Hakkai considered himself to be a fairly patient person. It took more than ordinary patience to tutor a student who was more interested in food than math, to keep house with a roommate who didn't believe in ashtrays or dusting, and to act as a chauffeur on a journey where he only had the vaguest notions as to where they all were going and why. In fact, Hakkai had come to pride himself on his patience just a bit--what with the constant bickering, swearing, and the occasional ring of gunshots, he thought he did pretty well over all.

He was not feeling very patient at the moment.

There was an open book in his hands, but he had been staring down at the pages without really seeing them for well over an hour. Hari's infirmary had been empty of any other occupants for far longer than that. The corridors beyond were silent--even with his enhanced youkai hearing, Hakkai heard no other sounds outside the confines of this room. Due to the scope of the battle with the crazed demons, the sane youkai hadn't even bothered to leave him with a guard. Hakkai doubted that there was anyone left in this part of the mines at all, save for the children and the elderly who were hidden away in some secret, well-protected spot. The emptiness, the sense of isolation, was oppressive. It was difficult being the one left behind.

Hakkai was trying very hard not to think about what was going on outside the mine. Goku, Gojyo, and Sanzo were all expert fighters, their abilities honed by over a year of near-constant attacks. But strength and speed and talent hadn't stopped them from being injured in the past. Even the least skilled of their adversaries could get in a lucky hit now and again. Hakkai wouldn't be right there to patch the three of them up if they needed it once the fight was over. He sincerely hoped they would remember that.

Minutes ticked by. He was still staring blankly at the same page of the book in his lap, when the first of the wounded arrived.

A demon with a poorly bandaged head-wound was carried into the room, comatose. Winged youkai that Hakkai hadn't even seen before this scrambled to push the chairs and table back against the wall to make space. They ignored Hakkai's presence completely as they unrolled straw mats on the floor and laid the grievously wounded demon in front of the hearth. No sooner had they set him down when a second casualty was brought in. Conscious, but only just barely, with several deep, bloody wounds and a tourniquet fastened around her left thigh. A youkai woman ran for the workbench, frantically opening several drawers before she found the rolls of bandaging.

It was at that point that two winged demons came in, carrying Ruri in a sling.

Because he was a healer, Hakkai's heightened youkai awareness picked up the wounds without even needing to see them--from Ruri's collapsed lung, to the jagged skull fracture with internal bleeding beneath the scalp of the unconscious demon nearby. ...Even to the minor gashes and abrasions of the youkai tending the injured, and the deep puncture wounds in the shoulder of the demon hovering helplessly in the hallway beyond the door. None of them had left the battle unscathed, but it was the ones laid out side by side on the floor that were worst. Hakkai knew that those three wouldn't make it unless Hari arrived to heal them right away.

Hari didn't come bustling through the door to take charge, however. What poked through the archway instead was an unmistakable pair of red antennae, followed by more red as Gojyo ducked into the room. Hakkai felt no small amount of relief as he noted that this one member of their party was uninjured, at least.

"Goku? Sanzo?" he asked anxiously, as Gojyo approached, stopping beside Hakkai's pallet.

"Fine," the redhead answered tersely. "They're with Wei in another part of the mine. Sanzo's got the last piece of your limiter, too."

Hakkai allowed himself a faint sigh of relief on both counts. "And the battle?"

Gojyo shrugged. "I guess you could say that they won. That nutcase leader of the crazy group got locked away, anyhow."

"That's good news, I suppose."

Hakkai turned his attention back to the winged demons hovering over the injured. He frowned. They were doing their best to clean and bandage the terrible wounds, but mere first-aid wasn't enough in a situation like this one. It was painfully obvious they didn't have the least idea of what they were doing. At this rate, their patients would die within the hour.

The fact that they were even trying told Hakkai more than he wanted to know. There was an atmosphere of desperation to their actions. It was clear that their healer wasn't coming back.

An inquiring look over at Gojyo confirmed just that. The other man simply shook his head, looking grim. What Ruri had said earlier must be true. Hari had taken care of all the injured in this underground youkai town. If she was gone, the winged youkai no longer had anyone with medical knowledge to help the wounded and dying.

On the heels of that revelation, the decision to act came with surprising ease. Hakkai had been recuperating now for several days, and a quick check verified that although broken bones still weren't yet healed, his youkai constitution had bounced back with incredible speed. His ki was restored to nearly normal levels. In his current form, his full youkai power unfettered by the absence of his limiters, he didn't even have to move from the pallet. He simply leaned out over the edge, gingerly placing his palm against the cool, rough granite of the floor.

A hand fell on his left shoulder, fingers digging deep. Not to support, but clearly to restrain. "No," Gojyo growled. "No fucking way am I gonna just stand here and watch you do that freaky vine shit of yours. Are you out of your friggin' mind? Did you somehow forget that you almost died a handful of days ago? Forget it, Hakkai. Not this time."

Hakkai tilted his head up to meet Gojyo's eyes. Really, by now Gojyo should have known better than to argue with him once his mind was made up. That single look was enough to cause the redhead to fall silent, the restraining hand flinching away from Hakkai's shoulder as he uttered a single frustrated "Ch!". He dropped heavily down to sit at the bottom of the straw pallet, crossing his arms over his chest to glare in the opposite direction. "Fine. But when our precious Sanzo-sama shoots you for draining away your ki and causing him more delays, I won't lift a finger to stop him."

Those words made Hakkai hesitate, caught in a sudden wave of guilt. Sanzo had been unusually tolerant, of late. It really wasn't very smart of him to push his luck. Nonetheless, it didn't change the fact that these winged youkai had saved him, not so long ago. It wouldn't be right to do nothing, when it was in his power to repay them for what they had done. "Sanzo isn't here at the moment," he observed. His fingertips again brushed the floor.

The winged youkai didn't notice anything at first, as the flat green vines uncurled where Hakkai touched the granite, snaking their way over the surface of the stone. They didn't notice as the tendrils slid soundlessly across clothing and under pale gauze, the vibrant green a stark contrast to the crimson of freshly shed blood. Stems that seemed no more than two-dimensional shadows criss-crossed open wounds, tightening and binding them closed, while leaves draped torn flesh like bandaging.

None of the winged youkai noticed...until the vines began softly to glow. Faint and flickering at first, then gaining strength and intensity as Hakkai used them as a conduit for ki. The woman tending Ruri dropped the ceramic bowl she was holding with a gasp, slit pupil eyes lifting to stare at Hakkai in shock. He had no concentration to spare for her or any of the others, however. His attention was fully focused on the four sets of injuries visible so clearly to his mind's eye. Four sets? But of course, the glowing vines were still wrapped around his own flesh as well. He felt the warmth of ki energy sinking into his chest, his arm, his leg, repairing damaged muscle and knitting together shattered bone...even as it alleviated the pressure of internal bleeding inside a skull, replenished lost blood and sealed up a slashed artery, and restored full function to Ruri's punctured lung.

It was over in a matter of minutes. Hakkai allowed the vines to unwind from the still forms of the now-peacefully-slumbering youkai. The shadowy tendrils returned to him without conscious effort, reeling back in of their own volition, like the crescent of Gojyo's Shakujou. It was only after they had settled back into their customary places against Hakkai's skin that he once again became aware of his surroundings. ...Of the quiet murmuring of winged youkai, and of at least four sets of slit pupil eyes staring at him with something like awe.

He realized that Gojyo had been right. Even Hakkai's youkai constitution could not allow him to heal four people simultaneously without cost. The ki that he had been storing so diligently for the past few days had faded to barely more than a dim flicker. The surge of dizziness left in its wake nearly caused Hakkai to overbalance. Nnh. It was only the presence of a firm set of hands wrapping around his shoulders and pushing him backward onto the pallet that saved him from pitching headlong to the floor.

"Idiot," he heard Gojyo mutter, as darkness spiraled up to meet him. Hakkai had a single moment to reflect on the probable truth of that statement, before he passed out for the second time in under twenty-four hours.

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"I should shoot you, you know."

The voice was unmistakable, as were the words. Hakkai opened his eyes to find Sanzo looming over the pallet. His expression was grim, mollified only by the fact that he was currently indulging in a nicotine fix to soothe his nerves. "You do realize that your stupid little stunt has cost us two more days."

Hakkai knew it was no use to point out that they'd been traveling west for over a year now. In the grand scheme of things, two days or even a week made hardly any difference at all. Gingerly, Hakkai sat up. For the first time since he'd fallen from the cliff, there were no lingering protests from his injuries.

"I hate to disagree," Hakkai said mildly, as he unlooped the sling from over his head. It was no longer needed, nor were the splints, if he were careful for the next week or so. "But my 'stupid little stunt' as you put it is going to allow us to leave here with four individuals who are fit to fight, rather than three people and an invalid."

"Ch. If you consider yourself fit to fight, you're delusional." Sanzo was holding a familiar bundle of green and tan cloth in his arms, which he dropped into Hakkai's lap. "We've wasted enough time. For the next few days, you're sleeping in the back of the Jeep. Get dressed and collect your things. We're leaving this place immediately."

"You have the last limiter with you, then?"

Wordlessly, Sanzo held it out to him. The tiny piece of jewelry changed hands, and Sanzo took one last drag of his cigarette before tossing the filter into the fire. "Be quick about it. I'm going to collect the other two idiots, and you'd better be ready by the time I get back."

"Yes, of course."

Two of the injured youkai that Hakkai had healed were already gone from the infirmary. However, as his eyes followed Sanzo out of the room, he saw that another pallet had been moved in and set up beside the door. Ruri was lying on it, awake and watching him.

She waited until Sanzo was gone before she spoke. "It seems I owe you an apology," she said quietly, her slit pupil eyes sober. "And a thank you, for saving my life."

"Please don't worry," Hakkai answered, his tone reassuring as he slipped a talon under the wrappings securing the splints on his arm and casually sliced them apart. "Considering the situation I would have been in if you hadn't found me and brought me here, I think we've evened the score."

"Yes." After a long moment, Ruri sighed, turning her gaze upward to study the ceiling. "I wanted to hate you, you know."

"Ah?" Hakkai pasted a polite, inquiring smile onto his features. He waited patiently, and she continued.

"Yes. We've been hanging on here for so long, doing our best to preserve our clan and our identities against the hopeless situation of fighting off the Minus Wave. When Hari recognized what you were--realized that you had slaughtered a thousand of our kind...I did hate you. I thought you didn't deserve to be alive, when so many others had died."

Hakkai looked down at his hands, flexing his youkai claws absently around the blankets. "Well, I can certainly understand why you would feel that way. If I may ask, what exactly caused you to change your mind?"

"The words of your priest," Ruri replied. "Because what he said was correct. And...and also finding out the truth. That you were the one who killed Hyakugen Mao."

Hakkai was silent for a long moment. "Your sister told you that?"

"No. You did." Ruri turned her head to look at him. "I think...I think Hari must have guessed it from the beginning. But I didn't realize until you mentioned a date. Four years ago, you said. That matches well with the rumors that we heard, at that time. ...That in a single night, a human man alone with no help from anyone else, murdered a thousand youkai."

Hakkai looked away from her, staring into the fire. He did not speak.

Ruri continued. "We'd heard of him, back then. Hyakugen Mao. Our mine was far from his castle, but even here, the stories of his brutality were well known. It may surprise you to learn that the name of Hyakugen Mao was not loved in this youkai community. By all accounts, he used and mistreated everyone, youkai and human alike. And yet, not one of our kind moved to stop him. He bullied and stole, raped and killed, all without fear of retribution, because there was no one to stand in his way."

She stopped then, and neither of them spoke for a long minute. The only sound in the room was the crackling and popping of logs in the fire.

"I just wanted to say that I understand now," Ruri's voice was hesitant, barely audible above the faint rushing noise of the flames. "...That the blood of those past murders is not yours alone." She met his startled gaze with a sad, almost rueful little smile. "It's obvious that a large share of the blame lies with all the youkai who knew the truth about the centipede king and did nothing. If the youkai in power at that time had acted to stop the situation...then maybe you wouldn't have had to."

Hakkai couldn't mask the surprise in his expression, momentarily at a loss for words. "Ruri-san..."

"I don't know if you can forgive me for the way that I acted earlier. I don't really think I deserve forgiveness, myself. But people can learn from their failings. You can be assured that I won't make the same mistake twice."

Hakkai gave her an appraising look. "You're very like your sister, you know," he murmured gently.

She glanced over at him in surprise. Then she frowned. "You think so? Others have said so before. But I don't see it."

"It's there." Hakkai shifted on the straw pallet, leaning over to claim the two pieces of his demon power limiter from the bedside table where they lay, glimmering against the dark-grained wood. For a moment he gazed down at the three silver bands resting against his vine-marked skin. Then he raised the first clip to his left ear.

"Don't."

Hakkai paused, taken aback by the unexpectedness of the outburst, the sharp tone of Ruri's voice. "I beg your pardon?"

Ruri was avoiding his eyes, gazing up at the ceiling again. There was a faint hint of a flush to her pale cheeks. "Please," she said. "Stay. I was wrong. You don't belong out there. You belong here, with your own kind. You should stay."

Hakkai had to work very hard to keep the odd mixture of resulting emotions from showing on his face. He was surprised that she would even offer, and oddly touched at this final acceptance of what he was. At the same time he thought that perhaps she didn't really understand what she was suggesting. Hakkai knew that he could fit in here if he had to, the same way that he could make himself fit in to a human town. But the true place for him was the path he had already chosen--a pilgrimage to atone for his sins, and traveling companions that included two other itan.

She must have sensed some of his reluctance, for tears began to gather in the corners of her eyes. "We've lost so many to the madness already. And your skills would be needed here. We have no healer anymore..."

Ah.

Hakkai was sympathetic to her plight. As acting clan leader she now had a heavy burden to shoulder on her own. However, it was not his place to make her burden lighter. He had pledged his services to another cause, after all.

"I'm sorry," he said, as kindly as he could. "But there are people who are counting on me. I'm afraid that I really do have to go."

She closed her eyes. From her resigned expression, she seemed to have been expecting the answer. After a moment, she gave a tight little nod into the silence. In the absence of further discussion, Hakkai reached up and clipped the limiters back into place on his ear.

There was a rush then, a flux of power as the limiters exercised their control. His senses dulled, he felt weaker and slower. But he didn't mind at all, because for the first time in seven days, he felt like himself again.

He became aware that Ruri was staring. She had the oddest expression on her face. At his inquiring look, she shook her head. "It doesn't suit you," she said. "You looked better the other way around."

Sanzo returned shortly after with the others in tow. Hakkai had changed into his regular clothes by then, while Ruri tactfully turned her head away towards the wall. Hakkai slipped his monocle, damaged in his fall from the cliff, into the pocket of his pants. He would have to get it repaired as soon as he could. He cast one last, faintly regretful glance at books remaining behind on the bedside table, then turned back towards the others, ready to go.

Goku and Gojyo were arguing already. Hakkai noted that each of them was carrying plastic grocery bags in their hands. As Sanzo glowered at both of them in warning, Goku broke off and turned to Hakkai with a broad grin. "Look!" he said, holding out a bag. "It's food for our trip! Some of the youkai here just gave it to us, 'cause of the people you healed!"

"Yep," Gojyo drawled. "We'll be eating mushrooms for weeks, now."

"Shut up," Goku replied. "At least it's food. Those mushrooms aren't half bad, anyhow."

"I heard that you were leaving," said a familiar voice, and Wei ducked in through the door. He sounded slightly out of breath, as if he'd been running. "I'd have liked to walk you all up to the mine entrance myself. However, my son…he got very upset about his mother and has gone missing. I'm afraid that I won't be able to see you off properly, after all."

The words earned him anxious glance from Ruri. She opened her mouth, but before she could speak, Wei gently waved away her concern. "Don't worry. He won't go far. He never does. I'm sure that he's hiding somewhere nearby. However, I'd better go find him to make sure." He turned to Sanzo and bowed respectfully. "I just wanted to say that it was an honor to make your acquaintance, Holy One. Best of luck on your journey."

"Hn," was all Sanzo said...but Hakkai noted that he inclined his head marginally, all the same.

"The rest of you, it was a pleasure to meet you." He seemed to direct the words to Gojyo especially, which made the half-youkai look oddly uncomfortable for a moment. "Take care." Then Wei turned back through the doorway and hurried out of sight.

They took their leave after that, Jeep flying in front of them as they headed back up towards the entrance to the mine. It was the first time that Hakkai had put weight on his legs in a week, and he found to his dismay that although the newly-healed breaks held, the bones were still far from top-form. Walking was a bit difficult. He was forced to brace a hand against the side of the tunnel for support. As a result, he lagged far behind the others before they'd gone even twenty paces down the hall.

He was concentrating so hard on putting one foot in front of the other, that he nearly ran face-first into a leather-jacketed chest.

"Oi," Gojyo said, taking Hakkai's left wrist and draping it over his own shoulder. He'd already passed his grocery bags off to Goku. "Lean on me, or we'll never get outta here."

The rest of the tunnels were largely deserted. It seemed that any of the winged youkai who weren't injured themselves were busy caring for the wounded or their new captives. Goku plowed ahead through the echoing corridors, obviously eager to be back out in the sunshine and fresh air. Sanzo followed, casting impatient glances back over his shoulder once or twice as Gojyo and Hakkai limped along. By the time they reached the grotto with the waterfall, the monk and the monkey were no longer in sight.

A chance glimpse of something in the cavern made Hakkai hesitate just a moment. Gojyo stopped, having seen it as well--a flash of bright crimson, nearly masked behind the leading edge of the falls. Gojyo glanced over at Hakkai. "Wait here a sec," he said.

Hakkai looked at him with some surprise, then obligingly reached out to lean on the rock wall. Gojyo stepped away from him and entered the large cavern on his own.

Hakkai had no way to tell what Gojyo might have said to Wei's son under the masking noise of falling water. But after a few minutes, when Gojyo stood up from his crouching position, Ichiro wiped at his eyes and followed. He trotted back across the cavern in Gojyo's wake, stopping only when he caught sight of Hakkai standing there in the doorway in human form. Crimson eyes widened as his mouth formed a little 'Oh!' of surprise.

Hakkai smiled at him reassuringly, the same smile that he'd given the boy before. It seemed to help, for he saw Ichiro relax a bit, and tentatively return the expression.

"Okay. Well...bye," Ichiro said, ducking his head shyly and sketching an abbreviated bow in Gojyo's direction.

"Hey," Gojyo said, before the kid could scamper away. "Be good for your dad."

The boy turned back momentarily, his expression slightly bewildered. "Huh?"

Gojyo didn't look at him, instead staring at the wall of the tunnel as if he had suddenly developed a deep fascination with the rock. "You're lucky, you know," he commented in an offhand way. "...To have a guy like that. Some kids never have the chance to really get to know their dads. So don't give him a hard time, okay?"

A hesitant smile crossed the young features, making Ichiro suddenly look older than his years. "Yeah. Thanks, onii-san."

Hakkai lifted an eyebrow as the boy hurried away from them, down the hall and deeper into the mine. At his speculative look Gojyo fidgeted a bit. "What?" the other man said, and Hakkai thought he sounded a bit defensive about it.

"Onii-san?" Hakkai asked curiously. "Not ojii-san?"

Gojyo snorted. "Get real. I'm not old enough to be an uncle."

Hakkai hid a smile. Never mind that at twenty-three years of age, Gojyo was closer to being an uncle than a brother to a four year-old. He tactfully dropped the subject.

Jeep had already transformed and was waiting for them by the time they reached the entrance of the mine. A bit further beyond, Goku was scrambling over some rocks, chased playfully by Wei's brown dog--who had apparently been left as the sole guard to the mine. The air was filled with the sounds of delighted laughter and enthusiastic barking. Sanzo was slouched against a boulder nearby, keeping an eye on the both of them as he smoked a last cigarette.

Hakkai slipped his arm from around Gojyo's shoulder with a murmured word of thanks, leaning forward on the hood of the Jeep. Gojyo propped a hip against the green metal beside him, searching in his jacket until he found his last pack of Hi-Lites. "Ah, shit," he muttered. It was empty. Gojyo shook the pack upside down a bit forlornly, before crumpling it in his hand and tossing it away in disgust.

Sanzo called to Goku to quit fooling around and get his ass back to the car. As they waited for Goku to say his goodbyes to Wei's pet, Hakkai found his gaze traveling down to focus on his human hands, resting on the hood of the Jeep. It was odd, but he'd spent so much time looking at them this past week, he could almost see the outline of youkai talons, and the shadowy pattern of vines against the skin.

Ruri's words came back to him, then. The blood of those murders is not yours alone. Her assistance had been unlooked for--Hakkai never would have expected to hear those words from any living being, let alone another youkai. He had been carrying the burden of guilt on his own for so long, it was odd to feel it shift so suddenly. It wasn't gone--not by any means. He had been responsible for his own actions on that rainy night, over four years ago. Nothing would ever change that. But his time among these mountain youkai had shed some new light on his situation. It had made him accept that some of the circumstances surrounding his guilt had been beyond his control. Not his burden alone, after all. He felt suddenly lighter.

"I think I don't hate it quite so much anymore," Hakkai said softly.

"Eh?" Gojyo said in confusion.

"Being youkai." Hakkai leaned back on the hood of the Jeep, careful to avoid putting weight on his newly-healed left leg. "I don't think I'll ever be happy about it, precisely. It's certainly not something I would have chosen on my own. However, now that I've learned more...in many ways, the lives of youkai and humans are not so different." He was quiet for a moment, then shook his head.

"Perhaps it's not so bad after all."

The Jeep rocked suddenly as Goku vaulted into the back. "C'mon, guys! What are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!"

Without really thinking about it, Hakkai came around the side of the Jeep towards his usual seat, and found the way firmly blocked. "Sanzo..."

"Didn't you hear me, earlier?" the monk growled. "You're getting in the back, Hakkai."

Hakkai opened his mouth in a token protest, then thought the better of it and meekly climbed in behind the driver's seat.

"You're not driving either, Mr. High-and-mighty monk," Gojyo announced. "On these shitty mountain roads, you'd kill us all." He stepped around Sanzo and slid easily in behind the wheel.

"Finally," Sanzo muttered, not quite under his breath, as he opened the passenger side door and claimed his usual spot.

"I understand that there's a human settlement about four hours down the mountain," Hakkai put in as he settled comfortably back in his seat. "If we hurry, we should make it there by nightfall."

"Ah!" Goku said excitedly. "Food!"

"Cigarettes," Sanzo added firmly, obviously having just used up his last one.

"Beer," Gojyo said, rubbing his hands together with anticipation. "And women...without fangs and claws, for a change."

Hakkai only smiled. Things were back to normal again, after all.

Jeep started up with an eager roar--the revving of the engine showing plainly that he also was ready to get moving again. Gojyo shifted into gear and eased the tires forward onto the old gravel road. They all started off down the mountain, headed towards the next setting sun.

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