I give you, directly from Seto Kaiba himself [my clone,
anyway], Seto's Guide to Dissing People. Written by a master
disser, you should have no problem being disrespectful to
people you don't like, random people you don't know, and/or
people seemingly dissier than yourself.
Seto: This was basically put together after I met geeks like Yugi; I just didn't think to put it up until now.
D T-2: He gave it to me, and I show it to you. Though I have to translate it for "Dummies" out there. ________________________________________________________
Getting Started
The first thing you do is gather the supplies that you will need in order to diss properly.
- Bakura's Book of Threats by Bakura and Jessica Messenger of the Devil; There are valuble ideas in there. You'll probably end up using alot of them as backup for threats in this book.
- Tons of money (from the country of your choice); for intimidation.
- Dead-sexy good looks; for intimidation and fangirls/guys. If you don't have any, use the money mentioned above to get plastic surgery.
- Lots of wealthy-person stuff; you gotta have something to backup the idea you're rich, like a mansion and servants and limos and junk.
- Media attention; used properly it can get you out of tough jams and make your opponent look like the idiot they really are. But be careful, the tables can turn either way.
- Physical skills; this is absolutely optional. It doesn't matter if you can slice a rock open with a wooden sword or not, but it would make you more intimidating.
Note: Even if you don't have ninja moves or whatever, you must, must must must, NOT look like a geek. Ask yorself, "Would I succomb to a bean pole with a pizza face?" I think not. If this does apply to you, look at numbers 2 and 3 of the supplies on your list.
- Brains; for outsmarting/dissing/humiliating your opponent. Yes, you need an IQ higher than road pizza to safely diss people; or at the very least the IQ of a beaver.
- A dictionary; to forcefully use smart-people words, such as abulia, eurypterid, and superfecundation. -) *winkwink, nudgenudge*
- A book of witty comments, containing sayings like, "If that's what you do to an opponent, I'd HATE to be your friend!" and, "Is that your dog? Oh, wait, it's just *name target's best friend*."
- A comedian's book; this, too, is absolutely optional. A book of this kind, though, is pretty much filled with smart- alicky remarks, which will come in handy later.
- A tape recorder; for practicing growls, threats, evil laughs, etc.
If you do not readily have the supplies needed, buy them with your vast sums of richness. If you don't even have an adequate amount of money, use the schemes in Bakura's Book of Threats to become filthy rich (as myself, though I got my sums of richness from legal inheritance by death of stepfather).
Do you now have all of the necessary supplies needed? Including the dead-sexy good looks? Good, now we move on to the first lesson...
Lesson One: Look and Sound Menacing
As is obvious, we start with the basics. For this lesson, you will need a mirror and the tape recorder. If you don't have a mirror; what kind of mansion are you living in? You cheapsteak |-P.
Now, look into the mirror and practice the ever-easy "hauty" look. Yes, that's right, "the hauty look", putting down people is easier if you believe that you are better than anyone else, and trust me; if you have tons of money that automatically makes you better than anyone, unless they have more money than you which means you aren't rich enough [FYI: Give up now you'll never be as rich as me].
If you have the hauty look; you're looking at everyone like you know something they don't and smirking about it. Got it? Now say something into the tape recorder, something like, "It's a good thing you're only temporary help, because you absolutely SUCK at this!" And say it like you really mean it. And for crap's sake, use the hauty look with this, there's nothing stupider than someone who says that and looks like they want a pretty pink pony for Christmas. Practice the look in combination with the saying until you get it just right (when you feel inferior to the mirror and tape, then snap back when you remember it's you), then try it out on a plumber or someone.
As soon as you have successfully given random repairmen bad days, we can move on to the next lesson, Building Up Your Image.
Note: Make sure that the repairmen are actually men. Men can take mouthing off, whereas women have sensitive feelings and cry easily; and you don't want to go softie on your first lesson.
Exercise: For future combos with various insults, dissrespectfull glances, and so-called "evil" looks; gather some movies that heve the old "good guy vs. bad guy" plot. These movies are chock-full of character dissing towards the hero, and will give you a good idea of what to look for in a target.
Seto: This was basically put together after I met geeks like Yugi; I just didn't think to put it up until now.
D T-2: He gave it to me, and I show it to you. Though I have to translate it for "Dummies" out there. ________________________________________________________
Getting Started
The first thing you do is gather the supplies that you will need in order to diss properly.
- Bakura's Book of Threats by Bakura and Jessica Messenger of the Devil; There are valuble ideas in there. You'll probably end up using alot of them as backup for threats in this book.
- Tons of money (from the country of your choice); for intimidation.
- Dead-sexy good looks; for intimidation and fangirls/guys. If you don't have any, use the money mentioned above to get plastic surgery.
- Lots of wealthy-person stuff; you gotta have something to backup the idea you're rich, like a mansion and servants and limos and junk.
- Media attention; used properly it can get you out of tough jams and make your opponent look like the idiot they really are. But be careful, the tables can turn either way.
- Physical skills; this is absolutely optional. It doesn't matter if you can slice a rock open with a wooden sword or not, but it would make you more intimidating.
Note: Even if you don't have ninja moves or whatever, you must, must must must, NOT look like a geek. Ask yorself, "Would I succomb to a bean pole with a pizza face?" I think not. If this does apply to you, look at numbers 2 and 3 of the supplies on your list.
- Brains; for outsmarting/dissing/humiliating your opponent. Yes, you need an IQ higher than road pizza to safely diss people; or at the very least the IQ of a beaver.
- A dictionary; to forcefully use smart-people words, such as abulia, eurypterid, and superfecundation. -) *winkwink, nudgenudge*
- A book of witty comments, containing sayings like, "If that's what you do to an opponent, I'd HATE to be your friend!" and, "Is that your dog? Oh, wait, it's just *name target's best friend*."
- A comedian's book; this, too, is absolutely optional. A book of this kind, though, is pretty much filled with smart- alicky remarks, which will come in handy later.
- A tape recorder; for practicing growls, threats, evil laughs, etc.
If you do not readily have the supplies needed, buy them with your vast sums of richness. If you don't even have an adequate amount of money, use the schemes in Bakura's Book of Threats to become filthy rich (as myself, though I got my sums of richness from legal inheritance by death of stepfather).
Do you now have all of the necessary supplies needed? Including the dead-sexy good looks? Good, now we move on to the first lesson...
Lesson One: Look and Sound Menacing
As is obvious, we start with the basics. For this lesson, you will need a mirror and the tape recorder. If you don't have a mirror; what kind of mansion are you living in? You cheapsteak |-P.
Now, look into the mirror and practice the ever-easy "hauty" look. Yes, that's right, "the hauty look", putting down people is easier if you believe that you are better than anyone else, and trust me; if you have tons of money that automatically makes you better than anyone, unless they have more money than you which means you aren't rich enough [FYI: Give up now you'll never be as rich as me].
If you have the hauty look; you're looking at everyone like you know something they don't and smirking about it. Got it? Now say something into the tape recorder, something like, "It's a good thing you're only temporary help, because you absolutely SUCK at this!" And say it like you really mean it. And for crap's sake, use the hauty look with this, there's nothing stupider than someone who says that and looks like they want a pretty pink pony for Christmas. Practice the look in combination with the saying until you get it just right (when you feel inferior to the mirror and tape, then snap back when you remember it's you), then try it out on a plumber or someone.
As soon as you have successfully given random repairmen bad days, we can move on to the next lesson, Building Up Your Image.
Note: Make sure that the repairmen are actually men. Men can take mouthing off, whereas women have sensitive feelings and cry easily; and you don't want to go softie on your first lesson.
Exercise: For future combos with various insults, dissrespectfull glances, and so-called "evil" looks; gather some movies that heve the old "good guy vs. bad guy" plot. These movies are chock-full of character dissing towards the hero, and will give you a good idea of what to look for in a target.