Disclaimer : Fire Emblem and its related...um, stuff are property of Nintendo. I make no claims to them, and this fanfiction is done without profit or earnings whatsoever.
Forgotten and Remembered
The stars are so bright above. Just like when we were children, in the academy, when we often took to midnight walks along the gardens and exchange tales about different stars. I think I've changed a little bit then, but you didn't change at all. At least to my eyes, you're still the same person I laughed with, all those years ago.
That only made it harder.
It'd be so much simpler if things could remain the way it was. If my father lived forever, if your brother didn't die. We could've stayed carefree forever. If only I can still come to see you once in a while, if only I can look to the west without thinking of taking that road to you, it'd be so much simpler.
Why did it happen, and how? You once asked me in our journey, but I could give you no answer. I wish I could, then, because I can't so much as look at you the same way now. What changed everything? The titles, the responsibility that fell into our hands unwittingly? I knew I have to rule someday, and you prepared for a death. But not so quickly, not so suddenly. We didn't even have time to say goodbye, and eyes are everywhere.
I was never free to say I love you in the first place, nor were you free to say the same to me. But we were free to laugh and be with each other, at least. At least I was free to stay by your side and give you a smile when you need one. Didn't they call us friends?
We both know we're not. But to admit it means the end of everything.
I still remember that day when I said goodbye. In all our years, I've never seen you shed a tear. Not once. You always act so strong on the outside, no matter what grieves you within. You still didn't cry that day---dragons will like as not wear pink tutus before you cry---but you gave me a tear, a gift I didn't want. Of course, you were yourself enough to replace it with a smile, a laugh, a wave, but I know better than that. But it couldn't be helped...our time is over, and we both know it. For all our lives we've been together, and suddenly it's time to grow up and part. You took it much better than I did, but I know the pain was no less than mine.
Why were we born noble, and what would become of us if we're not?
Sometimes when I smile to the bride my mother chose for me, I wonder if you're doing the same, under another sky faraway, and if you think of me the same way I do for you. Heirs are a duty, as well as honor. But I wonder if it is truly what I wanted.
All my life I remember my smiles are with you.
All my laughter I've had with you.
When I close my eyes, the first vision to appear is you.
But we turned our backs to each other and walked, soothing ourselves that it's better this way. Better to remain friends forever to the world, better to keep the League from tearing apart. Better to forget.
Words and promises are so easy to say and so hard to keep.
The red circles in my calendar, marking those once-every-two-months practices sessions we'd share, those make me sadder still. The years went by, forward comes backward, and never back again. Something we thought would've lasted forever, so far away and out of reach now, pale and illusory to the mind.
I still look forward to those little red circles to come, then suddenly remembering everything's gone, and they no longer mean a thing.
I wish I'd told you how much you mean to me. How I'd rather stay beside you than sit this lonely throne. How I'd rather stay beside you and bear all the blames and accusations, all the shame, the disgraces. As long as I'm with you, those mean nothing to me.
And then somebody would smile at me, and I had to smile back. Always the noble little lord they expect out of me.
The stars are so bright tonight, deep in the sky, each with their own secrets. You were always good at keeping secrets, until the day you told me things I wish you didn't, but I was happy to hear, even though I know I have to forget.
The air is getting chilly. Everything is so dark, all I can see are the shadows of buildings dimly illuminated by the light of the sky-sea, and so I smile.
I can't love you.
And I can't say I love you.
But I can, at least, see the same stars that you do. So no matter what happens, no matter what lives we begin to lead, we'll always be together, someday, somehow.
.......Don't die before me, Hector.
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Author's Note : I never thought I'd end up writing anything even remotely resembling shounen-ai, but things happened. And I seldom write in present tense, but the situation calls for it. This may seem like plagiarism...forgive me if you feel that way. But I have my reasons, and I'll probably go back to third person perspective again. I so suck at first person perspective.
Commentaries? (Anything but plagiarism, yea)