Chapter Three: [Note to Self: Think of Humorous Chapter Name Before Posting]
Neo's eyes filled with tears as Aphrodite's frail body was laid out on the Blammer's medical table. As two other crewmembers brought in Salmonella's body, he began to bawl, laying his head against Morpheus.
Morpheus patted his shoulder awkwardly.
"There, there," he said soothingly. Roland cleared his throat from behind them. They both jumped.
"What?"
"We need to focus. We need to find Niobe. We need her ship to defend Zion."
"Okay, let's start looking. Search every tunnel, every nook, every crack we know."
AK suddenly ran off to his room. Link glanced after him.
"Where's he going?"
"Probably to get his anal probe," Roland sighed. "He takes everything the wrong way."
"Hey, you have a call," Link said, starting towards the phone.
Aphrodite awoke in the middle of a large, white train station. A girl stood over her.
"Hello," she said. "I'm Sati."
"That's nice," said Aphrodite, standing up. "Where are we?"
"This is a train station," said Sati. "Are you from the Matrix? That's where we're going."
"Have you seen my niece?" Aphrodite asked, ignoring the girl.
"No. I don't like – "
Aphrodite walked away from the little girl. Sati ran after her, and Aphrodite tripped her and pushed her over the side of the train. She walked up to Sati's father.
"Who are you?"
"My name is Rama-Kandra," he said. "You are?"
"Aphrodite."
"I see," he said, gazing into her eyes. His wife smacked him on the back of his head.
"Ow! This is my ex-wife…Kamala."
"Ex-wife!" shouted Kamala.
"Yes," said the man, getting on his knees. "I wish to marry Aphrodite."
"Sorry," she said. "I can't accept it. I'm devoted to a life of celibacy ever since Agents killed my high school boyfriend."
"Really? They did that?"
"Yes, in fact toady is the anniversary of that death."
"Oh, no."
"Yes. So you see, I can't marry you."
"Dang. Well, Kamala…hey, where'd she go? And where's Sati?"
Salmonella found herself standing in the Oracle's office. The Oracle was sitting in a chair, smoking a cigarette and eating a cookie.
"Why, hello Salmonella. Didn't expect to see you here."
"I know," Salmonella said. "Time is short."
They heard a thump, and the lights inside the building began to go off. Salmonella closed the door. They heard footsteps coming towards them, and the door creaked open, and Smith entered the room.
"Granddaughter," he said. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"I know," she said again. "I've come to stop you."
She rose into the air and planted a foot in Smith's chest. Smith flew backwards, crashing into three of his copies. They helped him up.
"You'll pay for that, Missus Anderson."
He dashed forward and swung at her. She jumped backwards and grabbed a soup pot, flinging the scalding liquid into his eyes. He screamed in pain, and she brought down the pot on his head.
"Ah, shit," he said, falling down. Three copies entered, and Salmonella beat them back with the Oracle's cigarette, burning them in their eyes. They screamed and fell to the ground, clawing at their faces. Salmonella grabbed the Oracle by a hand and rushed away.
"Wait!" the Oracle cried. "I have to stay and be absorbed so I can help Neo defeat Smith!"
"Don't worry," Salmonella said. "I've got a plan."
Long after they had left, the Smiths got up from the floor.
"She is beautiful," said one.
"Let's find out more about her."
A train slowly pulled into the station. Neo got out and spotted Aphrodite, beginning to run towards her. He ran smack into a pillar and fell over.
"I meant to do that," he said. Aphrodite walked over and picked him up, carrying him aboard the train.
"It's okay," she said, stroking him. He began to cry uncontrollably.
"I thought I had lost you…" he said.
"I'm here now," she said, kissing him on the forehead. He fell into a deep, restful sleep as the train continued onward.
Salmonella opened her eyes onboard the Whammer to see that Aphrodite had already returned.
"What do we do now?" she asked, looking at Morpheus.
"We have to get back to Zion," he said. "Roland died under…mysterious…circumstances, and I'm in command now. So we return to Zion."
"No," said Salmonella.
"Why?" asked Morpheus.
"I need to go to the machine city," she said. "I know what I must do."
"I can't let you do that," Neo said.
"Daddy, stop trying to protect me!" she shouted. "I can handle the fire! I've got to go face Granddaddy, before he kills everything I've ever cared about!"
She began to cry. Neo, weakened by the sound of her tears, said, "Okay."
She stopped crying and threw her arms around him, kissing him. Such was her beauty and power that Neo found himself thinking unclean thoughts about his own daughter. He shook his head to clear it.
"Free your mind," he said to himself.
"What?" said Salmonella.
"Nevermind," he said. "Okay, you can go, but I'm coming with you."
The Bummer lifted off of the tunnel and began to fly away. Niobe was at the controls.
"We can take the maintenance pipe," she said.
"Bullshit," said Morpheus. "No one can get through those."
Niobe opened her mouth to speak, but Aphrodite stepped on her foot. As Niobe cursed, Aphrodite said, "I can. I've done it."
"Okay," said Morpheus, instantly believing her. She smiled, and he felt himself floating away. Then Niobe grabbed him and brought him back to Earth.
"Let's go," he said, gasping for breath. Aphrodite ran for the cockpit. Morpheus ran after her, ready to co-pilot. Ghost looked at Niobe and shrugged, heading for a gun.
Salmonella and Neo sat side by side. She pressed the start-up button, but the lights went off.
"Must be a fuse," Neo said. "I'll check it out."
"Okay," said Salmonella. Neo climbed down a ladder and found the fuses, which had mysteriously come out. He pushed them back in, and a strong arm grabbed him from behind.
"I knew she'd send her bitch first," came the voice of Bane. Neo slammed his shoulder into Bane's gut and ran up the ladder, hitting the intercom.
"Sal, it's Bane. He's psychotic!"
Bane grabbed him and dragged him back. He hit him in the nose three times. Neo coughed, spitting blood into Bane's face.
Salmonella appeared, running into the room. Bane let go of Neo and stared at her.
"You…" he said, going dreamy-eyed. "I love – "
Salmonella held out her hand.
"Stop, Granddaddy." Power flowed from her hand and struck Bane in the face. He slid onto the floor, grinning strangely.
"Let's go," said Salmonella.
The hovercraft rocketed through the tunnels, pursued by thousands of Sentinels. Aphrodite piloted the ship with her foot, while gunning with her other foot and checking her email with her hands. They came closer to the Zion gate, and Aphrodite sent frantic messages for the gate to be opened. It didn't budge.
As they neared the wall of stone, Aphrodite closed her eyes and pointed, feeling the Force flow through her. She moved her hand to the side, forcing the doors of rock apart. The hovercraft flew through the opening as the crew cheered.
Link ran forward for the EMP, but Aphrodite shouted for him to stop. She held out her hand and pure power flowed through it, striking the Sentinels and sending them to the ground. The waves of power flowed from one Sentinel to the other until they were all gone. Aphrodite landed the hovercraft.
"Great job!" Morpheus said. Niobe came walking in, clapping, as Aphrodite opened the doors to the hovercraft. The crew piled out onto the large path as the warriors cheered them on. Aphrodite accidentally tripped, and bumped into Niobe, who fell over the edge, screaming, but no one noticed.
Suddenly, Aphrodite gasped.
"Neo needs me," she said, closing her eyes and fading.
Salmonella and Neo walked through the rain-drenched streets of the Matrix. Smith walked out to stand in front of them.
"Mister Anderson, welcome back…" he began, trailing off as he spotted Salmonella.
"You!" he said, a tear leaking from his eye. He sank to one knee and held out a ring.
"Salmonella, I've only tried to kill you since seeing you, but already I am filled with love for you. Will you marry me?"
Salmonella nodded, pulling Smith up into her arms. She kissed him deeply. Light flowed through her lips, erasing every trace of evil there had ever been within the program.
Aphrodite appeared beside them.
"The Smith clones won't surrender without a fight," she warned. Salmonella nodded and the two rushed off to fight them.
Neo and Smith turned to each other.
"So…Dad…" Neo said. "I guess you're my son-in-law now, too."
"I guess," Smith said awkwardly.
"Yea…" said Neo.
Suddenly, one of the Smiths hit Aphrodite in the nose. She stumbled and fell backwards, landing in the rain with a crash. There was a rush of heat and light as a young woman took form standing beside Aphrodite's unconscious form.
She was Super Woman. For many years, she had lived inside Aphrodite, waiting until the right moment to reveal herself. She turned and faced the Smith copies, glaring with the hatred she was filled with. She lifted her hands and screamed, a wave of light washing the Smith copies away. Then she turned and picked up Aphrodite, bringing the rebel to her forehead. They both vanished.
The Architect stepped onto the curb and his foot snapped. He swore as he fell, his head hitting the sidewalk and cracking open. The Oracle laughed from nearby.
Aphrodite walked over and sat on the bench beside her.
"What happens now?" she asked.
"Even I can't see the end," the Oracle said. "You will have to make your own destiny."
Aphrodite nodded. She faded away, reappearing in a white room filled with monitors. She walked to the first one and began to change the Matrix, pouring her love and kindness into every code. All the animals stopped fighting, people stopped hating, and everything became perfect.
One month later, Morpheus, Link, Ghost, and Neo were gathered on the surface of the world to prepare for the wedding of Smith and Salmonella. Salmonella appeared, dressed in a pure white wedding gown. Smith walked in with his regular suit. They both walked towards Morpheus, who was acting as the priest.
As Neo watched his daughter and his father get married, a tear trickled down his face. Trinity was dead, and Aphrodite was gone. He had no one.
"Don't be so sure about that," came a voice from behind him. Neo whirled around to see Aphrodite standing there. He gave a cry of joy and leapt into her arms, burying his head in her hair.
Everything was finally all right.