~AN~ I formally bow down to both JKR and Big Idea, which owns VeggieTales,
and therefore, Silly Songs with Larry, which is how you find the Pirates
Who Don't Do Anything. Anybody who has never seen an episode of Veggie
Tales must go rent one from their library after reading this fic. And if
you have seen one, you should check out 3-2-1 Penguins! also by Big Idea.
Anyway, onto the fic, which is pretty much pointless. And I wish I could
point you to an online version of the original song, as it should hopefully
be funnier if you can hear it in your head.
Narrator: We come across a late evening in the Slytherin Common Room, only to find 3 very minor Slytherins. None of the major characters are around, and we are able to attain a glimpse of how less troublesome Slytherins behave when supposedly unobserved. They are identified as Blaise Zabini, and the only last name Quidditch players Bletchley and Warrington.
All: We're the Deatheaters Who Don't Do Anything! We just lurk in halls and lounge around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you.
Blaise: We don't do anything!
Bletchley: Well, I've never tripped a Muggle, and I've never hexed a Mud- blood, and I've never placed a Weasley in the way of certain harm, and I've never lied to Hagrid, and I've never kicked a puppy, and I never got a Dark Mark on the arm!
All: 'Cuz we're the Deatheaters Who Don't Do Anything! We just lurk in halls and lounge around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you.
Warrington: We don't do anything. And I never bow to Malfoy, and I never hit on Pansy, and I never wrote graffiti just so I could raise alarm, and I've never mocked the Trio, and I've never hurt ol' Albus, and I never got a Dark Mark on the arm!
All: 'Cuz we're the Deatheaters Who Don't Do Anything! We just lurk in halls and lounge around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you we don't do anything.
Blaise: Well, I've never got a gender, and I'm not too good at Quidditch, and I've never sang a chorus of Old MacDonald's farm, and I've never kissed a kneazle, and I've never had a lawn gnome, and I never got a Dark Mark on the arm!
Bletchley: Huh? What are you talking about? What's your gender and Old MacDonald have to do with being a Death Eater?
Warrington: Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about Deatheater-y things!
Blaise: Oh.
Bletchley: And who ever kissed a kneazle? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?
Warrington: I think you look like Lord Voldemort.
Bletchley: Huh? No I don't!
Warrington: Do to.
Bletchley: Do not!
Warrington: You are making me frightened.
Bletchley: That's it, you're going under Cruciatus!
Warrington: Says who?
Bletchley: Says the leader, that's who!
Warrington: Oh, yeah? Well, let me bow down to you, Lord Voldemort!
Bletchley: Arg!
Warrington: Yikes!
Blaise: And I've never kicked a boggart, and I've never sniffed Ms. Bulstrode, and I've never wanted to live at Hogwarts as the primary schoolmarm, and I've never bathed in yoghurt, and I don't look good in leggings.
Bletchley: You just don't get it!
All: And we've never got a Dark Mark on the arm!
Narrator: We come across a late evening in the Slytherin Common Room, only to find 3 very minor Slytherins. None of the major characters are around, and we are able to attain a glimpse of how less troublesome Slytherins behave when supposedly unobserved. They are identified as Blaise Zabini, and the only last name Quidditch players Bletchley and Warrington.
All: We're the Deatheaters Who Don't Do Anything! We just lurk in halls and lounge around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you.
Blaise: We don't do anything!
Bletchley: Well, I've never tripped a Muggle, and I've never hexed a Mud- blood, and I've never placed a Weasley in the way of certain harm, and I've never lied to Hagrid, and I've never kicked a puppy, and I never got a Dark Mark on the arm!
All: 'Cuz we're the Deatheaters Who Don't Do Anything! We just lurk in halls and lounge around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you.
Warrington: We don't do anything. And I never bow to Malfoy, and I never hit on Pansy, and I never wrote graffiti just so I could raise alarm, and I've never mocked the Trio, and I've never hurt ol' Albus, and I never got a Dark Mark on the arm!
All: 'Cuz we're the Deatheaters Who Don't Do Anything! We just lurk in halls and lounge around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you we don't do anything.
Blaise: Well, I've never got a gender, and I'm not too good at Quidditch, and I've never sang a chorus of Old MacDonald's farm, and I've never kissed a kneazle, and I've never had a lawn gnome, and I never got a Dark Mark on the arm!
Bletchley: Huh? What are you talking about? What's your gender and Old MacDonald have to do with being a Death Eater?
Warrington: Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about Deatheater-y things!
Blaise: Oh.
Bletchley: And who ever kissed a kneazle? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?
Warrington: I think you look like Lord Voldemort.
Bletchley: Huh? No I don't!
Warrington: Do to.
Bletchley: Do not!
Warrington: You are making me frightened.
Bletchley: That's it, you're going under Cruciatus!
Warrington: Says who?
Bletchley: Says the leader, that's who!
Warrington: Oh, yeah? Well, let me bow down to you, Lord Voldemort!
Bletchley: Arg!
Warrington: Yikes!
Blaise: And I've never kicked a boggart, and I've never sniffed Ms. Bulstrode, and I've never wanted to live at Hogwarts as the primary schoolmarm, and I've never bathed in yoghurt, and I don't look good in leggings.
Bletchley: You just don't get it!
All: And we've never got a Dark Mark on the arm!