(WARNING - this story contains:
Gore, Rape, Extreme Murder, Maybe a little graphic, and also sex talk!
If you do not like then please DO NOT READ! I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH FLAMERS WHO CAN'T HANLDE A STORY!)
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just borrowing the magical world the beautiful J.K Rowling brought to us.
My twenty-second birthday...
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(Harry's POV)
I sat in my cold, cubic center, watching as the last light of day sunk beneath my cell bars, watching as the dark engulfed my stone home. I felt the heat leave my body, drifting out through the small circular window along with the sun, sinking beneath the earth, waiting for another day. Never to be seen till the next decreeing pain of misery.
I didn't twitch as I felt the cold wave of heavens breeze push itself through the cell bars harboring me within, rotting myself away in hell, my solitude, as the air touched my bruised skin. Pain that will never leave me in the rotting hell it put me in.
I could feel the cold sign of bumps sprout over my ghostly white skin. I didn't even shiver. My body was so numb to pain now. I couldn't even feel it myself at times.
I hated nights. Leaving me to decrease to nothing more then human within my cell. Day-by-day, the images flying through my head as if preserved there for life. Seeing the blood on all their faces. Like seeing the blood now on my shoulder.
I didn't even blink as I felt the open wound of my shoulder start to twitch from the cold, prying the skin it found there. I tried to hold in my breath as I felt the crimson liquid fall from within me, and spread out through the open wound. I watched as it sunk into the worn fabric on my back. Staining it with my crimson, watching as it joined the other numerous blooded stains as well.
I don't know how long it's been since I've been able to feel the sun on my face. Feel the sun within my soul. My body is like darkness; night time in many ways. Never going to see sun within it, shining inside and lighting everything it touches. I don't know how long it's been since I was able to open my mouth without anything but a scream escaping from it. My throat was so dry; I hardly would have guessed I could have talked if given the chance.
But I did no one thing. Out of anything else that passed my mind without being the darken fears of my past, the presence of my brain, being deprived to the little sanity left that still burdened me.
Out of the pain I felt day-by-day. The hunger my stomach would feel from being stolen of its duty to eat. Feeling my own body start to feed itself from within me. The voices I would hear as the sun went down, taking away the only source of life I harbor in this cold, forsaken, stone cell blocking me from the essence of life. Not that there was any life out there for me to find.
Out of all that, I knew what today was. Today was my twenty-second birthday.
I tried to hold the grim pain that had just hit my chest. The pain of telling me one thing I knew was going to probably kidnap the rest of my sanity if there was any of it left there to begin with. It's already been three years since the pain started. The tears started to fall. The pain of the loved ones I miss so much.
Sirius, Hermione, Ron, Remus, The Weasleys, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Professor McGonagall- and Draco - even Hedwig.
There faces only to be preserved as memories within my head. The last moments of our happiness together, the last smiles that crossed their faces, the last laughter that erupted from their throats, the last pair of glowing eyes smiling at me. Only to be memories, fading away along with my sanity. Sinking beneath the earth, rotting away with there bodies.
I guess I should start my story somewhere. I never can get through it most of the time. Feeling the tears slide down my face, or the return of the Death Eaters coming to take me for another game of 'pain of play' or as they called it.
It had all started three years ago from today. All the pain, all the tears, all the cries for release. From within the first attack, to the last death -- the last coffin to be lowered into the ground. Rotting away, as I am now. Trapped within my own coffin, my own death, my cell.
Ron and Hermione..they had married right after graduation. Seeing no reason to wait. I wasn't surprised by the engagement. They were always one of the couples I always knew would find themselves halted at the alter. Both their families and myself thrilled for them. Ron - almost begging me to be his best man. Hermione - watching her walk down the isle with her father by her side. The kiss she had given me as a thank-you for always being there for her. They were beautiful together.
The baby coming a year after that. I will admit I wasn't to keen when Ron had approached me in the hospital, insisting my goddaughter be named after me. I don't think she would have been fond of the name Harriet. Hari for short. Even through all that happiness I knew there would be darkness to engulf it all.
Voldemort - showing up at the small house they had made their own loving home. I didn't expect it, if he wanted me, he would have come to my home, but he didn't. He wasn't going to make the same errors - not this time.
How Voldemort had found Ron and Hermione in the nursery while they had been feeding baby Hari. How he had stationed ten Death Eaters surrounding the home. Making sure the passengers inside would not be leaving alive.
How he had ordered four of the Death Eaters to seize Ron and little Hari, only five months old at the time. How he had assigned two more of the Death Eaters to take Hermione into her and Ron's bedroom. How they had rapped, tortured, gagged, and then killed her in the bedroom Ron and herself had conceived their child. How Ron, was forced to see her body after the damage. The damage of how he knew it was the end. How they made Ron's last sight, his dead wife, before they killed him as well.
The Aurors came to the house a week after Ron hadn't come into work. Smelling death the minute they stepped into the door. Seeing blood all over the nursery floor. How they had found Hermione's body over the bed, Ron's head next to his body rotting on the floor. How they had found baby Hari's body in the bathtub, her lungs, having been deprived of oxygen for over twelve hours.
Sirius and Remus...How I should have known Voldemort wouldn't give up on me this easily. He wanted just enough pain to conflict me with, just enough to haunt me at nights. How just after a month from the death of my best friends, a letter arrived at Sirius and Remus new flat. How a potion to the unknown was conceived within the envelope, how Sirius had been sleeping on the couch, how Remus, trying to let his last best friend consume the sleep he had been deprived of the last couple of nights, how he had opened the letter. The potion spilling over his hands. Within seconds the werewolf within the body of the man erupted through the skin. How the beast had found Sirius on the couch, how it had ripped him from limb to limb and swallowing the rest.
How Voldemort had showed up at the flat. Giving the antidote to Remus before he could attack him as well.
How he only let Remus livelong enough to know he killed his best friend. How Voldemort had given him another potion to spit the remains back up. How the only remains of Sirius was his blood stained into the floor for life. After that, he then proceeded to kill Remus. Once again the Aurors coming to his flat after he had not been showing up for work. Finding his body with several Muggle stab wounds from within the chest.
Dumbledore....How he had been walking back to his office after a fine meal in the Great Hall. How he had been in a cherry mood, humming slightly to himself. How he had mumbled the password through a Lemon Drop conceived within his mouth. That was before the faithful gargoyle that had been guarding his office for centuries, came alive from within its form. How it had jumped at Dumbledore, and bit his throat out before the elder man could even reach his wand.
McGonagall....how at the time of Dumbledore's attack, she had decided to take a night time stroll through the grounds in her animagus form. How the Death Eaters had seized her, before her cat instincts could sense their movement or even their presence for that matter. How they took her back to Voldemorts Head Quarters. How they had sent her body back to the school, still in animagus form, with a note attached saying - 'I really wanted to see if cats do hate water, guess it doesn't help when you chain them in it.'
Hagrid...How they had kidnapped him from Hogwarts as well, from within his own cabin to be exact. How they had put him to sleep with a curse so forceful he wouldn't have woken up if he depended on it.
They had dragged him back to Voldemorts Head Quarters as well as they had with McGonagall. They had taken him to a room with a huge bed, lined against the wall. After they had made sure he was completely tied up, and had no way of escaping, they had woken him up.
How Voldemort ordered exactly thirty Death Eaters into the room they kept him in. How they all stood around his bed in a semi-circle. How they all pulled their wands on him, and the last words Hagrid ever hearing was the cold sneer of Voldemort saying:
"I wonder how many curses we can send into his chest without it blowing him up?"
The Weasleys....How they had all been gathered at the house the day of Ron and Hermione's funeral. How the Death Eaters had ambushed them, breaking into the house. Arthur giving his own life right then and there to give his family time to escape from the house. How he ordered everyone to go upstairs and fly away on brooms, go somewhere, anywhere but here. Right as the family had fled for their safety, the door had burst open and after many cures flying through the elder living room, he was blown to pieces.
How Fred had only been a few ten inches from the ground before he fell dead from the curse aimed at him, stopping his heart almost instantly. How two Death Eaters had seized Mrs. Weasley, then Ginny. How they had taken them downstairs in the house, and gave them the similar treatment they had submitted Hermione to. How they had just left the bodies of the dead women, there on the same bed. Each being raped in the same bedroom, each getting the treat of watching each other die. While they had taken the only women of the house downstairs, they still had the remaining men.
How they had tied them all up to the walls in the room they had caught them in. (How they had all ran to Ron's room since it was the highest segment in the house.) The Death Eaters feeling generous enough, hadn't even bothered to curse them in any painful manner. The only torture they had to endure was the hissing of the Death Eaters guarding them within the room. Hissing in their faces that at that very moment there sister and mother were at the verge of death.
How, when the Death Eaters left the house, they didn't bother cleaning up the bodies of the women, or untying the men. The only thing that they had done was get distance between themselves and the house, before it was blown to ashes. All the occupants in Ron's room were the first to go, since the bombs had been implanted there.
Then - I didn't think I could re-tell this part of the story, but I knew I had to, more so, then the rest. This part is what ended me here. What had started this game. Everything that had been apart of me, and then had been taken from me through death.
Draco...That was a story all within itself. I'll never forget how that love had fallen upon us. How at my lame attempt to shut him up, I had done the complete opposite.
It had been the Gryffindor versus Slytherin final Quidditch match. I think I actual cried when I had caught that snitch. The last snitch I would ever be catching for my Gryffindor victory. The last snitch of my seventh year. I remember it all like it was yesterday.
I had urged my teammates to go back up to the Common Room without me. Giving them the lame excuse, I just needed some time to myself, which was all. They all were a little disappointed to get the party started without me, but finally, they had given into my pleas, and went back up without me accompanying them.
I wasn't lying, I did need to be alone. I remember walking solemnly out to the lake. Perching on a boulder near by as I gazed over the last remains of the sun still hanging beneath the clouds. Determined to fall, as the light began to shrink away from the grounds surrounding me.
How at that blissful moment, I didn't think anyone was approaching me. Having my feet soaking in the water, and my face lit by the sun, I almost didn't hear the insult that came flying at me from behind.
I remember how my eyes met his silver orbs as I turned around. How at that moment all the bliss that had taken me as its victim, sank away in the depths of the water before me.
"What do you want Malfoy -- here to sass me at your loss triumph, yeah well -- I'm not in the mood," I remember myself saying.
That's when I remember him start to rant and rave. Telling me that I was just some Gryffindor, sissy prat of a prick too much of a guilt to be burden with. How I was just the little boy within the brain of my head, how everyone took me as some sort of Savior of the world. How it was my little quest to be the "The-Boy-Who-Everyone-Loved." How it was me, the little prissy prick that landed his father in jail. How everything in his life that had gone wrong, was now my problem.
Somewhere in his attempted speech to defeat me, I had started to grow a headache over his voice. After about the third line of "you just want fame" I knew I had to shut him up.
I had tried to interrupt him numerous times, only to have him keep rambling on and on. I had tried to just walk away, but he kept following me, I had stopped that tactic, because every time I took a step, he would always find some sort of insult to hold me there, firm stiff in my place.
That's when I remember I really needed to get him to shut up. He seemed to be loosing his breath as he kept talking, kept ranting about how I'm two different people to the world. How my mission is to poison his family, and carry the burden that has desist itself over them. That's when I remember walking towards him, knowing this would be the only way to stop the steam of insults flooding down river into me.
Right as I was about a mere five inches away, I had thrown my lips onto his.
Meaning to only scare him, then shut him up, and have him walk away. Never to darken my shadow again.
I only did two out of three. Scared him, well yes I could have already told you that, from how rigid he went, shocked him, I don't think I've ever seen eyes go as big as his did.
But no, he had not walked away. In fact he then shocked me with his move.
Not by pushing me off him and then start to gag and spit everywhere, but to start kissing back.
The next thing I can remember was having my clothes thrown off my back, as me, doing the same to him. Our mouths still locked with nothing but moans, and hard breathing. That was when we found ourselves in the lake, both naked, both on top of each other, begging, almost pleading for the other to go faster until we both reached climax, the most peaceful release I had ever felt.
And then, through that climax the pain had started - the deaths came, the coffins were lowered, my sanity was taken.
I'll never forget it, never in my life, I can almost still hear the pleas of Draco. I can still see his face behind my closed eyelids at night. Can still feel his warm breath on my ear, whispering soft things to me. It had all started...
(Flashback)
We had been lying in our new flat. Lying on our new bed. Lying in the blissful act of the aftermath of love. Lying in our solitude, our own mines enwrapped in each other's arms. No one invading us, no one bugging us - it was just me and you.
You were lying on top of me. I could still you within me. We usual never left each other after we made love. Just the knowing fact that you were still inside me, was more then enough that I could stand.
I was too much in a remorse of peace, that you were the only one that had heard the doorbell sound throughout our flat.
I groaned as I felt you slip out of me, feeling cold without your warmth over me.
You smiled down at me before kissing my lips tightly to yours. Slightly running your tongue over my bottom lip. Little did I know that would be our last kiss, before the pain would start to show its true colors. I felt you pull away from me and whisper into my ear:
"I'll be right back love -- get ready for another round."
I smiled as you put on a pair of trousers before leaving the room.
I heard your footsteps die away after you were halfway down the hall. I sighed.
I would always get exhausted after days like these. On days where you and I would play hooky and stay in bed all day and make love. I had lost count of how many times today it had already been. I knew I shouldn't be counting, because I knew there was lots more to still come. I started to hear whispers echoing down from the hallways leading to the door.
Wondering who in Merlin could be at our house at twelve in the after-noon, I got up, and threw a pair of trousers on myself.
Right as I was tying them up, that's when I heard it. The scream that follows me into the nights, the scream that made sure I will never have the same sanity that I used to carry as a boy:
"HARRY!"
I didn't think my heart could jump as high as it did to your voice. But it certainly did.
I ran out of the room. My feet slipping from the friction between the hard board floor. I ran into the living room, looking for you, my eyes trapping the walls within my gaze. That was before I felt someone seize me from behind my arms. Whoever it was, they had been expecting me to fight them. That was why they then had three men start to surround me. One punching me, the other pulling my hair back, so that I was looking straight into the covered face of there masks. And the other holding my arms behind my head so hard, I thought I felt my elbow snap.
They let go of me. But I knew the pain wasn't over, I knew somehow I would end up like this. They had picked me up, almost unconscious at the time, from how hard they had been hitting my head. That's when I felt them throw me to the floor. That's when I opened my eyes, and saw your bloody face staring back at me.
"Harry," you whispered in a shiver. Your voice was so rough, I didn't know what had happened to you. It had only been ten minutes ago you were lying within me, enwrapped in my arms. And now I was here, lying next to you, enwrapped in your blood that I saw leaking from your waist. That's when I saw the knife lying a few feet from you. The tip covered with your blood. They had stabbed you.
"Look how cute they look Opius, to bad we can't watch them die together," sneered a voice behind me that I didn't recognize.
"As much as I would love that Gavet, we can't kill Potter."
"The Dark Lord just said to keep him alive - never said we couldn't hurt him a little -- "
"I already had my pleasure with Draco -- never knew Muggles created weapons so beautiful," said a voice right behind Draco. My head snapped up a little at the sneer. I knew that sneer anywhere, if given the chance I could hunt that sneer out by instinct, through a crowd of thirty.
"How about we stab Potter, then heal it - then let the Dark Lord have his fun with him?"
"If you kill him Gavet, its your body that will be replaced with Potters -"
"A stab to the leg won't kill him Lucius - just inflict him with pain to know what he has coming."
"Fine - I'll enjoy this," sneered the same voice.
I felt the presence behind me start to move. I saw the Death Eater that had held me, walk over to the knife. I closed my eyes before opening them again. I found myself looking back at you. I could now feel your blood starting to sink into the fabric on my back.
I tried to move, but I knew that would get us both killed if I tried anything rash. I then heard the scrapping of metal leave the floor, and for some reason I knew this was it. I just watched you as your eyes focused on me, shutting softly. I felt the Death Eater make his way around to my thighs. I felt him kneel down next to me from behind. I looked at you for what I knew would probably be the last loving look I would be able to give you and then I mouthed the words 'I love you.'
Right as I felt the tip of the cold blade touch my skin -
"NO!"
The entire room froze, including myself at your voice.
"What did you say?" asked the Death Eater holding the knife.
"No - please -d-don't hurt him," you croaked out. You were loosing too much blood. I felt my body go numb for a second before I knew what you were planning. Almost being able to hear your thoughts from within my own head. Your face was turning so pale.
"Really young Draco - you think we shouldn't hurt him, why is this?" sneered a Death Eater from behind him.
"Take me," you croaked again. Your face turning even paler, as was mine. You had to be kidding, you couldn't do this, I wouldn't let you.
"Pardon?"
"T-take me - l-leave H-Harry be, -- k-kill me."
"Draco no," I said, trying too move towards you, but being resulted in being hit in the back by someone other then the Death Eater holding the knife.
"Lucius -" asked a Death Eater from behind him. Approaching him slowly.
"Gavet - take him into the bedroom - NOW!"
"NO!" I screamed trying to sit up but resulting in once again, being kicked, square in the back.
"Shut up boy - your going next if you keep ranting."
"No - p-please don't touch him, please no, -- just take me to Voldemort, let Draco be!" I begged. I couldn't let them do this. Draco couldn't be serious. He wasn't in the right mind to know what was coming out of his mouth right now.
"Potter -- if not now, Draco will die anyway, today, right here, right now."
"Opius - gather Potter, I want him to watch something that used to be my son, walk into that bedroom and hear him die."
"NO - N-NO PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS!"
I felt someone walk forward, and gather me from off the floor. From away from you. I could still feel your blood on my clothes; I couldn't let them do this. They were trying to ruin us. I loved you, and you had just sacrificed your life for mine.
"W-Why are you d-doing this f-father -"
"YOU ARE NOT MY SON YOU PIECE OF SHITE -"
I watched as he walked forward and kicked you straight into your wound. The wound he had placed in you. I should have known. He wasn't hear on orders of Voldemort. He was here on orders of revenge. Revenge on his son -- revenge on me.
"Gavet - are you going to do this today or shall I?" he sneered as he inhaled, gesturing to the knife in his hands with an impatient manner. Trying extremely hard to calm himself from within.
"No - I beg of you, please - please have mercy on him."
I felt my mothers words start to form in my mouth as I felt the tears in my eyes fall as I repeated them. I felt my mother inside me, her words to protect me, as I repeated them to protect my loved one. I only knew one thing about this outcome. They weren't going to spare your life today, as her words had spared mine, the day she spoke them.
I watched as four of the unknown masked wreaths walked forward and picked you up. Roughly at first, clearly not caring about the stab wound now spearing blood everywhere over their hands.
"I l-love you Harry -" you whispered again, but I couldn't let this happen. It couldn't, I could feel the tears start to fall from my face in rivers.
"NO PLEASE - STOP THIS, PLEASE LUCIUS PLEASE!"
I tried to get up, but they grabbed me and held me down as I watched them lift you off the ground.
"Draco - please p-please," I felt myself choking on my own tears. This couldn't be happening. This had to be some ravenous dream.
"Harry -I-I'm g-going to die anyway -- t-this way I-I know I d-died for y- you -- s-see you in h-heaven m-my love."
(End flashback)
That had been the last time I saw your eyes. I had cried for days after that. Lucius had taken me to Voldemort, and the torture began. If it hadn't been for Voldemort, I wouldn't have known all the details about how my other loved ones died. That was one of the ways Voldemort let me sink into my own sanity. He had the Death Eater put the memories into their Pensieve and had me watch it.
Watched as they rapped Hermione - watched as they beheaded Ron - watched as Voldemort killed baby Hari by drowning her, her cries only to become silence after they had placed her within the water- watched as Remus spit out the blood of Sirius - watched as Dumbledore's throat was ripped out - watched as they put McGonagall into a metal box, and lower her into the water, her twists and hisses soon coming to silence as well- watched as they shot so many curses into Hagrids chest, his heart blew within, sending blood everywhere - watched as they killed Mr. Weasley with one curse -- rapping Ginny and Mrs. Weasley - watched as they tied the remaining lot of Ron's brother's up, and then - watched as the house they had made there loving home over the years -- blow up.
I had to watch it all, and that's how I saw their faces in my head at night.
I may not of had to watch them kill Draco, but they had made me do something worse then that. Some how I knew they must have been planning this scheme from the start, after Draco's pleas to save me.
After they had left our room that day, they had brought out with them the sheets to our bed. Draco's blood covering almost every white part of the wool cotton. And that is what they made as my clothing. They made our bed sheets from our bed, bed sheets Draco and me had made love on, bed sheets they killed Draco on, bed sheets they let him spill his blood over, those bed sheets were the clothes that have been harvested on my back for three years now. That's how I knew Draco was always with me.
I remember when they had found Hedwig. They didn't tell me how they had killed her, they just brought her to me.
I remember Voldemorts cold sneer as he said to me: "I'll be nice today Harry - you'll get to eat, a full meal, a fresh meal, and I know you'll eat it, because I won't let you die with an empty stomach and plus unless you don't eat it, you won't be getting another meal again."
I remember as they threw her into my cell. A little blood on her feathers - but Voldemort was right about one thing, I did eat it.
The torture had been as bad as I had expected it to be. But by now Voldemorts little rapes, curses, and more sessions of watching the Pensieve were numb to me. The number of times I felt someone push into me that wasn't Draco, the number of times I felt a curse hit my body, and the number of times I've had to watch everyone I know die before me. It was all numb to me now. Even my stomach - only being able to eat twice a week, was numb to its pain also.
Even through all that - I still couldn't die. Voldemort made sure of that. He wanted me alive to see the world, as it rotted away. Just as much how to anyone who talked to me was as good as dead.
And even through all that - through all the deaths I've seen - all the blood I've seen - all the coffins I've watched be lowered into the ground - all the screams and pleas of my loved ones - the dry blood I carry on my back from my lover.
Even through all that I still knew, today was the day that started it all. Knowing that my death may never come as peaceful as I want, or as soon as I want it. But even still...
The day I was born to the world. The date that had killed everyone I love. People - who would give me the actual time of day to love me. But even still they were all dead now, rotting (or what's left of some of them) within their coffins, sunken into the ground. But still today was the day..
Today was my twenty-second birthday.
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If you are going to flame me because of the following reasons:
This story had too much gore
This story was sad
It wasn't accurate
It couldn't happen
You are a sick person who needs help
Then please take your flames elsewhere. I really don't want to have to deal with people who aren't mature enough to read a fan fiction. If you didn't like, then you shouldn't have read. You were warned.
Also - I would like all of you to know I don't want all the credit for this story. Yes some of it is my work, but I got the idea from another author I'd like to mention to you all.
Amanuensis, who I found at another Fanfiction Website which to, is an Draco/Harry dedicated Website to Slash, also involving other numerous pairings that I highly enjoyed reading.)
If any of you would like to see Amanuensis original story this plot it is called 'One Piece of Parchment.'
Please check my Bio if you wish to see the URL to this story. For some odd reason it is not showing up on the page, so I will just post it in my bio.
An extremely, tear jerking, mind blowing, wonderful literature, and expressing story that I honestly recommend for all of you to go check out. She has written numerous Harry/Draco stories that I have fallen in love with, but I just had to bring this story to other sites, but with a little rewriting to it.
Do not worry, Amanuensis did give me permission to do this, so do not fret.
Thank you!
Sami Potter
Gore, Rape, Extreme Murder, Maybe a little graphic, and also sex talk!
If you do not like then please DO NOT READ! I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH FLAMERS WHO CAN'T HANLDE A STORY!)
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am just borrowing the magical world the beautiful J.K Rowling brought to us.
My twenty-second birthday...
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(Harry's POV)
I sat in my cold, cubic center, watching as the last light of day sunk beneath my cell bars, watching as the dark engulfed my stone home. I felt the heat leave my body, drifting out through the small circular window along with the sun, sinking beneath the earth, waiting for another day. Never to be seen till the next decreeing pain of misery.
I didn't twitch as I felt the cold wave of heavens breeze push itself through the cell bars harboring me within, rotting myself away in hell, my solitude, as the air touched my bruised skin. Pain that will never leave me in the rotting hell it put me in.
I could feel the cold sign of bumps sprout over my ghostly white skin. I didn't even shiver. My body was so numb to pain now. I couldn't even feel it myself at times.
I hated nights. Leaving me to decrease to nothing more then human within my cell. Day-by-day, the images flying through my head as if preserved there for life. Seeing the blood on all their faces. Like seeing the blood now on my shoulder.
I didn't even blink as I felt the open wound of my shoulder start to twitch from the cold, prying the skin it found there. I tried to hold in my breath as I felt the crimson liquid fall from within me, and spread out through the open wound. I watched as it sunk into the worn fabric on my back. Staining it with my crimson, watching as it joined the other numerous blooded stains as well.
I don't know how long it's been since I've been able to feel the sun on my face. Feel the sun within my soul. My body is like darkness; night time in many ways. Never going to see sun within it, shining inside and lighting everything it touches. I don't know how long it's been since I was able to open my mouth without anything but a scream escaping from it. My throat was so dry; I hardly would have guessed I could have talked if given the chance.
But I did no one thing. Out of anything else that passed my mind without being the darken fears of my past, the presence of my brain, being deprived to the little sanity left that still burdened me.
Out of the pain I felt day-by-day. The hunger my stomach would feel from being stolen of its duty to eat. Feeling my own body start to feed itself from within me. The voices I would hear as the sun went down, taking away the only source of life I harbor in this cold, forsaken, stone cell blocking me from the essence of life. Not that there was any life out there for me to find.
Out of all that, I knew what today was. Today was my twenty-second birthday.
I tried to hold the grim pain that had just hit my chest. The pain of telling me one thing I knew was going to probably kidnap the rest of my sanity if there was any of it left there to begin with. It's already been three years since the pain started. The tears started to fall. The pain of the loved ones I miss so much.
Sirius, Hermione, Ron, Remus, The Weasleys, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Professor McGonagall- and Draco - even Hedwig.
There faces only to be preserved as memories within my head. The last moments of our happiness together, the last smiles that crossed their faces, the last laughter that erupted from their throats, the last pair of glowing eyes smiling at me. Only to be memories, fading away along with my sanity. Sinking beneath the earth, rotting away with there bodies.
I guess I should start my story somewhere. I never can get through it most of the time. Feeling the tears slide down my face, or the return of the Death Eaters coming to take me for another game of 'pain of play' or as they called it.
It had all started three years ago from today. All the pain, all the tears, all the cries for release. From within the first attack, to the last death -- the last coffin to be lowered into the ground. Rotting away, as I am now. Trapped within my own coffin, my own death, my cell.
Ron and Hermione..they had married right after graduation. Seeing no reason to wait. I wasn't surprised by the engagement. They were always one of the couples I always knew would find themselves halted at the alter. Both their families and myself thrilled for them. Ron - almost begging me to be his best man. Hermione - watching her walk down the isle with her father by her side. The kiss she had given me as a thank-you for always being there for her. They were beautiful together.
The baby coming a year after that. I will admit I wasn't to keen when Ron had approached me in the hospital, insisting my goddaughter be named after me. I don't think she would have been fond of the name Harriet. Hari for short. Even through all that happiness I knew there would be darkness to engulf it all.
Voldemort - showing up at the small house they had made their own loving home. I didn't expect it, if he wanted me, he would have come to my home, but he didn't. He wasn't going to make the same errors - not this time.
How Voldemort had found Ron and Hermione in the nursery while they had been feeding baby Hari. How he had stationed ten Death Eaters surrounding the home. Making sure the passengers inside would not be leaving alive.
How he had ordered four of the Death Eaters to seize Ron and little Hari, only five months old at the time. How he had assigned two more of the Death Eaters to take Hermione into her and Ron's bedroom. How they had rapped, tortured, gagged, and then killed her in the bedroom Ron and herself had conceived their child. How Ron, was forced to see her body after the damage. The damage of how he knew it was the end. How they made Ron's last sight, his dead wife, before they killed him as well.
The Aurors came to the house a week after Ron hadn't come into work. Smelling death the minute they stepped into the door. Seeing blood all over the nursery floor. How they had found Hermione's body over the bed, Ron's head next to his body rotting on the floor. How they had found baby Hari's body in the bathtub, her lungs, having been deprived of oxygen for over twelve hours.
Sirius and Remus...How I should have known Voldemort wouldn't give up on me this easily. He wanted just enough pain to conflict me with, just enough to haunt me at nights. How just after a month from the death of my best friends, a letter arrived at Sirius and Remus new flat. How a potion to the unknown was conceived within the envelope, how Sirius had been sleeping on the couch, how Remus, trying to let his last best friend consume the sleep he had been deprived of the last couple of nights, how he had opened the letter. The potion spilling over his hands. Within seconds the werewolf within the body of the man erupted through the skin. How the beast had found Sirius on the couch, how it had ripped him from limb to limb and swallowing the rest.
How Voldemort had showed up at the flat. Giving the antidote to Remus before he could attack him as well.
How he only let Remus livelong enough to know he killed his best friend. How Voldemort had given him another potion to spit the remains back up. How the only remains of Sirius was his blood stained into the floor for life. After that, he then proceeded to kill Remus. Once again the Aurors coming to his flat after he had not been showing up for work. Finding his body with several Muggle stab wounds from within the chest.
Dumbledore....How he had been walking back to his office after a fine meal in the Great Hall. How he had been in a cherry mood, humming slightly to himself. How he had mumbled the password through a Lemon Drop conceived within his mouth. That was before the faithful gargoyle that had been guarding his office for centuries, came alive from within its form. How it had jumped at Dumbledore, and bit his throat out before the elder man could even reach his wand.
McGonagall....how at the time of Dumbledore's attack, she had decided to take a night time stroll through the grounds in her animagus form. How the Death Eaters had seized her, before her cat instincts could sense their movement or even their presence for that matter. How they took her back to Voldemorts Head Quarters. How they had sent her body back to the school, still in animagus form, with a note attached saying - 'I really wanted to see if cats do hate water, guess it doesn't help when you chain them in it.'
Hagrid...How they had kidnapped him from Hogwarts as well, from within his own cabin to be exact. How they had put him to sleep with a curse so forceful he wouldn't have woken up if he depended on it.
They had dragged him back to Voldemorts Head Quarters as well as they had with McGonagall. They had taken him to a room with a huge bed, lined against the wall. After they had made sure he was completely tied up, and had no way of escaping, they had woken him up.
How Voldemort ordered exactly thirty Death Eaters into the room they kept him in. How they all stood around his bed in a semi-circle. How they all pulled their wands on him, and the last words Hagrid ever hearing was the cold sneer of Voldemort saying:
"I wonder how many curses we can send into his chest without it blowing him up?"
The Weasleys....How they had all been gathered at the house the day of Ron and Hermione's funeral. How the Death Eaters had ambushed them, breaking into the house. Arthur giving his own life right then and there to give his family time to escape from the house. How he ordered everyone to go upstairs and fly away on brooms, go somewhere, anywhere but here. Right as the family had fled for their safety, the door had burst open and after many cures flying through the elder living room, he was blown to pieces.
How Fred had only been a few ten inches from the ground before he fell dead from the curse aimed at him, stopping his heart almost instantly. How two Death Eaters had seized Mrs. Weasley, then Ginny. How they had taken them downstairs in the house, and gave them the similar treatment they had submitted Hermione to. How they had just left the bodies of the dead women, there on the same bed. Each being raped in the same bedroom, each getting the treat of watching each other die. While they had taken the only women of the house downstairs, they still had the remaining men.
How they had tied them all up to the walls in the room they had caught them in. (How they had all ran to Ron's room since it was the highest segment in the house.) The Death Eaters feeling generous enough, hadn't even bothered to curse them in any painful manner. The only torture they had to endure was the hissing of the Death Eaters guarding them within the room. Hissing in their faces that at that very moment there sister and mother were at the verge of death.
How, when the Death Eaters left the house, they didn't bother cleaning up the bodies of the women, or untying the men. The only thing that they had done was get distance between themselves and the house, before it was blown to ashes. All the occupants in Ron's room were the first to go, since the bombs had been implanted there.
Then - I didn't think I could re-tell this part of the story, but I knew I had to, more so, then the rest. This part is what ended me here. What had started this game. Everything that had been apart of me, and then had been taken from me through death.
Draco...That was a story all within itself. I'll never forget how that love had fallen upon us. How at my lame attempt to shut him up, I had done the complete opposite.
It had been the Gryffindor versus Slytherin final Quidditch match. I think I actual cried when I had caught that snitch. The last snitch I would ever be catching for my Gryffindor victory. The last snitch of my seventh year. I remember it all like it was yesterday.
I had urged my teammates to go back up to the Common Room without me. Giving them the lame excuse, I just needed some time to myself, which was all. They all were a little disappointed to get the party started without me, but finally, they had given into my pleas, and went back up without me accompanying them.
I wasn't lying, I did need to be alone. I remember walking solemnly out to the lake. Perching on a boulder near by as I gazed over the last remains of the sun still hanging beneath the clouds. Determined to fall, as the light began to shrink away from the grounds surrounding me.
How at that blissful moment, I didn't think anyone was approaching me. Having my feet soaking in the water, and my face lit by the sun, I almost didn't hear the insult that came flying at me from behind.
I remember how my eyes met his silver orbs as I turned around. How at that moment all the bliss that had taken me as its victim, sank away in the depths of the water before me.
"What do you want Malfoy -- here to sass me at your loss triumph, yeah well -- I'm not in the mood," I remember myself saying.
That's when I remember him start to rant and rave. Telling me that I was just some Gryffindor, sissy prat of a prick too much of a guilt to be burden with. How I was just the little boy within the brain of my head, how everyone took me as some sort of Savior of the world. How it was my little quest to be the "The-Boy-Who-Everyone-Loved." How it was me, the little prissy prick that landed his father in jail. How everything in his life that had gone wrong, was now my problem.
Somewhere in his attempted speech to defeat me, I had started to grow a headache over his voice. After about the third line of "you just want fame" I knew I had to shut him up.
I had tried to interrupt him numerous times, only to have him keep rambling on and on. I had tried to just walk away, but he kept following me, I had stopped that tactic, because every time I took a step, he would always find some sort of insult to hold me there, firm stiff in my place.
That's when I remember I really needed to get him to shut up. He seemed to be loosing his breath as he kept talking, kept ranting about how I'm two different people to the world. How my mission is to poison his family, and carry the burden that has desist itself over them. That's when I remember walking towards him, knowing this would be the only way to stop the steam of insults flooding down river into me.
Right as I was about a mere five inches away, I had thrown my lips onto his.
Meaning to only scare him, then shut him up, and have him walk away. Never to darken my shadow again.
I only did two out of three. Scared him, well yes I could have already told you that, from how rigid he went, shocked him, I don't think I've ever seen eyes go as big as his did.
But no, he had not walked away. In fact he then shocked me with his move.
Not by pushing me off him and then start to gag and spit everywhere, but to start kissing back.
The next thing I can remember was having my clothes thrown off my back, as me, doing the same to him. Our mouths still locked with nothing but moans, and hard breathing. That was when we found ourselves in the lake, both naked, both on top of each other, begging, almost pleading for the other to go faster until we both reached climax, the most peaceful release I had ever felt.
And then, through that climax the pain had started - the deaths came, the coffins were lowered, my sanity was taken.
I'll never forget it, never in my life, I can almost still hear the pleas of Draco. I can still see his face behind my closed eyelids at night. Can still feel his warm breath on my ear, whispering soft things to me. It had all started...
(Flashback)
We had been lying in our new flat. Lying on our new bed. Lying in the blissful act of the aftermath of love. Lying in our solitude, our own mines enwrapped in each other's arms. No one invading us, no one bugging us - it was just me and you.
You were lying on top of me. I could still you within me. We usual never left each other after we made love. Just the knowing fact that you were still inside me, was more then enough that I could stand.
I was too much in a remorse of peace, that you were the only one that had heard the doorbell sound throughout our flat.
I groaned as I felt you slip out of me, feeling cold without your warmth over me.
You smiled down at me before kissing my lips tightly to yours. Slightly running your tongue over my bottom lip. Little did I know that would be our last kiss, before the pain would start to show its true colors. I felt you pull away from me and whisper into my ear:
"I'll be right back love -- get ready for another round."
I smiled as you put on a pair of trousers before leaving the room.
I heard your footsteps die away after you were halfway down the hall. I sighed.
I would always get exhausted after days like these. On days where you and I would play hooky and stay in bed all day and make love. I had lost count of how many times today it had already been. I knew I shouldn't be counting, because I knew there was lots more to still come. I started to hear whispers echoing down from the hallways leading to the door.
Wondering who in Merlin could be at our house at twelve in the after-noon, I got up, and threw a pair of trousers on myself.
Right as I was tying them up, that's when I heard it. The scream that follows me into the nights, the scream that made sure I will never have the same sanity that I used to carry as a boy:
"HARRY!"
I didn't think my heart could jump as high as it did to your voice. But it certainly did.
I ran out of the room. My feet slipping from the friction between the hard board floor. I ran into the living room, looking for you, my eyes trapping the walls within my gaze. That was before I felt someone seize me from behind my arms. Whoever it was, they had been expecting me to fight them. That was why they then had three men start to surround me. One punching me, the other pulling my hair back, so that I was looking straight into the covered face of there masks. And the other holding my arms behind my head so hard, I thought I felt my elbow snap.
They let go of me. But I knew the pain wasn't over, I knew somehow I would end up like this. They had picked me up, almost unconscious at the time, from how hard they had been hitting my head. That's when I felt them throw me to the floor. That's when I opened my eyes, and saw your bloody face staring back at me.
"Harry," you whispered in a shiver. Your voice was so rough, I didn't know what had happened to you. It had only been ten minutes ago you were lying within me, enwrapped in my arms. And now I was here, lying next to you, enwrapped in your blood that I saw leaking from your waist. That's when I saw the knife lying a few feet from you. The tip covered with your blood. They had stabbed you.
"Look how cute they look Opius, to bad we can't watch them die together," sneered a voice behind me that I didn't recognize.
"As much as I would love that Gavet, we can't kill Potter."
"The Dark Lord just said to keep him alive - never said we couldn't hurt him a little -- "
"I already had my pleasure with Draco -- never knew Muggles created weapons so beautiful," said a voice right behind Draco. My head snapped up a little at the sneer. I knew that sneer anywhere, if given the chance I could hunt that sneer out by instinct, through a crowd of thirty.
"How about we stab Potter, then heal it - then let the Dark Lord have his fun with him?"
"If you kill him Gavet, its your body that will be replaced with Potters -"
"A stab to the leg won't kill him Lucius - just inflict him with pain to know what he has coming."
"Fine - I'll enjoy this," sneered the same voice.
I felt the presence behind me start to move. I saw the Death Eater that had held me, walk over to the knife. I closed my eyes before opening them again. I found myself looking back at you. I could now feel your blood starting to sink into the fabric on my back.
I tried to move, but I knew that would get us both killed if I tried anything rash. I then heard the scrapping of metal leave the floor, and for some reason I knew this was it. I just watched you as your eyes focused on me, shutting softly. I felt the Death Eater make his way around to my thighs. I felt him kneel down next to me from behind. I looked at you for what I knew would probably be the last loving look I would be able to give you and then I mouthed the words 'I love you.'
Right as I felt the tip of the cold blade touch my skin -
"NO!"
The entire room froze, including myself at your voice.
"What did you say?" asked the Death Eater holding the knife.
"No - please -d-don't hurt him," you croaked out. You were loosing too much blood. I felt my body go numb for a second before I knew what you were planning. Almost being able to hear your thoughts from within my own head. Your face was turning so pale.
"Really young Draco - you think we shouldn't hurt him, why is this?" sneered a Death Eater from behind him.
"Take me," you croaked again. Your face turning even paler, as was mine. You had to be kidding, you couldn't do this, I wouldn't let you.
"Pardon?"
"T-take me - l-leave H-Harry be, -- k-kill me."
"Draco no," I said, trying too move towards you, but being resulted in being hit in the back by someone other then the Death Eater holding the knife.
"Lucius -" asked a Death Eater from behind him. Approaching him slowly.
"Gavet - take him into the bedroom - NOW!"
"NO!" I screamed trying to sit up but resulting in once again, being kicked, square in the back.
"Shut up boy - your going next if you keep ranting."
"No - p-please don't touch him, please no, -- just take me to Voldemort, let Draco be!" I begged. I couldn't let them do this. Draco couldn't be serious. He wasn't in the right mind to know what was coming out of his mouth right now.
"Potter -- if not now, Draco will die anyway, today, right here, right now."
"Opius - gather Potter, I want him to watch something that used to be my son, walk into that bedroom and hear him die."
"NO - N-NO PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS!"
I felt someone walk forward, and gather me from off the floor. From away from you. I could still feel your blood on my clothes; I couldn't let them do this. They were trying to ruin us. I loved you, and you had just sacrificed your life for mine.
"W-Why are you d-doing this f-father -"
"YOU ARE NOT MY SON YOU PIECE OF SHITE -"
I watched as he walked forward and kicked you straight into your wound. The wound he had placed in you. I should have known. He wasn't hear on orders of Voldemort. He was here on orders of revenge. Revenge on his son -- revenge on me.
"Gavet - are you going to do this today or shall I?" he sneered as he inhaled, gesturing to the knife in his hands with an impatient manner. Trying extremely hard to calm himself from within.
"No - I beg of you, please - please have mercy on him."
I felt my mothers words start to form in my mouth as I felt the tears in my eyes fall as I repeated them. I felt my mother inside me, her words to protect me, as I repeated them to protect my loved one. I only knew one thing about this outcome. They weren't going to spare your life today, as her words had spared mine, the day she spoke them.
I watched as four of the unknown masked wreaths walked forward and picked you up. Roughly at first, clearly not caring about the stab wound now spearing blood everywhere over their hands.
"I l-love you Harry -" you whispered again, but I couldn't let this happen. It couldn't, I could feel the tears start to fall from my face in rivers.
"NO PLEASE - STOP THIS, PLEASE LUCIUS PLEASE!"
I tried to get up, but they grabbed me and held me down as I watched them lift you off the ground.
"Draco - please p-please," I felt myself choking on my own tears. This couldn't be happening. This had to be some ravenous dream.
"Harry -I-I'm g-going to die anyway -- t-this way I-I know I d-died for y- you -- s-see you in h-heaven m-my love."
(End flashback)
That had been the last time I saw your eyes. I had cried for days after that. Lucius had taken me to Voldemort, and the torture began. If it hadn't been for Voldemort, I wouldn't have known all the details about how my other loved ones died. That was one of the ways Voldemort let me sink into my own sanity. He had the Death Eater put the memories into their Pensieve and had me watch it.
Watched as they rapped Hermione - watched as they beheaded Ron - watched as Voldemort killed baby Hari by drowning her, her cries only to become silence after they had placed her within the water- watched as Remus spit out the blood of Sirius - watched as Dumbledore's throat was ripped out - watched as they put McGonagall into a metal box, and lower her into the water, her twists and hisses soon coming to silence as well- watched as they shot so many curses into Hagrids chest, his heart blew within, sending blood everywhere - watched as they killed Mr. Weasley with one curse -- rapping Ginny and Mrs. Weasley - watched as they tied the remaining lot of Ron's brother's up, and then - watched as the house they had made there loving home over the years -- blow up.
I had to watch it all, and that's how I saw their faces in my head at night.
I may not of had to watch them kill Draco, but they had made me do something worse then that. Some how I knew they must have been planning this scheme from the start, after Draco's pleas to save me.
After they had left our room that day, they had brought out with them the sheets to our bed. Draco's blood covering almost every white part of the wool cotton. And that is what they made as my clothing. They made our bed sheets from our bed, bed sheets Draco and me had made love on, bed sheets they killed Draco on, bed sheets they let him spill his blood over, those bed sheets were the clothes that have been harvested on my back for three years now. That's how I knew Draco was always with me.
I remember when they had found Hedwig. They didn't tell me how they had killed her, they just brought her to me.
I remember Voldemorts cold sneer as he said to me: "I'll be nice today Harry - you'll get to eat, a full meal, a fresh meal, and I know you'll eat it, because I won't let you die with an empty stomach and plus unless you don't eat it, you won't be getting another meal again."
I remember as they threw her into my cell. A little blood on her feathers - but Voldemort was right about one thing, I did eat it.
The torture had been as bad as I had expected it to be. But by now Voldemorts little rapes, curses, and more sessions of watching the Pensieve were numb to me. The number of times I felt someone push into me that wasn't Draco, the number of times I felt a curse hit my body, and the number of times I've had to watch everyone I know die before me. It was all numb to me now. Even my stomach - only being able to eat twice a week, was numb to its pain also.
Even through all that - I still couldn't die. Voldemort made sure of that. He wanted me alive to see the world, as it rotted away. Just as much how to anyone who talked to me was as good as dead.
And even through all that - through all the deaths I've seen - all the blood I've seen - all the coffins I've watched be lowered into the ground - all the screams and pleas of my loved ones - the dry blood I carry on my back from my lover.
Even through all that I still knew, today was the day that started it all. Knowing that my death may never come as peaceful as I want, or as soon as I want it. But even still...
The day I was born to the world. The date that had killed everyone I love. People - who would give me the actual time of day to love me. But even still they were all dead now, rotting (or what's left of some of them) within their coffins, sunken into the ground. But still today was the day..
Today was my twenty-second birthday.
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If you are going to flame me because of the following reasons:
This story had too much gore
This story was sad
It wasn't accurate
It couldn't happen
You are a sick person who needs help
Then please take your flames elsewhere. I really don't want to have to deal with people who aren't mature enough to read a fan fiction. If you didn't like, then you shouldn't have read. You were warned.
Also - I would like all of you to know I don't want all the credit for this story. Yes some of it is my work, but I got the idea from another author I'd like to mention to you all.
Amanuensis, who I found at another Fanfiction Website which to, is an Draco/Harry dedicated Website to Slash, also involving other numerous pairings that I highly enjoyed reading.)
If any of you would like to see Amanuensis original story this plot it is called 'One Piece of Parchment.'
Please check my Bio if you wish to see the URL to this story. For some odd reason it is not showing up on the page, so I will just post it in my bio.
An extremely, tear jerking, mind blowing, wonderful literature, and expressing story that I honestly recommend for all of you to go check out. She has written numerous Harry/Draco stories that I have fallen in love with, but I just had to bring this story to other sites, but with a little rewriting to it.
Do not worry, Amanuensis did give me permission to do this, so do not fret.
Thank you!
Sami Potter