A huge thank you to all of you who reviewed. .

Platinum Rei, black kitten, TnTiggris, Angelgirl10, bffimage, Neko Yaoi, Imari

Cloud 1-3-5: Hey, the wobbly things are awesomes!

Tariki Rania: I didn't know that, but I like the word nai-nai better than waipo; it just sounds cooler (at least, to me) so, this being fanfiction, I shall take a few liberties and just keep it Nai-Nai. But thanks for informing me.

jak'idiot: It isn't a teddy bear Rei carries; I explained all that in chapter 2, or 3.

Winged Wolves: Plushies? Yay! Arigato huggles plushies

Ramen II;. Yes, Rei is cute when he's distressed. Glad you like Nai-Nai, and we have more Kai- angst this chappie.

Lost in the Shadows: I know about cutting because ...heh...I used to do it. Kai's cutting is based off my own.

Thanks again, guys. I really do appreciate the time you take to review instead of just reading and walking away. Oh, and the numbers, if they show up, are used as scene breakers, just so I don't confuse anyone.

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Rei lay curled up on the thick burgundy and hunter green quilt on his bed, his stuffed white tiger clutched to his chest as he cried into one of his fluffy pillows. He was still angry with his cousin. Why did Lee have to be such a jerk? Especially when he'd been relatively happy for the first time in a long time. He'd been enjoying himself with the blue haired boy wearing eye liner when Lee had to come in an make a big scene.

The youngest Kon growled and slammed a fist into his pillow, more angry tears falling. He wanted to scream; he had, infact. After the fiasco at the dinner table, he'd gone straight to his room, tossed Driger onto the bed, then used his arms to pull himself up, holding onto the wheelchair, steadied his weight upon his useless feet, then flung himself upon the bed as well. He'd buried his face into a pillow, and screamed.

He'd been sure Lee or Nai-Nai would sweep in and berate him for such a display, but he'd been left to himself, alone in his room. He'd been really surprised Lee hadn't come; Lee had been enjoying humiliating him. Rei accepted he needed help with some things, but his cousin treated him like a baby, just to rub it into his face. After the scene at the community center, the two had been ridden home in silence and greeted Nai-Nai stony faced. Rei had wanted immediately to go to his room and get out of that horrible wheelchair, but Lee, who conveniently had enough time to change out of his sweaty Taekwondo uniform, had said there wasn't enough time for Rei to put away his wheelchair, get his crutches, and be at the dinner table on time.

Rei grit his teeth and huffed, rolling onto his back and wiping at his eyes with the sleeves of his dark blue hoodie. His incredibly long, fluffy hair lay in tangled, silken waves about him; he'd tore his hair clip out and threw it. The plastic had clattered against the wall, metal springs, coils and plastic teeth breaking then landing silently on the sienna carpet.

He couldn't go on like this, taking his frustrations out on everyone else, and letting the others, especially Lee, affect him so. What had happened to the Nai-Nai's beautiful little ballerina, who was always poised, delicate, and in control? That Rei had died months ago, along with his dancing, killed by his father's knife. Now, he was...he really didn't know who he was. He was just Rei, a star falling before he'd ever gotten to rise, to shine, to fulfill his-Nai-Nai's – dreams. All of that, that talent, that promise, wasted, destroyed, and all he had left was a shattered, lost life.

But he could put the pieces together again. He could still fly. He'd just need someone to hold him. Rei scowled, then sighed. He had to go make amends with Lee, start cleaning up the emotional mess. Lee couldn't keep babying him as he did, and he had to start biting his pride and accepting, and asking for, help when he needed it. And Nai-Nai, she needed to see him for who he really was, not just her dream. He needed to talk to her, too, but it was impossible to talk to a stranger, someone who was ashamed of him. Ashamed of the reality behind the shattered dream.

Rei's vision blurred, but the tears were sad this time as that wound that had been with him ever since he'd woken up in the hospital and reality crashed down around his ears stung and started to bleed again. He wiped at his face then reached out for the tiger plushy he'd discarded, clutching it tightly, eyes closed, and choking back tears. His grandmother had given it to him the last time he'd danced. She'd been smiling, so happy, so proud of him. She'd given him a big hug and the plushy with a bow around its neck. That had been the last time she'd ever touched him, her youngest grandson. Now, she was distant; she treated him like a little, unknown child instead of her own flesh and blood.

His heart clenched, threatening to drown him in tears and sorrow. Rei gulped and sat up, scooting to the edge of the bed. He couldn't think of his grandmother now; he didn't want to spend the entire night crying. He did enough of that. No, he had to talk to Lee. Start putting the pieces back together.

6 6 6 6

Kai groaned, his body moving slightly, muscles tightening in protest. God, why did he hurt so much? His entire body was cramped, and cold, his legs and entire left side tingled, like he was being pricked with a million tiny needles. He moved a little more, and realized he had been sleeping, curled up against the hot tub, whose porcelain was cold as ice.

He shivered and began to uncurl, but his legs had fallen asleep from kneeling on them for so long. He sat down, stretching them out in front of him, twisted his back and felt relief when it cracked with an awful popping noise. He stretched his right arm, frowning when he noticed specks of blood on it, then did the same to his left.

His crimson eyes, the eye liner having streaked and left black trails on his cheeks when he'd been crying, widened in shock when he beheld the he'd done. Both of his forearms were a collection of healed, mending, and newly inflicted cuts, but his left looked as if a drunken butcher had had a party with a meat cleaver. His scars and scabs had been torn open; there was very little skin left intact, and in most places from elbow to wrist the thin cuts had banned together to form wide gashes. Some of them looked like they needed stitching. Small wonder he had passed out, and currently felt weak, sick and dizzy.

His mutilated forearm hurt so much it felt numb. It was covered in dried blood, which also left a rusty trail down into the hot tub. Kai winced at the thought of cleaning that up. He didn't want to; he just wanted to bleed, bleed until he bled away, until he died.

But that would make the old geezer happy, and Kai couldn't do that. He wanted to hurt him, hurt the old man and watch him bleed instead. He shook his head, raking his hand through his disheveled, spiky blue hair, the gel crispy and hard. Thoughts like that were what had started him on this downward spiral. He was lost in the dark recesses of his mind, where demons lurked, ready to rip his soul and sanity to pieces. He had to fight them back, suppress them. Freeze them. Become cold. Become nothing. Then, he couldn't be hurt. Then, he was safe.

He thought of the little Chinese boy. He, too, had had the sorrow of the world reflected in his eyes. He wondered what he'd been through, what horrors his eyes had seen. Perhaps he went through the same thing Kai did. Perhaps he could help him. Kai's lips twisted into a mocking smirk. Since when did he get close to anyone? No, it was much safer to be alone. The cold made him numb, then he couldn't feel pain. Couldn't feel joy or contentment, either, but it was a small price to pay.

Kai reached within him for that coldness, that blissful numbness to end his inner pain before his thoughts started to tumble over one another and he lost control, like he did a few hours ago after a vicious fight with his grandfather and a few hits from Voltaire's cane. His mind ran away from those thoughts, clinging to images of the Chinese boy playing the battered piano and singing a haunting song. Thinking of their almost shared duet. But that brought about thoughts of his grandfather, and his cane, and the boy's anger started to stir. No, he thought of the boy's sadness, his pain reflected in his haunting eyes, soft, lilting voice echoing in his head, soothing his anger and letting the sadness beneath seep through.

Confused by the rolling emotions of sadness and waning anger, Kai curled his knees into his chest, and buried his head in his arms, which were wrapped around his knees, dried blood from his hacked forearm smearing on his black jeans, and new ruby red droplets appearing. Voltaire's grandson and only living blood relative huddled in a ball, shivering against the cold porcelain on his bare skin, which had various shaded bruises along his ribcage and upper arms, and cried.

6 6 6 6

Lee was in the downstairs den, pacing back and forth before the cold fireplace, antique books from Nai-Nai's modest library carelessly thrown onto her well polished, heirloom side table. He was besides himself with fury, mostly at Rei, but, upon reflection, at himself. His hands were clasped behind his back, and he growled occasionally as he stalked up and down, staring at the carpet and deep in thought.

He just wanted what was best for Rei; Rei needed help, needed to be cared for. His younger cousin should take his assistance and quit throwing temper tantrums every time Lee tried to help. No, it wasn't every time; Rei hadn't fought him at night after waking from a nightmare, Rei let him assist him in getting dressed; it was only when he cosseted him that Rei showed his claws. Maybe he was pushing Rei too far...

Lee shook his head. Rei needed to be cared for. He most certainly needed help with many day to day tasks involving his feet, but... He sighed and slumped onto the couch, the old springs groaning in protest. He'd gone too far at dinner. His temper had gotten the best of him, and he'd cut Rei's fish, treating him like a child, to set Rei off. That had been immature on his part and had made his grandmother very cross with him. She hadn't opened her mouth once, but with one disdainful, upset glance, had given him an hour's worth of lecturing. Shamed and humiliated, he'd left the dinner table right after Rei.

Shame, humiliation. Two things Lee hated most in the world. He was an excessively proud and temperamental creature. As the oldest living male member of the family, it was up to him to see to the protection and well being of his relatives. His only family; Nai-Nai and Rei. And he hadn't been there for Rei when he needed him most; he hadn't been able to protect Rei from his father.

A soft, hesitant knock on the door broke through his thoughts. He ran a hand over his face, composing himself. "Come in." He was sure it was Nai-Nai, or the house maid, but the polished oak door creaked open, the tips of metal crutches appeared, followed by Rei as he pulled his body forward, the crutches bearing his weight and holding him up. "Hey, Lee." Rei smiled weakly, now that the moment of confrontation was here, feeling awkward. He looked down, his voice soft. "Can we...we need to talk."

Lee froze, unsure of what would make Rei so quiet around him. "Sit." He moved from the middle cushion to one by an armrest, quietly watching as his cousin slowly ambled over. His small body was engulfed by the tiger hoodi, and his baggy pants hid his feet, but Lee knew that to 'walk', Rei needed his foot and ankle braces on. His crutches clicked as his weight shifted, then he was sitting on the middle cushion, crutches on one side, his cousin on the other.

Both were still a bit mad at each other, and didn't know where things currently stood between them. Rei looked at his feet, hidden beneath his long jeans, letting his tangled raven hair fall forward like a knotted curtain of the night to separate them and Lee was busy meticulously lining the books on the stand.

It was Rei who spoke first, using his fingers to comb his hair. "We-Lee..you..." He paused and took a steadying breath. "You help me a lot; you mean well, but there are things I can still do for myself. And things I have to learn to do for myself."

Lee smoothed the well worn leather cover of the top book, his upper body partially turned from Rei. "I know. You're not ready for some things; you need help."

"I know." Rei gave a soft, sad smile and continued to work on his hair.

And it was as simple as that. It should have been a longer, deeper conversation packed with meaning, especially considering how anxious they'd been beforehand, and how much thought and emotion each had put into it. But it wasn't; it happened with that short exchange. They had fixed the rift, had started change. Funny how so hard and complicated a process can begin so easily, just with a few words and agonizing inner decisions.

6 6 6 6

The marble of the Jacuzzi was back to its normal sheen and without even a speck of blood. The blood smeared side was clean as well and the length of carpet at its base had a soapy wet spot from being scrubbed hard. Half the toilet paper rolls were gone, as were a few rolls of paper towels, and the poor toilet had been flushed so many times the sewage bill would probably make it into the Guinness Book of World Records.

The cause of all this lay upon his bed, in the same hoodi and gray, wide leg sweat pants. He felt drained, unable to move. And cold. He was thoroughly miserable after cleaning up. His pale face was sweaty, and he had a slight fever from blood loss then the strenuous activity of cleaning up his own blood. He had wrapped his forearm in heavy layers of gauze. It was stiff, heavy, and burned with pain. That arm lay bent on his chest. His eyes were closed, and he was falling asleep, his mind too tired, too worn from the internal battle, to think, to feel. He was blissfully numb; the feeling spread throughout his body until he slipped fully into its hold and was asleep.

tbc...

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review? please? chibi eyes