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Chapter 15

Nora drove slowly home her mind still reeling from what had happened at the mansion between her and Edward. She was relieved that he had asked her back - at least he hadn't been completely put off by her forward behavior. She didn't know what had come over her. It wasn't like her to act that way. It was just that his incredible gentleness and the understanding in his voice had been too much for her still tender emotions. At some level she was still grieving over Bryan and she longed for someone to comfort her. Still she couldn't use Edward that way. There was no way she would do that. He must have had enough heartache of his own over Kim. She shook her head slowly at the thought. The words to a song drifted through her head - "what becomes of the broken-hearted?..." Broken-hearted. That's what she was. That's probably what Edward was too. God, she wished she could help him too.

But she was filled with other feelings too. She was feeling a very strong attraction to Edward fueled by his compassion and quiet, gentle ways as well as her own empathy toward him. She wondered if this attraction was because of her own vulnerability as well his sad situation and nothing more... or if there was something else.

She arrived home and let herself into her apartment. It was dark and quiet. Throwing her keys on the table she made her way to her bedroom without turning on any lights. When she finally lay down in her bed she found she was still wide awake. As she lay in the dark, filled with loneliness and longing, she remembered being held by Bryan. She remembered the warmth of his body when they were together and how often she had heard the beating of his heart when she lay her head against his chest. Quietly tossing back the sheet that covered her, she sat up on the edge of her bed. From there she could reach the bottom drawer of her dresser and slowly she pulled it open. The darkness was like a protecting presence as she reached inside the drawer and felt to the bottom of the stack of clothes that were folded inside. She took out one of her shirts that she kept there. Pressing it to her face she breathed in the smell. The musky, distinct smell of Bryan still lingered on the shirt, captured there when the heat of their bodies melded together. A few tears wet the shirt and a small sob escaped her. Why couldn't he have loved her the way she had loved him, she agonized for the thousandth time? She closed her eyes for a moment and then put the shirt away. Despite all that had gone on between them she missed him none the less. She missed his body if nothing else.

Laying back down in bed she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to press her lips against Edwards. What would he do, how would he respond? It didn't mean she would do such a thing but it was ok to think about it when she was all alone at night. No one would ever know about such a thought because no one could. A thought like that was completely her own, she thought to herself as she drifted off to sleep.

After Nora left, Edward looked out into the night from the broken window, the soft breeze ruffled his hair and it instantly brought to mind the feel of her fingers in his hair just minutes before. He listened for the last traces of the sound of her car driving off, but the song of the mockingbird drowned out the distant noise. Turning back inside he made his way to his bed and slowly lowered himself into the familiar comfort of it. He lay for awhile trying to sleep but he began to feel ragingly hot - the uncomfortable warmth seeming to originate from somewhere deep inside his body. He clawed at the neck of his clothing in an attempt to cool himself, nicking his throat and the skin under his chin. He felt the familiar wetness as drops of blood spilled over onto his skin.

Turning onto his side, he fell into a restless sleep and dreamed of a bird alighting next to him as he looked out the window waiting for Nora. He turned toward the bird and saw that it had Nora's eyes. Without thinking he reached out to it and it fluttered into the darkness of the mansion.. Earnestly but gently he followed it. He just wanted to help it find it's way out but the closer he seemed to come to it the more he heard it crashing about. He felt his chest tightening with anxiety and, tossing about in his bed, the dream receded as he began to wake up.Somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, his eyes still closed, he suddenly became aware of the scent of Nora. His eyes flew open as he realized she must have been there in his bed earlier in the day! But when - when had she been there? Lying on his back, his mind still hazy with sleep, he stared up into the darkness. When she was up here looking at the storm! Suddenly he was afraid of what she'd seen and what she must think but riding right on the heels of the fear was a strange unexplainable, exhilaration. She had seen what was the most private part of him. The most intimate part of his existence. So many of his hopes, dreams, and the longings of his very soul lay scattered about in those clippings and pictures. And she had been there and seen them. He remembered how shaken she had been at the bottom of the stairs. Had it been from the storm or from what she had seen here? That there might be someone who had glimpsed this private part of him and somehow understood! He felt his eyes filling with tears. A thousand times before he had instinctively reached with his scissors toward his eyes as if he could wipe the tears away even though at the same time he knew that he would hurt himself as he had always done - the proof of this in the array of tiny scars scattered across his face. But this time he stopped before his scissors touched his skin. His eyes slowly focused on them as they stopped midway to his face and he studied them, as if for the first time, in the dim moonlight. He felt the tears make a path from the corner of his eyes down the sides of his face until they reached his ears. He thought again of Nora and tried to imagine what she had felt when she had been there. Maybe she had sensed the hope and the pain that he so often felt as he lay here at night. Whatever she had felt, a part of him was hers now. He closed his eyes, breathing in her smell. He was feeling drunkenly tired now but a strange elation mixed with his anxiety as he fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

Author's Note: Hi, it's been awhile. I hope I still have your attention. Most of all I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think.