A/N: I in no way own these characters. Yes, they are used without
permission, and for that I apologize. Please don't sue, I have no money!
The night that Elizabeth found Lucky and Sarah together, what was going on inside her head? What would have happened to Elizabeth + Jason's relationship if they had continued?
~*~*~*~
Prologue (Was in the show, it's been a while so the soul purpose is to refresh your memory.)
~Elizabeth's Studio~
The moment I entered my eyes focused on a painting I had been working on, off and on, for weeks. It just never seemed to look right. And all of my anger just centered on the painting for a moment and I had to stop myself from throwing it across the room. But I couldn't, my anger took the better of me.
"Just so ugly!" I screamed, throwing it across and room and reveling in the satisfaction that I would never have to see it again.
But it wasn't enough to calm me down. I pulled at my hair in frustration and before I knew it I had cleared off a table of art supplies. And for a moment I forgot the mess, the moment, and just let out a heavy sigh.
Jason stood idly by for most of this. But he could tell what I needed. He could tell how the anger was invading my body. I had the urge to destroy anything in my path and he knew it just as I did.
He picked up a canvas and held it out in front of me.
"Elizabeth-"
"Don't even tell me to calm down. Okay, just don't!" I screamed, furious.
But I knew his intent was not to get me to calm down. He wanted to make me feel better.
"No, take your best short, rip this thing apart." He said, calmly.
I considered it. I really wanted to rip everything apart. But I just needed to vent and Jason was the best person to vent to.
"God, how could I be such an idiot? How could I believe Lucky and Sarah of all people? They both lied to me more than once, did I think about that? Did I ever doubt them when they said they wouldn't get together? No. Because I was too busy being a good sister for once in my life. God! God, what is wrong with me?" I asked, pacing the room because I was too angry to stand still.
"You wanted to believe them." He said, knowingly.
"No, I'm just such an idiot." I said, mad at myself for not doing something before it came to this.
"No you aren't." He fired back.
"Oh, right. Little Elizabeth, loyal girlfriend, understanding ex- girlfriend. I've done everything right. I've played by every rule, and look where it got me!"
And for the first time I stood still. I was less than a foot from Jason and for a moment I lost myself in his eyes. For a moment I forgot my anger and the reasons behind it, and just noticed him.
He had always been there. To help me, guide me, listen to me. But I never once listened to him when he told me how to fix my life. He always had the answers but I never listened. It was my fault for not listening to him sooner.
"Why don't I listen to you? Why was I so willing to shut myself down to be with Lucky? I signed my LIFE over to him. I wasted years waiting for Lucky to love me again. And for what? To find him in bed with my sister!"
I let out a heavy sigh. I realized then it had taken me so long to admit that Lucky and I just didn't fit anymore. It was something I had known for the longest time but I could not admit. And now it was out in the open. Now I could not hide from it anymore.
"At least now you know the truth." He said.
Jason, always the voice of reason. Jason always knew just what I needed to hear. I had blown my chance with Jason by choosing Lucky. And look where that got me.
"I wish I had gone away with you a long time ago." I said, softly.
I paused, lost in his eyes once again. How I loved his eyes. They way they looked at me and the way they made me feel, protected. And without thinking, I lifted my hand to his chest. With my fingers I started stroking the brown fabric of his tee shirt. How I imagined his chest would look and feel without the shirt on.
"Hopped on your bike and never looked back." I whispered.
He looked down as if just noticing my fingers. Our eyes met.
"What do you want?" He asked, as if it was not obvious.
"I want you." I said, plain and simple.
And for the first time, I didn't think. I just instinctively lifted my hands to cup his face and pressed my lips delicately on his. The kiss was needy and passionate, but so perfect. He took his hands and placed them on my upper arms, as if he was afraid I would let go. Then slowly, in rhythm with my own movements, his hands came up and combed through my hair and cupped my cheek. I moved my own hands to his chest. His hands moved to my collar, forcing down the leather jacket I was wearing. It came off in one fluid motion. I took my hands and removed his jacket, his arms still holding me close to his body. I pulled and tugged at his tee shirt until it came free from his pants. I pulled it up to expose his back and let my fingers touch his bare skin. And soon I felt his hands on my back, caressing the skin with his gentle touch. My hands move around under his shirt and soon I feel his ribbed abs. Jason's kisses move down my neck and my tank top strap gently fell away under his touch.
Jason moves backward towards the couch and pulls me with him. His kisses still on my neck and shoulders and his hands guide me with him. He falls gently onto the couch and pulls me down with him. His hands move from my torso to my lower back. His hands slowly move up and gently touch the bottom of my breasts.
And in that moment, I'm forced back from ecstasy to reality. I realize what is happening and I instinctively push him away and remove my self from his embrace. I move backwards and try to regain my composure. He stays on the couch, confused by my actions.
My skin still tingles from his touch. I can feel the kisses he has planted on my neck but I try to ignore the urge to jump back on top of him.
"Oh, wa-wait. Wait. Wait. You know what-I'm sorry. This is unfair. I should have never asked you to come back here." I say, moving further away in hopes the distance will keep me sane.
He gets up off the couch but does not try to move closer.
"Okay." He says, simply.
"Okay? That's it? Just okay?" I ask, unsure if I heard him.
We almost have sex but I push him away and he is fine with it?
"What do you want me to tell you?" He asks.
"I have no idea! Oh, God." I say, throwing my head back, "What is wrong with me?"
I move towards the table and put my head down on it as I kneed my fingers through my hair.
"Elizabeth, nothing is wrong with you." He says sincerely, moving forward to stroke my back.
His touch makes me flinch and I raise my head to tell him I've changed my mind but I chicken out before the words escape my lips.
"So, it's okay for me to drag you away from Kelly's and throw myself at you and change my mind?" I ask, looking up at him.
He moves closer and leans on the table.
"Yeah." He says, simply.
"How could you say that?" I asked, confused.
"This isn't about me."
"And that's why it's so unfair!" I say, standing completely up and looking directly at him.
"What's unfair? Nobody's lying, we both know what's going on." He says, as if it happens all the time.
"Yeah, I was just about to have sex with you because I'm furious with Lucky. Jason-Jason I would be too embarrassed to even look at you afterwards." I say, turning away from him.
"Why?" He asks, sincerely.
"Because!" I shout, turning towards him, "Because I would want it to be more. Jason, I care about you. And if we had sex-or make love-or whatever you'd want to call it, I would want it to mean something. I'm not going to have sex with you just to get back at Lucky. I'm not going to ruin what you and I have because I'm angry with him."
"I understand."
Jason raises his hand and stokes my cheek.
"You do, don't you? This is so unfair." I say, allowing myself to lean into his touch.
I had to pull myself away before I reconsidered what I had just told him.
"Look, now if having sex tonight would make you too embarrassed to ever speak to me again, then it's good we didn't." He said, sincerely.
I smile, allowing my guard to come down for a moment just to let my hand stroke his hair.
"Thank you." I say.
He takes my hand within his own and just holds it against his chest.
"You could always change your mind. Again." He says, lifting up one eyebrow and smiling.
I smile at the idea. I know what I am doing it right, stopping this. But at the same time, it is so hard not to want him. His touch still lingers on my skin but I control myself.
He lets go as if it is as difficult for him and I move towards my couch. I pull the blanket over me and settle in. Jason grabs his jacket from the floor and comes over and kneels beside the couch.
"Are you staying?" He asks.
"Yeah, I may paint all night." I say, hoping that it will clear my head.
"Are you okay with everything?" He asks, worried.
"Do you remember that Christmas we spent here? And that tree we decorated with paper chains?" I ask.
Jason smiles, wide.
"That was once of my favorite times, ever. I didn't have to pretend to be happy, I just was." I say, replacing it in my mind with the one tonight.
"I can stay, if you need me." He offers.
"No-no, I think that painting by myself will clear my head." I say, afraid that if he stayed we would make a mistake.
"Do you still have that picture of The Wind?" He asks.
"Yes, but it isn't right."
"But it's MINE." He says, with a smile.
I move closer, "If you want it." I say, flirtatiously.
He stands up and leans forward to plant a single kiss on my forehead. His lips linger a little too long but I don't mind. Then he turns and to leave.
"Jason?" I call.
He turns.
"Do you ever think of what would have happened if I had ridden away with you that day?" I ask, the memory fresh in my head.
"No." He says.
"Why not?"
"Because you didn't." He says, as if that is a reason.
"I'm really glad you are back." I say, sincerely.
"Yeah, me to. Goodnight." He says, smiling.
"Goodnight." I say, as he leaves.
The night that Elizabeth found Lucky and Sarah together, what was going on inside her head? What would have happened to Elizabeth + Jason's relationship if they had continued?
~*~*~*~
Prologue (Was in the show, it's been a while so the soul purpose is to refresh your memory.)
~Elizabeth's Studio~
The moment I entered my eyes focused on a painting I had been working on, off and on, for weeks. It just never seemed to look right. And all of my anger just centered on the painting for a moment and I had to stop myself from throwing it across the room. But I couldn't, my anger took the better of me.
"Just so ugly!" I screamed, throwing it across and room and reveling in the satisfaction that I would never have to see it again.
But it wasn't enough to calm me down. I pulled at my hair in frustration and before I knew it I had cleared off a table of art supplies. And for a moment I forgot the mess, the moment, and just let out a heavy sigh.
Jason stood idly by for most of this. But he could tell what I needed. He could tell how the anger was invading my body. I had the urge to destroy anything in my path and he knew it just as I did.
He picked up a canvas and held it out in front of me.
"Elizabeth-"
"Don't even tell me to calm down. Okay, just don't!" I screamed, furious.
But I knew his intent was not to get me to calm down. He wanted to make me feel better.
"No, take your best short, rip this thing apart." He said, calmly.
I considered it. I really wanted to rip everything apart. But I just needed to vent and Jason was the best person to vent to.
"God, how could I be such an idiot? How could I believe Lucky and Sarah of all people? They both lied to me more than once, did I think about that? Did I ever doubt them when they said they wouldn't get together? No. Because I was too busy being a good sister for once in my life. God! God, what is wrong with me?" I asked, pacing the room because I was too angry to stand still.
"You wanted to believe them." He said, knowingly.
"No, I'm just such an idiot." I said, mad at myself for not doing something before it came to this.
"No you aren't." He fired back.
"Oh, right. Little Elizabeth, loyal girlfriend, understanding ex- girlfriend. I've done everything right. I've played by every rule, and look where it got me!"
And for the first time I stood still. I was less than a foot from Jason and for a moment I lost myself in his eyes. For a moment I forgot my anger and the reasons behind it, and just noticed him.
He had always been there. To help me, guide me, listen to me. But I never once listened to him when he told me how to fix my life. He always had the answers but I never listened. It was my fault for not listening to him sooner.
"Why don't I listen to you? Why was I so willing to shut myself down to be with Lucky? I signed my LIFE over to him. I wasted years waiting for Lucky to love me again. And for what? To find him in bed with my sister!"
I let out a heavy sigh. I realized then it had taken me so long to admit that Lucky and I just didn't fit anymore. It was something I had known for the longest time but I could not admit. And now it was out in the open. Now I could not hide from it anymore.
"At least now you know the truth." He said.
Jason, always the voice of reason. Jason always knew just what I needed to hear. I had blown my chance with Jason by choosing Lucky. And look where that got me.
"I wish I had gone away with you a long time ago." I said, softly.
I paused, lost in his eyes once again. How I loved his eyes. They way they looked at me and the way they made me feel, protected. And without thinking, I lifted my hand to his chest. With my fingers I started stroking the brown fabric of his tee shirt. How I imagined his chest would look and feel without the shirt on.
"Hopped on your bike and never looked back." I whispered.
He looked down as if just noticing my fingers. Our eyes met.
"What do you want?" He asked, as if it was not obvious.
"I want you." I said, plain and simple.
And for the first time, I didn't think. I just instinctively lifted my hands to cup his face and pressed my lips delicately on his. The kiss was needy and passionate, but so perfect. He took his hands and placed them on my upper arms, as if he was afraid I would let go. Then slowly, in rhythm with my own movements, his hands came up and combed through my hair and cupped my cheek. I moved my own hands to his chest. His hands moved to my collar, forcing down the leather jacket I was wearing. It came off in one fluid motion. I took my hands and removed his jacket, his arms still holding me close to his body. I pulled and tugged at his tee shirt until it came free from his pants. I pulled it up to expose his back and let my fingers touch his bare skin. And soon I felt his hands on my back, caressing the skin with his gentle touch. My hands move around under his shirt and soon I feel his ribbed abs. Jason's kisses move down my neck and my tank top strap gently fell away under his touch.
Jason moves backward towards the couch and pulls me with him. His kisses still on my neck and shoulders and his hands guide me with him. He falls gently onto the couch and pulls me down with him. His hands move from my torso to my lower back. His hands slowly move up and gently touch the bottom of my breasts.
And in that moment, I'm forced back from ecstasy to reality. I realize what is happening and I instinctively push him away and remove my self from his embrace. I move backwards and try to regain my composure. He stays on the couch, confused by my actions.
My skin still tingles from his touch. I can feel the kisses he has planted on my neck but I try to ignore the urge to jump back on top of him.
"Oh, wa-wait. Wait. Wait. You know what-I'm sorry. This is unfair. I should have never asked you to come back here." I say, moving further away in hopes the distance will keep me sane.
He gets up off the couch but does not try to move closer.
"Okay." He says, simply.
"Okay? That's it? Just okay?" I ask, unsure if I heard him.
We almost have sex but I push him away and he is fine with it?
"What do you want me to tell you?" He asks.
"I have no idea! Oh, God." I say, throwing my head back, "What is wrong with me?"
I move towards the table and put my head down on it as I kneed my fingers through my hair.
"Elizabeth, nothing is wrong with you." He says sincerely, moving forward to stroke my back.
His touch makes me flinch and I raise my head to tell him I've changed my mind but I chicken out before the words escape my lips.
"So, it's okay for me to drag you away from Kelly's and throw myself at you and change my mind?" I ask, looking up at him.
He moves closer and leans on the table.
"Yeah." He says, simply.
"How could you say that?" I asked, confused.
"This isn't about me."
"And that's why it's so unfair!" I say, standing completely up and looking directly at him.
"What's unfair? Nobody's lying, we both know what's going on." He says, as if it happens all the time.
"Yeah, I was just about to have sex with you because I'm furious with Lucky. Jason-Jason I would be too embarrassed to even look at you afterwards." I say, turning away from him.
"Why?" He asks, sincerely.
"Because!" I shout, turning towards him, "Because I would want it to be more. Jason, I care about you. And if we had sex-or make love-or whatever you'd want to call it, I would want it to mean something. I'm not going to have sex with you just to get back at Lucky. I'm not going to ruin what you and I have because I'm angry with him."
"I understand."
Jason raises his hand and stokes my cheek.
"You do, don't you? This is so unfair." I say, allowing myself to lean into his touch.
I had to pull myself away before I reconsidered what I had just told him.
"Look, now if having sex tonight would make you too embarrassed to ever speak to me again, then it's good we didn't." He said, sincerely.
I smile, allowing my guard to come down for a moment just to let my hand stroke his hair.
"Thank you." I say.
He takes my hand within his own and just holds it against his chest.
"You could always change your mind. Again." He says, lifting up one eyebrow and smiling.
I smile at the idea. I know what I am doing it right, stopping this. But at the same time, it is so hard not to want him. His touch still lingers on my skin but I control myself.
He lets go as if it is as difficult for him and I move towards my couch. I pull the blanket over me and settle in. Jason grabs his jacket from the floor and comes over and kneels beside the couch.
"Are you staying?" He asks.
"Yeah, I may paint all night." I say, hoping that it will clear my head.
"Are you okay with everything?" He asks, worried.
"Do you remember that Christmas we spent here? And that tree we decorated with paper chains?" I ask.
Jason smiles, wide.
"That was once of my favorite times, ever. I didn't have to pretend to be happy, I just was." I say, replacing it in my mind with the one tonight.
"I can stay, if you need me." He offers.
"No-no, I think that painting by myself will clear my head." I say, afraid that if he stayed we would make a mistake.
"Do you still have that picture of The Wind?" He asks.
"Yes, but it isn't right."
"But it's MINE." He says, with a smile.
I move closer, "If you want it." I say, flirtatiously.
He stands up and leans forward to plant a single kiss on my forehead. His lips linger a little too long but I don't mind. Then he turns and to leave.
"Jason?" I call.
He turns.
"Do you ever think of what would have happened if I had ridden away with you that day?" I ask, the memory fresh in my head.
"No." He says.
"Why not?"
"Because you didn't." He says, as if that is a reason.
"I'm really glad you are back." I say, sincerely.
"Yeah, me to. Goodnight." He says, smiling.
"Goodnight." I say, as he leaves.