Title: Bare
Author: Edele Lane
E-mail: [email protected]
Rating: R
Warning: Some slash here, so turn away now if you're not into that sort of thing.
Disclaimer: Everything "Alias"-related does not belong to me. It belongs to J.J. Abrams and probably 900 other people associated with him.
Archive: Nowhere yet, but if you want it, take it and then e-mail me so I'll know.
Feedback: Please;x
Pairing: Syd/Lauren (Hey, someone had to do it;x)
Spoilers/Timeline: General season three. If you live under a rock, then I guess you have no idea that Vaughn's married. Shame, really. This story takes place sometime after "Reunion."
Summary: "Things were different now. They had both bared their souls, and there was nothing left to hide."
Dedication: This is for Ash who reads each part before it is posted here and is undoubtedly my best (and favorite) critic.
A/N: This just sort of came to me late last night (like, eleven), and I wrote most of it then. I get most of my inspirations at night, so blame my muse if this, you know, made you end up worshipping the porcelain god or whatever;x

Bare

Sydney slammed and locked the door to her room in the safehouse.


Lauren knocked several times, urging Sydney to let her in.


Sydney didn't answer, choosing instead to perch herself on the bed, her back against the headboard, her legs drawn up to her chest. Her pants were torn and bloody, as was her shirt. She touched her left cheekbone where a closed fist had connected hard.


She winced.


Despite everything, she was more or less no worse for the wear.


She was alive.


And, as much as she hated to admit it, Lauren had had a great deal to do with it.


The two of them had been assigned a mission to infiltrate a facility of the Covenant. The mission was to locate a member of the group and apprehend him to bring him in for questioning.


Sydney was dispatched alone while Lauren monitored security cameras and spoke to Sydney on comm to direct her to where the man was and where guards were stationed.


Sydney had grimaced every time she heard Lauren's voice in her ear.


She knew she had no right to hate Lauren.


So she had married the man she loved.


No big deal.


Yeah right.


It wasn't her fault, anyway—Sydney was dead. In a way, Sydney still felt like she was dead. The light in her life of darkness was gone forever and she couldn't do anything about it.


Instead, she had to go to work everyday and see Lauren and Vaughn together, smiling and happy, looking for all the world like they were two people deeply, utterly in love.


And they were.


Sydney knew it, but she couldn't accept it—didn't want to accept it.


Sydney swiped at her eyes, angry at her tears.


Lauren was knocking on the door again, harder this time.


"Sydney, open up!"


Sydney fought the urge to tell her to fuck off. She stared at the door, recalling the mission again.


When she had gotten to the room with the man she was supposed to apprehend, she found herself ambushed. People had been hiding underneath tables and in adjacent rooms that didn't have cameras in them.


She was tied up and beaten.


She remembered Lauren's gasp of utter horror when one of the men struck the first blow. It struck her as odd—it seemed like Lauren actually *cared* about what was happening to her.


Why would Lauren care when Sydney had been such a raving bitch to her?


Sydney shifted and nearly yelped, remembering that she had also taken several kicks to the stomach and chest.


It hurt to breathe.


Ironic.


Sydney had tried to block out Lauren's panic and attempted to focus on what was going to happen to her. She had looked up at the men, shaking, fearing what they would do to her.


One man had backhanded her across the face, and Sydney had cried out when the ring on one of his fingers sliced open the skin above her right cheekbone.


She touched her fingers to the cut now, almost amused at the sight of her blood on her fingertips. Something about having to be seemingly invincible, then having someone reaffirm that she was anything but invincible made Sydney feel alive.


Lauren was knocking again.


Bitch.


Sydney shut her eyes tight. Lauren had saved her life, truly, she had. She had gone from desk jockey to field agent in the time it took her to run to the room where Sydney was being held.


She had created a distraction, Sydney knew that much. She also knew that it had been in the form of a small explosion, and that every person in the room, save one lowly guard keeping watch, had left as quickly as possible to determine the source.


Lauren managed to sneak into the room and dispose of the lone guard with several shots to the chest with her handgun.


Sydney caught the look of shock and regret that had passed over Lauren's features when the man finally slumped to the ground.


It was obvious that Lauren had never killed anyone before. Sydney understood what she must have been going through, because there had been a time when she, too, had still been innocent in that regard.


Lauren had rushed over, giving Sydney a quick up and down as if to quickly assess the extent of her injuries.


Sydney had bristled under her gaze.


Lauren had swiftly untied the ropes that bound Sydney and Sydney had rushed out of the room, leaving Lauren there. Lauren followed, trying to keep up with Sydney as best as she could.


Sydney purposely made that impossible.


She sprinted as fast as she could with pain shooting through her entire body and making her eyes water, blurring the world in front of her.


More irony.


Sydney reached the van first and jumped into the driver's seat. She waited impatiently for Lauren, whom she believed was moving as slowly as possible.


"About fucking time," she muttered under her breath when Lauren finally leaped into the passenger's seat.


"Just drive," Lauren had said, in that horribly thick undefinable accent she had.


Sydney fixed Lauren with a death glare which Lauren returned, possibly with more intensity than was in Sydney's.


She drove.


Within minutes, they arrived at a safehouse. It was rather small, but it had two bedrooms.


Sydney had chosen one and locked the door behind her when she entered.


Lauren was knocking again.


"Sydney, please! I just want to see if you're all right, let me in!"


Jesus, hold your fucking horses.


Sydney stared hard at the door. She tangled her fingers in her messy hair, then got up. She stood near the door as Lauren's shouts and knocking persisted. She leaned her head against the door, then pulled back, seeing the stain of her blood on the white door.


Lauren wasn't knocking anymore.


Finally.


Sydney heard her footsteps down the hall and figured she went into the kitchen. She narrowed her eyes and roughly unlocked the door and threw it open.


She figured it was loud enough for Lauren to have heard.


Unless she's fucking deaf.


She wandered back over to her bed, curling up on it again, drawing her knees to her chest and staring straight ahead. She rocked back and forth, unsure why, exactly, but somehow finding a sense of calm in it.


It helped take her mind off of Lauren coming to her rescue.


The whole event left a bad taste in her mouth. Lauren, of all people, had been the person to save her from what was undoubtedly certain death.


She felt like she would be indebted to Lauren forever now.


She figured Lauren would be smug, telling Vaughn about what had happened, and smirking when he told her how grateful he was and following that up with a hug and kiss, all of which would probably be done right before Sydney's eyes, leaving her to look down at the floor, and think about what could have been if she were the one in Lauren's shoes.


It hurt.


Sydney couldn't even believe just how *much* it hurt. She would never get over Vaughn.


Never.


She felt her lower lip begin to tremble and cursed inwardly. She was stronger than this, she knew she was.


And yet, maybe she wasn't.


She clenched her hands into fists by her sides, digging her nails into her palms.


She didn't hear Lauren come in and she barely acknowledged her when she placed a steaming cup of tea on the bedside table.


She watched Lauren out of the corner of her eye when she turned her back, walking over to the window. Sydney pursed her lips, her eyes narrowed, and watched as Lauren leaned slightly against the wall and peeked out the curtain.


She wanted to ask her what she was looking at. She didn't care, it was just that her curiosity was getting the better of her and she longed to know what the hell was so damn interesting.


She stretched her legs out in front of her and crossed her arms over her chest.


"What are you looking at?"


Lauren jumped a bit at the sound of Sydney's voice, and Sydney felt the urge to smirk.


"Do you have a problem with me looking out the window?" Lauren demanded, turning to Sydney and crossing her arms over her chest.


Who the hell does she think she is?


Sydney was taken aback for a moment, but she recovered quickly.


"Is it a crime for me to want to know what's been holding your interest for so long?"


"'So long'?" Lauren repeated, a touch of laughter in her voice. "I didn't realize that ten seconds counted as 'long.'"


Sydney exhaled through her nose, half expecting flames to escape.


She found herself resenting Lauren's apparent backbone. In truth, Lauren was quite similar to her. She was stubborn and unyielding in nearly every situation.


Interesting.


For about half a second, Sydney admired her.


Then, she remembered all too quickly why she detested Lauren and any feelings of admiration and respect went away in an instant.


She knew she didn't have any real reason to hate Lauren—she had just been dealt an incredibly shitty hand and she was going to have to learn to cope with it, no matter how much it hurt her inside.


She stood up and walked over to the window, stopped a couple of feet from Lauren. She crossed her arms over her chest for a moment, then opened the curtains and looked out the window.


Her eyes darted around the darkness outside, and she kept watch on Lauren out of the corner of her eye, willing her to turn and face her.


To say something.


To get angry with her, even.


To yell and scream and shout and have the last word.


Do it.


But she didn't. Instead, Lauren just stood there, looking out the window. Sydney found that those actions alone frayed her nerves more than a screaming match would have.


She decided to speak.


"I'll be honest with you."


For the first time since we met.


A pause, waiting to see if Lauren would turn and look at her. She didn't, and Sydney clenched her teeth.


"I'll be honest," she said again, a bit louder this time, "I don't know how I should even act around you." She shook her head. "I don't know what I should say to you."


Lauren pursed her lips, and her purr of an accent filled Sydney's head. "You mean right now, orever?"


Get a clue.


Sydney glared pointedly at her. "Both."


Lauren looked down and nodded. "Me too."


Sydney stared at Lauren and finally Lauren's eyes met hers. "Last week, on the plane, when I said I didn't hate you—"


She swallowed.


"I lied."


Lauren nodded. "I know."


Thank God.


Their eyes met again.


"The truth is, I'm still trying to get used to the idea of not being with Vaughn."


A heavy sigh.


"I don't know what he told you about our relationship, but when he came to Hong Kong, and I saw the ring on his finger, I was devastated. I didn't know what to do, or how to react."


Silence. Contemplation.


"I yelled at him later. For giving up on me—*us*. A week later, he told me what he went through. I tried to understand."


She locked eyes with Lauren again.


"Then I met you. And everything came crashing down because I knew that it was real. I knew that Vaughn was married and that he wasn't my boyfriend anymore."


She shook her head and scoffed.


"I mean, what was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to react around you? What was I supposed to say, when I'm still reeling from losing two years of my *life*, especially when my life had just started to make *sense* and had just started to be tolerable?"


Lauren was staring at Sydney, concern knitting her brow.


She's sincere.


"I loved Vaughn—I'm sure you've deduced that from my behavior."


"Yes," ventured Lauren.


We're on the same page at least.


Sydney backed away from the window.


"Like I said: I don't know how to act around you. Maybe in time, I will. But I don't right now. I need space, I need to work through this without having it blatantly shoved at me.


"Earlier, when you—when youme, I'm sure you were expecting a thank you or at least something of the sort. You obviously weren't expecting me to run out and just ignore you.


"But if you were in my position, I'm sure you would have done the same."


Don't you *dare* bother to deny it.


Lauren turned away from the window and walked over to Sydney who was standing by the bed. She stood directly behind her, perhaps a foot away.


"Actually, I wouldn't have. I understand how you feel, Sydney, and I'm not going to judge you based on that. I know I would feel the same way if I were you. But, even if someone I absolutely loathed for whatever reason, had come to my rescue, I would have had the *decency* to thank them."


What nerve she has to get up on her high horse and act like she's a complete and total *saint*.


Sydney was just about shaking with her anger. She spun around to face her nemesis.


"*Lauren*." Her voice was dripping with venom. "Until you find yourself in a situation like that, you have no *idea* how you're going to react. Take it from someone who knows."


She started to leave. She needed to get away.


Lauren's voice was low, soft, almost desperate.


"Sydney, I'm not sure what you want from me."


She's kidding with this shit, she has to be.


Sydney spun around again.


"What could I possibly *want* from you? Honestly, Lauren. What could I possibly *desire* to have that belongs to you?"


Lauren set her jaw. "Aside from Michael, I don't know what you could possibly want that would make you not completely abhor the mere sight of me."


You're preaching to the choir.


When Sydney spoke, her voice was dangerously low. "I don't either. I just know that there's nothing that you could possibly do that will make this any easier. I don't blame you for marrying Vaughn, I don't blame you for anything. I just resent you for taking my place in Vaughn's heart."


She *has* to understand that.


Sydney ran a hand through her hair. "Now, I'm tired, and I would like to get cleaned up so I can attempt to get some sleep before we leave."


Lauren stepped closer to Sydney. "Look, I don't want you to hate me."


Of course you don't and neither do I. But it's complicated.


Sydney licked her lips and mumbled, "I don't want to."


"Then don't."


She doesn't understand. She never will.


"It's not that easy."


"Of course it is. You just refuse to believe it."


Sydney felt tears prick her eyes and she fought to keep them at bay.


I can't cry. Not here, not now.


She barely whispered her next words.


"Do you think it's easy for me to see Vaughn with you?"


Lauren shook her head and sighed heavily. "Of course I don't, Sydney. Give me a little credit, at least. I'm aware of what he meant to you—"


She narrowed her eyes.


"And what he still means to you.


"But, I can't apologize for marrying the man I love, and I absolutely refuse to, Sydney."


"I don't want you to apologize," Sydney said quietly.


I can't hate her. I can't.


Her voice equally quiet, Lauren asked, "What do you want me to do?"


"I don't know."


I can't hate her.


Lauren just stood there for a moment, then stepped closer and touched Sydney's wrist. Sydney winced when Lauren touched the raw skin where the ropes had held her. Their eyes locked again and Sydney saw something beyond concern in Lauren's eyes.


What it was though, she couldn't be certain.


"I got sidetracked from the main reason I came in here, which was to see if you were all right. I'll get the first aid kit, and help you clean your wounds."


The whole caring thing. Again, some more.


"I can do it myself."


"Don't be silly," Lauren scolded her lightly.


"I'm not," Sydney protested.


Shut up, Syd.


"I'll be right back." She patted Sydney's arm and left the room.


Another feeling there—same as she saw in Lauren's eyes.


What's going on?


Sydney watched her go, and then took up her perch on her bed once again, leaning back against the headboard. She exhaled deeply and closed her eyes. She knew she was tired, and this conversation as well as the mission had completely exhausted her.


Lauren came back and paused when she saw Sydney sitting on the bed. She shook off the odd feeling and sat on the edge of the left side of the bed. She turned and took out some peroxide and gauze.


She made eye contact with Sydney for a moment before dabbing the peroxide on her cut wrists. Sydney grimaced as Lauren expected.


"Sorry."


I know.


Lauren looked pointedly at Sydney's right cheek and informed her, "Your cheek is cut here." She touched her fingertips ever so gently against the cut and Sydney narrowed her eyes at the action.


What's she doing?


Sydney swung her legs over the opposite side of the bed and stood up, eager to end the awkward moment.


Why is it so awkward?


"I'm showering, and then I'm going to bed. Good night."


She started for the bathroom and stopped to look back over her shoulder, not meeting Lauren's eyes.


"Thank you."


Really.


"You're welcome."


Sydney started to walk towards the bathroom again when Lauren halted her by appearing beside her.


"I want to thank you for being honest with me. I'd much rather know the truth than be forced to exist in a lie that's hurting us both."


Sydney gave her a genuine smile.


Me too.


"Would it beentirely horrible of me if I gave you a hug?"


A hug? Horrible?


"No, Lauren, why would a hug be horrible?"


Lauren shrugged and tentatively reached her arms around Sydney. Sydney patted her back and smiled again when Lauren pulled back.


Sydney began, "I'm really glad that we—"


She was silenced by Lauren's lips on hers.


She was too stunned to react, to think, even.


She let Lauren kiss her until Lauren pulled back and stared at her with half-lidded eyes. Sydney stared back, suddenly aware that the kiss had left her breathless.


She breathed in, and Lauren's mouth covered her own once again.


She kissed back this time, unsure why, even let Lauren explore her mouth with her tongue.


The next thing she knew, Lauren was unzipping her torn pants. Sydney met her gaze. The logical thing would be to tell her to stop, but Sydney couldn't.


And she didn't know why.


She found herself on the edge of the bed, Lauren pulling her pants off her legs, then sliding off her panties. Lauren wasted no time, and plunged two fingers into Sydney.


Sydney was mortified that she had been ready, that Lauren had been able to bring about such reactions.


Why did she want this?


Why do I feel like I *have* to have it?


Lauren surprised Sydney by maintaining eye contact. Sydney did nothing to show Lauren that she was feeling any pleasure save for a few hardly noticeable involuntary gasps.


Lauren's thumb had found Sydney's nub and Sydney bit back a cry. The combination of feelings was beginning to overtake Sydney's senses, and she had to break eye contact as she tilted her head back and exploded violently around Lauren's fingers.


When she was finally able to collect herself and look into Lauren's eyes, she saw a change, an understanding.


She doesn't hate me. And I don't hate her.


She knows that now.


So do I.


Lauren removed her fingers slowly, and Sydney drew her knees to her chest.


"We have to leave early tomorrow," Lauren said, and Sydney kept her gaze focused on the softness in her eyes. "I'll let you get some sleep."


Sydney forced herself to nod, and Lauren turned to go.


"Lauren."


She turned.


"I don't know what to say."


The softness, gentleness, was still in Lauren's eyes. Her rich accent intoned, "You don't have to say anything."


She left, closing the door after her.


Sydney tried to stand, and nearly fell back down because her legs felt like Jell-O.


She stripped off her torn and bloody shirt along with her bra and walked to the bathroom in the room.


She turned on the shower as hot as it would go, and surveyed herself in the mirror as the water heated up.


She saw how bad the cut on her cheek was and understood why Lauren wanted to help her.


She stepped into the shower, the water scalding her skin.


It felt good.


Sighing, she thought about what she might say to Lauren when it came time to leave.


What *could* she say?


She wasn't exactly sure, but she knew somehow that whatever she said would be the right thing. Because the two of them now had a considerably more intimate knowledge of one another, and it seemed to make them connect in a way that they hadn't connected in before.


Things were different now. They had both bared their souls, and there was nothing left to hide.


Sydney scrubbed away the bad memories of the day, how the mission had gone wrong.


She turned off the shower, wrapped a towel around her body, opened the bathroom door to her room.


Lauren was there.


Waiting.


She wasn't surprised.


"Hi."


Things were definitely different.

FIN