Note: Please heed that warning: This fic is purely a humor/romance fic, and has in reality no real plot. This will contain Slash and Voldemort is dead (don't ask me how, Harry killed him, Severus helped him, End of story) yeah, very original, but I'm trying to concencrate on how the lifes of all the characters are, after the war.
Yada yada yada.
Harry is not suidical, Sirius is somehow alive *cheers*, Remus, Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, Severus, Draco, Fred&George, Charlie, Bill are all alive, Voldemort+Deatheaters are all dead and the others you will see.
I changed the lyrics of the songs so at the end they fitted the perfomers. The songs are important in the fic, I'm trying to use the songs to describe the characters. How they think, what they fell, etc.
Summary: Harry's final year. He somehow had succeeded in killing Voldemort in his sixth year with the help of his Potions Professor, Sirius alive and free, Draco changed sides, so Dumbledore decides to hold a Karaoke contest at Hogwarts, because he thinks that everyone is too angsty and sour. The winner of the contest will receive their truest heart desire.... All teachers and students have to take part in the contest. It's a must.
But of course, the manipulative old coot has another reason to start the Karaoke contest.
The reason??
Two certain, stubborn fools who don't want to admit that they are in love and he wants to make sure they both end up with eachother.
Let the singing begin!!! ^_~
Warning: Slash, OOC (Snape), no real plot, and note: This is not a copy of 'Voices of Wizard'.
Pairing: The mighty pairing SS/HP, SB/RL, RW/HG, and much more
Disclaimer: Do I look like J.K.Rowling to you?? *snorts* I'm not, so I don't own it.
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-CHAPTER 1-
Albus Dumbledore, almighty, powerful and slightly insane headmaster of Hogwarts sat in his office, stroking Fawkes red/gold plummage, was musing.
'What should I do about those idiot??? They're in love, but don't want to admit it. This is bad, Severus my boy, and Harry my boy, you both too stubborn for your own goods. But I have an excellent idea!! This is it Albus, you're a genius!!! Mwahahahaha!!!'
Albus clapped his hands beaming. Fawkes looked up to him, cooing.
"So, where did I put my book about Karaoke???"
He began to hum cheerfully, smiling all the time.
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-The next day-
The great hall was filled with chattering, the scraping of metal on golden plates, chewing and other soundss.
He hated it.
Severus Snape, potions master, head of Slytherin and mean, snarky and sour git had not a good time.
'Understament!' His mind screamed.
Next to him sat Flitwick the Cheerful, babbling about some fucking charm, which helped to keep you awake.
Did Severus care about some charm? No. But nobody wanted his opinion.
'Great, and the next thing is that Albus will announce that he will start some bloody contest. If he does that I will poison myself. How can they all be so happy?! Yes, Voldemort is dead, whoop-de-whoo. Hogwarts still stands, I still have to teach those miserable, indifferent and stupid brats potions and Harry-I-defeated-Voldemort-praise-me-because-I'm-sexy-Potter still lives and oh my what an ass. Grr, Severus get an grip. Harry Potter, son of your archenemy does not look sexy. No. No. No.'
Severus hook his haed and stared sourly at his goblet, filled with pumkin juice.
'Why me'?
"May I have your attention, please?"
Severus looked up and saw his mentor and trusted friend, Albus Dumbledore.
'Shit, he has that twinkling in his eyes. Oh god, please save me from his manipulative plans. Sometimes, I think Albus should have been in Slytherin. Old, troublesome coot.'
The hall went quiet, everyone looked expectantly at the headmaster.
'More faster you say your speech, more faster I can stalk to my dungeons. Hurry.'
"Thank you. I noticed, that after the war, everyone became so serious, no Sirius not you, so glum, so I've decided to hold a contest."
Albus paused, to add more effect..
Severus wanted to hit himself. Or Albus. Yeah Albus was a good choice.
'Voldemort, why didn't you kill me???? Bastard! You just had to die! Now I need you and you're dead like a doornail!! Damn you Potter and damn your little, tight ass!! You just had to kill him!! '
Didn't you help him? A voice asked.
'That's beside the point' Severus sulked.
"The contest will be a.... Karaoke contest!" Beamed the mad, of course only in Severus' opinion, headmaster.
Shocked gasps.
'My, Minerva close your mouth. I can see your stomach from here. Not a very pretty sight.'
After a long silence, the students went wild.
"That's so cool!!!" "Dumbledore is off his rocker!" "What's karaoke?"
'Well, at least I don't have to sing.' Thought Severus and bit in his apple.
"Of couse, everyone must participate. Yes, also the teachers. The prize is waht the winner's heart desire is. You can change the lyrics of the song, when you think they really don't fit."
Pieces of an apple went flying over the table.
'ALBUS, I'm going to kill you!!! Painfully!!' Severus glared hotly at Dumbledore, but the man in question seemed unaffected.
'That's not fair.'
He heard the students whispering.
"Urgh! Snape has too sing?! I'm gonna puke!" "Snape singing? I will die!" "I want to see Dumbledore singing!!" "That will be fun!!"
'10.000 points from Gryffindor!!! Rude, obnixious brats!'
He saw how the golden trio was whispering to each other. Red hair was grinning, frizzy hair was giggling and messy hair was....
Harry turned his head and stared directly in Severus' eyes.
Emerald met onyx.
Then he smiled, a shy adorable 'ADORABLE?!! What's wrong with you, Severus?? You're a cold Slytherin, act like one!! You're not some wimp! You're not mushy! Don't move!! Don't acknowledge him!! Don't show your emotions.' smile and looked quickly away.
'What was that? Trying to confuse me, he Potter?? That won't work. I admit, you're sexy but... I'm a cold hearted bastard who doesn't need anyone!'
Whatever you say
'Shut it!'
"Each students and teachers have 3 days to choose a song they want to sing. Thank you, and good luck!!!"
Albus clapped his hands, sat down and smiled brightly.
'His lemon drops must have consumed his brain'
"Albus!!! I think, that's not a good idea!" Hissed Minerva, gesturing with her fork.
'This time, I agree with her'
"No, I think that's a wonderful idea!" Smile Remus Lupin, DADA professor 'How dare you mutt??? That's my job, but you snatched it away right under my nose!! Thief!!' And mutt Nr. 2 also grinned.
"Yea, Moony is right. Don't you think so, Severus?? I bet everyone wants to hear your wonderful singing" Sneered Black, behind Lupin, twirling his wand in his bony and dirty fingers.
'That...!'
"Of course. And I think that everyone will look forward to hear your singing, or should I say barking? You can team up wih the Werewolf here, howling and barking the new music style. Absolutely fantastic, I assure you."
Black narrowed his eyes.
"Why you...!"
'Score!'
"Boys!! Can't you be friends?"
"NO!"
"Well, I have to go Albus."
"Yeah, Snape have to prepare yourself for terrorizing your unfortunate students. I pity them, beeing taught by a greasy, ugly git, right Snivellus? They must faint from seeing the grease that is in your hair."
Severus clenched his fingers, but refused to turn around.
"Padfoot!"
'Not Potter! Anyone but Potter!! Go away!! Don't tease me with your desirable body!!'
"Harry!!! How is my favorite godson?" Asked mutt 2.
'He is your only godson. Can't you count?' Thought Severus and walked briskly out of the hall.
"Don't forget Severus, my boy, choose your song!" Called Albus behind him.
His answer was growling.
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(A/N: I'm too lazy to write about those remaining three days. Today is the day! Tada!!!)
'This is not good'
Severus sat in HIS chair in front of the stage. There, where usually the head table stands was the stage.
Behind him were all the other students, all excited and nervous, well the smarties (Ravenclaw), the hard-workies (Hufflepuff) and the goodies (Gryffindor). But his Slytherins, the cunnies, looked completely calm.
'Must have beem my calming potions...' Mused Severus.
Isn't that a bit unfair?
'Hah! All is fair in love and war!'
Next to him was Albus the Manipulator, then Minerva the Strict, Hagrid the overgrown child, mutt number one and two, Trelawney the dried-up bug and so on.
'I will endure this. Yeah, I will. I will, Be calm, glare, scowl, frown, snarl, sneer, but don't panic.'
The light went out, the whispering died and everyone held their breath.
Then a familiar voice said:
"Welcome to the Hogwarts Karaoke contest! I'm your host for the night, Lee Jordan!"
'Not that idiot!'
A cheer erupted from the Gryffindorks.
'How predictable'
"Thank you my fans!! Here are some useful tips:
First, just wave your wand and those things you need for your performance will appear. It's a spell, graciously made by Albus Dumbledore. Thanks to our favorite but mad headmaster! Second, the text will appaer before your eyes in the air, so don't worry about forgetting your text. You can't back out!!! Hahaha, suffer! Okay, third, after the each song a list will appear by everyone and you have to write what song did you found good or bad. That was it! Enjoy the Karaoke night! I personally will!!!"
Clapping and laughter.
"Oh and the performers will be choosen randomly. Don't expect a pattern!!! And the first victim is..... REEEEMUUUUSS LUPIIIIIN!!!! Best DADA teacher Hogwarts ever had and will have!"
'I beg to differ' Thought Severus.
Remus stood up, blushing and went to the stage, while gulping nervously.
"Well, the song I chose is 'Rise and Fall' from Craig David."
"Don't worry, Moony I still love you, even if you screw up!" Shouted Sirius.
Laughter.
"Go! Go! Go!" Yelled Harry, Ron and Hermione.
"Well, I'm ready." Remus waved his wand and the music started.
"Sometimes in life you feel the fight is never over
And it seems as though the writings on the wall
Werewolf, you finally made it
But once your already low picture becomes tainted
It's what they call
The rise and fall"
Behind him, an image of Werewolfs appeared, there were being chased by aurors.
"I always said that I was gonna make it
Now it's plain for everyone to see
But this game I'm in don't take no prisoners
Just casualties
I know that everything is gonna change
Even the friends I knew before me are gone
But this nightmare is not the life I've been searching for
Started believing that I was one of the greatest
My life was never gonna be the same
Cause without the money came a different status
That's when things changed
Now I'm too concerned with all the things I own
Everyone is blinded by all the cruel things they see
I'm beginning to lose my integrity"
Another image, this time of Remus in his shabby robes and sneering wizards, pointing and frowning at him.
"Sometimes in life you feel the fight is never over
And it seems as though the writings on the wall
Werewolf, you finally made it
But once your already low picture becomes tainted
It's what they call
The rise and fall"
An image of Remus, tired, worn out, holding his wand in his bloody hand.
"I used to be a real troublemaker
Now I don't even wanna please the stupid wizards
No hunting
No chasing
No caging
And more demands
Given advices that were clearly wrong
The type that seemed to make me feel bad
But some things you may find can take over your life
Burnt all my bridges, now I've run out of places
And there's nowhere left for me to turn
Been caught in dangerous situations
I should have learned
From all those times I walked away
When I knew that it was best to stop
Is it too late to show you the shape of my soul"
A young Remus, just reading, while Sirius and James torment a black-haired Slytherin student
"Sometimes in life you feel the fight is never over
And it seems as though the writings on the wall
Werewolf you finally made it
But once your already low picture becomes tainted
It's what they call
The rise and fall"
Remus in his wolf form, howling in agony
Now I know
I made some serious mistakes
Think I don't care
But you don't realise what this means to me
So let me have
Just one more chance
I'm not the man I used to be
Used to be"
Remus greeting Severus, but Severus ignores him and glares at him
"Sometimes in life you feel the fight is never over
And it seems as though the writings on the wall
Werewolf you finally made it
But once your already low picture becomes tainted
It's what they call
The rise and fall"
Remus topped and breathed in deeply. Then he looked up and saw shocked faces. Even Severus looked frozen.
'Do I sing that bad?' Thought Remus, sweating, gripping his robe in his hands.
Suddenly Sirius jumped up, whistling and clapping. Harry joined and after that everyone began to clap wildy.
"WONDERFUL!!! Marvelous!! That was Remus Lupin, gals and guys, the sexy beast!"
"JORDAN!" Yelled McGonagall.
"So, please write your statement!! A hearty applause for Professor Lupin! And the next one is..... Neville Longbottom!!! Welcome!!!"
The Gryffindors cheered loudly, stomping and whistling.
"Neville!!! Neville!!!"
Neville was blushing badly and he tripped on the stairs, landing on his face.
"Well, m-m-my song is called 'Shooting star'. Yeah, uhh, um enjoy???"
"No one seems to think too much of me here
And their glad to tell it to my face
And they know I'm not really supposed to be here
I'm completely out of place"
Images of Neville with Snape sneering down at him, McGonagall scolding him, Slytherins laughing behind him, Flitwick patiently showing him the right wand movements.
"Somehow there has got to be a reason
Even as I try and think it through
There's a bolt, from the blue"
An image of a smiling Harry on a broom, swooping down to Neville holding his toad.
"And I see a shooting star
set apart from all the rest
While the other stars are standing still
He's on a quest
Every night this shooting star
dances across the twilight sky
Cos he knows he doesn't quite fit in
And he's longing to know why"
Neville can't get his potion right and nobody helps him, because Snape forbade it
"I feel so much better when it's night time
that's when I can sorta disappear
when the sun is set is the right time
for pretending I'm not here"
Neville sitting in the corner of the Gryffindor common room, reading a book about plants, everyone is crowded around somebody with messy black hair and he looks longingly at the group.
"Sometimes I just stare into the heavens
Wondering if the answer is in sight
That's when I see the light"
Neville sitting near a window, looking outside and a shooting star comes by, Neville closes his eyes.
"Of my shooting star
on his way to who knows where
He's the one like all the stars
He outshines up there
and the solitary star
is an awful lot like me
On an endless search through time and space
for a place that won't seem wrong"
Neville in the garden house, humming, while Professor Sprout smiles warmly at him.
"If we both hang on for long enough
We both somehow are strong enough
We'll find our real, real love"
An image of his insane parents
"Every night this shooting star
dance across the twilight sky
Cos he knows he doesn't quite fit in
and he's longing to know why" Finished Neville, eyes shimmering.
"That was sad, but great! I'm quite touched Neville!! Great work! Don't you think so???" Said Lee.
Cheering and clapping was his answer.
"NEVILLE!!!!" Shouted Harry. "That was great!!"
Neville beamed and waved, cheeks red, eyes twinkling.
'Hn, that Longbottom. I pity him, but I don't like him. Had I been to harsh?? .... Nah!'
Git!
"So, and the next one is...... The one and only greasy git Severus Snape!"
'What?!'
TBC....
Please review!!
asa-chan