Title: Life Itself

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: Pg-13, possibly changing

Summary: Post Haunted. Suze and Jesse are finally together-but not if Maria and Paul have their way.

Author's Note: Review! And check out or other Mediator fics, "Sweet Surrender" and "In These Eyes"

"Hold on to the light that guides you, hold on to me." -The Starting Line

Suze's POV

I can't speak. I want to scream at Jesse, and tell him never to talk like that again. But I can't speak. Or breathe.

When I can open my mouth I manage to get out "Father Dom, could you give us a sec?" he nods and leaves silently.

I turn my gaze on Jesse who looks away. "This is entirely my fault Susannah. I should have known."

"Should have known what Jesse?" I ask, trying really hard not to cry.

"This, you and I, it's only going to hurt you."

"Really? That's funny. I was just fine until five minutes ago."

"Susannah, Maria, she almost killed you."

"And she almost killed me before we were well, you know. Yea, I know she's a psycho and this is dangerous, but so is my life. If you think ending this and distancing yourself from me is going to help me, you're wrong."

He watches me for a while. I'm dying to look out the window, or down at the floor, but I force myself to keep my eyes locked with his.

"It's not that I don't love you Susannah, because I truly do."

"Right. Then what's the problem?"

"What I'm doing, it's terribly unfair to you. There's no future in it. And you deserve so much better."

It was at this point I had to laugh. I felt so much like Buffy, arguing with Angel. I really, really wanted to cry and beg and plead. Except...

"This is insanity. Forget it Jesse, I'm not letting you. If you break up with me, you'll have to leave my room, and I'll just start spending all my time at the rectory. If you exorcise yourself, so will I."

"Susannah, it's not that I want to leave."

"Then don't. Jesse, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. But I need to know that you're in this. Maria is out to kick our asses, but if we're together she cant beat us. Now are you in or not?" I ask extending my hand.

Jesse looks bewildered, then mortified. But he reaches out and squeezes my hand. But he still looks extremely mortified. Apparently, he isn't accustomed to the whole getting a talking to from your girlfriend.

I try to hide my smile at the shocked look on his face. "Jesse, I didn't mean to um," I trail off. He smiles.

"Susannah, you have no idea how frightened I was when I saw you lying there, the blood. If the worst had happened, because of me? Querida, I would never forgive myself."

"The worst didn't happen. It's not going to."

Jesse gives my hand a gentle tug, and I leave my chair and position myself in his, on his lap. I sigh. Despite the fact I have a massive headache and a bloody bandage on my arm, this is really just about as good as it could get. Until he kisses me. That's even better.

"It's been quite a night Susannah." Jesse said with a mischievous smile. I smiled back.

"And not all bad either." I manage to squeak out, feeling the blush crawl up my face. Jesse grins and kisses me, and I know that everything is going to be ok.

Well, until Father Dominic walked in on us kissing, and launched into a tirade about the intended jobs of mediators, but hey, we cant get everything we want can we?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~ Paul's POV

"What I want to know is why Hector was not being occupied." Maria practically screamed at me.

I shrugged. "I gave you the window you wanted. And it's not like you were honest with me. I told you not to hurt her."

Maria laughed. "I didn't. Much."

An uncomfortable chill ran down my spine. I didn't care if Jesse got exorcised, or if Maria could work out this "Killer of the Dead" spell, but I did care about what happened to Suze. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten into this again. I shook my head firmly. It was too late now.