Disclaimer: Wtf is that? I don't even know what that is.
'thoughts' telepathy
Pan: 17 Marron: 18 Bra: 16 Trunks: 18 Goten: 18 Uub: 18 Mandy: 17
Chapter 14: I'm a Man! Men Don't Need Water…"Pan."
Pan squirmed and attempted to ignore the annoyingly familiar voice.
"Pan! GET UP NOW! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS?!"
"Oh, FRICK!" Pan leapt up with fright, looking for a fire or a large meteor. "What is it?!"
"PROM! ARE YOU RETARDED?!" Bra screamed, disbelievingly.
Pan looked over at her alarm clock; 6AM blinked at her with harmless red letters. "I freakin' hate you."
"Do I look like I care? You have fifteen minutes to get up, showered, and ready to go!"
"Go where? I have FOURTEEN FREAKIN' HOURS 'til the stupid dance, so piss off!"
Pan rolled over and snuggled back into her pillows. She didn't have time to get quite settled, though, because the pillows were ripped violently away, and her bed was kicked five feet across the carpet. She slowly got up and rubbed her eyes. Bra, still in the doorway, was twitching in irritation.
"Okay, okay, I'm awake now…ugh."
"Good."
The new cheery voice followed by a brilliant smile told Pan she was safe for only a matter of time. It made no difference- she knew the deal. Today would be a horribly long day with horribly idiotic beauticians and horribly girly nails. She wanted to find a box-cutter so she could make Bra swallow it, but she controlled herself. She would go along with her best friend's devices of torture just this once more.
"And how the heck did you get into my house…?"
--
Uub was laughing so hard that he didn't know which way was up. Marron told him to raise his right hand; his left hand shot up like a nerd's in elementary school. They weren't really sure what he was laughing about (even he didn't really know). All they knew was that Uub was rolling around on the ground, and Marron was hoping that she didn't see anyone she knew.
"The mammoth died…haha…with food still in its mouth!" Uub breathed, holding his middle.
The mall was not a place to let one's guard down! They had…enemies. One's reputation could be ruined- torn, pillaged, plundered, utterly destroyed, annihilated, buried, dead, and gone before one could even know they were screwed. Marron scanned the corridor one last time before kicking Uub in the ribs.
"C'mon! I actually like my life here, and I'd appreciate it if I didn't have to move to Canada to escape the irreparable damage to my reputation."
"Yeah," Uub agreed as Marron rolled her eyes. "Canada sucks…"
--
"Tux or no tux?"
They both looked at each other and grinned. "TUX!"
"I'm James Bond, hoes!" Trunks shouted to some seagulls outside his windowsill.
"And who does that make me?" Goten asked hopefully.
"I'm sorry, Goten- there can only be one Bond."
"That's not what your mother said in Trebec."
"Oh, shut it! I so own Sean Connery….The old man's got nothin' on me. I'm a better Bond than he could ever dream of being."
"Pfft, whatever," Goten retorted.
"In fact," Trunks continued, "Sean Connery wishes he were half the man I am."
"But you're not even a man!"
"Hey, don't be jealous," Trunks countered, rubbing the slight stubble on his chin. "Just go buy a beard if you want one so badly."
"Ha. I don't need man-hair to be considered manly," Goten said, defensively rubbing his smooth chin. "In fact, I'll bet Sean Connery would still be sexier than you even if he decided to shave his legs!"
"Heck no! I'd top him any day. The ladies all know I'm still number one on their Christmas list," Trunks claimed.
"Yeah, but they'd still only wanna have Sean Connery's kids," Goten reminded him.
"Fine, fine."
"I mean, the guy's my idol. He's just so cool! Shoot, I'd marry him."
Vegeta just happened to be walking by Trunks' room at that exact moment.
"Hey, Vegeta," Goten greeted, hoping he hadn't heard that last sentence.
Vegeta sent him a disgusted glance and continued without a word.
"Wait- I can explain!" Goten called after him.
"Save it," Vegeta said. Trunks laughed, seeing his father's smirk.
"You know just as well as I do that you wouldn't mind having Sean Connery's kids."
--
When Bra and Pan arrived at the beauty parlor, Marron was already under a hairdryer. Uub was sitting in a chair across from her. He was sleeping soundly, to Pan's amusement. (She immediately pointed and laughed at the drool on the corner of his mouth.)
"Ah, there you two are!" Marron said, a bit loudly, after looking up from her magazine. She clearly couldn't hear well under the dryer. "What took you so long?"
"Ask Pan," Bra replied, giving her friend a hostile look.
"Hey, I agreed to go, but I wasn't expecting to have to wake up before the sun rose," Pan grunted.
"Well, how long did you expect the beautification process to take? Five minutes?" Bra snorted.
"Well, I didn't think it would take SIX HOURS, that's for sure."
Uub yawned obnoxiously. He opened his eyes to glare at the two of them.
"Hey, hey, just in case you didn't notice, I'm trying to SLEEP."
"That's nice," Bra said, completely waving him off. "Anyway, Pan, wait here."
Pan plopped down in a chair in front of a sink miserably.
"Pan, you're such a loser," Uub chuckled.
"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Pan asked grumpily.
"What kind of girl doesn't like to get all prettied? You get your hair done, nails done, make-up done, all that crap…You don't even have to do it yourself. I should be the miserable one! This whole thing just plain sucks for me."
"Dude, Uub, I don't care. I'm just sitting here trying to figure out why I agreed to go through with this in the first place…"
"Because you want to look pretty for Trunks?"
Pan laughed.
"Why? He never tries to look pretty for me."
Uub rolled his eyes and attempted to go back to sleep.
Bra returned with a black-haired woman named Lana. Pan didn't care how kind or downright perfect Lana was- there was simply no way on God's green earth that she was letting Lana touch her hair.
"Pan, now you're just pissing me off! Now sit down before I taser you!"
Pan huffed and slumped back into the overly large chair. She glared at her blue-haired friend.
"Whatever…"
She sent Bra another look that said "If this whore screws up my hair, I'll punch you in the uterus". Pan hadn't had a haircut in ages, and it showed. Spit ends dominated the last inch of her waist-length hair, and her bangs had grown down to her chin.
"Don't worry- I'll fix you right up!" Lana chirped with honest enthusiasm. She flinched slightly upon seeing the messy bun and unkempt bangs but accepted the challenge willingly. Heck, nothing was impossible for Lana…not even the nest on top of Pan Son's head.
Next time:
The night is born, and the prom arives!