Family Shame:
She Hates MeBy Princess Alexandria
1984
The wrapping paper had taken her a long time to pick out. Valentine's paper tended to be far too cutesy and that wouldn't work for this gift.
Corrine double checked to make sure her bedroom door was locked. Her brothers had gone to the movies and her sister was out on a date. They shouldn't be home for hours, but it paid to be paranoid in this house.
She had only lived with them a year. Her mother was different from theirs. Their father really believed in spreading his seed, as if it were anything special. He was determined to keep his family line going and didn't really care about things like marriage vows when he worked towards that goal. Corrine's mother had actually taken Corrine and ran years ago, because she didn't want her daughter being raised like the other kids. Corrine's father, nice guy that he was, hunted them down and dragged them back. That was a dark time in Corrine's history. When he died Corrine's mother wasted no time in running again. They both moved into Paris and away from Corrine's half-brothers and half-sister, leaving their mother to continue raising them in the traditional ways. Corrine was supposed to be free then, but her mother died before she was eighteen. The courts were impressed with the fact that Corrine's father's real wife would take in his bastard child, and eagerly gave her custody. Corrine knew that she was being pulled back into exactly what her mother worked so hard to keep her out of, but there was nothing she could do.
The present wasn't too large. Corrine wrapped it carefully in the shiny black paper and thought the red ribbon and bow looked good on it. Hopefully she would think so too.
She packed the present in the bottom of her suitcase as she heard her ride to the city pull up. At least she had friends around here, otherwise living with this family would have driven her insane a long time ago. She didn't agree with so many of the stupid things they believed, but since they owned the house and she was just a guest she couldn't say anything. She didn't want to go into foster care at almost 18 years old. In just a few more months she'd inherit her share of her father's money. She felt sick taking his money, but it would buy her freedom. It would make it so she could go to America and leave her heritage.
She gave Thomas a small smile as he got out of the car to help her load her bags of luggage. He was her best friend, and leaving him behind was going to hurt. He had no intention of leaving the country to go to school.
"So Corey," Thomas gave her his playful smile. "You actually think you have the grades to get into Sorbonne?"
"No, but maybe they'll let me wash dishes to make up for my lower test scores?" Corrine smirked at his twinkling eyes and then got in the car.
He was a little more serious looking when he started to drive her to the airport. "What's in Paris that you need to spend so much of your money to stay for days? You know you didn't apply there and so do I."
She'd tried to work on college plans last year, when it should have been done, but her father's family didn't believe in such things and had made it impossible for her to do. She wasn't able to get an advance on her inheritance, even though she knew they had it. Her mail had gone missing too. College wasn't supposed to be for their family, they had a nobler purpose, one that they were all trying very hard to get Corrine to accept. She never would.
This year she worked after school to save up for college expenses until her inheritance kicked in, and this last visit to Paris. She'd used Thomas' address for all her college applications. Her grades were good enough and her test scores weren't bad. One of the dozens of applications should come through for her. She wasn't telling anyone about her college plans until something panned out this time. Thomas thought is was sick that she had to hide wanting college, so he helped her as much as he could, and never said anything at school where it might get back to her family.
"I have an old… friend that I want to say goodbye to." Corrine sighed and stared out the window quietly.
After Corrine unpacked for her stay she changed her clothes and tucked the present into her bag. The mirror in the bathroom got far too much of her attention as she worked to pull her long blonde hair back and applied just a little makeup. Her main flaw was her slightly crooked nose, a painful gift her father had given her. She also didn't like her dishwater blonde hair. Robyn and Jon were blonde, but Corrine could look into a mirror and wonder some days if it was blonde or brown. As soon as she had his money she planned to get the nose fixed and maybe do something with her hair. She stared at the makeup and the effort she'd done with her hair but it just didn't feel like enough at this moment. There was a good chance all of this effort wouldn't be necessary today, because Paris was a big city and she could very well not find her prey right away. Her hand rested over her gift. She'd been in love for years, but now she was finally going to say it. These past two years away would seem like nothing to the Demon, but it had been an eternity for Corrine.
Corrine was able to walk the streets without any fear. She had learned how to defend herself at a very young age and she'd grown up in this city. Her movements held a hunter's grace. She was actually hunting the Demon, just not like her family normally did it. Her eyes surveyed rooftops and darkened corners as she made her way around.
As she searched, her mind wandered to the female that she was looking for. Demona hadn't been at all like her father and uncles had told her. She'd been out learning how to track with her uncle when she'd first met Demona. As a five year old she was poorly equipped to survive after her uncle had died during his unexpected chance to fight the Demon. He'd blindly taken his chance even though he was poorly armed and the sole adult taking care of Corrine at the time. After he died Corrine was scared but she tried to find her way out of the forest. After what felt like forever, the Demon had come out of the sky and picked her up.
"Dammit, I'm going to regret this." Demona had hissed as she glided with Corrine in her arms towards the human houses. Corrine knew now that a five year old would never have been able to walk out of that forest. She could have died lost and alone. At the time she'd known the Demon was saving her, but she was too frightened to speak.
A few years later, shortly after her father had forced Corrine and her mother to come back home, he took Corrine out alone to hunt. It was tradition for a Canmore child to go out on the first hunt when they turned eight. He dragged her out to the woods, and she'd been terrified that they'd actually find a gargoyle. If she'd been older and less horrified by what he forced her to do at the time, she would have noticed it had become night because they were behind schedule and the stone gargoyle didn't change to flesh.
Demona had found her crying in the remains while Corrine's father went to set up camp for the night. He'd been horribly disappointed in her crying rather than being proud of what she'd done and left her with an angry command to stay there until he came back for her. Demona had Corrine trembling in fear. She was sure that the gargoyle would take vengeance on Corrine for killing that gargoyle. Instead the gargoyle had stared at her in silence for a moment and spoke quietly. "It wasn't a real gargoyle. There aren't any others here." Those words had saved Corrine from overwhelming guilt and grief. Demona had just delivered them and glided away.
Her father took her home the next day and dropped her off, practically tossing her overnight bag out of the truck after her and driving away without making sure she went inside. Corrine's mother didn't live in the same area as Corrine's father and his wife. He didn't want all of his offspring in one place because it would be too easy for the Demon to kill them all. After his brothers had died without kids, he was the only one to have children to take over the hunt. They were lucky and he didn't visit too often.
It was after that horrible eighth birthday that the Demon started to visit Corrine regularly. Corrine's mother tended to work at night, so she was left alone at the house a few nights a week. Some of the best memories Corrine had of growing up were of her time talking with the gargoyle, or just feeling the ancient female watching her while she practiced whatever skill she was supposed to be learning. She'd learned to use a few ancient weapons, to fight, to track, to do all sorts of things that were supposed to help her to hunt down the Demon. Once Demona found her studying for a history test and proceeded to tell her what was wrong with the book she was reading. That had really been fun. Demona made history come alive for Corrine. It quickly became one of her favorite subjects. The gargoyle didn't come by that often, perhaps a few times a year, but she'd always ask Corrine about the training that her family put her through, and what young hunters learned and when. It had been nice to have someone to talk to about it, because their training wasn't something they were supposed to tell anyone about. It felt like someone cared about her other than her mother. The other Canmores didn't seem to really see Corrine, just a potential warrior in the battle against gargoyles.
Even though she was deep in thought she easily avoided the other people walking on the sidewalks and continued to look at the rooftops where a gargoyle might actually go. The hunt took her to an old church. Corrine swore it looked like the sort of place that the Demon would haunt. She had to sneak into the church and slip away from the others to find the stairway to the roof. Hopefully this would work, because she hated that she'd broken an entry at a church. She left her note on the rooftop and left to search out other promising looking buildings. The notes were appropriately vague, but Demona would understand them. Corrine was in town. After a night of leaving those laying around all over the city, Corrine went to bed. Tomorrow night she'd wait at the place that Demona had killed her father. Corrine had been in Paris at the time, but… Her face darkened at the memory… she wasn't able to go out with the family that night. That bastard would never have been able to find the Demon that night if the Demon hadn't been hunting him. She'd found Corrine after her father had left to show the other kids the wonders of Paris at night.
Corrine still remembered how her entire body ached as she laid on the bed, her underwear ripped and her body bleeding. He'd raped her after he sent his other children out to have dinner. He'd raped her and then threatened to kill her and her mother if she ever told. He'd angrily hissed in her ear as he thrust into her that she'd never be much of a hunter, but she'd be good breeding stock and that had terrified her even more when she realized that he wasn't using protection and he might actually get her pregnant. She'd tried to struggle harder, and he broke her nose as he slammed his fist into her face. It was the Demon that came in the window with angry glowing eyes to find her after he'd left. It was the Demon that her family told her was a monster that held her as she cried and helped to clean her up.
She did get pregnant from that night. Demona helped her arrange for the doctor that took care of it. Corrine had insisted that while he was at it he sterilize her. There would be no hunters coming from her womb. If the gargoyle hadn't shown a little muscle on her behalf, that doctor would never have tied the tubes of a thirteen year old.
Corrine's mother was working so hard and was so stressed and apologetic for the beaten that she knew Corrine had gotten because she wasn't in town when her father came to town. He had been pissed that his whore wasn't around, that's what he'd called Corrine's mother, so he'd used Corrine. The girl never had the heart to tell her mother how truly bad it had been.
After they moved to the city, Demona visited a bit more often. Corrine remembered the way the gargoyle's talons felt combing through her hair so tenderly. It was then that Corrine started to fall for the gargoyle. Demona tried to reassure Corrine that she wasn't damaged, that what her father had done to her didn't make her dirty or sick. She made it clear that Corrine was in no way to blame for that, and she did it so tenderly, so gently. When Corrine stared at her nose, the constantly visible reminder of what he'd done, Demona had told her that she was still beautiful… for a human.
Corrine got to the place shortly after sunset and it didn't take long before she noticed the shadow on the rooftop. She smiled and walked off into a darkened alley to meet her.
"Little hunter." Demona's voice held a note of scorn, but then it always did. Corrine learned to not let that bother her years ago. "You've grown up." Demona stepped out of the shadows and Corrine blushed at the appraising look she was getting. This was the female that she'd been fantasizing about for years. She looked more beautiful than Corrine's memory of her could do justice.
The alley wasn't really private enough for this talk. "Can we go somewhere more private?" Corrine asked while touching her bag to make sure the gift was still there. She didn't notice the suspicious stare Demona gave that hand or the coldness in her expression, because Corrine was trying to calm her own nervousness.
"Fine!" Demona glared at her and Corrine stared back completely confused at the real hostility suddenly very present in the gargoyle.
Gliding through the air in a gargoyle's arms was terrifying. Corrine knew that Demona could carry her easily, but she really preferred to keep her feet on the ground. She could feel the angry tension in Demona's body and didn't know what was going on. The gargoyle landed on a rooftop and set Corrine down roughly, before starting to pace with her eyes blazing. "Little hunter isn't so little anymore." The anger in Demona's voice kept Corrine quiet and staring in awe. Demona spun to glare at her. "I never learn. Saving humans that will end up plaguing me is a curse of it's own."
"What are you talking about?" Corrine hadn't seen Demona in two years, but she was pretty sure that she'd remember if Demona ever looked at her like this. Corrine was actually starting to feel a little scared, and the stories her family told her were suddenly forefront in her mind. Stories about how quickly the Demon could attack and how viciously she could kill.
Demona glared at Corrine and took a few menacing steps closer. Corrine backed up until the wall hit her back. "Little hunter, you planning to try and make a name for yourself now? Plan to do what the rest of your sick twisted family couldn't?" Demona reached out and grabbed Corrine's purse off her shoulder. "You came to try to kill me didn't you?"
"NO!" Corrine's jaw dropped at the accusations. "I wouldn't do that to you." Demona was looking through the purse, which didn't have much but Corrine's wallet and the gift. The gargoyle's hand shook a little as she pulled the black wrapped box out. Her confusion was clear in the quick glance she gave Corrine. Corrine took a deep breath and tried to relax now that it looked like the immediate danger was over. "I'm going to go away to college soon. I just didn't want to leave without seeing you again."
"What is this?" Demona held the box out towards Corrine while she asked about it. Her voice was getting a little louder and she talked a little too quickly. She was obviously not pleased.
"I got you a present." Corrine stood taller, while hating how this was going. She'd known her fantasies about Demona feeling loved when she saw Corrine cared enough to come see her were just that, fantasies, but she'd never thought that she'd anger the female by showing up today. Well, she'd gone this far. She might as well go the whole way. "Open it." Corrine's voice held none of the tenderness she'd envisioned being able to use with Demona. She spoke coldly, while trying to harden her heart. Something about the gargoyle's reactions so far let her know that she wasn't going to come out of this unscathed. She'd chose to bare her heart, and the gargoyle looked appalled as she did start to unwrap the gift. Corrine had saved up for a long time to be able to afford something that she thought would be fitting. The dagger was ornate, but functional. It was a gift for a warrior, but held the beauty of art, and it cost several hundred dollars. That was a lot of money for a teenager working in crappy jobs.
Demona's eyes widened as she pulled it out of the box. The loop on the scabbard could slide over the gargoyle's belt easily. "You bought this for me? Why?" Demona pulled the dagger out and stared at it with a practiced eye. The blade was eleven inches. The shopkeeper had called it a journeyman's dagger. It was long enough to do real damage if it needed to. "This wasn't cheap." Corrine swallowed as her nervousness increased. Demona stared into her eyes, unblinking. "Why did you get this for me?" It wasn't the appreciation that Corrine had expected. It seemed accusatory. Tears burned at her eyes and Corrine stared out at the city lights, rather than into those hard eyes. What the hell had she been thinking?
"I wanted to show you what you mean to me." Corrine spoke through gritted teeth. She felt like dirt, like she was unworthy to even entertain the idea of love with this creature, and she hated that Demona made her feel like that. Her voice caught, but this was the last time she'd see this female, so she was going to say it all. "It took me months of working for a crappy boss to get that for you." The tears started to fall once she said that. "I won't produce any more hunters, but the others…" The others were already talking about how they would deal with the next generation of their family. Robyn wasn't sounding too thrilled with the idea that all three of them felt obligated to make sure the Canmore line continued. "We've hunted you for so long." Corrine turned to look into surprised eyes. "I can never apologize enough… I can never make up for what's been done." Silently as she stared at the female she adding, I can never tell you that I love you. "I can never thank you enough for what you did for me." She whispered. Sitting on the rooftop she realized that she didn't have the right to love this gargoyle. Not after everything that the Canmores had done to this female. She'd never have the right. "I want you to be careful, and," Corrine stared at the blade. "do what you have to do. If someone comes after you," Corrine thought of her family and really hoped that they'd never die by that blade. "I don't want a Canmore to kill you."
"A Canmore never will." Demona spoke quietly. "You don't need to worry about that." The blade was sheathed and Demona took a moment to just stare at it. "You do know that I was just using you to find out where all the Canmore's were. I wanted to know how many still existed." Corrine clenched her fists and willed herself not to feel the pain, but it came anyhow. "I wanted to know how many I needed to kill before I would be free of the hunters. I was glad to hear its just three." Demona stared into Corrine's eyes as Corrine realized that Demona hadn't counted her among them. "I have no love of human's, Canmores in particular." Just because Corrine didn't say it, didn't mean that the gargoyle wouldn't realize that this gift was a gift of love. The fact that it would be Valentines Day tomorrow probably also hinted to Corrine's true intentions. "I have no interest in humans and never will." Demona spat out indignantly and Corrine tried to not flinch.
After a moment of silence Corrine stared out towards the Eiffel Tower. Her voice was shakier than she'd prefer. "I'm going to leave France. I'm planning to move to America."
"I'm leaving France as well." Demona's words shocked Corrine into looking over at her. It exposed her glassy eyes and tear trailed cheeks.
"Where are you going?" Corrine had never thought that the female would leave. The look Demona gave her showed how little trust Demona had in her. She wasn't going to tell her. "I'll never see you again, will I?"
"Canmore, I have what I needed from you." Demona's words were harsh. "There is really no reason for me to see you now. You have no idea how hard it was to pretend to care about a Canmore. I'm glad it's over."
Corrine whimpered and felt like she'd received yet another kick in the chest tonight. She was going to cry she felt it. She turned to run to the roof access door and threw it open. She didn't see the gargoyle staring at her back, or that the gargoyle took a step towards her with her arm outstretched before letting it fall to her side and turning to angrily leap off the roof. Corrine ran down a few flights of stairs before sitting down and pulling her knees into her chest as she rocked and cried. No one loved her, not even the female that Corrine was sure was the only one that did.