Title: All's Fair (in love and war)

Author: Kate Anderson

Spoilers: None. Zip. Zero.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Now consider yourself disclaimed.

*

She could throw it at him and blame it on the punk across the street who was pretending that he wasn't smoking something illegal.

Or she could just say that it was a freakishly large snowflake that fell from the sky and perhaps they should call up the world records people?

In any case, the snowball in Samantha Spade's hands was just itching to be thrown and the back of Jack's black overcoat was looking like a pretty darned good target.

Alright, punk across the street it was. The snowball, through no fault of Samantha's (of course) sailed out of her hands and landed square on Jack's back. Jack stopped walking and then very slowly turned around. Samantha had her excuse all prepared and carefully pointed across the street. "It was him." she said.

"The guy wearing the Santa hat collecting change for the homeless?" Jack asked.

Drat, the punk had taken off. Good for nothing bastard. "Yes," Samantha said and pretended that her gloves didn't have frozen bits of snow all over them. "I saw him do it!"

"Hmmm," Jack said. "That's not a very good way to entice me into donating."

"It's a shame," Samantha said. "Using scare tactics to get people to donate."

"Indeed," Jack said and turned around. He continued walking, hands stuffed into his pockets.

Samantha told herself that she wasn't going to pick up more snow but then she (quite accidentally) dropped a glove so she figured that while she was down there, it couldn't hurt to pick up more.

"If you're thinking of throwing that at me," Jack said. Samantha froze and wondered when Jack had gotten eyes surgically implanted on the back of his head. "I would seriously reconsider it."

"Throw what?" Samantha asked, hoping to sound innocent as she dropped the snowball on the ground and stomped on it with the heel of her boot.

"That snowball that you were making." Jack said. He was still facing away from her and alarmingly, his hands were no longer in his pocket. Instead they were gathering snow from the roof of a car.

Think, Spade, think! She had the tactical advantage. She could disappear, he had his back to her! "I wasn't making..." she said and then everything went cold and white.

"It's a great look, Sam." Jack said. Damn that man, she could hear the smile behind his words as she attempted to brush the snow from her eyes. "Very becoming."

"You'll pay for this..." she muttered and pushed a lump of snow from her now limp hair.

Jack stepped toward her, holding his hands up. "Should we call it even?" he asked, smirking as she licked her lips in an attempt to warm them.

"I think," she said. "That you should get me out of the cold and dry me off."

Jack, being the considerate man that he is, wrapped his arms around Samantha. "Mmmmm...." he murmured. "You are cold."

"And wet," she reminded him.

Jack nodded and pressed his lips to her neck. "I could arrange for you to be wetter..." he whispered.

Yes, Jack was a very considerate man. He never backed down on a promise. He kissed her and (hoping to all hell that the car didn't have an alarm) pushed her against the closest vehicle.

"Jack..." Sam murmured.

Jack scooped up a bit of snow from the roof of the car and then proceeded to make good on his promise. Samantha shrieked as the snow slid down her back. "Shhh..." he said and held a finger to her lips. "Someone might hear you."

Samantha searched her mind for an appropriate punishment. Shooting him was definitely out. As was kicking him in the balls. Instead she smiled in such a way that she hoped would scare him into thinking she had something up her sleeve.

"Come on, Sam," he said. "You got me, so I got you back."

"Twice, Jack. That's hardly fair."

"All's fair in love and war, sweetheart." he said. "I'll buy you a drink."

Samantha considered his offer and then nodded. "Okay but it had better be a good drink."

"The best."

Jack linked his hand with hers and started walking. Smart man, he was. Keeping a hold on her. Not quite smart enough though, Sam thought as she mashed a handful of snow onto his chest.