Disclaimer: Boring from here on out. I ran out of good disclaimers in my
last fic. I didn't even own some of my disclaimers. I like to think I own
Kai and a few others, but it's more likely they own me.
Author's Notes: I'm sorry this chapter is late, but my life has been on the spectrum leaning towards 'living hell.' Read on.
~ ~ ~ ~
After a piteous suicide attempt to drown herself in the moat, Kai was dragged into the castle. She was nearly shoved into her rooms by Uinse who hissed "You must have a death wish if you do anything stupid," as he slammed the door shut.
"Hmph!" Kai drew herself haughtily. "To think I, of all people, would do anything stupid!" As an after thought, she added, "Does putting fireworks under the king count as stupid?"
She prepared to bounce out of her room in an irritatingly cheerful fashion when she discovered the door was locked. "Huh, you'd almost think they didn't me going out!" She rolled her eyes. "Tch. Pathetic." She walked over the fireplace and muttered, "Come on, cliché plot devices, work for me." She pulled on a decorative on the fireplace and waited patiently. After that she fiddled with bookcase, twiddled with floorboards, prodded the walls of the closet.
"What sort of castle is this?!" She finally shouted in frustration. In desperation, she grasped the door handle, braced her foot against the wall, and pulled with all her might.
Apparently the door opened in, contrary to Kai's belief's. "Ow... My head..."
"Are you coming or not?" Uinse glared at her from the doorway.
"Depends. Where to?" Kai rose from her fetal position.
"Dinner? I thought you enjoyed dinner."
"I'd rather not." Kai made a face.
"And offend the King and Prince? My dear lady, you must not refuse!" Uinse rolled his eyes and dragged Kai by the arm to the dining hall. "Never though I'd see you refuse a meal."
"Oh, shut up. You've known me for less than a week." Kai snatched her arm back. "And I'm not hungry."
"Ah, my lady," Grant slid up behind the two silently, "Just the woman I wanted to see. But you must not come to dinner in breeches and such. I would die before seeing such a beautiful woman in such disgusting clothing."
"Oh really?" Kai replied impassively, while mentally adding 'The sooner you die the better'. "Well," She sighed dramatically, "I'm afraid I simply have nothing else to wear."
"My father wouldn't hear of it."
"Oh dear, is he deaf?" Kai continued to smile as Uinse jabbed her in the stomach sharply.
Grant stared at Kai for a second too long before bursting into laughter.
Kai joined in with the tinkling laugh of a refined lady before adding, "My, what false laughter!" This time Kai nearly doubled over from the not- so-hidden blow from Uinse, before she continued on laughing. "Uinse, you must be more careful. You are simply so clumsy!" She giggled and held her hand daintily to cover her laughter as she slammed her heel into Uinse's toe.
By the time the three reached the dining hall, Kai's laughter had the hints of hysteria and Grant's of annoyance. Uinse was simply glowering.
~ ~ ~ ~
Kai stared at the meal prepared before her. Two courses had already flown past without her taking a single bite. She smiled weakly as a third course was brought out and placed before her.
"I really couldn't..." She looked around hopefully for some sort of dog to eat her meal.
"Why won't you eat?" The King glared at her indignantly.
"I, uh, had something to eat before this?" Kai searched her comrads nervously for support.
"We certainly didn't feed you anything." Kel shrugged. "Our last meal was at noon, remember?" She stared at Kai incredulously as the playwright poked the meat as though it was an alien object.
"Something must be wrong for Kai to refuse food." Uinse scoffed.
Kai nearly glared before catching herself and piped up, "Exactly! I'm, uh, feeling terribly sick! I must go to my rooms to lay down!"
Kai rushed out of the room before anyone could argue. And she did indeed head to her rooms. The eat some food she had begged off the royal kitchens in Tortal just in case.
She had spoken to Jamie in private before he had left. When she mentioned she was going to be seeing the Tyran royalty, he had given her a far more realistic view than anything Kel had told her.
He referenced what had happened to previous diplomats, including several poisonings and 'convenient deaths', which Kai only thought about when she added them in her plays. Jamie was leaving because many thieves threatened to turn him in, and he had heard what happened to prisoners. He was, the authoress considered, one of those people who considered his body a temple. Jamie, wherever he was right then, glared at the authoress and insisted he did not, he just preffered not to be roasted on an open fire.
Whether Jamie was roasting or not, Kai didn't want to become a 'convenient death' and refused to eat any food given to her formally. She would look to the kitchens here for help, if need be. They probably wouldn't poison her. Probably.
Once she was satiated, Kai wondered if there were any tall towers around the castle. High places helped her think.
She had wandered to the door before remembering the moat blocking her way. "I guess this is why people stopped having moats," She grumbled, "No one can get in, but no one can get out, either. What a pain."
Then the little light bulb pinged on in Kai's head. The authoress plucked it out of the air. "Anachronisms aren't allowed." She glared at the little bulb and stomped it to death with a vigor not known to the passive. "Anger management is good for you."
Anyway, back to the plot. Kai figured how to get to the grounds. As is traditional in castles like this, there is always a side way in, usually from the kitchens. She grinned and decided to just 'collect a few things' while in the kitchen. After that, she could swim the moat. Unlike anyone trying to get in, she wasn't wearing full armor and a sword.
She walked into the kitchen with confidence that all the servant would be gone. Yet instead she saw a quiet group muttering darkly, with the occasional hysteric laugh inserted in.
'None of my business.' she thought, before trying to sneak past silently. Yet the instant she reached the door, each and every head flew up in unison and stared at her.
"Trying to listen in, eh?" One, with wild eyes and a grizzled look, glared at her.
Kai glared right back. "Oh yes, I was trying to listen in on your extremely boring conversation while standing right here, out in the open, right by the door of which I was planning to leave by. I'm that stupid, really I am."
They all nodded they're heads, once more in unison, to the point where Kai was slightly disturbed and wondered how they managed it.
"And why would you be spying on us?" The same man glared.
"I wasn't!" Kai shouted, "I was trying to go outside! Haven't you people ever heard of something called, oh say, sarcasm? I could care less about your little conversation, so long as it doesn't involve," Her voice calmed down slightly, "a, my death, b, the sudden cease of provision of my meals, and c, any implications of insanity involving me. In other words, unless it involves me, I don't really care." She thought on this for a moment. "Wait, no, if it involves the death of a certain irritating prince of whom I will not specify beyond the fact that his name might just, oh say, happen to be, by pure coincidence... Grant? Then I'm more than interested, I'd help." She looked to them hopefully.
They all stared at each other and whispered amongst themselves for a moment before she heard "obviously psychotic," with several looking towards her. Kai rampaged over to the group and hit the man who had said that over the head violently.
"Only slightly," She glared.
The group blinked once or twice before the apparent public speaker of the group eyed her warily before asking, "I don't suppose you'd be that diplomat girl, would ye?"
Kai eyed him equally warily before asking, "Depends. Why do you ask?"
"We was ordered to put some poison in yer food... later this week. But yeh seems to be a decent lass. Intelligent. I, unlike the king, appreciate intelligence. Would yeh like somethin' t' eat? I was told yeh refused the meal. Ye're aware of the poisoning rumors then?"
"A little bird told me," Kai scoffed.
"Ah. But we've decided we like you." He nodded solemnly.
"Slightly psychotic!" The man who Kai had hit over the head giggled insanely.
"With him, that's a compliment." A girl piped up.
"Ah." Kai looked at the group. They seemed more collective than each person an individual.
"Feel free to sit in. We're forming a worker's union. Demanding minimum wage and such." The speaker smiled, though it was more of a leer.
"Uh, no thanks. Really." Kai smiled weakly before slamming the door behind her.
She inhaled the brisk air and smiled into the darkness. "Closest thing to freedom I'll be getting until I leave this place." She stripped off her shift and tied it around her waist. She dived into the moat and crashed through a thin layer of ice. The coldness engulfed her and she was shivering before she had even taken a stroke. She watched in horror as she saw her shift float down into the murky depths.
"Great. Just great." She muttered before shivering and continuing to swim across to the other side. She tried not to imagine what things lurked beneath the surface as she swam on.
Once on the other side she realized the mistake of not attempting to retrieve her shift from the bottom of the moat. She felt like an ice cube as she attempted to rub heat into her arms.
"Having a skinny dip?" Kai jumped at the voice behind her.
"Wouldn't you wish, Uinse. Sorry, but no."
"Then what were you doing exactly?" He smiled cockily.
"Attempting to go for a walk. There was no other way to get across the moat."
"Except for, maybe, the boat."
"Boat?" She glanced around and found a small row boat resting at the edge of the moat. "You used it to get across then?" She glared at him. "Before or after I swam my way across?"
"Before." He laughed. "I've been out here since dinner ended. Which, by the way, was delicious, since you weren't there."
"Thank you so much. I appreciate the kindness, especially since I'm freezing to death here."
"Your own fault. I probably would have brought the boat back for you."
"Oh yes, 'probably' you say. I definitely believe that." Kai rolled her eyes.
"I would have!" Uinse defended himself.
"With the honor of a knight defending his castle, I'm sure. Now shut up and give me your shirt."
"What?!" He backed away and gave her a terrified look.
"It's the gentlemanly thing to do. Give it here." She held her hand out expectantly.
He eyed her warily. "I suppose... Since you're bound to catch cold if you don't something decent on, and Kel wouldn't be thrilled with that." He took off his shift and handed it to her.
"Thank you ever so much." She smiled sweetly. " Now GO AND DIE!!" She booted him into the moat and threw his shirt into the middle of the moat.
"What was that for?!"
"If I'm cold, then damn it, you have to be cold too."
Uinse glared and drudged himself out of the moat. "You have some mentality. I shouldn't have given you that damn shirt."
"Probably. But you were still gullible enough to." Kai shrugged and smiled mysteriously. Then she crawled into the boat and began to row to the other side.
"Don't leave me here!" Uinse plunged into the water after the departing boat.
"Tell me why I shouldn't!" Kai shouted back.
"Because... because I have a heater in my room!"
The boat slowed to a stop. "Do you really?" Kai eyed him warily.
"Honestly, I do. It's got coals. It's for the colder nights."
"Oh, fine, get in." Kai balanced the boat as a sopping wet Uinse climbed in.
She rowed the boat silently to the shore and followed Uinse inside. The 'union group' was still meeting, and none but the 'slightly psychotic' man looked up as she passed by with Uinse.
"Did you have your run-ins with them?" Kai asked once they had left the kitchen.
"The man who giggles a lot runs a chill down my spine. Something about him just bothers me."
"Huh, he seemed fine to me. He was rather friendly, though in an irritating way. So, where're your rooms?"
"Why do you want to know?" He looked at her suspiciously.
"One word. Heater. Do you know how cold I am?"
"I could only imagine," Uinse rolled his eyes.
They walked on for a bit until they came to his rooms, which happened to be right next to Kai's. She peered into the rooms and saw a discreet door with an embellished handle.
"Where does that door lead to?" She snapped at him.
"Uh, well, they, uh, that is..." Uinse stumbled slightly and turned pink. "They knew you had a guard, so they arranged it so he would be next to you and could, um, gain access to your room. I knew you wouldn't be thrilled, but I didn't have time to tell you."
"Or didn't have the will to tell me. I won't even ask why you thought you might need it. Just keep out of my room. Where's the heater?"
"Over here." Uinse pointed to a small coal heater that could barely radiat more than a two-foot radius.
"Wonderful. Forget it. I'm going to my own room." Kai slammed the door behind her.
Twenty minutes later she came back huddled in five blankets to warm herself in front of the heater. "I'm really cold, all right?"
"I hadn't said anything." He smiled and shook his head.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next morning the king smiled warmly as Kai nervously ate her food. But her servant was the young man who giggled, and murmured a lot, and Kai was reassured to know that the worker's union was controlling what went into her food.
Kai shivered and sneezed once or twice during the meal, yet it seemed each time she made a movement everyone would look up, stare at Lear for a moment, shake their heads disbelievingly before returning to their food. This consistency bothered her, as if there was something that brought everyone's attention to her. Eventually she realized that Lear was openly preening himself while sitting on her shoulder and by this point everyone seemed to think the cat was an extra appendage.
~ ~ ~ ~
At last, breakfast ended and the diplomatic sessions began. Kai edged herself into a seat across the table from a man who could probably count the number of times he'd smiled on one finger. He frowned even deeper when he saw her pathetic attempt at a supportive smile.
"What are you doing here?" He snapped before turning down to his papers. "Where is the diplomat from Tortall? I do not tolerate tardiness."
"I'm the diplomat." Kai replied icily.
"No, you're not. Women are not diplomats." He still did not look up.
"This one is." Kai retorted.
"Leave now."
"I stay to speak with the king. I cannot leave until the sessions are over."
"Leave. The king will not speak to you. He has no interest in seeing you."
"And I'm to take your word on this? The king has seemed far friendlier than you."
"He did not realize that you were the diplomat."
"Oh? Then what was I there for?"
"We assumed you were the...lady the diplomat was involved with. You stayed with him last night, did you not?"
"What?!" Kai stood, knocking her chair back violently. "In no way am I involved with him! He's a pain! My guard, which I don't even need!"
"Oh?" The man raised an arched eyebrow skeptically. "I will ask him personally. I prefer to hear the words from someone honest. A man."
Kai's eyes darkened. "You have no right to speak to me like that. Leave or I will insist that my guard remove you."
"Perhaps it shall be the other way." He nodded to several men standing that Kai hadn't noticed before. They moved forward and lifted her out of her seat. "You are not wanted here anymore." The men didn't even drag her, they just lifted her into the air and took her out of the room, with the man following.
~ ~ ~ ~
Kai struggled and kicked as the men carried her down several flights. At last they set her down at last when they had brought her into a room from which the sallow faces of men leering out of the dim light. A chill ran down her spine as one grinned at her presence.
"These men will enjoy your company for the evening. I hope you enjoy them as much as they'll enjoy you."
The man smiled and barely closed the door before one guard whispered, "Lord Evander, the King will not be pleased with this."
"Silence."
~ ~ ~ ~
Kai looked around to the various faces that peered out of the light. Several had scars that stretched across their entire face, and others had ulcerated eyes that seemed to look everywhere at once. One man limped out of the darkness, on his single foot and the stub that had once been his foot, into the ruddy light of the solitary lamp.
"Would ye like some tea, dear?" He held up a pot and a dainty cup. "I can see ye is at ill in our presence. Perhaps some tea would calm ye down."
"Depends," She glared. "What do you mean by tea?"
"I mean would ye like peach tea or earl grey. It's not a difficult question miss."
"Is it healthy?" She continued to eye him nervously.
"It keeps us on our feet. Well, foot, in my case." He grinned, revealing a mouth that resembled nothing more than a comb that had been fished out of a river ten years after being dropped. Many men laughed coarsely behind him.
"It's all right. I'm... not that thirsty."
"Crumpets then? We have a lovely variety of biscuits as well."
"I wouldn't dare eat anything of your meager supply of food."
"Oh, it's not meager at all. Really. You see, there is an escape hole in the back. We just go out every few weeks to buy a supply of sweets and such. Really. And we use the lamp to heat water for tea. Quite sanitary I assure you." Once more he grinned, yet this time it was more affectionate and reassuring to Kai.
"I'm simply not hungry," She sighed. "I had breakfast not two hours ago. But perhaps around noon? What time do they bring food?"
"Never. But I assure you, we'll be eating the same food you do. I understand you're worried, but we're not the type. Well, some of us are, but they will be properly detained by the rest of us."
"You must be the friendliest bunch of murderers ever." Kai rolled her eyes.
"Kai?" A soft voice came from outside. It sounded like someone she vaguely knew but couldn't but a finger on who.
"Kespin!" Several men grinned and rushed to the door. "Any news?"
"Plenty, none that is of importance to you. Let me speak to Kai."
Kai was ushered to the door by the prisoners. Through the eyehole she saw an eerily familiar face. The 'slightly psychotic' man was peering with his hazel eyes through the peephole.
"You?!" She jerked back in surprise.
"Me. I would be Kespin." He sounded exhasperated.
~ ~ ~ ~
Author's Notes: I know I'm late by over a week, but things have been really hellish. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon, but I have finals, plus a lot of family problems so it may be another two weeks. Sorry.
Author's Notes: I'm sorry this chapter is late, but my life has been on the spectrum leaning towards 'living hell.' Read on.
~ ~ ~ ~
After a piteous suicide attempt to drown herself in the moat, Kai was dragged into the castle. She was nearly shoved into her rooms by Uinse who hissed "You must have a death wish if you do anything stupid," as he slammed the door shut.
"Hmph!" Kai drew herself haughtily. "To think I, of all people, would do anything stupid!" As an after thought, she added, "Does putting fireworks under the king count as stupid?"
She prepared to bounce out of her room in an irritatingly cheerful fashion when she discovered the door was locked. "Huh, you'd almost think they didn't me going out!" She rolled her eyes. "Tch. Pathetic." She walked over the fireplace and muttered, "Come on, cliché plot devices, work for me." She pulled on a decorative on the fireplace and waited patiently. After that she fiddled with bookcase, twiddled with floorboards, prodded the walls of the closet.
"What sort of castle is this?!" She finally shouted in frustration. In desperation, she grasped the door handle, braced her foot against the wall, and pulled with all her might.
Apparently the door opened in, contrary to Kai's belief's. "Ow... My head..."
"Are you coming or not?" Uinse glared at her from the doorway.
"Depends. Where to?" Kai rose from her fetal position.
"Dinner? I thought you enjoyed dinner."
"I'd rather not." Kai made a face.
"And offend the King and Prince? My dear lady, you must not refuse!" Uinse rolled his eyes and dragged Kai by the arm to the dining hall. "Never though I'd see you refuse a meal."
"Oh, shut up. You've known me for less than a week." Kai snatched her arm back. "And I'm not hungry."
"Ah, my lady," Grant slid up behind the two silently, "Just the woman I wanted to see. But you must not come to dinner in breeches and such. I would die before seeing such a beautiful woman in such disgusting clothing."
"Oh really?" Kai replied impassively, while mentally adding 'The sooner you die the better'. "Well," She sighed dramatically, "I'm afraid I simply have nothing else to wear."
"My father wouldn't hear of it."
"Oh dear, is he deaf?" Kai continued to smile as Uinse jabbed her in the stomach sharply.
Grant stared at Kai for a second too long before bursting into laughter.
Kai joined in with the tinkling laugh of a refined lady before adding, "My, what false laughter!" This time Kai nearly doubled over from the not- so-hidden blow from Uinse, before she continued on laughing. "Uinse, you must be more careful. You are simply so clumsy!" She giggled and held her hand daintily to cover her laughter as she slammed her heel into Uinse's toe.
By the time the three reached the dining hall, Kai's laughter had the hints of hysteria and Grant's of annoyance. Uinse was simply glowering.
~ ~ ~ ~
Kai stared at the meal prepared before her. Two courses had already flown past without her taking a single bite. She smiled weakly as a third course was brought out and placed before her.
"I really couldn't..." She looked around hopefully for some sort of dog to eat her meal.
"Why won't you eat?" The King glared at her indignantly.
"I, uh, had something to eat before this?" Kai searched her comrads nervously for support.
"We certainly didn't feed you anything." Kel shrugged. "Our last meal was at noon, remember?" She stared at Kai incredulously as the playwright poked the meat as though it was an alien object.
"Something must be wrong for Kai to refuse food." Uinse scoffed.
Kai nearly glared before catching herself and piped up, "Exactly! I'm, uh, feeling terribly sick! I must go to my rooms to lay down!"
Kai rushed out of the room before anyone could argue. And she did indeed head to her rooms. The eat some food she had begged off the royal kitchens in Tortal just in case.
She had spoken to Jamie in private before he had left. When she mentioned she was going to be seeing the Tyran royalty, he had given her a far more realistic view than anything Kel had told her.
He referenced what had happened to previous diplomats, including several poisonings and 'convenient deaths', which Kai only thought about when she added them in her plays. Jamie was leaving because many thieves threatened to turn him in, and he had heard what happened to prisoners. He was, the authoress considered, one of those people who considered his body a temple. Jamie, wherever he was right then, glared at the authoress and insisted he did not, he just preffered not to be roasted on an open fire.
Whether Jamie was roasting or not, Kai didn't want to become a 'convenient death' and refused to eat any food given to her formally. She would look to the kitchens here for help, if need be. They probably wouldn't poison her. Probably.
Once she was satiated, Kai wondered if there were any tall towers around the castle. High places helped her think.
She had wandered to the door before remembering the moat blocking her way. "I guess this is why people stopped having moats," She grumbled, "No one can get in, but no one can get out, either. What a pain."
Then the little light bulb pinged on in Kai's head. The authoress plucked it out of the air. "Anachronisms aren't allowed." She glared at the little bulb and stomped it to death with a vigor not known to the passive. "Anger management is good for you."
Anyway, back to the plot. Kai figured how to get to the grounds. As is traditional in castles like this, there is always a side way in, usually from the kitchens. She grinned and decided to just 'collect a few things' while in the kitchen. After that, she could swim the moat. Unlike anyone trying to get in, she wasn't wearing full armor and a sword.
She walked into the kitchen with confidence that all the servant would be gone. Yet instead she saw a quiet group muttering darkly, with the occasional hysteric laugh inserted in.
'None of my business.' she thought, before trying to sneak past silently. Yet the instant she reached the door, each and every head flew up in unison and stared at her.
"Trying to listen in, eh?" One, with wild eyes and a grizzled look, glared at her.
Kai glared right back. "Oh yes, I was trying to listen in on your extremely boring conversation while standing right here, out in the open, right by the door of which I was planning to leave by. I'm that stupid, really I am."
They all nodded they're heads, once more in unison, to the point where Kai was slightly disturbed and wondered how they managed it.
"And why would you be spying on us?" The same man glared.
"I wasn't!" Kai shouted, "I was trying to go outside! Haven't you people ever heard of something called, oh say, sarcasm? I could care less about your little conversation, so long as it doesn't involve," Her voice calmed down slightly, "a, my death, b, the sudden cease of provision of my meals, and c, any implications of insanity involving me. In other words, unless it involves me, I don't really care." She thought on this for a moment. "Wait, no, if it involves the death of a certain irritating prince of whom I will not specify beyond the fact that his name might just, oh say, happen to be, by pure coincidence... Grant? Then I'm more than interested, I'd help." She looked to them hopefully.
They all stared at each other and whispered amongst themselves for a moment before she heard "obviously psychotic," with several looking towards her. Kai rampaged over to the group and hit the man who had said that over the head violently.
"Only slightly," She glared.
The group blinked once or twice before the apparent public speaker of the group eyed her warily before asking, "I don't suppose you'd be that diplomat girl, would ye?"
Kai eyed him equally warily before asking, "Depends. Why do you ask?"
"We was ordered to put some poison in yer food... later this week. But yeh seems to be a decent lass. Intelligent. I, unlike the king, appreciate intelligence. Would yeh like somethin' t' eat? I was told yeh refused the meal. Ye're aware of the poisoning rumors then?"
"A little bird told me," Kai scoffed.
"Ah. But we've decided we like you." He nodded solemnly.
"Slightly psychotic!" The man who Kai had hit over the head giggled insanely.
"With him, that's a compliment." A girl piped up.
"Ah." Kai looked at the group. They seemed more collective than each person an individual.
"Feel free to sit in. We're forming a worker's union. Demanding minimum wage and such." The speaker smiled, though it was more of a leer.
"Uh, no thanks. Really." Kai smiled weakly before slamming the door behind her.
She inhaled the brisk air and smiled into the darkness. "Closest thing to freedom I'll be getting until I leave this place." She stripped off her shift and tied it around her waist. She dived into the moat and crashed through a thin layer of ice. The coldness engulfed her and she was shivering before she had even taken a stroke. She watched in horror as she saw her shift float down into the murky depths.
"Great. Just great." She muttered before shivering and continuing to swim across to the other side. She tried not to imagine what things lurked beneath the surface as she swam on.
Once on the other side she realized the mistake of not attempting to retrieve her shift from the bottom of the moat. She felt like an ice cube as she attempted to rub heat into her arms.
"Having a skinny dip?" Kai jumped at the voice behind her.
"Wouldn't you wish, Uinse. Sorry, but no."
"Then what were you doing exactly?" He smiled cockily.
"Attempting to go for a walk. There was no other way to get across the moat."
"Except for, maybe, the boat."
"Boat?" She glanced around and found a small row boat resting at the edge of the moat. "You used it to get across then?" She glared at him. "Before or after I swam my way across?"
"Before." He laughed. "I've been out here since dinner ended. Which, by the way, was delicious, since you weren't there."
"Thank you so much. I appreciate the kindness, especially since I'm freezing to death here."
"Your own fault. I probably would have brought the boat back for you."
"Oh yes, 'probably' you say. I definitely believe that." Kai rolled her eyes.
"I would have!" Uinse defended himself.
"With the honor of a knight defending his castle, I'm sure. Now shut up and give me your shirt."
"What?!" He backed away and gave her a terrified look.
"It's the gentlemanly thing to do. Give it here." She held her hand out expectantly.
He eyed her warily. "I suppose... Since you're bound to catch cold if you don't something decent on, and Kel wouldn't be thrilled with that." He took off his shift and handed it to her.
"Thank you ever so much." She smiled sweetly. " Now GO AND DIE!!" She booted him into the moat and threw his shirt into the middle of the moat.
"What was that for?!"
"If I'm cold, then damn it, you have to be cold too."
Uinse glared and drudged himself out of the moat. "You have some mentality. I shouldn't have given you that damn shirt."
"Probably. But you were still gullible enough to." Kai shrugged and smiled mysteriously. Then she crawled into the boat and began to row to the other side.
"Don't leave me here!" Uinse plunged into the water after the departing boat.
"Tell me why I shouldn't!" Kai shouted back.
"Because... because I have a heater in my room!"
The boat slowed to a stop. "Do you really?" Kai eyed him warily.
"Honestly, I do. It's got coals. It's for the colder nights."
"Oh, fine, get in." Kai balanced the boat as a sopping wet Uinse climbed in.
She rowed the boat silently to the shore and followed Uinse inside. The 'union group' was still meeting, and none but the 'slightly psychotic' man looked up as she passed by with Uinse.
"Did you have your run-ins with them?" Kai asked once they had left the kitchen.
"The man who giggles a lot runs a chill down my spine. Something about him just bothers me."
"Huh, he seemed fine to me. He was rather friendly, though in an irritating way. So, where're your rooms?"
"Why do you want to know?" He looked at her suspiciously.
"One word. Heater. Do you know how cold I am?"
"I could only imagine," Uinse rolled his eyes.
They walked on for a bit until they came to his rooms, which happened to be right next to Kai's. She peered into the rooms and saw a discreet door with an embellished handle.
"Where does that door lead to?" She snapped at him.
"Uh, well, they, uh, that is..." Uinse stumbled slightly and turned pink. "They knew you had a guard, so they arranged it so he would be next to you and could, um, gain access to your room. I knew you wouldn't be thrilled, but I didn't have time to tell you."
"Or didn't have the will to tell me. I won't even ask why you thought you might need it. Just keep out of my room. Where's the heater?"
"Over here." Uinse pointed to a small coal heater that could barely radiat more than a two-foot radius.
"Wonderful. Forget it. I'm going to my own room." Kai slammed the door behind her.
Twenty minutes later she came back huddled in five blankets to warm herself in front of the heater. "I'm really cold, all right?"
"I hadn't said anything." He smiled and shook his head.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next morning the king smiled warmly as Kai nervously ate her food. But her servant was the young man who giggled, and murmured a lot, and Kai was reassured to know that the worker's union was controlling what went into her food.
Kai shivered and sneezed once or twice during the meal, yet it seemed each time she made a movement everyone would look up, stare at Lear for a moment, shake their heads disbelievingly before returning to their food. This consistency bothered her, as if there was something that brought everyone's attention to her. Eventually she realized that Lear was openly preening himself while sitting on her shoulder and by this point everyone seemed to think the cat was an extra appendage.
~ ~ ~ ~
At last, breakfast ended and the diplomatic sessions began. Kai edged herself into a seat across the table from a man who could probably count the number of times he'd smiled on one finger. He frowned even deeper when he saw her pathetic attempt at a supportive smile.
"What are you doing here?" He snapped before turning down to his papers. "Where is the diplomat from Tortall? I do not tolerate tardiness."
"I'm the diplomat." Kai replied icily.
"No, you're not. Women are not diplomats." He still did not look up.
"This one is." Kai retorted.
"Leave now."
"I stay to speak with the king. I cannot leave until the sessions are over."
"Leave. The king will not speak to you. He has no interest in seeing you."
"And I'm to take your word on this? The king has seemed far friendlier than you."
"He did not realize that you were the diplomat."
"Oh? Then what was I there for?"
"We assumed you were the...lady the diplomat was involved with. You stayed with him last night, did you not?"
"What?!" Kai stood, knocking her chair back violently. "In no way am I involved with him! He's a pain! My guard, which I don't even need!"
"Oh?" The man raised an arched eyebrow skeptically. "I will ask him personally. I prefer to hear the words from someone honest. A man."
Kai's eyes darkened. "You have no right to speak to me like that. Leave or I will insist that my guard remove you."
"Perhaps it shall be the other way." He nodded to several men standing that Kai hadn't noticed before. They moved forward and lifted her out of her seat. "You are not wanted here anymore." The men didn't even drag her, they just lifted her into the air and took her out of the room, with the man following.
~ ~ ~ ~
Kai struggled and kicked as the men carried her down several flights. At last they set her down at last when they had brought her into a room from which the sallow faces of men leering out of the dim light. A chill ran down her spine as one grinned at her presence.
"These men will enjoy your company for the evening. I hope you enjoy them as much as they'll enjoy you."
The man smiled and barely closed the door before one guard whispered, "Lord Evander, the King will not be pleased with this."
"Silence."
~ ~ ~ ~
Kai looked around to the various faces that peered out of the light. Several had scars that stretched across their entire face, and others had ulcerated eyes that seemed to look everywhere at once. One man limped out of the darkness, on his single foot and the stub that had once been his foot, into the ruddy light of the solitary lamp.
"Would ye like some tea, dear?" He held up a pot and a dainty cup. "I can see ye is at ill in our presence. Perhaps some tea would calm ye down."
"Depends," She glared. "What do you mean by tea?"
"I mean would ye like peach tea or earl grey. It's not a difficult question miss."
"Is it healthy?" She continued to eye him nervously.
"It keeps us on our feet. Well, foot, in my case." He grinned, revealing a mouth that resembled nothing more than a comb that had been fished out of a river ten years after being dropped. Many men laughed coarsely behind him.
"It's all right. I'm... not that thirsty."
"Crumpets then? We have a lovely variety of biscuits as well."
"I wouldn't dare eat anything of your meager supply of food."
"Oh, it's not meager at all. Really. You see, there is an escape hole in the back. We just go out every few weeks to buy a supply of sweets and such. Really. And we use the lamp to heat water for tea. Quite sanitary I assure you." Once more he grinned, yet this time it was more affectionate and reassuring to Kai.
"I'm simply not hungry," She sighed. "I had breakfast not two hours ago. But perhaps around noon? What time do they bring food?"
"Never. But I assure you, we'll be eating the same food you do. I understand you're worried, but we're not the type. Well, some of us are, but they will be properly detained by the rest of us."
"You must be the friendliest bunch of murderers ever." Kai rolled her eyes.
"Kai?" A soft voice came from outside. It sounded like someone she vaguely knew but couldn't but a finger on who.
"Kespin!" Several men grinned and rushed to the door. "Any news?"
"Plenty, none that is of importance to you. Let me speak to Kai."
Kai was ushered to the door by the prisoners. Through the eyehole she saw an eerily familiar face. The 'slightly psychotic' man was peering with his hazel eyes through the peephole.
"You?!" She jerked back in surprise.
"Me. I would be Kespin." He sounded exhasperated.
~ ~ ~ ~
Author's Notes: I know I'm late by over a week, but things have been really hellish. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon, but I have finals, plus a lot of family problems so it may be another two weeks. Sorry.