Title: Believing
Series: Weiss Kreuz
Pairing: Aya + Omi
Genre: General/ Romance/ Drama
Rating: PG
Standard Disclaimers apply.
BELIEVING
By Ryuuen
-- The difference between dreams and reality is believing.
Do you believe in Heaven, Aya-kun?
No.
Why not?
It is useless to believe in something we can never achieve.
Sou ka.
...
Do you believe in Hell, then?
Maybe.
Do you think all of us will go to Hell?
No.
Why? We kill, right? We have no place in Heaven. Where else is there to go?
Only innocents deserve Heaven. Sinners deserve Hell.
And we?
We deserve to live.
Nanda?
Living is our punishment.
The punishment for our crimes, that we may atone for them, ne, Aya-kun?
...
But what are Heaven and Hell, then, if we may already be punished for our sins as we live?
Heaven and Hell aren't places. They are states of being.
Then our lives are our own personal Hells.
...
What difference does it make if we die?
Nothing.
***
Do you believe in prayers, Aya-kun?
No.
Why not?
There would be no one to listen.
So you don't believe in God either?
I believe in divine justice.
You believe in the exercise of divine power but not in its source?
I believe in myself.
But you're not God. Neither death nor the devil. Just a murderer. You said that yourself once.
I don't claim divinity.
But isn't punishing the evil ones, as we do, taking divine justice into our own hands?
It is our flaw as humans.
Gods have no flaws, ne, Aya-kun?
Gods aren't murderers.
***
Do you believe in dreams, Aya-kun?
No.
Why not?
Dreams are merely figments of our subconscious minds.
But you do dream, don't you?
I do.
And you don't believe in them?
It would be futile.
I guess. But what do you dream about in the first place?
...
Do you dream of Aya-chan? Or Sakura-chan, maybe?
Sometimes.
Are they happy dreams?
...
I dream too, y'know, Aya-kun?
Everybody does.
But my dreams are special. Do you know what my happy dreams are about?
...
You.
Hn.
***
Do you believe in friendship, Aya-kun?
Maybe.
Are we your friends? Am I your friend?
What kind of question is that?
I dunno. Just answer it.
Most of the time.
That's the best I can get out of you, ne?
Hn.
Why?
..?
Why do you consider us your friends? How do you distinguish friendship from mere companionship?
You tell me.
Nani? What's that supposed to mean?
I never believed in friendship before. Not after betrayal. I could not.
And still, you say that you consider us your friends. Why?
You.
Nani?
You taught me the meaning of friendship.
But I almost betrayed you. You hated me once.
You didn't. I don't.
So am I your friend?
Hn.
***
Do you believe in love, Aya-kun?
Love is an illusion for the weak.
So you think love is a weakness, then?
There are many forms of love.
I don't understand. Love, in whatever form, is still love - a pure emotion. Isn't it?
...
Love can strengthen too, don't you think, Aya-kun? Sometimes, it is the only thing that keeps us going.
Does it?
You love Aya-chan, don't you?
She's my sister.
Well, there's that. Ne, Aya-kun, have you ever been in love?
...
Have you?
Maybe.
Who is it, Aya-kun? Not that it's any of my business, of course.
Hn.
I guessed not. So you believe in love, then? Otherwise, how could you have realized how you feel for that person?
There's a thin line between friendship and love.
Sou ka. Who is it, then? Ken-kun? Yoji-kun?
...
Mou, Aya-kun!? That's unfair!?
Hn.
Oh well...
I never said I believe in love, Omi.
Nani? But everybody has to believe in something. What about you?
You, Omi.
Nanda?
I believe in US.
***
Do you believe in fate, Aya-kun?
No.
Why?
We are the masters of our destiny.
But how do we know what our destiny is or how we are supposed to live our lives?
Instinct tells us what we should do.
And that has nothing to do with fate?
...
Doesn't it seem sometimes that everything happens according to some pre-determined plan?
What about irony?
I suppose there's that. But you know what, Aya-kun?
...
I can't help but believe in fate.
Why is that?
Because I believe that fate was what led me to you.
***
Do you believe in forever, Aya-kun?
No.
Why not?
I believe in today.
Oh.
Did you want me to promise you forever?
No.
You're lying.
No. Yes. I don't know. We have this, Aya-kun, whatever this is, but who knows until when? I can't help but fear that one day...
Don't.
Demo, I can't. I can't help worrying about the time when we'd have to move on and forget everything, when you'd get tired of this and just walk away as though nothing happened. I don't want to wake up one morning to find you gone.
Nothing lasts forever, Omi.
Sou desu.
But I'll promise you today.
Nani? But what of that promise when today ends? What of tomorrow and the days after that?
I'll promise you today and renew that promise every day to come.
So you'll stay, Aya-kun?
For as long as you want.
***
Do you believe in love, Aya-kun?
No.
You hardly believe in anything.
You are the believer between us.
True. But then, everybody has to believe in something somehow. I told you that once.
Do you remember my answer?
Ne?
I believe in US, Omi. Always have.
Aya-kun?
Isn't that enough?
No, Aya-kun. It's more than enough.
-- Sometimes, believing is all it takes to make our dreams a reality.
Owari.