WEDNESDAY, 5 JULY
1905 ZULU
OB/GYN CLINIC
BETHESDA NAVAL HOSPITAL
BETHESDA, MARYLAND

Harm looked at his watch for what seemed like the hundredth time and wondered what was taking so long. It was just a simple blood test. How long could it possibly take to come back from the lab? He sighed in frustration as Mac squeezed his hand gently. They had rushed back from Beallsville that morning for an afternoon appointment at Bethesda, only to have to wait for the test results to come back.

"You know, looking at your watch every few seconds is not going to make the results come back any faster," she teased.

"Aren't you anxious?" he asked. She seemed so calm about it all. Harm was temped to ask her how she did it.

"Harm, I'm so tied up in knots the butterflies in my stomach have butterflies," she replied. "It scares me that the home test might have been wrong, that this isn't real."

"Hey," he said, putting an arm over her shoulders and pulling her close, "if it is, we'll deal with it. Remember, we weren't exactly expecting this to happen quite this soon."

"I know, it's just that as much as I have said I wanted this," she explained, "I never truly realized just how much until we suspected that I might be pregnant. I just want it to work out."

"I know, Ninja Girl," he said softly, pressing his lips to her temple.

"Colonel Mackenzie," a nurse called out from the door leading back to the doctors' offices.

"I guess this is it, Flyboy," Mac said as they both stood and headed for the nurse. She led them to an exam room at the end of the hall and ushered them inside.

"The doctor will be in to examine you in a few minutes," she told Mac. "There is gown behind the screen for you to change into."

"Does that mean the test is positive?" Mac asked nervously.

"The doctor will talk to you when she comes in," the nurse said as she left the room, closing the door behind her.

"Oooh!" Mac exclaimed in frustration as she went behind the curtain to change. "At least she could have told us the results."

"Just a few more minutes," Harm reminded her. "Anyway, would the doctor want to do an examination if you weren't pregnant?"

'Just a few more minutes,' he says, Mac thought as she pulled the hospital gown on. Wasn't he the one who couldn't stop looking at his watch? As she came out from behind the table and climbed up on the exam table, she answered, "How would I know? I've never done this before, remember?"

Harm pulled one of the stools in the room up next to the table and sat down, taking one of her hands in his. "Listen to us," he joked, "we're driving ourselves crazy here. Maybe we should take a deep breath and try to relax."

"You relax, Flyboy," she retorted. "I'm staying on pins and needles ..."

"Colonel Sarah Mackenzie?" a woman asked from the now open doorway, startling them both. Neither had heard the knock at the door which had signaled the doctor's presence. "I'm Commander Lisa Calder. And you are, Sir?"

"Commander Harmon Rabb," he replied, his grip on Mac's hand tightening. They were so close now. Mac looked down at him and smiled.

"Well, Dr. Calder, what's the verdict?" Mac asked, her voice slightly shaking. Please, God, she thought.

The doctor smiled widely at them as she simply replied, "Congratulations."

"Thank God," Harm whispered in relief as Mac leaned over to kiss his forehead. "We're going to have a baby."

"I know," Mac whispered back, tears glistening in her eyes, releasing a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

Dr. Calder stood to the side and waiting. Confirming a pregnancy was often overwhelming for the parties involved and many needed a moment or two just to deal with the new reality of their lives. So she busied herself studying Mac's chart, her back to the couple to allow them a moment of privacy.

"Um, Doctor?" Mac asked nervously after a minute. "So what now?"

Dr. Calder turned back around and pulled up the other stool to the edge of the exam table, Mac's records in hand. "I'll go over a few things with you, try to answer any questions that you have and do a pelvic exam just to make sure there is nothing to be concerned about," she replied. "According to your chart, the first day of your last period was 16 May, correct?"

"That's right," Mac confirmed.

"That would place conception around Memorial Day, give or take about forty-eight hours," Dr. Calder told them.

"That would be about right," Mac said softly, looking down at Harm as she remembered that glorious weekend when they had finally become one.

The doctor cleared her throat. "Okay," she continued. "That would make your due date around 20 February 2001. Of course, only five percent of babies are born on their due dates, so we could be looking at maybe a week or more in either direction."

"So just about any time from the middle to end of February?" Harm mused. "Makes a nice Valentine's gift, doesn't it, Ninja Girl?"

"Around Valentine's Day?" Mac replied. "I'd like that."

"Before we move on to the exam, do you have any questions?" the doctor asked.

"About a million of them," Mac said. "It's kind of hard to know where to start."

"That's understandable, particularly in the case of first pregnancies," Dr. Calder said. "If it helps, maybe you might want to make up a list of questions. As more questions come to you, you can write them down to ask at your next appointment. Or if you have friends who have children, that is always a good resource."

"A very good friend of ours is expecting her second child in November," Harm said.

"That's good," the doctor replied. "Although every woman is different, it helps to be able to talk to someone who is going or has gone through this before."

"What about work?" Harm asked. "There tends to be some travel involved in Sarah's job – both of our jobs, actually. Are there any limits to how much she can travel?"

"What is it that you do, Sarah?"

"I'm a lawyer at JAG Headquarters in Falls Church," Mac replied. "Sometimes we have to travel on investigations, although we do spend a fair amount of time in the office and in court."

"We?" Dr. Calder asked, puzzled.

"Sorry, Harm and I are partners at JAG," Mac explained. "We usually travel together."

"One of the most important pieces of advice that I can give you is to listen to your body," the doctor explained. "If you don't feel well, or something feels uncomfortable, then don't do it. I can't tell you for sure how you will react to being on a plane or a car trip. As a general guideline, if your pregnancy progresses normally, there is no reason why you can't continue to do the things you are used to doing within reason. Later in the pregnancy, you may want to cut back on the travel, but we'll play that one by ear. When you are in the office, you'll probably want to get up and walk around a little bit every couple of hours just to keep the circulation going."

"Okay, I think I can live with that, although I think the submarines and aircraft carriers will be out for the duration," Mac teased, shooting Harm a look.

"What are you looking at me for?" Harm exclaimed. "If I had my way, you would take it easy as much as possible for the next eight months."

"I'm a Marine, Harm," she reminded him. "I can handle it."

"Which brings me to another point I like to make with expectant parents," the doctor interrupted. "One of the most important things is to keep the lines of communication open. There are going to be a lot of changes in your lives and it's important that you are both open with your feelings. You might not always agree with each other, but talk about it.

"Okay, that's enough of the psychology pep talk," she continued as both Harm and Mac laughed nervously. They knew they still needed to work on issues with communicating. It had been the root of most of their problems. "Why don't I go ahead and examine you, just to make sure everything is fine. I'll also do a pap smear so we can rule out any infections or other problems."

After the exam was finished, Harm staying by Mac's side the entire time, they walked out of the hospital holding hands. "This is really happening, isn't it?" Mac asked in awe.

"It is," Harm replied, placing his free hand over her stomach. "It's like a miracle, everything that has happened over the last few weeks."

"I never thought that anything could be this perfect," Mac said, then laughed. "Listen to me, I'm getting all mushy and sentimental again. Harm, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" he asked, concerned.

"How do you feel about keeping this to ourselves for a while longer?" she asked. "Your family already knows and I would really like to tell my Uncle Matt in person if possible. We do need to tell the Admiral as soon as possible, since this will have an effect on work. But I'm not sure I want to tell all our friends just yet. I'd like a little time to get used to all this before we let the rest of the world in on this."

"Even Bud and Harriet?" he questioned. "You know, Dr. Calder said it would help to have someone to talk to who had been through all this."

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "I would like to be able to share all this with another woman and I don't have many women friends. But on the other hand, I kind of like the idea of this just being between us – for the most part, anyway – for now."

"We don't have to decide that now," Harm pointed out. "We can talk about it some more. When do you want to tell the Admiral?"

"As soon as possible," she answered. "If this does get out, I don't want him finding out through the grapevine like last time. Maybe we should call him and see if we can meet with him this evening. That way we can keep it out of the office for now."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," she stated. "Why don't we call him on the cell phone when we get back to the car?"

"We're there," Harm pointed out as he fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the passenger door.

"I wasn't paying attention," Mac said in surprise as she climbed into the SUV while Harm walked around and got in on the driver's side. Looking at her for a long moment, he picked up his cell phone and dialed the Admiral's number at JAG.

After a brief conversation, he clicked off the phone and told Mac, "He suggested we meet him at his house at eighteen hundred hours."

"His house," Mac said, taking a deep breath. "I'm not sure I'm ready for this."

"I'll be there with you," Harm reassured her.

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2155 ZULU
ADMIRAL CHEGWIDDEN'S HOUSE
MCLEAN, VIRGINIA

Harm rang the doorbell while Mac shifted on her feet nervously. He gave her a reassuring smile as the door opened to reveal Sydney Walden. "Harm, Mac, how nice to see you," Sydney exclaimed. "What brings you by?"

"We need to meet with the Admiral," Harm told her as he clasped Mac's hand. "I hope we're not interrupting anything."

"He's not home yet. Would you like to come in and wait?" Sydney asked, holding the door open for them.

"Thank you," Mac said as she followed Harm into the house. "It's pretty important that we speak with him."

"I can make myself scarce if you'd like," Sydney assured her as she led them into the living room, "if you'd like some privacy when you speak with AJ."

Mac considered. Her resolve to not tell anyone was weakening. It would be nice to have someone to confide in. Of course, she did have Trish and Gram, but they were in California and Pennsylvania respectively. Plus, Sydney was a doctor. "No, it's fine," she finally replied as Harm shot her a puzzled look. "It's nothing top secret."

"Are you sure?" Harm whispered as they sat side by side on the couch.

Mac nodded to him as Sydney asked, "Would either of you like something to drink?"

"I'll just have some water, thanks. Harm?"

"No thanks, I'm fine," he replied. After Sydney went into the kitchen to get Mac's drink, he asked, "What happened to not telling anyone aside from the Admiral?"

"I know what I said," Mac tried to explain, "but I've been thinking about it and I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't talk about it. I don't know if I can keep it a secret. I'm sorry, I know I should have talked to you about it."

"Don't worry about it," Harm laughed. "I can understand about the wanting to explode part."

When Sydney returned, it was with AJ in tow. "Harm, Mac, it's good to see you," AJ greeted them as he sat down. "How was your vacation?"

"It was ... interesting," Mac said, smiling. "Actually, something happened while we were gone that we need to discuss with you."

AJ was puzzled. They both seemed excited about something, but a quick glance at Mac's hands revealed no engagement ring, although he knew that didn't necessarily mean anything. "What is it?" he asked.

"Well, Sir ..." Mac began nervously, trailing off. It was one thing to say you were ready to reveal the news, another to actually do it. With an encouraging smile from Harm, she managed to continue, "I'm pregnant."

A smile spread over Sydney's face, but she said nothing, waiting for AJ to react. He looked from Harm to Mac, then finally said, "I see. And when is the baby due?"

"20 February," Harm answered, "give or take."

"And how will this affect your duties?" he asked, his voice neutral.

"I haven't been sick, just more tired than usual," Mac told him. "The doctor said everything looks fine. As long as everything continues to go well, she said there isn't any reason why I can't keep up my normal schedule within reason. I just need to make sure I get plenty of rest. Some things should probably be out, however – aircraft carriers, submarines, things like that. Mostly, the doctor said I should just go with whatever feels comfortable."

"You will keep me informed, Colonel," AJ told her. "If you feel the need to cut back, let me know immediately. You will not overdo it, understood?"

"Yes, Sir," Mac said.

"Well, then," AJ continued, "I supposed congratulations are in order, Harm, Mac." He smiled at them warmly.

"Thank you, Sir," Mac said as Harm relaxed visibly beside her. He had been getting a little concerned about their CO's reaction.

"Yes, congratulations," Sydney echoed, smiling also.

"Thank you," Harm said. "We're very happy about all this. We just wanted to make sure, Sir, that you found out about this from us, rather than from office gossip."

"I can understand that, after the last time," AJ said. "Speaking of our earlier conversation, I should let you know that I have had a few 'hypothetical' discussions with the SecNav."

Oh, boy, Harm thought. The SecNav was hardly one of their biggest fans. "And?" he asked.

"The details have yet to be finalized, but I reasonably sure that something can be worked out so you both can remain at JAG," AJ replied. "I may owe him for his for the rest of my career, but ..."

"We'll owe you, Sir," Mac finished as she looked at Harm.

"Exactly," AJ confirmed. "I did leave out names, but he did say 'This is about Rabb and Mackenzie, isn't it? I've been expecting this.'"

Harm and Mac both laughed. "I guess we really were transparent," Harm said, "if the SecNav saw it ..."

"So are you planning to keep this to yourselves for now?" Sydney asked.

"We're still discussing that," Mac answered. "This is a lot to get used to. We've been discussing keeping it quiet for now."

"Well, if you need anything, please let us know," Sydney said. "We'd like to help in any way we can." AJ nodded his agreement.

"Thank you, Sydney, Sir," Mac replied.

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Continued in Can't Fight This Feeling Chapter IV – Cold, Dark Winter's Night