- warning -
bad humor. Whore!Otogi, and Cupid!Otogi. XD
- author says... -
I got this idea whilst writing in my FF.net bio. Just seemed like a good idea at the time. It was originally going to be a one-shot, and then I thought, "Wait, I could expand this!" So I did. XD Again, not my most intelligent fic in the world, and even in it's entirety it's short… but it's supposed to be funny.
The Firing Squad
Otogi felt like he was facing a firing squad. Not that the males glaring at him looked like a very vicious squad. There was Yuugi, in all his faux innocence, looking at Otogi with those impossibly huge purple eyes. There was Seto with his perfected death glare (enough to make even Otogi a little nervous). There was Honda, who looked like he was trying to decide if he was bored or upset. There was Jounouchi, who was trying to stare at Otogi's ass when he thought no one was looking. Finally there was that white-haired kid that Otogi had never gotten the name of but had somehow taken to bed on four separate occasions…
And they were all waiting on him.
He hadn't technically played them; he hadn't promised anyone anything. He had simply flitted from bed to bed. It wasn't HIS fault they misunderstood him. So therefore, it had to be completely unfair that they wanted him to choose only one of them. They each had their virtues.
He loved the way Yuugi feigned naïveté. It was just too cute, and when the all the doors were closed and no one was watching, Yuugi was quite the little pervert. Some of the things that kid could do with his mouth sent shivers down Otogi's spine.
Then there was Seto, who was stoic, sexy, smart, rich, devoted… and had Otogi mentioned sexy? Otogi had the most fun submitting to Seto. Not that Seto would have ever let him do otherwise; that dominance was all part of the allure. Something about that intensity and cleverly hidden passion for life made Otogi weak at the knees… not to mention he knew just the right way to make Otogi scream, much to his embarrassment; imagine him, the one who kept at least three boys on call at any given time, screaming into the mattress!
Ah, and Honda, who was great at that comfort gig; Otogi always turned to him if he was upset or just needed to cuddle. Honda was probably the most sensual of the bunch, more willing to play and be played with; he was big into that pleasure gig. But Honda always made him feel good, one way or another…
Jounouchi… well, he did have a bit of a fetish for seeing the blond down on all fours. And Jounouchi was a great person to have around when he was a tight spot; always willing to do something rash and stupid if he thought it was needed. Had Otogi noted that he was at his most adorable when sleeping? Otogi usually never stayed in someone's bed longer than necessary, but he almost always took a moment to appreciate the view of Jounouchi asleep.
Finally, there was the drunken mishap known as that white-haired kid… Well, the first time had been a drunken mishap. The second time they had passed on the street, exchanged a word of greeting, and next thing Otogi knew they had been in the backseat of his car in some alleyway. The kid had a crazy sense of humor, must have been an adrenaline junkie, and was quite the risk-taker… at least, he had been the few times Otogi had bedded him.
He had to say something eventually…
"Just one?"
There were five glares pointed at him, each with their own meaning. Well, that was apparently the WRONG thing to say.
"I never said anything about exclusivity… I mean, who could choose just one of you?" Flattery appeared to be getting him nowhere. "If you could all just see what you brought to bed, I mean…" He grinned. "Hey, I have an idea." He was greeted with silence. He waited patiently; if they weren't going to be ballsy enough to ask, then he wasn't going to share. When it came right down to it, he was in charge. That made him feel a little better about the whole situation.
It was the white-haired kid who finally asked, "What?"
"Well, since I can't just stand here and choose one, why don't we all just hop into bed at once?"
Immediately voices rose to protest. Yuugi was blushing (and inside Otogi was laughing because he could SEE that Yuugi excited at the prospect), and Seto looked scandalized. Honda and Jounouchi were staring at each other in something akin to horror, and that white-haired kid looked vaguely intrigued.
It was Seto who finally voiced his opinion. "That's ridiculous. What sort of idea is that?"
Otogi felt like a ringmaster as he said, "A magnificent one. You see, that way I can gauge everyone at once, and from there make a choice."
"Is this all about sex?" Honda asked.
"Besides," the white-haired kid said thoughtfully, "there isn't a bed big enough, and I don't think the floor is going to be a very good place for 6 guys to go at it." He was actually considering the idea! Damn, that kid was surprising sometimes. "But it wouldn't work. You know what each of us has, but - when it comes to sex - we're strangers to each other. If you throw us all into bed, we would inevitably focus solely on you, seeking out familiar territory. It wouldn't work; it would be one big cluster fuck."
That was the most Otogi had ever heard the kid say, and finally he asked, "What's your name, anyway?"
The kid answered casually, "Ryou."
"Ah." Otogi felt the wheels in his head turning. "That's a good point." There were 6 guys… 6 gay guys… why didn't Otogi try to distract them with each other? If he could get them to see the virtue in each other, then they would surely let him keep making his rounds like he always did! "Okay, then, how about this; I'll go on a date with each of you - two at a time that way no one feels threatened - twice, over the span of the next few days. After all these dates if you still think I should make a choice, then I will. Deal?"
"It sounds like some bad reality TV show," Seto said with a scowl.
"Maybe," Otogi agreed, "but there's no cameras, and it's the only way I can see to make up my mind."
Reluctantly they all agreed, and Otogi ushered them out quickly, telling them that he needed to think about how he was going to work everything out. Once they were gone, he sat at his desk, typing his thoughts at his computer and grinning; by the time he was done with them, they wouldn't mind his bed hopping. Hell, maybe a few would hop with him…