Chapter 13: In Which Several Couples Form, Expectedly and Unexpectedly
Author's Note: Deepest regrets that this has taken so long to update. I meant to write more while flying to and from a conference in Athens, but one way and another that just didn't happen.
Some of the lines Richard says below draw on his meeting with Monica in 6,23.
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"That's it, huh?" said Chandler dolefully. "No regretful but fond farewell, no 'it was great while it lasted' or anything, just, she never wants to see me again? That's all she wrote?"
He was sitting with Rachel in Central Perk in the early evening, and she was passing on Joanna's last words.
"I'm sorry, honey," she said, looking at him sympathetically. "Part of it was, she was upset about Sophie shafting her so neatly, I guess, and you were mixed up in that, so I guess she wasn't thinking good thoughts about you."
"Well, it's not the end of the world," he said a bit heavily. "I mean, she was fun, but … I don't think we could have gone on, not after Janice's performance. You know, that kinda surprised me. Why did she set out to antagonise Joanna that way?"
"I think she, um, didn't like Joanna making it so obvious that you were with her, in a way that was, um, aimed at me," said Rachel, a bit uncertain how Chandler would take this.
"That's what she was doing?" said Chandler in surprise.
How blind men can be to what's going on, Rachel thought.
Chandler's face changed suddenly. "Why should Joanna think you'd care?" he said slowly. Then he sat bolt upright, looking excited. "Rachel, please be honest with me. When we kissed that time, I thought you might really care for me. But then you seemed to go back to being just friendly, like we always were. Do you," he seemed to dry up, swallowed, then continued with a resolute look, "do you have feelings for me?"
"Boy, you have started being upfront with us," said Rachel lightly. "Straight to the point, first with Monica, and now me. Well, actually, Chandler … to tell you the truth …" – she smiled at him softly as he sat forward on the edge of his seat, clearly desperate to know the answer – "I sort of do."
"You do?" he said, reaching forward to take her hands. "You really do?"
She nodded. "It hurt a lot, when I heard you were with Joanna. That's when I knew for sure."
"So … can we date?" he said, his eyes now showing blazing eagerness. "Please may I take you on a date?"
"Chandler, of course you can," she said, her smile growing to a beam. "I guess we'd better wait for the others, but … I have no plans for the evening."
Chandler got up and moved to sit next to her on the couch, putting an arm around her affectionately. She snuggled against him, suddenly feeling an intense rush of happiness. She did not for the moment care whether this would go anywhere in the long term. She had something that she had been wanting badly.
Observing them, Gunther winced slightly. He had been trying to adapt to the idea of a world in which Rachel could not conceivably become interested in him, so it did not hurt as much as it would have done once. But it still hurt.
Chandler and Rachel had just got comfortable when Janice entered Central Perk. Looking around, she saw them and seemed to freeze for a moment. Rachel thought she saw a look of pain in her eyes and made to move away from Chandler, but he clung onto her and Janice shook her head vigorously.
"No, no, Rachel, you stay right where you are," she cried. "You look good together." She advanced to stand in front of them, smiling in an indulgent sort of way. "I see that Joanna is out, and you are in."
"Well, yeah," said Rachel, rather embarrassed.
"Was it because of what I did?" said Janice, sitting down opposite them. "Because I came to apologise to Chandler for that, for putting him on the spot. But I was so mad! It was all directed at her, not at you, Chandler, I swear."
Chandler smiled a little and nodded. "The breakup with Joanna was … more complicated," he said. "But thanks for the apology. I can always use them."
Janice did a brief rendition of her laugh. "You always did like your little jokes. Well, enquiring minds want to know … do I get to hear all the gory details?" She opened her eyes wide and raised her eyebrows in a parody of unbearable curiosity.
Rachel could not help laughing. "Go on, Chandler, tell her," she sputtered. "It's quite funny, really."
Chandler smiled in a slightly strained way. "You do it – but keep it short, okay?"
Eagerly Rachel leaned forward. She had been longing to tell the whole story to someone. "Well, Janice, it was like this …"
Joey was next to enter Central Perk, at a moment when Janice was showing her delight at the denouement of Rachel's story by throwing her head back in a full-throated laugh. This was not of the usual machinegun variety, but a rich chuckle that was curiously attractive. But Joey had already realised something: if you could get past the voice and the laugh and the mannerisms, Janice herself was attractive. Grinning, he advanced.
"Hi there, Janice!" he said cheerfully, then, leaning in with a more intimate tone, "How you doin'?"
"Joey!" cried Rachel and Chandler reproachfully, but Janice did not seem bothered. She returned Joey's look with bright-eyed boldness.
"Joey, I'm doin' jest fine," she said in an 'out West' accent, then, in her own voice, "you wanna get a coffee and cookie or something? I'll buy."
"Great," said Joey enthusiastically. "Come up to the counter and let's see what's on offer."
Chandler looked after them with open mouth. "Joey and Janice?" he breathed to Rachel. "Wonders will never cease."
"Well, I hope she isn't building any long term hopes on it," said Rachel. "But on Joey's side, it's not so surprising. He really seemed to take to her after she did her number on Joanna."
"The fallout from that episode has been entirely positive, so far," said Chandler, smiling at her fondly and taking her hand.
Presently, Joey and Janice came back, Joey with a plate piled high with goodies, Janice with two big cups of coffee. She sat at the other end of the couch from Chandler and Rachel, Joey in the chair next to her, and they proceeded to lay into the goodies together, already giving each other fairly intimate-looking glances.
For a while, Rachel was content to relax and enjoy being next to Chandler, but her mind refused to go into neutral. Finally she made a decision.
"Janice, come to the restroom with me," she said. "I'd like your advice on something."
Looking rather mystified, Janice followed her willingly enough.
When they got there, Rachel turned. "That was just a blind. Look, Janice, you do know what you're getting into if you get mixed up with Joey, don't you?" She tried to look as serious as possible. "He's incapable of staying interested in the same woman for more than about two weeks – a month, tops. And, and, well, I don't want you to be hurt, not after what you did for me with Joanna."
Janice beamed at her. "Thanks for worrying about me, sweetheart. But don't trouble yourself, I know exactly what I'm getting into. Lorraine is my friend, remember? She gave a very good report of Joey, and I'm thinking, well, if he's interested, why not have a little fun, which in my case is definitely overdue?" She winked.
Rachel could not help it; she just had to hug her. "It's so good I'm getting to know you properly," she said to a surprised but pleased-looking Janice. "You go at life head on, don't you, to get as much out of it as you can? Just promise me one thing: if you let it get that far, take Joey back to your place. It might upset Chandler if you were next door, even though it's over between you, and now he's interested in me."
"I will certainly do that," said Janice, grinning broadly and returning the hug with interest.
They returned to the main room, to see a startling sight. Bonnie was standing there with Pete in front of Joey and Chandler, who were looking most uneasy.
"Hi, Rachel, Janice!" she said vivaciously. "I just thought I'd drop by and say hello."
Rachel sighed as she approached and took a deep breath. "Bonnie, didn't Phoebe get in touch with you?" she said in a tone that came out as exasperated.
"Um, yeah," said Bonnie, suddenly looking wary. "Look, I know you may be feeling a little mad at me right now, but – "
"A little mad?" Rachel exploded. "Bonnie, what you did to Ross was unpardonable! Okay, so you felt aggrieved about the way you split up. But you know perfectly well – and now he knows, too – you were already losing interest and trying to set up other stuff behind his back!"
Bonnie went pale. "Rachel, for God's sake," she stammered. "Please don't say any more about that." Involuntarily, so it seemed, she darted an apprehensive glance at Pete beside her. His expression remained totally inscrutable.
Rachel savoured the moment, on Ross's behalf, but decided that she had said enough – or almost enough. "I'm sorry, Pete," she said, turning to him, "but Bonnie's not welcome here any more." She heard Bonnie give a little gasp.
Pete nodded. "Okay, I understand. Give my regards to Monica, and tell her I'll drop in some night for a meal, so she can put up a Le patron mange ici sign if she likes." He grinned. "She'll let Bonnie in, won't she, if I pay for her?"
"Well, I guess so," said Rachel, rather taken aback at his casual attitude. After all, he had just heard general but clear references to Bonnie's bad behaviour towards a previous boyfriend. Had he not understood? She looked at him worriedly.
"Fine," said Pete. "Bonnie, would you wait for me by the door? I just have a word to say to these folks that's not for your ears."
To Rachel's surprise, Bonnie meekly obeyed him, with a backward glance at Rachel that seemed to show pain. Pete looked around them when she was out of earshot and grinned widely.
"Don't worry, I know precisely what I'm getting into with Bonnie," he said. "But she will do very well, for now." He might have been speaking of an automobile, serviceable but not really what he wanted. "You don't begrudge me a little fun, to help me get over Monica, do you?"
"Oh Pete, had you really fallen for Monica again?" said Rachel sympathetically.
He shook his head. "I might have done, if Richard Burke had not shown up almost immediately. It's easy to see, she's far more interested in him than in me, though she tried to hide it that night. I'm not bitter; I hope it works out for her. See you again some time."
He nodded and walked briskly to the door. Rachel noticed how submissively Bonnie seemed to act towards him and completely revised her mental picture of the relationship. It no longer seemed very likely that she had seduced him, even if it had appeared that way to Phoebe; rather, he seemed almost to have commandeered her.
As she watched them, Bonnie threw her a last glance through the window that seemed to show real regret. Despite herself, Rachel gave her a marginally friendly nod and wave. Bonnie could have made a friend, she thought, and years from now, she might be happy to meet her again, but at present she felt too mad to want to see her any time soon.
It could not have been more than thirty second later that Ross and Phoebe walked in.
"We just passed Pete and Bonnie!" Phoebe cried. "Boy, did she look down. What happened? Had they been in here?"
Before anyone else could speak, Janice said, "Yeah, and Rachel sent her about her business very smartly. You may find this hard to believe, Ross, but Rachel must think highly of you, to be so mad on your behalf."
Ross beamed at Rachel, but his beam faltered when he took in how close she and Chandler were to each other.
"Have you, um …?" he said tentatively, looking at Chandler.
"Yeah, sorry, man," said Chandler, exuding self-satisfaction. "We're gonna date."
"Oh wow, that's so great!" cried Phoebe, almost jumping up and down in excitement. "At last you've got together." She turned to Janice. "Hi, Janice, and how are you?"
Janice smiled in a very relaxed way and sang, "I've got to admit, it's getting better, a little better all the time …" She glanced at Joey in an affectionate and also slightly possessive way. Phoebe followed the direction of her glance and giggled.
"Suddenly, love is all around," she said. "Well, I wonder how Monica is doing?"
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It was the best part of three hours later that a waitress told Monica that a customer wanted to compliment the chef.
"Bring 'em on!" cried Monica ebulliently. She was still on a complete high from being boss of her own restaurant, with a friendly and competent staff, and was hyped up even further by the fact that the restaurant had been almost as full all evening as on her first night.
The "customer" proved to be Richard. Her heart seemed to jump in her chest, and she could feel herself flush deeply, as he smiled his old loving smile at her. She reached back to steady herself on the counter; her knees seemed to have lost all power to hold her up.
"That was a great meal," he said, "though anything you cooked would be great. But that's not what I came here to say." he paused, looking suddenly serious.
"What did you come here to say?" she croaked.
"That I still love you. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I have ever done, by a considerable margin. After meeting you again, and taking you home last night, I knew that if I didn't tell you I'd regret it for the rest of my life."
"B-but, but, but," she stammered, "you know why we broke up. Have you," she swallowed, "changedyourmind?" she shot out in a rush. Please please please let him say yes, she prayed to the god she sometimes believed in, and never more strongly than now.
Richard looked at her gravely, then a broad smile spread across his face. "Yes," he said simply. "I want to have kids with you."
Monica could not help it; she burst into tears. Immediately others began to converge on her from all over the kitchen.
"I'm all right, I'm all right!" she cried, then "Oh Richard!" She flung herself into his arms, laid her head on his chest, and spent a moment of bliss in his embrace, feeling home at last, where she felt safe and protected and right. Then she recalled her responsibilities, and pulled away gently.
"The evening's not over," she said, "but I should be out of here in an hour."
"Make that half an hour, at most," said the head waitress from the doorway, beaming at her. "All the main course orders are in, and we'll be able to handle the rest on our own."
Monica looked around, to see faces smiling at her everywhere.
"We could see how much he meant to you yesterday," said a sous-chef.
Monica looked at Richard appealingly. "I don't know how you're gonna take this, after all the fuss I've made. But now I've started with my own restaurant I'm not in such a hurry to have children any more. Can we wait a year or so?"
Richard just went on smiling. "No problem. We've got to get married first, anyway, and I'd like to have you to myself for a while, before I hear the patter of tiny feet again. But we shouldn't leave it too long; I'm not getting any younger."
Monica swung on his arm, gazing into his eyes, as excited as a teenager. "I don't know how I'll get to sleep tonight."
His smile deepened. "I could do something about that."
She could not stop smiling. "Okay, so, you'll wait for me? Order anything you like, on the house. I'll be out just as soon as I can, I promise."
"I'd wait for you for ever," he said, bending down and brushing her lips with his.
The kitchen staff sighed in unison.
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Rather later that evening, as she sat in the apartment with Chandler, Phoebe and Ross, Rachel received an ecstatic but barely coherent call from Monica. She made out that Monica was at Richard's and not to be expected home that night.
"Oh great!" she cried with maximum enthusiasm, jumping up and punching the air. "Mon, I'm so pleased for you! Guys, Monica's back with Richard!"
A united cheer greeted this announcement. More babbling was heard from the phone.
"Yeah, we're all here except Joey," Rachel said. "He's off with, guess who – Janice! And I'm, um, well, I've sort of hooked up with Chandler."
A delighted shriek came from the phone, causing Rachel to wince and hold it away from her, looking at it reproachfully. Then the babbling resumed.
"Okay, Mon, yeah, tell me in the morning," said Rachel, attempting to stem the flow. "Yeah … yeah … yeah. See you then."
She put the phone down and beamed at everyone. "Richard's changed his mind about kids, but she's gonna run the restaurant for a while before starting a family."
"That's great," said Ross sincerely. "Well, Pheebs, it looks like you and me are the ones left on the shelf." His grin belied these gloomy words. "But actually, I have a date tomorrow with Cheryl, a very cute blonde Cenozoic specialist who's studying in the Museum. I've invited her to dinner."
"I can get a date any time I want," Phoebe riposted smartly. "And I can get you a date too. Just you remember that, Ross Geller."
"But not another like Bonnie," said Chandler mischievously.
"No," Phoebe agreed, grinning, "not like Bonnie, unless specifically requested."
"Well, let's see how things go with Cheryl first," said Ross. "I have considerable hopes there."
"What's Seenozonkic, anyway?" Rachel asked. "And if you're a cute blonde, why should you bother studying it?"
Ross smiled at her genially. "Cenozoic, Rach. It's the recent period geologically, when mammals became the dominant creatures, the modern continents formed, all that. And as for why study it, well, people just get interested in things – even cute blondes. And if you're smart enough, you can get taken on at a university to do a doctorate, like Cheryl."
Rachel shook her head in apparent amazement. "And what will she do after that?"
"Try for a position in a university department or a museum, like me, I guess."
"Do they appoint cute blondes?" Rachel pursued, showing considerable scepticism.
"If they're smart enough, and look like being good teachers and researchers, and impress the appointing panel, sure," said Ross. "Come on, Rach, you don't think all university and museum people are unattractive geeks, do you? I'll bet there were some professors who looked hot to you when you were at the U."
"Um, yeah," said Rachel, blushing a little. "Okay, point taken." Rather quickly, so it seemed, she turned the conversation elsewhere.
Ross grinned to himself. He suspected Rachel might have had a liaison with one of her professors, the way she reacted, but he was not going to try to ferret out her secret. He sat back in relaxation, thinking how he was going to have fun showing off Cheryl to the gang. She had to be the most attractive woman he had ever dated, except perhaps Rachel. For a moment he felt a little melancholy. It was going to be hard getting used to the idea that there might not even be the possibility of Rachel any more. Because if Chandler had any sense, he would hold onto her very tightly indeed, and he would have learned from Ross's own mistakes. It was slightly harder to imagine Rachel sticking with Chandler, but by no means impossible, if Chandler could get over his commitment phobia. He had practice at that, with Janice.
He felt eyes upon him, and looked up to see Phoebe, grinning gently. She leaned forward and said quietly, "If the worst comes to the worst, we can always marry each other if we're still single at forty."
"You'd marry me, a committed scientist?" he said, honestly amazed.
"As long as you didn't beat me over the head with your beliefs … yeah," she said. "You have a lot going for you, Ross, if you'd only realise it. I wouldn't have hung around with you and Monica and Chandler if I didn't think highly of you all, despite your faults." She grinned. "And I know I have a few of my own. Good luck with Cheryl, anyway."
"Yeah, I think she'll mark an interesting new departure for me," he said. "Someone I don't really know at all, when I'd known Rachel all my life, and Julie from grad school. I can't help suspecting she'll have a few surprises in store for me."
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Author's Note: And that seems as good a place to end as any. For anyone who doesn't know/remember, Cheryl is the "dirty girl" of Episode 4,6. But don't feel sad for Ross; I'm sure he will find someone in his own good time, and the others too – even Joey! I don't want to answer whether he will find something in Janice that has eluded him with other women, whether Chandler and Rachel will endure as a couple, or whether Gunther will find happiness. But I do firmly predict that in this Friends continuum, Monica and Richard will get married and have children, and that Richard will live to a healthy and vigorous old age under Monica's loving care.