Dear Journ--Wait, this is s'posed to be a log, isn't it? Ah, scupper it. Who cares?Dear Journal,
You know, that Mr. Turner is REALLY startin' to get me me nerves. Sometimes I wish I could just keelhaul 'im...But then again, 'e must want to keelhaul me, too. 'Tis not MY fault that he's honest an' stupid. Honestly-stupid. Stupidly-honest. I dunno which one makes more sense. I guess they both do, so we'll make it Stupidly-honest-honesty. Now I'm confusin' myself so I'll move on...
'Twas quite windy t'day. Had to reef the sails and brace that mast or the mast would've broken right off of my ship. The fastest bloody ship in the whole Caribbean, it is, an' it's got the 'andsomest and most respected captains to ever sail. Just because me old hearties marooned me doesn't mean bilge, so don't even TRY to bring that up! If you ask the lasses in Tortuga about me, they'd give you a whole different description...They'd say I was a dirty scoundrel (Well, derr, I'm a pirate...) and a one night stand. Hey, gotta keep myself pleased, aye? Jus' one wench gets too bloody borin'. Why not mingle with all o' 'em, savvy? Who I really want to shoot for is that Elizabeth Swann from Port Royal. 'Twas that Turner-lad who picker 'er up. How could she choose HIM over me? If I were her, and I had to pick between me and Mr. Turner, I'd pick Mr. Turner because I'm Elizabeth Swann an' I'm not smart and pirates are way out of my league. It makes me laugh sometimes...Hah...William Turner over Captain Jack Sparrow...Pahaha...Haha...ha...NO, I'M NOT JEALOUS! Me? Jealous? It's going to make me laugh more! PAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHA! Okay, I'm done now...
I have nothin' against that lad. He's jus' not fit fer pirate-life. He's too bloody proper (and clean) for my kind of life. Every time I go to swipe somethin', he goes, "Jaaaaaccckkk! That's wrong!" And I go, " I'M A PIRATE FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, LAD! I had to remind you twice at swordplay 'cause you kept complainin' about me cheatin', and now I have to remind yeh again?! Good God!" And by yellin' that I had to keep the officers busy while Turner-lad ran to the Pearl and got 'er ready to sail as soon as I got there. Then, I had to leap off o' the docks and grab a line hanging down the side of the ship. Any ideas as to why this happened? Being honestly-stupid! ...Or was it stupidly-honest? ...
A load of trouble, that kid is. And a devilish kid, too. When we first met he got me locked up, and then he makes me make him a deal to save Miss Swann so I can get out. I mean, come on, lad!! Yeh got me in there in the first place, mate. You had better be getting me out! I had better be goin' before those mindless hearties of mine do something...Honestly stupid...
~Jack Sparrow
You know, that Mr. Turner is REALLY startin' to get me me nerves. Sometimes I wish I could just keelhaul 'im...But then again, 'e must want to keelhaul me, too. 'Tis not MY fault that he's honest an' stupid. Honestly-stupid. Stupidly-honest. I dunno which one makes more sense. I guess they both do, so we'll make it Stupidly-honest-honesty. Now I'm confusin' myself so I'll move on...
'Twas quite windy t'day. Had to reef the sails and brace that mast or the mast would've broken right off of my ship. The fastest bloody ship in the whole Caribbean, it is, an' it's got the 'andsomest and most respected captains to ever sail. Just because me old hearties marooned me doesn't mean bilge, so don't even TRY to bring that up! If you ask the lasses in Tortuga about me, they'd give you a whole different description...They'd say I was a dirty scoundrel (Well, derr, I'm a pirate...) and a one night stand. Hey, gotta keep myself pleased, aye? Jus' one wench gets too bloody borin'. Why not mingle with all o' 'em, savvy? Who I really want to shoot for is that Elizabeth Swann from Port Royal. 'Twas that Turner-lad who picker 'er up. How could she choose HIM over me? If I were her, and I had to pick between me and Mr. Turner, I'd pick Mr. Turner because I'm Elizabeth Swann an' I'm not smart and pirates are way out of my league. It makes me laugh sometimes...Hah...William Turner over Captain Jack Sparrow...Pahaha...Haha...ha...NO, I'M NOT JEALOUS! Me? Jealous? It's going to make me laugh more! PAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHA! Okay, I'm done now...
I have nothin' against that lad. He's jus' not fit fer pirate-life. He's too bloody proper (and clean) for my kind of life. Every time I go to swipe somethin', he goes, "Jaaaaaccckkk! That's wrong!" And I go, " I'M A PIRATE FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, LAD! I had to remind you twice at swordplay 'cause you kept complainin' about me cheatin', and now I have to remind yeh again?! Good God!" And by yellin' that I had to keep the officers busy while Turner-lad ran to the Pearl and got 'er ready to sail as soon as I got there. Then, I had to leap off o' the docks and grab a line hanging down the side of the ship. Any ideas as to why this happened? Being honestly-stupid! ...Or was it stupidly-honest? ...
A load of trouble, that kid is. And a devilish kid, too. When we first met he got me locked up, and then he makes me make him a deal to save Miss Swann so I can get out. I mean, come on, lad!! Yeh got me in there in the first place, mate. You had better be getting me out! I had better be goin' before those mindless hearties of mine do something...Honestly stupid...
~Jack Sparrow