Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: -sigh- It's been a long, long time, hasn't it?

But, aside from this, I have a Disillusionment almost side story thing done, maybe to be posted, we'll see. It's either an alternate ending type thing or the real ending. We'll see.

For now, enjoy! It's a short chapter but I slaved over this!

Dedication: To my Yuki, whom I've finally found again. You're never gonna be rid of this Shuichi, so better get used to it...again! xDDD


Disillusionment

Chapter 17-Difficulties

soumanyon


Over the next few weeks, things were crazy for Bad Luck.

Not only did Shuichi have to deal with two of his bandmates ignoring each other, he'd virtually sold his soul to the devil; in other words, make a deal with Tohma Seguchi. He had promised Tohma that he'd tell Yuki right after their concert series.

It was a weekend thing, with shows scheduled Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Shuichi would tell Yuki after it was all done so that he could go through with what would be his farewell concerts…not that anyone would know.

It had taken a lot of persuading and more than a little help from Ryuichi, but Tohma finally agreed and that was one thing off of Shuichi's list of worries.

It seemed as if his condition was getting worse by the day. He couldn't take the stairs without having to make three or four stops, so he stuck to the elevators. The breaks they took in recording got longer and longer but K, to everyone's surprise, was infallibly patient.

Some nights it got so bad that Shuichi had had to stay after at work hours after every else had left out of fear of going home. He didn't want to break it to Yuki yet, so asking his lover to take breaks during sex wouldn't be something that he could explain away easily.

Right when Shuichi wanted to treasure his remaining time, it seemed the world was working against him. Neither Hiro nor Suguru wanted to see each other much less be in the same room together. Hiding the secret from Yuki meant spending more and more time away from him. And even Ryu had become distant after that confusing encounter in the park.

Some days, Shuichi wanted to pull on his hair and shriek. But he didn't have the breath for it anymore.

Finally, the days inched past until Friday.

Luckily, the songs that Suguru had chosen for their lineups weren't too bad. There were some difficult ones but those were mixed in with the easier ones. Shuichi reminded himself to thank the kid for his consideration.

Friday didn't go too bad. There had been some trouble spots but not enough to make anyone suspect more than a sore throat or light cold. Other than fainting a few times, it went smoothly.

The first time he fainted, Hiro and Suguru had panicked. Then they realized that he wasn't hurt, just past his endurance. Shuichi had gotten up to play the next leg of the concert. But in the next break, he fainted again and that time, it took him considerably longer to wake up. Suguru was getting worried that he wouldn't revive in time. But Shuichi didn't fail them.

The last time was when the concert was over. And that time, Shuichi didn't wake up. They had to carry him back to Hiro's apartment where he spent the night. Yuki didn't question it.

"Hiro…" Suguru murmured. It was the first time he'd spoken directly to the brunette without outside provocation since their fateful night together, weeks ago.

"It's okay." The guitarist replied, voice cool, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted so harshly."

His tone was apologetic but it didn't indicate a wish to continue the conversation. Suguru returned to his own dressing room, eyes downcast.

"Hey Hiro," Shuichi called, one eye slitted open from where he dozed on his makeup chair, "Why're you being such a bastard to the guy?"

Hiro rolled his eyes at his friend's simple view of the world. "Because," he muttered, "because I'm straight."

A muffled snort. Hiro glared in his friend's direction, even as another can of hairspray was applied to his hair. Ah well, at least it wasn't as bad as Shuichi's costume. This one played up the singer's effeminacy more than any of the others so far. It was either a long white tunic or a simple white gown, depending on who you asked.

Shuichi defended it as a tunic even as Hiro waved evidence in his face in the form of snapshots of the various occasions where he'd taken a liking to the opposite sex's wardrobe.

They verbally sparred until the call came for them to get on stage. Shuichi paced nervously back and forth as their opening act wrapped up their last song. The applause was decent and Shuichi reminisced back to when they, he and Hiro, had played tiny gigs at unknown clubs or school dances. Hard to believe that they'd come so far. Apparently they would be playing to a full house.

"…and Shuichi Shindou." His cue. Shuichi leapt on stage in a brilliant flare of pyrotechnics.

"Of Bad Luck!"

They launched into a spirited rendition of Spicy Marmalade followed by Jounestu Ballad and some old favorites. The audience ate it up and begged for more.

A pair of golden eyes watched the bright figure dancing back and forth on stage. A tiny smirk quirked the corner of his lips. Shuichi was a natural.

Halfway through, Nittle Grasper joined them and the two bands played a few songs together, a scene that made half the fangirls in the audience faint of delight. Personally, Yuki thought that a particular Ryuichi Sakuma was getting a little too close to Shuichi to even be excusable by fanservice, but that was only his opinion. None of the girls in the audience seemed to mind.

Finally, they finished the last song by Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck. It was a new NG single, something called Bird(1). Yuki grudgingly admitted that the lyrics were a pretty piece of work. Maybe that Ryuichi did have some amount of talent. They were filled with such longing.

Apparently, it hadn't been on the program because Shuichi looked bewildered. After a couple choruses, he caught on and joined in but Yuki personally thought the pair spent a little too long staring into each others' eyes.

He would've imagined the Grasper vocalist to be too immature to even comprehend the idea of stealing someone else's boyfriend but then again, apart from the Kumagorou-toting Ryu-chan, there was Ryuichi Sakuma, the vocal genius that was the heart behind Nittle Grasper. Who knew what the man was capable of behind that doll-like face?

Yuki was almost too distracted to realize that the last break had been too long and that neither of the bands were to be seen. During most of the breaks, at least one of them had come out to amuse the audience but no one this time, and the fangirls were getting restless.

When Tohma finally came out on stage, Yuki knew there was something wrong.

He stood in the middle of the stage directly under the lights, a spot usually reserved for Ryuichi or Shuichi. His hat was tucked under one arm and there was the tiniest crack in his composure, invisible to anyone who didn't know him as well as Yuki.

When he spoke, he looked in Yuki's direction, pale aqua green gaze seemingly piercing through rows and rows of impatient fangirls.

"Due to...difficulties, I'm afraid the rest of the concert has been cancelled."

He paused, waiting for the disappointed shrieks to settle down.

"As has the one tomorrow night."

Yuki's heart sank and he was out of his seat immediately and rushing towards the front of the hall. It must have looked weird; a grown man with sunglasses inside pushing his way through a hall full of teenage fangirls. But he didn't care.

"I'm sorry."

Seguchi's last comment rattled through his soul.

Something was seriously wrong.


tbc...
A/n: The long-awaited "Yuki finds out" is finally nigh. Is it to be imagined? I do believe so.

(1) Bird, a Gravi song sung by Seki Tomokazu, Shuichi's awesome voice actor. This song is arguably one of my favorite Gravi songs and the lyrics are so sad and fitting, I think.

Anyway, look it up, if you've never heard it!


REVIEWS:

I really have to make it up to you guys, for sticking with me, the slowest writer in the Gravi fandom, most likely. I can't believe your dedication. How can I make it up to you guys? Christmas fic? fanart? What? let me know, really. I need to thank you guys, all these reviews make me so guilty for taking so long!

Anyway, thank you for always sticking by me. You guys so rock (if you don't already know that.)

Thank you for always taking that minute or two to type a little note, even if it's something short like "good job" or "keep it up" or just "update!" it's always appreciated.

Thanks!


A. Person and a half: Yay, old reviewer! chapter 9...haven't gone back through, nope, not after I wrote it. Not my style, thank you very much. Yuki finds out! FINALLY, right? after so long. lol, yeah, Disillusionment is a fic of cliffies..they just come out of me in this fic, I don't know why? I did consider taking it down or putting it on indefinite hiatus but once in a while, the mood strikes me to work on it. Fond nostalgia, I guess, of the old days when Gravi fandom was maybe 2000 fics and everyone knew everyone else. Ah, those were the days, ne?

Dark Wryder: Yay, another old reviewer. Mwah. Welcome back! YuShu, yes, of course. This is Disillusionment. This is definitely YuShu. As for the happy ending thing...eh...jury's still out on that one. We'll see what my muse decides to write.

suckers love: write like me! xD here's the trick: just start typing. And see what comes out. That's how I do it, by blundering. And I think it shows.

Mischa Kitsune: no Mary Sues...xDDD Nope, and never will. -shudder- if I ever sink to thank, please steal K's gun and shoot me. I'm counting on you for that. Plot holes...eeeck...yeah. First fic and all, I think I jumped in too quickly, but thank you, for saying that it was overall okay. That's all I can ask for and thank you! Come back and review sometime...missed you. You're one of my oldest reviewers, eh? Glad you've stuck with me so long!

crazyinmind: Cry? Really? I'm sorry you cried! I bet you're not a wuss! lol, update, here

i love athrun: I love Athrun too! xD Although I love Izak more, I think. The psychoness gets me...like Ryuichi!

Ranma064: HiroxSuguru...ooh, I feel guilty for only hinting at them. I feel like now that I've put so much into the pairing, I should incorporate them more but what can I say, Shu's a spotlight hog. -snicker- Yay for HiroxSuguru shipper!

bloodykitsune435: chewing the computer! please unplug it first! I don't want to responsible for killing a reader!

Aacire: nope, definitely not forgetting this! It was my first baby! My firstborn, my eldest. I love it to death even though it's frustrating.

SnarkyKat: Doom...in all caps. Eeps, should I go run and hide, too?

Yuri Yuki: whoa, that's where K's guns went! hehe, okay, I'm writing, I'm writing!

depth-orca: Hehe, that's a lot of really's! I'll try, thanks!

halfdemon-gurl15: Shuichi...sort of tells him, I guess! Hehe. Thank you for the praises.

FragileSwiftWing: Yay, another supporter of HiroxSuguru! Aren't they cute? Not as cute as YuShu but very cute nonetheless.

Ashcat: I love your review! It's so uplifting. You're so good at complimenting. I think I'm blushing. I agree that my writing style matures. (I'd hope so, after 2 years with this fic) In character? Really? lol, thanks... That farewell concert is a couple chapters off though. This was "supposed" to be it but as per obvious reasons, that gets put off. I can't wait either. I've had that song written for...about three years now!

Fwoggie: Shuichi um... "tells" Yuki. Ahem. Awesome? Erm, no...but it makes me happy that you think so! Thanks!

Lecta1313: Haha, thank Jess for me for pointing out a very nice reviewer, then. I'm glad you love it! Thank you so much!

silverskyeangel: 3am! Dearie, you need to get some sleep! And don't be depressed, it's just a story! Shuichi's fine in real life, right? hehe. The ending is a mystery, even to me! Erm...as for the HiroxShu pairing that you asked about, well, not in this fic. I'm fond of it, it's strongly hinted at the end of one of my Gravi oneshots, From the Beneficent Spider, but Disillusionment is pretty much strictly YuShu. Glad you love HiroxSuguru! I love that it's catching on, finally! Remove the fic? No, no! I'm definitely finishing!

animeanimal: Violent!Yuki isn't my favorite persona either...I think he's left that behind. I think Yuki's just a big softie at heart, hehe!

Shadowfox13: How they find out...well, that question's answered, right? How they react...that'll be interesting, I think.

Kashoku1: Thank you! I'll try from now on.

Yami Chikara: Depressing...I know. I hope it'll end happily, too!

Quack says the duck: thank you! Haha, you stuck out a spider for me? lol, I don't think I'd have the guts to. Yuck

M33333333h: I think it's original...at least when I first posted the fic a long, long time ago, hehe.

Sammuri Kitty: Thank you for all the comments! Yeah, I'm a comma freak, still am. Argh. I just stick commas everywhere! But I love you're comments that said that my style is improving. I think I agree, if that doesn't sound vain. But I'm glad you stuck out the rougher chapters! Thank you very much!

Yoyo: originality and talent...hehe, sure, long as you don't go back through and read the first ten chapters or so!

Fleaur: Ew, I know, incomplete. For now, that is. It'll be finished...sometime...in the future. hehe, I just take my time, I guess.

junglebunny: really, best? lol thanks... As for Shu/Ryu, I don't mind it but we won't see that this fic. Maybe some one sided Ryu/Shu, but that's about as far as it goes. I be a major YuShu fan too.

Eve: sadistic lover of angst, hehe, reminds me of me! Updating...hehe, erm, that's one of my major flaws. But I do guarantee that I'll finish, so I suppose that's a plus? -hugs back- thanks

Cute and Fluffy: Awww...your review was a very nice warm fuzzy, thank you! Two years? Has it really been that long? Wow...

KagomeGirl21: Poor Yuki! And poor Shu too, ne?

Ang3l-Dark3n: Yup, K's a tamer now, as it should be. Yuki will be getting loads of angst soon enough, poor guy.

windchaser90: I don't know myself it he'll live or die. We'll see! But, as you see, Shuichi doesn't really, ahem, "tell" Yuki. More like he shows him


Wow...is there anything else to be said? Just...wow.