"Please forgive me Kari, I tried," he whispered hoarsely, before he closed his eyes and drifted into a sleep from which he would never wake………

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *       

Kari heard a voice whisper to her whilst she was unconscious. Someone was begging her for forgiveness, in a pained voice. It sounded like her brother, but she was unsure of what he had to be sorry for.

"I forgive you Tai," she whispered back in her mind. She was still unconscious though, and she had no idea of what was going on around her. She just assumed that everything was okay as she couldn't really remember the accident, and continued to slumber in her unconscious state.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *       

When Kari regained consciousness she found that she was in a hospital bed. Her right arm was in a cast and it ached dully. Her head was pounding though, as if something had smashed into it and hard at that. On the other side of the room she could see her parents, each in a separate bed across from her. Her mother was pale and seemed to be sleeping. Her eyes were red and puffy, making it look like she had been crying. Her father was awake, one leg propped up in a cast. It looked like he had broken it. When he saw that Kari was awake, he smiled sadly, tears gathering in his eyes.

"Dad, what's going on? Why are we in hospital? Why are you crying? Where's Tai?" Kari asked all of the questions that popped into her head, not stopping long enough to give her father a chance to answer. At Kari's last question though, his tears started rolling down his cheeks and his smile had disappeared completely. Kari had a sinking feeling in her chest. "Dad? W-Where's Tai?" Mr. Kamiya just shook his head sadly.

"T-Tai didn't make it. H-He was killed in the accident," Kari couldn't believe what her father was saying. Tai, her kind older brother, bearer of the crest of Courage and the leader of the digidestined could *not* be dead. It was impossible. But after seeing the look on her father's face, she knew that he was telling the truth. Hot tears cascaded down her face as she took in the news, still trying to deny the truth to herself. Tai had been the strongest person she had known. How could she have survived the crash if he hadn't, when he was obviously stronger?

"Kari, are you alright?" she didn't answer her father's question, still too shocked over her brother's death. Instead she just closed her eyes and lay back again. She just felt like curling up into a little ball and crying her eyes out, but she didn't want to do that with people there to see her. She just contented herself with allowing her eyes to water and the occasional tear falling from her eyes. She couldn't believe that her brother, her guardian, was gone. At least now she knew what the whispered voice had meant. He had asked her for forgiveness because he was going to die. It still wasn't fair. Why did the Lord have to take away her brother, the only person who had been there for her all the time? She couldn't understand it. She was still agonizing over that very question when slumber overtook her.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *       

Kari and her parents had to stay in the hospital for a week before they were let out. Kari still wouldn't say anything, refused to say anything. She lived in a state of shock, only punctuated by her parents' worried looks or questions. Everywhere she looked at their house she found something that reminded her of Tai. And she couldn't take it. She hated living in the city that her brother had lost his life in, hated the feeling that she now had because of her brother's absence.

"Kari, your father and I have been talking and we've decided that we're going to move back to Odaiba. This place just has too many bad memories and we've only been here for two weeks. Do you mind honey?" Kari couldn't help but feel angry at her parents. Tai had only died because they had moved here, and now they were just moving back? Why had they bothered moving there in the first place? But Kari was also grateful to them at the same time. She couldn't handle all of the memories of that night… and if she continued to live there she would have to pass by the place of the accident everyday on her way to school.

"The only problem is that we're going to have to have Tai's funeral here. That means that we won't be able to go and visit his grave," her father added. Kari hated the thought of abandoning Tai here, but she knew that he would understand. She just nodded to her parent's statement and left the room, starting to pack some of her things into a box. She picked up the whistle that Tai had given her when she was three. She had always had trouble speaking when other people were around, so he had given her the whistle.

~FLASHBACK~

"Here you go Kari," a 7 year old Tai said, grinning his trademark grin. He was holding out a silver whistle that was on a pink string, so it could go around her neck, "Whenever you need to talk to me, are upset or just want attention, just blow this and I'll come. I promise you." Kari had taken the whistle and had placed it around her neck.

"Thanks Tai! I pwomise that I'll use it when I'm in twouble," she replied, giving her goofy brother a hug, "and I know that you'll come help me! You're the best big bwother in the world!" Tai had just grinned again and ruffled her hair lovingly.

~ END OF FLASHBACK~

Kari struggled to hold back tears as she placed the whistle around her neck. She abandoned packing the rest of her things and flopped on her bed, her hands over her eyes. She was alone in her room and the door was shut. She could hear her parents talking in the living room, probably about her. She let the tears flow from her eyes, knowing that nobody would see her cry. She fingered one of the long scars that ran along the outside of her left arm. That was all of the injuries she had been left with after the accident. A few scars on her arms and a bump on the head. Her mother was in the same condition as she was, and her father was only in a worse condition because he had broken leg. They had all survived with basically no injuries at all, whilst Tai had had his life stolen away from him. Kari had seen their car, or at least what was left of it, after the accident. The seat in which Tai had been sitting had been completely crushed; the roof was almost touching the material of the seat. The left side of the car was also crushed inwards and so Tai had basically been boxed in. The doctors had said that it was a miracle that he hadn't died on impact. In fact, he had lasted half an hour before he had finally died. And all Kari had been left with was a couple of scars. Life was so not fair.

Kari snapped out of her thoughts a few hours later when she heard something smash on the ground. It sounded like a plate, and she could hear her mother sobbing from the kitchen. She stood up and wiped the tears away from her eyes whilst she walked out into the kitchen to see her mother. Smashed on the ground was a picture frame. Inside it had been a picture of their family, but now the front of it was smashed.

"I-I was just packing a few things and this fell off," Mrs. Kamiya explained to her daughter after sensing her presence, "Do you remember the day this photo was taken? It was the family picnic last year, after you returned from the digital world. Tai was mucking around like usual and we were all having a good time…" she trailed off as her tears started flowing down her face faster and faster until she sat down on the ground and buried her head on her knees. Kari sat down beside her and took her by the shoulders. She picked up her whistle and blew it softly.

"That whistle……… you always loved it. You used that to speak sometimes, but only your brother could understand you," her mother continued as she tried to stop her tears, "We all tried, but…….. Oh, I can't believe that he's gone! My little angel. I'm just glad that I didn't lose you too Kari. I don't know what we would have done if that had happened." Kari's reply was to blow her whistle again, and this time her mother seemed to understand. "Yes Kari, I miss him too and I wonder why he had to be taken away from us. But I know that he is watching over us and that he would hate to see us crying. Come on Kari, we'd better get back to packing up again." With that the two Kamiya females got up off the floor and went back to their respective packing.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

Kari and her parents arrived back in Odaiba three weeks later, after attending Tai's funeral and packing again. Kari still hadn't spoken a word and the only way that she communicated was through her whistle, which her parents were beginning to understand the sound of. They weren't as good at understanding it as Tai had been, but at least they were getting there.

"Kari, you've got to get up! You have to go to school again today," Kari stirred as her mother's voice floated into her room. She didn't feel like getting up, didn't feel like facing people she didn't know, or those that she did. All she wanted to do was stay home away from anyone that may know her. But she couldn't do that. She got herself ready for school before going into the kitchen to get some breakfast.

"Good morning Kari, you ready for school?" Mari asked her daughter, knowing that it was going to be a tough day for her. Kari's reply was to blow on her whistle softly, as if she was saying that she didn't know. Mari just smiled and passed some toast to Kari, knowing that she would want to get to school on time on her first day. As Kari walked to school she couldn't help but notice things around her that reminded her of her brother. As she went past the park a soccer team was practicing, getting ready for their game on Saturday. It was only Monday, but they were still getting ready for the game.

~Flashback~

An 8 year old Tai was kicking a soccer ball around their shared bedroom, concentrating on keeping it under his control.

"Tai, what are you doing?" he looked up and grinned at his 6 year old sister, still keeping the ball under control. Kari came into the room, her whistle hanging around her neck.

"I'm practicing for my next soccer game," he replied, stopping the ball quickly before starting the game again. Kari watched for another few seconds, amazed at her brother's skill.

"Why are you practicing already? You only just played a game this morning and your next game isn't until next week," the pattern of black and white all blended into a blur for Kari as the ball rolled faster and faster. She found it fascinating that Tai managed to keep in under control and talk to her at the same time. She knew that she was lucky to have a brother as great as Tai.

"If I don't keep on practicing then I'll lose all of my skill. To be good at something, you have to practice. If you don't then all of your dreams will never be achieved. Well, that's what my coach said anyway. But remember that whatever you do, you have to enjoy it. There's no point in doing something that is optional if you hate it. If you want something badly enough, all you have to do is work hard and you'll get it, eventually," his concentration shifted back to the ball and Kari continued to watch him, thinking about what he had said. She hadn't understood it, but at least she listened……

~END OF FLASHBACK~

She shook her head to get rid of the memories, hating the fact that she wanted to cry.

'I will not cry, I will not cry,' she repeated in her head and her eyes stopped watering. She found that if she repeated the mantra over and over again in her head, the memories were kept at bay. The school wasn't very far from her apartment, so she arrived in less than five minutes. She had gone to this school ever since she was six, so the chances that she would know someone were very high. She knew that most of her friends would still be there, especially as she had only been gone for six weeks. Although she knew it was impossible, she just hoped that everybody would leave her alone. Like that was ever going to be possible.

"KARI! I thought that you had moved to England for at least two years? How are you?" as soon as she had stepped into the grounds of the school, one of her best friends, Steph, had already noticed her.

"Kari's back? Oh my God Kari! It's good to see you again! How have you been?" she was soon swamped by a group of her friends, hugging her and asking her all sorts of questions.

"Why are you back so soon? How was England, did it rain a lot? Did you and your family hate it there? Did..?" the questions went on and on, but Kari couldn't answer any of them. Even if she had been talking there was no time for her to reply. When the flow of questions finally dimmed down, Steph was unofficially elected question asker for the group.

"How are you Kari? You haven't said a word since you got here," Steph waited for a reply, but she got none, "Are you okay Kari?" Kari looked at the ground and tried to get away from them, knowing that they would only want answers. And she couldn't give them answers at that time. They let her go, knowing that something wasn't right. She went straight to the office and handed in the note that her mother had written for her, outlining to the staff at the school that Kari didn't speak. The principal, who had been walking in the door at the time, read the note with wide eyes. He had taught Tai back when Tai had been in year 2 and the principal had always admired his courage, even though he had found teaching him pretty tough.

"I understand Kari. I'll let your teachers know and they'll make sure that you won't need to talk. Is there anything I can do for you? I knew Tai too and he was one of my favourite students, even if he did play a few tricks on me now and then," he smiled as if he was caught in some memory of teaching Tai's class, but it was a sad smile. Kari shook her head at his question, before turning to exit the office, "Kari, I'm here if you need someone to help you." She nodded and left, not bumping into anyone she knew until she reached her classroom. It was empty except for one person. The one that she had been dreading to see the most. T.K. was sitting quietly at his desk, staring out of the window as if he was in a daydream. She tried to close the door quietly, but his eyes snapped to the door as if he knew someone was there.

"Kari? I thought that you were gone for two years! I mean, it's great to see you! How are you?" she looked past him, not wanting to look him in the eye, "Kari, what's wrong?" He could see that she was hurting over something, but he had no idea what. That's when he saw her arms.

"Kari, you didn't try to slit your wrists, did you?" Kari looked at him, confused, before she looked down at her arms. The scars that lined them looked like she had tried to kill herself. She shook her head madly, wanting him to know that she hadn't done that.

"Then what happened? And why aren't you speaking?" she stared at the ground, knowing that she would be unable to refuse answering if she looked into T.K's hope-filled eyes. And that would bring back her memories, which were already creeping back into her head. Just over there was the place where Tai had…

'NO! I mustn't remember! I must keep the memories at bay otherwise I will collapse into tears right in the middle of the classroom!' she desperately tried to think of some way to get out of the situation and luckily at that moment the bell rang and the students poured into the classroom, with their form teacher ushering the slower boys in. They quickly took their seats and Kari walked up to her new teacher and gave her the copy of the same note that she had given in at the office. Her teacher glanced over it, before she nodded.

"I have already been told of your situation Kari, I just need to tell the class. Do you want me to tell them the reason?" the teacher asked her quietly, so that none of the other students could hear. Kari shook her head quickly, not wanting to hear that her brother was dead once again. It was bad enough trying to live with the fact.

"Alright everybody, we have a new student, although I know that most of you know her, since she only moved away about a month and a half ago. For those of you that don't know, this is Hikari Kamiya. Now, before all of you that know her throw questions at her, Kari cannot speak at the moment. That is why she can't answer your questions. But please don't think that she doesn't want to talk to you, it's because of something else. Kari, would you please take your seat," the teacher kindly announced and she took a seat next to T.K, the only spare seat in the room.

"Are you okay Kari? I'm sorry about asking you questions before; I didn't know that you couldn't speak. But you could always write down what you want to say," T.K suggested, getting out a pen and paper. It was form period, so they had half an hour to either study, talk or do anything they wanted, as long as it didn't break the school rules and they stayed in their form room. Kari picked up the blue pen and hesitated for a second.

I don't really know what to write she wrote, unsure of what he wanted to know. She knew that there were some questions that he was going to ask that she wouldn't answer, but other than that she didn't know what to say anyway.

"Why can't you speak? And why do you have scars all the way up your arms?" she froze. They were just the questions that she didn't want to answer, but she couldn't refuse T.K's questions for too long.

I don't want to talk about it, too many memories. He stared at her answer, feeling suddenly afraid as of what happened to her. He could tell that she didn't want to talk about it, so he changed the topic.

"How is your family? Is Tai glad to be back here?" instead of making her comfortable, it just seemed to make it worse. She gripped the pen tightly and T.K could see that she was forcing back tears.

He's not here. I don't want to talk about it. That's where the bad memories come from. She wouldn't write anymore. She handed his pen back to him and opened up an English book, trying to hide her watering eyes. After a minute she found that she wasn't going to stop herself from crying. She stood up and went to the teacher's desk, hurriedly scribbling a note. The teacher nodded at the piece of paper and Kari left the classroom and rushed to the girl's toilets, where she locked herself into one of the cubicles and cried her eyes out. She had thought that she had cried all of the tears that she possibly could, but she had been proven wrong. After ten minutes she finally had stopped crying, though her eyes were red and puffy. She splashed her face with water, hoping that it would make her eyes less red, but it didn't work. The bell rang, pushing her thoughts away. She had to go to Science, and she knew that he would be in her class. She just didn't know if she would be able to refuse his questions again.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

"Kari, over here!" T.K called to her at lunch, calling her over to a certain table. To her surprise he hadn't questioned her again, a fact that she was grateful for. He was sitting by himself at the table, and Kari felt the dread rising in her. This school went from years 7 through to 12 and they all had lunch at the same time. That meant that the other digidestined would be there and they would all question her. She could already see Matt and Izzy making their way to where T.K was sitting and she started to feel sick. Still, she didn't want to lose the digidestined as her friends, as much as this lunch would hurt. She made her way over to the table and sat next to T.K, still the silent ghost of the person that she used to be.

"Kari? You're back? But if you're here where's…" Matt was cut off by a sharp look from T.K.

"Kari can't talk at the moment. I don't know why, she wouldn't tell me, she told me that he is not here," Kari looked down, hating the fact that T.K was explaining things to Matt. She should be the one explaining things. She took out a pen and some paper from her bag and quickly scribbled something on it.

Tai won't be coming here. He's still in England. What she had written was technically true, Tai was still in England. Well, at least his body was. His spirit had fled the world a month ago, or so she believed.

"Why would he stay in England whilst you moved here? Your parents didn't divorce, did they?" Matt asked, watching Kari for a reaction.

No, both of my parents are here with me. Tai is just in England. No more questions please. Bad memories. T.K read the message and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. He knew what had happened now, it all fit together.