.

He stopped with his back facing her and his shoulders somewhat hunched from the weight of his own guilt -- how long could he keep this up? Let's be real.

Unfortunately, the tasteless need to be stoic inherent to his gender was beginning to win out as he found his feet carrying him closer to his doorstep.

Not able to bear seeing him leave again, Haley covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her sobbing and revolved to face the front gate. The hand wasn't doing any good, and each break down gnawed away at his resolution. He was finally forced by his own weakness to look at her: her frame rose and fell in short spurts; he could tell she was almost choking to stay quiet -- no, no this was it. This couldn't continue, there was no way.

Tenuously, he walked around so that he was in front of her.

Oh there was no way.

He placed his forehead against hers and his hands on either side of her face. Something about that made her sobs get heavier and worse.

"Hey…hey -- I'm sorry -- I'm sorry," Lucas whispered just behind her ear before kissing the spot lightly numerous times on impulse.

This caused her to immediately close the space between them and wind her arms around his neck, burrowing into the nook that their differing heights provided. He, in turn, enveloped her petite body in a secure embrace, one arm around her waist and the other between her shoulder blades with his fingertips drawing lazy and comforting circles at the base of her neck.

And they stood like that -- for a while.

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How's that for a start? Sucky? Sappy? Let me know; I'm open to constructive criticism of all shapes, sizes, and colors (except orange and red, 'cause those are the colors of flames -- like as in a fire -- and I don't like to be flamed J ).

QUICK DEDICATIONS:

To my support group and chat buddies -- Llama-Llam, Nater-gater-tater-tot (*wink*), Bumblebee, Mel-Mel, Pri (a.k.a. PP), Less, Precious (Helle) and any others -- you know who you are, you know you get kisses and hugs and all the mushies, and I love you so much!!!

And to my beta -- the great and powerful Marsh -- Surya: don't know what I'd do if you'd never Instant Messaged me; my life would be so much more boring…seriously. I love you babe, and just…thank you.

Alright audience, you know what to do. Press the button, brighten my day ;) R&R!