Chapter 12: Portcullis
Draco hurried home, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He glanced back hastily, to see if Alexis was following him. There was no one in sight. Shuddering, he quickened his pace.
He unlocked the door of the mansion and slipped inside quickly, slamming the door closed behind him. His normally soft mass of hair was dampened with sweat. He immediately headed into the bathroom, where he took a long, freezing shower. When he came out, shivering, he faintly heard the sound of the boom box Hermione had discovered in her room. He instantly drew back the foot he had had on the first stair of the living room, whirled around and collapsed on the couch, falling into an uneasy, troubled sleep.
Hermione came down half an hour later to find him in that same position. His lips were tinged blue with cold and goosebumps had appeared on his skin. Anxiously, she shook him until he awoke. His eyes flew open when he was awake enough to register what was happening.
"Draco, what happened to you?" Hermione asked worriedly.
Draco's expression hardened and he said in an abrupt steely voice, "Nothing. I don't need your concern." With that, he tried to stand up, but his knees buckled suddenly under his weight and he fell back onto the couch. "But - you can't even stand up," Hermione said hesitantly.
"I told you, I don't need your sympathy!" Draco said, his tone growing louder and more agitated with each syllable. He forced himself to his feet and turned to glare defiantly at her. But the expression on her face caught him off guard. It was one of utmost anxiety, of the kind one would give to someone they actually cared about. He had expected the false facade he had become so accustomed to; the pretense love his parents often showered him with.
This real emotion, because of him, given to him...It was utterly foreign to Draco. Instead of the furious, withering look he had intended, he found himself bearing a deep, uncomfortable, unsure visage. Could she...really care about me...? he wondered hesitantly. But the slight hope morphed into bitterness. Of course not, she's all lies and deceit...just like all the others.
He tried to brush the scene aside, but yet the sincerity in her eyes was unmistakable. Trapped in an episode he did not know how to ease out of, Draco did the only sensible thing he could. He turned and ran.
Later, in the evening, Hermione tentatively knocked on the door to Draco's room. He had locked himself in and refused to come out.
"Dinner," she said in a small voice. There was no answer.
"You have to eat something," she said a little louder. Silence. Hermione paused and thought for awhile.
"If you don't, you'll become all bony and thin and no reasonable girl would willinglygo out with you," she said desperately as a last resort.
After a few moments, Draco came and opened the door. Without sparing a glance at her, he immediately headed downstairs into the dining room.
Note: Appeal to his vanity, Hermione said mentally, suppressing a snicker.
They ate in silence, as usual. Hermione's thoughts drifted from Draco's unusual fluctuating moods to when he had told her that his father had beaten him because he had refused to torture Muggles. But I wouldn't put torturing them beneath him...unless...is he really as evil as I make him out to be?
Just then, Draco glanced up and caught her staring. He looked back at his plate of lasagna and poked at it.
"Draco," Hermione began unsurely.
"What?" he said, without meeting her gaze.
"I've been wondering...What - what happened to you during summer?" Hermione asked nervously.
Draco stiffened, as he had done the last time she had inquired about his private life. Seconds ticked by, and Hermione sighed, figuring he wasn't going to answer.
"It was Lucius," Draco said suddenly. He finally looked up, and Hermione saw the pain in his stormy, troubled eyes. It made her heart ache just to look at him. "Lucius...and Narcissa...have never exactly been good parents."
Draco's eyes flashed in resentment as he recounted the incident.
"Lucius decided that it was time for me to do my own Muggle-hunting, and he brought in some with the Imperius curse. Then...he brought me a whip." Draco stopped at this point and breathed in slow, deep breaths. "Since I couldn't use magic," he continued, and Hermione could hear the lump in his throat.
"He told me to use it. Before I'd always been so cocky, following in my parents' footsteps - in Salazar Slytherin's footsteps," Draco added hoarsely. "But then something changed. I saw a look in Lucius's eyes - a look I'd never seen before - one of pure hatred and disgust. It was intended for the Muggles - but when he looked at me, I - I don't know...I just, for one moment, felt that hate being turned onto me." Draco swallowed and looked away. "I've never been their perfect child, though everyone else thinks I am. Sometimes, when I mess up or don't do something good enough, Lucius...punishes me. It's the Imperius if I'm lucky...and if I'm not...it's the Cruciatus." There were definitely tears in his voice now. "I...realised what an incredible jackass I had been for my entire life. I realised I hated everything I had been brought up by - so I just stood there." Draco stood up and turned his back to her. "I reckon you can guess what happened next," he said in a quiet voice. "And Narcissa...just looked upon it the whole time - and when I pleaded for her help...she just shook her head and said I deserved it."
Hermione felt tears leaking down her cheeks. "Draco..." she said hoarsely, trying to reach out to him. But he had already walked away.
Hermione wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. She felt Draco's pain as if it were her own. Her heart ached in misery, for when she had looked into those clouded grey eyes - she had seen nothing but a suffering, anguished child.
Whoa, it's like a miracle. I actually updated. I wrote this in a day...I dunno if I can keep this up. Read my profile if you want an 'explanation'. Sigh. I'm sooooooooooo sorry everyone. You can yell and scream and bi about the wait all you want. I deserve it. ( Or if you think I do.) Bleh. I'm such an asshole. I'd prefer you not to though...it disheartens me. :( I understand if you no longer feel like reading this. Though if you reviewed it would make me really really REALLY happy.