Innocence

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Warning: Yaoi. Shota. Don't like, don't read. You've been warned, so don't flame me about that.

Note: It has been quite a long time time since I last updated this fic. I know it's all my fault but please don't kill me (yet?) I still have at least one story to finish! (Haha, you can't kill me now!) Anyway, as I have said it has been quite a long time since the last chapter and I have to admit that my writing style sure has changed and I'm afraid you'd like it this way. Still, I'm back to continue this fic and I promise I'll finish it. My humblest apology.

--Killua--

We've been walking in silence for quite sometimes now and even though I am not looking at him I know Gon has snided me his more-than-tenth-time look. I know he wants to talk to me but I just am not in the mood. I know I shouldn't act like this. It'll only worry him more, being the person Gon is. Kind-hearted, innocent and sport yet determined.

I wish he would stay this way forever, for that's the reason why a person that belongs to the darkness like me is drawn to him. Gon is like the sun shining into the darkness that is my mind. Being with Gon, I feel like I could really be an ordinary twelve-year-old child who can play and laugh like the others. I, being the cold and heartless killing machine that my family keeps telling me I am, think so. Wish so.

That's why I won't let that bastard Hisoka taint him.

Hisoka...

The smirking face of that bastard pops in my mind every time that cursed name is mentioned and I vehemently wipe my lips. Damn. Just think of the earler event almost makes me sick. And to be honest, I have to tell you that I've never gotten sick all my life.

I still remember how his tongue worked in my mouth. Searching. Tasting. Daring. Making me gasp. Damn. I can't believe just a simple kiss could make my knees hit the ground so easily despite it being my first kiss. Damnit. Even Illumi can't fight and win me that fast.

"My, my, you're so innocent."

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn Hisoka and that smiling face of his. I scowl, balling my hand into a fist. Just thinking of him already makes me want to kill someone if not the bastard himself. I steal a quick glance at Gon--quick enough that he won't know I'm looking so that he won't have time to fire me a question or a worried look, then try to calm that murderous urge down.

I can't, I won't kill anyone anymore. I am no longer an assassin. I am not a killing machine. I am a hunter. And I am Gon's friend.

I'm not what he claims me to be.

I look at him carefully. His face is always passive and his pitch-black eyes are always void of emotions. "Hello, Kill." He greets.

"What do you want?" I ask coldly.

His eyes narrow slightly but the expression on his face remains the same. "Now, now, is that what a little brother greets his older brother, hmm?" I say nothing. Beside me, Gon shifts uncomfortably, his hand reaching for his bait.

Illumi notices this. "Don't worry, Gon." He says, bringing something...which happens to be a shopping bag with a small box inside up from the floor. "I am not here to take Kill away. I just happen to have a job in this town. And I just want to apologize for last time."

Gon looks at Illumi, puzzled as Illumi hands him the bag. He looks at Illumi, at the box in the bag, then back and illumi again. Gon blinks. "Cake?" Sure Gon's puzzled as hell. Illumi's always the one full with surprise and it's hard to read through him, even being his own brother.

"Kill always loves chocolate cakes, right?" Illumi says, gesturing me to come to him. My feet automatically comply. Strange but true but this sometimes makes me feel like an idiot, always do what Illumi says. I myself wonder why.

In our family, I wonder if I'm the one seeing Illumi smile the most often. Milluki says he has almost never seen Illumi smiled. I bet the fat guy must be jealous but...if he were in my shoes, I'm sure he would never say so. Because...

Sometimes I have a feeling that Illumi has complete control over me.

"Kill," he says, placing his hand on my head, "Father may allow you to go around freely and I won't forbid you not to do anything. But..." he lowers his head a little so he's looking at me straight in the eyes. Those bottom-less black, black orbs. I shudder involuntarily. "Remember my words: Don't fight the enemy you know you can't win against." With that, Illumi turns to Gon, gives him a nod and leaves.

I swallow. Hard.

He may not say it directly but I doubt not...

Illumi knows.

TBC

A/N: Review, pretty please!!! Oh, by the way do you mind if I switch off the POV mode in the next chapter(s)?