Author: Rhapsody

Rating: PG

A/N: This deals with the death of an X-person and the affect it has on all the others. Hope you enjoy this piece; it is my first in a very long time.

Utopia

"Here, Wolvie. Take this." The voice said pushing into his hands something she'd never let anyone touch.

Kid, cut it out. You're gonna be fine. "Ya have ta be fine", he thought

"You're a liar, Wolvie. I know…" she said as her hand reached up for his stubbly face. "I know I won't make it. I can see it, in all of your eyes. I am okay with it. Our mission was a success. I'm hap…" she winced as she adjusted her position without ease.

"Stay still will ya! Quit bein' so damn hardheaded!"

"Ha, I learned it from you, old man."

"Cut the old man crap, brat."

In the front of the jet, where their words could be heard, tearful smirks forced their way through the sadness that was felt by all. The youngest X-men, their collective child, laid dying and there wasn't a damn thing anyone of them could do for her. Scott's want to be by her side was overshadowed by the fact that someone needed to fly the jet. Jean wanted to sit with her but someone needed to assist in navigation. Gambit, sat nearby occasionally passing a side-glance, but a hard lump he had yet to swallow replaced his normally smooth voice. So instead Logan sat back on his staunches next to her and let her grip his hand with every winced and Ororo sat at the foot of Jubilee's resting place silently praying.

"You're awfully quiet, 'Ro."

She tried to smile, but a tear escaped.

"I've never seen you cry. It's good to know I'm loved." She joked.

"Always, child, since the day you walked into our lives you have been loved. You have always known that."

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted you to say something." Her smile was infectious. "I mean like really, how could you not love me, I'm a brat." She smiled. Right Gambit?

"Yeah Petite, a real pain in the ass", He managed without getting choked up.

"Hush now. Ya need ta rest, Darlin'. You'll be fine." He looked to Ororo and she knew what he knew. He was trying to convince himself, even though he knew the truth. It was his first taste of denial and it was bitter.

"Okay if ya say so. But you all promise me something. When I die, I wanna be cremated and my ashes half with my biological family and the other half with you."

She leaned back and closed her eyes. "When I die, when I die, when I die, when I die…" Brave girl, Gambit thought. As many times as they said she would be fine, she wasn't afraid to embrace the truth.

***

30 minutes later.

"Brace for landing people." 

"Hey Jubes, we're here." He nudged her. "Jubes?"

"Jubilation?" Ororo tried. There was no answer. "She is gone." Heads bowed and not another word was uttered. All silently exited the jet with Logan carrying her limp body in tow.

***

The mansion was in mourning that evening. All gathered in Xavier's office. Seats and floors, ceiling and walls covered with crying eyes and silent wails couldn't look one another in the eyes just staring into whatever empty place wasn't occupied by another. All except Wolverine, that is.

"Gambit know grown men who ac' like enfants when death be starin'. Jub'lee was braver den anyone o' den!"

The Cajun twang filled the air, as he was the first to speak up. Some looked up and smiled, some cried harder.

"Brash, impulsive, juvenile, annoying, uncouth," Monet stated. "I hope the firecracker knew I liked her." Monet felt a smile on her back.

"Don't look at me like that, Paige. As much as she irked my ever-loving nerves, she was had her funny moments, whether or not I laughed aloud is another story. Perhaps I should've."

The voices began to pick up one by one, sharing a memorable Jubilee incident. Prankish secrets amongst friends all now shared and had laughs to outweigh the tears.

Logan could hear all, but the way of brooding was for him, but there is but so many times you can slash your belongings till you realized you'll have nothing left. So as usual taking off was best for him. Snatching his jacket a plastic object hit the floor. It was what Jubilee gave to him onboard the jet, her disc man, something she usually never let out of her sight. He turned it on and made his way to the garage, but the words stopped him in his tracks. She meant this for not just him, but for everyone. He had to deliver the message.

He turned about face and walked to where all was gathered. Opening the door, all eyes turned to him, but his usual grimace couldn't sway those eyes.

"Jubes gave this to me, but it wasn't meant for me. It was meant for all of us." He walked to the stereo system and inserted the disc.

The music filled the room and not a breath could be heard.

We'd gather around all in a room

Fasten out belts engage in dialogue

We'd all slow down rest without guilt

Not lie without fear disagree sans judgment

We would stay and respond and expand and include

And allow and forgive and enjoy and evolve

And discern and inquire and accept and admit

And divulge and open and reach out and speak up

This is utopia this is my utopia

This is my ideal end in sight

Utopia this is my utopia

This is my nirvana

My ultimate

We'd open our arms

We'd all jump in

We'd all coast down into safety nets

We would share and listen and support and welcome

Be propelled by passion not invest in outcomes

We would breathe and be charmed and amused by difference

Be gentle and make room for every emotion

This is utopia this is my utopia

This is my ideal end in sight

Utopia this is my utopia

This is my nirvana

My ultimate

We'd all provide forums

We'd all speak out

We'd all be hears

We'd all feel seen

We'd rise post-obstacles more defined more grateful

We would heal be humbled and be unstoppable

We'd hold close and let go and know when to do which

We'd release and disarm and stand up and feel safe

This is utopia this is my utopia

This is my ideal my end in sight

Utopia this is my utopia

This is my nirvana

My ultimate

"That couldn't have been said more appropriately. Thank you Jubilee." Xavier whispered.

The melody lingered to an end and they were all left with an undeniable gift, hope.

The End