Spoilers: Very minor ones. I just saw one for "Defending His Honor". ooh,
and there's one for "We the People". and which one has the 'meatless
meatloaf'? AN: What can I say-inspiration struck, and I had plenty of time
after finishing my student teaching. (This is being posted almost a year
and a half after it was written-I found it cleaning out folders in My
Documents)
******
0607 EST JAG Headquarters Falls Church, Virginia
Mac looked up from her paperwork when she heard her office door open. Pleasantly surprised, she put down her work.
"You must have been running at mach speed this morning to get to work so early!" she teased, standing to greet her partner.
"It wasn't the same without a certain jarhead there to slow me down," he teased back, meeting her in front of her desk. "I cut a few corners and decided to come in early so I could see you for a few moments before anyone else got here. After all, I didn't get my morning kiss," he hinted, reaching out to push a strand of hair out of her face.
"Harm, we're in the office!" she protested feebly, trying to maintain her Marine decorum while his hand caressed her cheek. "And I've got a lot of work to get done this morning before the actual work day starts!"
"No one's here to see us," he moved his hands to her waist and gently pulled her to him. Glancing at the desk, he raised his eyebrows and suggested, "I know of one way we could clear your desk rather quickly."
He watched her eyes widen at the innuendo. Then she smiled and decided to play along. "What sort of proposal is that supposed to be, sailor?"
"It's a good one, I think." He pushed her back against the edge of the desk and whispered in her ear, "No one would know, and I could help you pick up afterwards."
The whole exchange had gone from playful to heavy in a matter of moments, and she suddenly wasn't sure if he was teasing any more. Her immediate reaction was to push him away. "Harm. No."
He backed off immediately, loosening his grip so she could get the distance he knew she needed at that moment. After he'd given her a minute to compose herself, he quietly apologized, "I'm sorry, Mac. I only wanted to make a point that a little kiss wasn't such a big deal. I. I guess I got a little carried away. I'm sorry."
Her expression softened because she knew his apology was sincere. "You don't deserve a kiss," she watched his face go from contrite to heartbroken before she continued, "but the truth is that I missed you this morning, too."
Taking that as an invitation, Harm happily gathered her back in his arms.
"Better make it snappy, Commander, 'cause I got a lot of work to do," she smiled as he leaned down to kiss her. After they parted, she turned to walk back to her desk, but he caught her and pulled her back to him, her back against his chest.
"I really don't have time this morning." she said, but he could tell that her heart wasn't really into her protest. He couldn't see her face, but she had closed her eyes and was enjoying the security she felt with his arms wrapped around her.
"Mac," he started quietly, not sure if this was the right time to bring up the subject he'd been thinking about all week, "I know we both agreed that we shouldn't try to move too fast, and sleeping together would make it harder to keep this a secret. but when are we going to take our relationship to the next step?"
He felt her sigh before he heard her soft reply, "What do you want me to say, Harm? Do you want me to give you a specific date? A general time frame?"
He pulled her closer to him and felt her arms wrap themselves over his. "I want you to tell me how you feel about this. I'm not trying to pressure you. I just want to know when you feel we will both be ready to move on to other. ah, aspects of this relationship. unless you don't think we'll ever get to that point."
"Harm," she quietly cut him off as she heard him start to falter at the end of his last statement, "We've both been through some relationships that didn't end well. I don't want to lose what we have been building between us." It was her turn to falter as she said, "I. I think that we should wait until we know that this is permanent."
He was silent for a moment, which gave Mac enough time to begin fretting that she had pushed too hard. A split second later, she froze as she heard quiet words whispered from behind her, words she thought she'd never hear spoken to her by Harmon Rabb, Jr.: "Marry me."
After her initial shock, her thoughts began tumbling through her head at a million miles a minute, trying to discern whether he was seriously proposing or just joking around with her. In the span of second, her mind convinced her that this couldn't possibly be happening.
"I would, sailor," she said as she released herself from his hold. "But you see," she turned to him, leaning against the edge of her desk, "I've got all this work to do, so I couldn't possibly fit that into my schedule today."
He looked taken aback for a moment as he caught onto the fact that she wasn't taking this seriously. And as he registered that fact, Mac saw the confusion in his eyes, and she realized that she had read him wrong. Recovering first, Harm went along with it, "Well, I guess I'll just have to try again later." He flashed a brief smile before making a quick retreat through the office door.
Mac moaned as she sagged against the wall of her office. "What have I done?" she asked no one in particular. Of course, no one answered. Ten minutes later, she still didn't have an answer, but she was seated back at her desk, trying to force herself to finish the work she needed to get done. Despite her need to focus on the papers in front of her, she couldn't get herself to do it. She couldn't stop mentally berating herself for her ill-chosen comment.
"You don't seem to be getting anything done."
She looked up to see Harm standing in the doorway for the second time that morning. He looked very serious, standing there with his hands clasped behind his back, just watching her.
"I. well, I guess my mind's on other things," she stumbled over her words as he walked into her office.
He stood beside her now, towering over her seated form. Slowly, he lowered himself till he was more at her level. She watched as he brought something out from behind his back. Her eyes grew wide as she realized that he was holding a small velvet box. and he was down on one knee.
"You didn't seem to think that I was serious about my proposal," he started, looking up into her eyes, "and I debated whether or not I wanted to convince you that I was serious after seeing your reaction. but I saw you in here, and I knew you were beating yourself up over what you said, so I thought I'd give you a second chance."
He grinned crookedly, eliciting a small smile from her, which in turn gave him the courage to go forward with his proposal. "I hadn't planned on doing this today, but I guess my schedule has a little bit more room than yours does." Her smile widened at his little joke as she realized that he wasn't going to hold her earlier reaction against her for the rest of her life. Carefully opening the green velvet box, he held it in front of her and asked, "Sarah MacKenzie, will you marry me?"
Mac reached out as if to touch the ring. After letting her hand hover over it for what seemed like an eternity, she said softly, "Harm, it's beautiful."
He knew that there was more behind what she was saying just by the tone of her voice. "But.?" he prompted, suddenly afraid that he'd read the signs wrong, moved too fast and jeopardized everything they'd built between them over the past months that they'd been quasi-dating. The only upside he had come up with to combat this fear was that at least no one knew that they were even romantically involved since they had mutually decided that their relationship was best kept a secret.
He broke out of his fear-induced reverie when Mac finally touched the ring, pulling it from the foam bed of the velvety box. His heart stopped for a moment as he watched her slide the shiny golden band onto her left ring finger. She looked up at him and laughed. "Don't look so worried! I was just going to say that rumors about our relationship are really going to start flying if I start flashing this ring around the office."
Harm smiled back, letting out a shaky breath. "So, is that a yes?"
Leaning down till she was nose to nose with him, she said, "I guess I could live with being married to a squid, so yes, I'll marry you, Harmon Rabb."
His reaction was immediate-he was like a sixteen-year-old who had just been handed the keys to the car of his dreams. He whooped for joy as he stood, pulling her up with him and swinging her around in his arms. She laughed delightedly as she held on for dear life.
Coming to a stop, he rested his forehead against hers. "I love you, Sarah MacKenzie. And I already thought about how to hide certain incriminating evidence while we're at the office... That's why I bought this." He pulled a gold chain out from somewhere, and she watched as he slid the ring off of her finger and onto the chain. Turning, she allowed him to fasten the chain around her neck.
Harm dropped his arms to her waist and watched over her shoulder as she absently fingered the chain. After a moment, she dropped the necklace under her collar and turned back to him.
He took her into his arms, whispering in her ear, "Now you can keep my ring close to your heart."
"That is so sappy, sailor!"
Mac looked up at him and smiled. Harm gazed back down at her. "I can't believe this!" they said simultaneously. Incredulously, they stared at each other before they burst out laughing. As their laughter subsided, Mac rested her head against his chest and sighed contentedly as she felt Harm rest his cheek on top of her head.
"We should probably split up before someone arrives for work early and stumbles onto our secret," he murmured into her hair a few minutes later.
"That would probably be a good idea," she replied, not moving from her secure position within his arms. After a few more stationary minutes, she felt his chest vibrate-he was laughing. She smiled, her eyes closed, and spoke again. "We're never going to be able to keep quiet about this, especially since we can't seem to let go of each other now."
"I bet you'll be the one who will let it slip first."
She looked up at him and stated simply, "I'm a Marine, Harm. They couldn't torture it out of me."
"Wanna bet?" he challenged.
"You're on," she stated matter-of-factly. Then she grinned as she thought of a good wager for their bet. "When you slip up, you get to accompany me for a nice, juicy steak."
"Um. don't I do that already?"
"Not when you order a steak, too," she smirked.
"Oh," he drawled, "So that's how it's going to be then. Well, when I win, you're going to be treated to my meatless meatloaf." Mac immediately cringed at the mention of the recipe that she had once referred to as toxic waste. "What, don't think you can do it, Marine?" he taunted when he saw her reaction.
"Of course I can do it. I was just remembering when I actually ate some of your meatless meatloaf. It's a very painful memory."
~
Same day 1825 EST Harm's Apartment North of Union Station
Harm stirred the pot of bow-tie pasta slowly while watching his fiancé perched on a barstool. He smiled as he caught himself referring to her as his fiancé already.
Mac was dressed in jeans and a form-fitting Marine-green shirt, which, in Harm's humble opinion, looked great on her. The chain was around her neck still, but since they were temporarily away from the scrutiny of the rest of the world, the ring was on her finger.
She was mesmerized by the sparkle of the diamond as she moved her hand under the light. She had never felt like this in all those months that she had worn Mic's ring. She thought about all that Harm's ring represented- this time she was sure that this was what she wanted for the rest of her life.
"When did you get it?" Mac asked, referring to the ring she was still admiring.
"The ring? I saw it a few weeks ago when I was getting ideas for your birthday present. I debated whether or not to buy it for a week before I finally went back," he paused in his dinner preparations and watched her move the gold band so that the diamond was perfectly centered on her finger. "I guess I did a good job. I wasn't planning on giving it to you till your birthday, though."
Turning her attention from the ring on her finger to the man in front of her, she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso. "Thank you," she said simply, her cheek resting on his back.
"You're welcome," he replied, covering her clasped fingers with one of his hands while he stirred the pasta with the other. After a pause, he hesitantly asked, "Are you sure we're not moving too fast?"
"Too fast?" she repeated, considering the question. "Harm, we've known each other for what-six, seven years now?"
"But we've only been together for a small fraction of that time, and in secret to boot."
"But we were best friends before that." She watched him add seasonings to the sauce before speaking again. "I think we both know that this relationship was a long time in coming. We have a strong friendship at the base of everything. And most importantly, this feels right to me."
"It feels right to me, too." She could almost hear him smiling. "I guess that's why you're wearing your birthday present a month early-it just felt right."
She let go of him so he could move to the sink and drain the pasta. Returning to her stool, she watched him finish dinner preparations; she had learned quickly that any offer to help would be turned down, so she simply enjoyed the view. He looked so good in jeans with an unbuttoned slate grey shirt thrown on over his white undershirt. Not to mention he was fixing something delicious for her to eat; whoever had decided that 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach' would have had to change the statement if they had known about Mac's appetite.
"So, Harm. when are we going to start telling people?" she asked.
He looked up from the pan where he was mixing the pasta with a fragrant Alfredo sauce. "I don't know. Why? You want to lose the bet already?" He grinned before turning his attention back to their meal.
"Of course not. I just wouldn't mind sharing that the most wonderful man in the world wants me to be his wife." She saw a smile spread across his face.
"Well," he started to say as he spooned pasta on to two plates and handed them to Mac, "we do need some time to figure out what we're going to do about regulations." He followed her to the table with a salad bowl and a basket of garlic rolls, "How 'bout we see if we can hold out to your birthday. Should a month and a half be enough time to decide everything we need to before going public?"
"I think that sounds good." she allowed him to push in her chair as she sat down, "but what sounds even better right now is eating dinner!"
Harm laughed as he sat down, "You and your stomach. If keeping you happy involves keeping you fed, I think I can do that for the rest of my life. Didn't know it would be so easy to please a jarhead."
~
6 weeks later 2230 EST Mac's Apartment Georgetown
Mac was thinking as she rested her head in Harm's lap and stared up at him from where she was laying on the couch. Harm was absently playing with her hair with one hand while reading through a file that he was holding with the other. She interrupted him by voicing her thoughts. "You know we're going to have to tell the admiral before we announce anything."
Harm chuckled once he caught on to what she was talking about, "Well, I can tell your mind isn't on getting any work done tonight." He pushed the manila file folder off to the side. Tracing the edge of her jaw with a finger, he smiled as he thought about how lucky he was to be able to hold her, even though it still had to be when no one else could see them.
"What are we going to do, Harm?" she asked quietly, looking at the ball- point pen she was absently fingering; her notes were lying long-forgotten on her stomach. "We said we were going to talk about this, and we haven't gotten around to how this is going to affect our careers yet. You said you'd look into it, but my birthday is next weekend, and we're supposed to tell all of our friends."
He silenced her with a finger over her lips. He saw that she was visibly getting more worked up about it as more of her fears voiced themselves. "First things first-you're going to calm down, Marine." He felt her relax, so he removed his finger from her lips. "I said I'd look into it, and I have. Admiral Chegwidden is working on it. I actually was going to speak to him first thing in the morning to see if he's come up with anything. He seemed to want to see how far he could stretch the Admiral's privilege to keep both of us around."
"You already told the admiral?"
"Not exactly-he figured it out himself. But it's not that hard when you pose a hypothetical situation like 'two senior attorneys under your chain of command want to pursue a romantic relationship, but they want to know the repercussions to their careers before they make their relationship official.'"
"I guess I should just thank my lucky stars that Singer and her bionic ears weren't anywhere close by for that conversation," Mac chuckled, trying to imagine the hypothetical discussion between Harm and their CO. Both men would have known exactly what Harm was talking about, but because of pride and regulations, neither would have come out and said it.
"If she had, I'm sure that we would both be facing fraternization charges while Singer added two more marks to her tally sheet of the people she'd crushed on her march to the top," Harm said sarcastically.
Mac rolled off the couch and made herself comfortable sitting on the floor. Her notes had scattered across the carpet, but she could care less at the moment. She planted her elbows on the couch cushions and propped her chin on her clasped hands. "Well, we're not facing charges for fraternization, and we only have a week more to keep this under wraps." Smiling enigmatically, she looked up at Harm, ".and if what you told me is true, the admiral is on our side, so we don't have a thing to worry about."
"Except this case that we have to be ready to present in court tomorrow morning," Harm said lightly, not wanting to completely destroy Mac's optimistic mood. Standing, he extended his arm to help her up. As soon as she was on her feet, they automatically gravitated into each other's arms. "I hate to kick you out, but it's getting late. I don't want you to be too tired to drive home. And it's not like you were getting any work done here anyway."
She let him kiss her lightly on the lips before she agreed that he was right. Harm helped her collect her notes and the files she wanted to look over at home. Slipping on a pair of shoes, he opened the door for her and walked her to her car.
After unlocking her car, she allowed him to hold the door open for her. "Night, flyboy," she said after sliding into the driver's seat. "I love you."
"Love you, too," he replied. "Drive safely. I'll see you in the morning." He saw her flash a small smile as he closed the car door. He waved as she pulled away, and then watched her taillights disappear before turning back to his building.
~
1 week later 1315 EST Harm's Apartment North of Union Station
"Happy Birthday, ma'am!" Harriet smiled as she walked up to Mac.
"Thank you, Harriet. And we're not at work. Call me Mac."
"Sorry. Force of habit." After a brief pause while both women watched the other guests interact, Harriet spoke again. "It was nice of Commander Rabb to do all this for you."
Mac raised her eyebrows. "You didn't help plan this?"
"I helped him chose what to serve, but otherwise, he was on his own. He seemed determined to do this by himself, so I just told him if he needed any more help to give me a call."
"You think you know a person, and then they do something that completely surprises you," Mac mused as she looked around Harm's decorated apartment in a new light. Streamers and balloons were all in the same two colors: forest green, and a deep burgundy that complemented it perfectly. The guests were in small groups, talking and laughing over sparkling burgundy punch and hors d'oeuvres. He really had done a good job pulling together an informal gathering of their friends.
Mac was distracted from her contemplation by a movement beside her. Harriet head reached out for the necklace that had somehow worked itself out from underneath the collar of Mac's blouse. "Ma'am, your necklace." Before Mac could think to politely refuse the help, Harriet had successfully 'rescued' the chain and was holding a certain ring between her fingers.
"Ma'am?" she asked with a look of patented Roberts' naïveté.
Mac quickly tucked the ring back under her blouse. "It was a gift from someone special," was all she said by way of explanation, hoping that Harriet didn't figure it out and tell everyone at the party before her and Harm finally made their announcement. Out of all their co-workers, Harriet had been the hardest to deceive.
Harriet was about to ask who the 'someone special' was when Harm fortuitously chose that moment to join them.
He handed Mac a glass of punch and smiled at Harriet. "Where's little AJ?" he asked, trying to stay a discreet distance from his fiancé without making it obvious that he was trying to maintain his distance. He was so glad they were finally going to make their engagement official tonight; it was getting harder and harder to keep everything strictly professional with Mac when in the presence of others-which was most of the time.
"I got a baby-sitter. I didn't want you to have to set all of this up and toddler-proof, too! AJ is just getting into everything now!" she babbled, seeming to forget all about the necklace while talking about her son; Mac breathed a mental sigh of relief at the reprieve.
"You didn't have to do that, Harriet, but I guess you're right about this place not being exactly child-proof," Harm conceded. He hazarded a quick glance at Mac to see if she had picked up any of the double meaning that could be read into that statement. She had an oddly bemused look on her face, and she raised her eyebrows questioningly when she caught him looking at her. He just smiled and shrugged.
It was then that Mac remembered that they had an audience for their little exchange, but Harriet was looking past her two superior officers. She looked back at Harm and asked, "You invited Mr. Webb?"
Harm and Mac both turned to see the newest party arrival. Mac repeated Harriet's question.
Harm shrugged. "I didn't think he'd actually show up, but I figured that since he's known us about as long as we've known each other, it wouldn't hurt to invite him."
"Just keep the admiral away from him," Mac said under her breath as their trench coat-clad compatriot walked over to them.
"Clay," Harm shook hands with the CIA agent, "I'm so glad you could make it."
"Harm," Webb acknowledged the other man, then turned to the guest of honor. He handed her a small box wrapped in metallic paper. "Happy birthday, Mac. Unfortunately, I can't stay for cake and party games. I thought I would drop by and offer my congratulations, though. or have you not announced your engagement yet?"
"How did you.?" Harm started to ask as Mac looked around to see if Harriet had heard.
"She left as soon as she saw me coming, Mac," Clay said in his borderline- condescending voice. "And as to how I know, Rabb-I have my sources."
Harm and Mac looked at each other, a whole conversation encompassed in a split second of eye contact.
Webb cleared his throat. "As I said, I have to be going. Harm, thank you for inviting me. Mac, enjoy your party."
"Thank you for stopping by," Harm said, "Let me walk you to the door."
Clay held up a hand. "Not necessary. I'll show myself out."
As soon as he was out of earshot, Harm finished his earlier question, "How on earth did he know?"
"He's Webb. He knows everything. Or he thinks he does," Mac replied sardonically. "Let's just leave it at that."
"Did you tell someone?" Harm was suspicious at her casual brush-off of the subject.
"Not on your life, flyboy! I'm not eating your meatless meatloaf if I can possibly avoid it!"
"Then the only people who know are you, me, the admiral, and my grandmother."
"You told someone!" Mac practically squealed, seeing victory in his slip- up. "You lose the bet! Prepare to eat steak, Stick Boy!"
"Keep your voice down unless you want to tell everyone right now!" he hissed at her. "I didn't tell, at least not after we made the bet. I always talk to Gram when I want advice. I called her when I was debating whether or not to buy you the ring."
"Oh," she conceded, figuring it sounded plausible. A moment later, she anxiously asked, "So, when are we going to announce it?"
"Soon," was all he said as he smiled and walked away to talk to some of the other guests.
~
Everyone was laughing and talking as Mac showed off the last gift she'd opened-a cute stuffed dinosaur from little AJ that he'd purchased with a little help from his Uncle Harm. Obviously, Harm had wrapped it for her because it had taken her forever to get through the multiple layers of tissue paper sealed with a few layers of clear packing tape.
"I think that's everything," Harriet told Mac. The young lieutenant had assumed the job of handing Mac the gifts to unwrap. The birthday girl was seated on the couch with a stack of opened presents on one side and Harm (with a giant plastic garbage bag full of crumpled wrapping paper) on the other.
"Thank you, everyone," Mac said, smiling as she looked at all of the happy faces of her friends.
Harm stood up to address the room before anyone could start individual conversations or try to take their leave. "I want to thank you all for coming out here, but before everyone wanders off."
Mac knew she had to have the biggest grin on her face. He was finally going to announce their engagement, or so she though until he got down on one knee in front of her. She was taken aback at the unexpected gesture. Hadn't he already done this? And twice?
"Sarah." he started, taking her hands in his. The room had become deathly quiet as everyone watched the scene unfolding in the center of the room. You could have heard a pin drop when he addressed her by her given name. "I know I asked you this seven and a half long weeks ago, but I wanted to make it official with all of our friends here as witnesses. Will you marry me?"
She smiled beautifully at him as she answered, "I haven't changed my mind yet, so yes, I'll marry you."
Leaning toward her a little, he stage whispered, "May I have the ring back so I can do this properly?" She giggled at the silliness of the entire situation as she reached up and pulled the chain out from under her blouse. Unclasping it, she slid the ring off onto her palm and allowed Harm to take it from her. She heard Harriet gasp as the younger woman realized what she had accidentally stumbled onto earlier that day.
As Harm slid the ring onto his fiancé's finger, Bobbie broke the silence and loudly exclaimed, "It's about damn time!" All of their friends laughed. Mac blushed slightly at all of the attention as Harm finished placing the ring on her finger, then kissed the back of her hand. About two seconds later, Harriet was squealing her congratulations and trying to get another look at the ring.
Harm stood up and backed off so that the rest of the women could swarm to Mac to see her ring. He turned when someone clapped his hand down on his shoulder.
"Congratulations, buddy. I was beginning to wonder if you two would ever figure out what to do with all the chemistry between you," Sturgis said.
"I thought I told you not to get too close, Commander," AJ Chegwidden said from behind him. Both commanders turned to face the stoic admiral.
"I don't remember that being an order, sir," Harm cautiously replied.
"No, I guess it wasn't." AJ broke out into a grin and stuck out his hand. Harm shook hands as the admiral added his congratulations.
"Hey, Harm." Bobbie had pulled away from the cluster of females around Mac. She continued when she saw that she had his attention. "Where did you find that ring? It's gorgeous!"
Harm laughed because he noticed that Bobbie was looking pointedly at Sturgis while she asked the question. Mac was also watching with an amused smile on her face. Her eyes met with Harm's over the heads of their excited friends, and at that moment they both knew that this didn't just feel right, it was right.
******
Written April 22 - May 22, 2002
******
0607 EST JAG Headquarters Falls Church, Virginia
Mac looked up from her paperwork when she heard her office door open. Pleasantly surprised, she put down her work.
"You must have been running at mach speed this morning to get to work so early!" she teased, standing to greet her partner.
"It wasn't the same without a certain jarhead there to slow me down," he teased back, meeting her in front of her desk. "I cut a few corners and decided to come in early so I could see you for a few moments before anyone else got here. After all, I didn't get my morning kiss," he hinted, reaching out to push a strand of hair out of her face.
"Harm, we're in the office!" she protested feebly, trying to maintain her Marine decorum while his hand caressed her cheek. "And I've got a lot of work to get done this morning before the actual work day starts!"
"No one's here to see us," he moved his hands to her waist and gently pulled her to him. Glancing at the desk, he raised his eyebrows and suggested, "I know of one way we could clear your desk rather quickly."
He watched her eyes widen at the innuendo. Then she smiled and decided to play along. "What sort of proposal is that supposed to be, sailor?"
"It's a good one, I think." He pushed her back against the edge of the desk and whispered in her ear, "No one would know, and I could help you pick up afterwards."
The whole exchange had gone from playful to heavy in a matter of moments, and she suddenly wasn't sure if he was teasing any more. Her immediate reaction was to push him away. "Harm. No."
He backed off immediately, loosening his grip so she could get the distance he knew she needed at that moment. After he'd given her a minute to compose herself, he quietly apologized, "I'm sorry, Mac. I only wanted to make a point that a little kiss wasn't such a big deal. I. I guess I got a little carried away. I'm sorry."
Her expression softened because she knew his apology was sincere. "You don't deserve a kiss," she watched his face go from contrite to heartbroken before she continued, "but the truth is that I missed you this morning, too."
Taking that as an invitation, Harm happily gathered her back in his arms.
"Better make it snappy, Commander, 'cause I got a lot of work to do," she smiled as he leaned down to kiss her. After they parted, she turned to walk back to her desk, but he caught her and pulled her back to him, her back against his chest.
"I really don't have time this morning." she said, but he could tell that her heart wasn't really into her protest. He couldn't see her face, but she had closed her eyes and was enjoying the security she felt with his arms wrapped around her.
"Mac," he started quietly, not sure if this was the right time to bring up the subject he'd been thinking about all week, "I know we both agreed that we shouldn't try to move too fast, and sleeping together would make it harder to keep this a secret. but when are we going to take our relationship to the next step?"
He felt her sigh before he heard her soft reply, "What do you want me to say, Harm? Do you want me to give you a specific date? A general time frame?"
He pulled her closer to him and felt her arms wrap themselves over his. "I want you to tell me how you feel about this. I'm not trying to pressure you. I just want to know when you feel we will both be ready to move on to other. ah, aspects of this relationship. unless you don't think we'll ever get to that point."
"Harm," she quietly cut him off as she heard him start to falter at the end of his last statement, "We've both been through some relationships that didn't end well. I don't want to lose what we have been building between us." It was her turn to falter as she said, "I. I think that we should wait until we know that this is permanent."
He was silent for a moment, which gave Mac enough time to begin fretting that she had pushed too hard. A split second later, she froze as she heard quiet words whispered from behind her, words she thought she'd never hear spoken to her by Harmon Rabb, Jr.: "Marry me."
After her initial shock, her thoughts began tumbling through her head at a million miles a minute, trying to discern whether he was seriously proposing or just joking around with her. In the span of second, her mind convinced her that this couldn't possibly be happening.
"I would, sailor," she said as she released herself from his hold. "But you see," she turned to him, leaning against the edge of her desk, "I've got all this work to do, so I couldn't possibly fit that into my schedule today."
He looked taken aback for a moment as he caught onto the fact that she wasn't taking this seriously. And as he registered that fact, Mac saw the confusion in his eyes, and she realized that she had read him wrong. Recovering first, Harm went along with it, "Well, I guess I'll just have to try again later." He flashed a brief smile before making a quick retreat through the office door.
Mac moaned as she sagged against the wall of her office. "What have I done?" she asked no one in particular. Of course, no one answered. Ten minutes later, she still didn't have an answer, but she was seated back at her desk, trying to force herself to finish the work she needed to get done. Despite her need to focus on the papers in front of her, she couldn't get herself to do it. She couldn't stop mentally berating herself for her ill-chosen comment.
"You don't seem to be getting anything done."
She looked up to see Harm standing in the doorway for the second time that morning. He looked very serious, standing there with his hands clasped behind his back, just watching her.
"I. well, I guess my mind's on other things," she stumbled over her words as he walked into her office.
He stood beside her now, towering over her seated form. Slowly, he lowered himself till he was more at her level. She watched as he brought something out from behind his back. Her eyes grew wide as she realized that he was holding a small velvet box. and he was down on one knee.
"You didn't seem to think that I was serious about my proposal," he started, looking up into her eyes, "and I debated whether or not I wanted to convince you that I was serious after seeing your reaction. but I saw you in here, and I knew you were beating yourself up over what you said, so I thought I'd give you a second chance."
He grinned crookedly, eliciting a small smile from her, which in turn gave him the courage to go forward with his proposal. "I hadn't planned on doing this today, but I guess my schedule has a little bit more room than yours does." Her smile widened at his little joke as she realized that he wasn't going to hold her earlier reaction against her for the rest of her life. Carefully opening the green velvet box, he held it in front of her and asked, "Sarah MacKenzie, will you marry me?"
Mac reached out as if to touch the ring. After letting her hand hover over it for what seemed like an eternity, she said softly, "Harm, it's beautiful."
He knew that there was more behind what she was saying just by the tone of her voice. "But.?" he prompted, suddenly afraid that he'd read the signs wrong, moved too fast and jeopardized everything they'd built between them over the past months that they'd been quasi-dating. The only upside he had come up with to combat this fear was that at least no one knew that they were even romantically involved since they had mutually decided that their relationship was best kept a secret.
He broke out of his fear-induced reverie when Mac finally touched the ring, pulling it from the foam bed of the velvety box. His heart stopped for a moment as he watched her slide the shiny golden band onto her left ring finger. She looked up at him and laughed. "Don't look so worried! I was just going to say that rumors about our relationship are really going to start flying if I start flashing this ring around the office."
Harm smiled back, letting out a shaky breath. "So, is that a yes?"
Leaning down till she was nose to nose with him, she said, "I guess I could live with being married to a squid, so yes, I'll marry you, Harmon Rabb."
His reaction was immediate-he was like a sixteen-year-old who had just been handed the keys to the car of his dreams. He whooped for joy as he stood, pulling her up with him and swinging her around in his arms. She laughed delightedly as she held on for dear life.
Coming to a stop, he rested his forehead against hers. "I love you, Sarah MacKenzie. And I already thought about how to hide certain incriminating evidence while we're at the office... That's why I bought this." He pulled a gold chain out from somewhere, and she watched as he slid the ring off of her finger and onto the chain. Turning, she allowed him to fasten the chain around her neck.
Harm dropped his arms to her waist and watched over her shoulder as she absently fingered the chain. After a moment, she dropped the necklace under her collar and turned back to him.
He took her into his arms, whispering in her ear, "Now you can keep my ring close to your heart."
"That is so sappy, sailor!"
Mac looked up at him and smiled. Harm gazed back down at her. "I can't believe this!" they said simultaneously. Incredulously, they stared at each other before they burst out laughing. As their laughter subsided, Mac rested her head against his chest and sighed contentedly as she felt Harm rest his cheek on top of her head.
"We should probably split up before someone arrives for work early and stumbles onto our secret," he murmured into her hair a few minutes later.
"That would probably be a good idea," she replied, not moving from her secure position within his arms. After a few more stationary minutes, she felt his chest vibrate-he was laughing. She smiled, her eyes closed, and spoke again. "We're never going to be able to keep quiet about this, especially since we can't seem to let go of each other now."
"I bet you'll be the one who will let it slip first."
She looked up at him and stated simply, "I'm a Marine, Harm. They couldn't torture it out of me."
"Wanna bet?" he challenged.
"You're on," she stated matter-of-factly. Then she grinned as she thought of a good wager for their bet. "When you slip up, you get to accompany me for a nice, juicy steak."
"Um. don't I do that already?"
"Not when you order a steak, too," she smirked.
"Oh," he drawled, "So that's how it's going to be then. Well, when I win, you're going to be treated to my meatless meatloaf." Mac immediately cringed at the mention of the recipe that she had once referred to as toxic waste. "What, don't think you can do it, Marine?" he taunted when he saw her reaction.
"Of course I can do it. I was just remembering when I actually ate some of your meatless meatloaf. It's a very painful memory."
~
Same day 1825 EST Harm's Apartment North of Union Station
Harm stirred the pot of bow-tie pasta slowly while watching his fiancé perched on a barstool. He smiled as he caught himself referring to her as his fiancé already.
Mac was dressed in jeans and a form-fitting Marine-green shirt, which, in Harm's humble opinion, looked great on her. The chain was around her neck still, but since they were temporarily away from the scrutiny of the rest of the world, the ring was on her finger.
She was mesmerized by the sparkle of the diamond as she moved her hand under the light. She had never felt like this in all those months that she had worn Mic's ring. She thought about all that Harm's ring represented- this time she was sure that this was what she wanted for the rest of her life.
"When did you get it?" Mac asked, referring to the ring she was still admiring.
"The ring? I saw it a few weeks ago when I was getting ideas for your birthday present. I debated whether or not to buy it for a week before I finally went back," he paused in his dinner preparations and watched her move the gold band so that the diamond was perfectly centered on her finger. "I guess I did a good job. I wasn't planning on giving it to you till your birthday, though."
Turning her attention from the ring on her finger to the man in front of her, she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso. "Thank you," she said simply, her cheek resting on his back.
"You're welcome," he replied, covering her clasped fingers with one of his hands while he stirred the pasta with the other. After a pause, he hesitantly asked, "Are you sure we're not moving too fast?"
"Too fast?" she repeated, considering the question. "Harm, we've known each other for what-six, seven years now?"
"But we've only been together for a small fraction of that time, and in secret to boot."
"But we were best friends before that." She watched him add seasonings to the sauce before speaking again. "I think we both know that this relationship was a long time in coming. We have a strong friendship at the base of everything. And most importantly, this feels right to me."
"It feels right to me, too." She could almost hear him smiling. "I guess that's why you're wearing your birthday present a month early-it just felt right."
She let go of him so he could move to the sink and drain the pasta. Returning to her stool, she watched him finish dinner preparations; she had learned quickly that any offer to help would be turned down, so she simply enjoyed the view. He looked so good in jeans with an unbuttoned slate grey shirt thrown on over his white undershirt. Not to mention he was fixing something delicious for her to eat; whoever had decided that 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach' would have had to change the statement if they had known about Mac's appetite.
"So, Harm. when are we going to start telling people?" she asked.
He looked up from the pan where he was mixing the pasta with a fragrant Alfredo sauce. "I don't know. Why? You want to lose the bet already?" He grinned before turning his attention back to their meal.
"Of course not. I just wouldn't mind sharing that the most wonderful man in the world wants me to be his wife." She saw a smile spread across his face.
"Well," he started to say as he spooned pasta on to two plates and handed them to Mac, "we do need some time to figure out what we're going to do about regulations." He followed her to the table with a salad bowl and a basket of garlic rolls, "How 'bout we see if we can hold out to your birthday. Should a month and a half be enough time to decide everything we need to before going public?"
"I think that sounds good." she allowed him to push in her chair as she sat down, "but what sounds even better right now is eating dinner!"
Harm laughed as he sat down, "You and your stomach. If keeping you happy involves keeping you fed, I think I can do that for the rest of my life. Didn't know it would be so easy to please a jarhead."
~
6 weeks later 2230 EST Mac's Apartment Georgetown
Mac was thinking as she rested her head in Harm's lap and stared up at him from where she was laying on the couch. Harm was absently playing with her hair with one hand while reading through a file that he was holding with the other. She interrupted him by voicing her thoughts. "You know we're going to have to tell the admiral before we announce anything."
Harm chuckled once he caught on to what she was talking about, "Well, I can tell your mind isn't on getting any work done tonight." He pushed the manila file folder off to the side. Tracing the edge of her jaw with a finger, he smiled as he thought about how lucky he was to be able to hold her, even though it still had to be when no one else could see them.
"What are we going to do, Harm?" she asked quietly, looking at the ball- point pen she was absently fingering; her notes were lying long-forgotten on her stomach. "We said we were going to talk about this, and we haven't gotten around to how this is going to affect our careers yet. You said you'd look into it, but my birthday is next weekend, and we're supposed to tell all of our friends."
He silenced her with a finger over her lips. He saw that she was visibly getting more worked up about it as more of her fears voiced themselves. "First things first-you're going to calm down, Marine." He felt her relax, so he removed his finger from her lips. "I said I'd look into it, and I have. Admiral Chegwidden is working on it. I actually was going to speak to him first thing in the morning to see if he's come up with anything. He seemed to want to see how far he could stretch the Admiral's privilege to keep both of us around."
"You already told the admiral?"
"Not exactly-he figured it out himself. But it's not that hard when you pose a hypothetical situation like 'two senior attorneys under your chain of command want to pursue a romantic relationship, but they want to know the repercussions to their careers before they make their relationship official.'"
"I guess I should just thank my lucky stars that Singer and her bionic ears weren't anywhere close by for that conversation," Mac chuckled, trying to imagine the hypothetical discussion between Harm and their CO. Both men would have known exactly what Harm was talking about, but because of pride and regulations, neither would have come out and said it.
"If she had, I'm sure that we would both be facing fraternization charges while Singer added two more marks to her tally sheet of the people she'd crushed on her march to the top," Harm said sarcastically.
Mac rolled off the couch and made herself comfortable sitting on the floor. Her notes had scattered across the carpet, but she could care less at the moment. She planted her elbows on the couch cushions and propped her chin on her clasped hands. "Well, we're not facing charges for fraternization, and we only have a week more to keep this under wraps." Smiling enigmatically, she looked up at Harm, ".and if what you told me is true, the admiral is on our side, so we don't have a thing to worry about."
"Except this case that we have to be ready to present in court tomorrow morning," Harm said lightly, not wanting to completely destroy Mac's optimistic mood. Standing, he extended his arm to help her up. As soon as she was on her feet, they automatically gravitated into each other's arms. "I hate to kick you out, but it's getting late. I don't want you to be too tired to drive home. And it's not like you were getting any work done here anyway."
She let him kiss her lightly on the lips before she agreed that he was right. Harm helped her collect her notes and the files she wanted to look over at home. Slipping on a pair of shoes, he opened the door for her and walked her to her car.
After unlocking her car, she allowed him to hold the door open for her. "Night, flyboy," she said after sliding into the driver's seat. "I love you."
"Love you, too," he replied. "Drive safely. I'll see you in the morning." He saw her flash a small smile as he closed the car door. He waved as she pulled away, and then watched her taillights disappear before turning back to his building.
~
1 week later 1315 EST Harm's Apartment North of Union Station
"Happy Birthday, ma'am!" Harriet smiled as she walked up to Mac.
"Thank you, Harriet. And we're not at work. Call me Mac."
"Sorry. Force of habit." After a brief pause while both women watched the other guests interact, Harriet spoke again. "It was nice of Commander Rabb to do all this for you."
Mac raised her eyebrows. "You didn't help plan this?"
"I helped him chose what to serve, but otherwise, he was on his own. He seemed determined to do this by himself, so I just told him if he needed any more help to give me a call."
"You think you know a person, and then they do something that completely surprises you," Mac mused as she looked around Harm's decorated apartment in a new light. Streamers and balloons were all in the same two colors: forest green, and a deep burgundy that complemented it perfectly. The guests were in small groups, talking and laughing over sparkling burgundy punch and hors d'oeuvres. He really had done a good job pulling together an informal gathering of their friends.
Mac was distracted from her contemplation by a movement beside her. Harriet head reached out for the necklace that had somehow worked itself out from underneath the collar of Mac's blouse. "Ma'am, your necklace." Before Mac could think to politely refuse the help, Harriet had successfully 'rescued' the chain and was holding a certain ring between her fingers.
"Ma'am?" she asked with a look of patented Roberts' naïveté.
Mac quickly tucked the ring back under her blouse. "It was a gift from someone special," was all she said by way of explanation, hoping that Harriet didn't figure it out and tell everyone at the party before her and Harm finally made their announcement. Out of all their co-workers, Harriet had been the hardest to deceive.
Harriet was about to ask who the 'someone special' was when Harm fortuitously chose that moment to join them.
He handed Mac a glass of punch and smiled at Harriet. "Where's little AJ?" he asked, trying to stay a discreet distance from his fiancé without making it obvious that he was trying to maintain his distance. He was so glad they were finally going to make their engagement official tonight; it was getting harder and harder to keep everything strictly professional with Mac when in the presence of others-which was most of the time.
"I got a baby-sitter. I didn't want you to have to set all of this up and toddler-proof, too! AJ is just getting into everything now!" she babbled, seeming to forget all about the necklace while talking about her son; Mac breathed a mental sigh of relief at the reprieve.
"You didn't have to do that, Harriet, but I guess you're right about this place not being exactly child-proof," Harm conceded. He hazarded a quick glance at Mac to see if she had picked up any of the double meaning that could be read into that statement. She had an oddly bemused look on her face, and she raised her eyebrows questioningly when she caught him looking at her. He just smiled and shrugged.
It was then that Mac remembered that they had an audience for their little exchange, but Harriet was looking past her two superior officers. She looked back at Harm and asked, "You invited Mr. Webb?"
Harm and Mac both turned to see the newest party arrival. Mac repeated Harriet's question.
Harm shrugged. "I didn't think he'd actually show up, but I figured that since he's known us about as long as we've known each other, it wouldn't hurt to invite him."
"Just keep the admiral away from him," Mac said under her breath as their trench coat-clad compatriot walked over to them.
"Clay," Harm shook hands with the CIA agent, "I'm so glad you could make it."
"Harm," Webb acknowledged the other man, then turned to the guest of honor. He handed her a small box wrapped in metallic paper. "Happy birthday, Mac. Unfortunately, I can't stay for cake and party games. I thought I would drop by and offer my congratulations, though. or have you not announced your engagement yet?"
"How did you.?" Harm started to ask as Mac looked around to see if Harriet had heard.
"She left as soon as she saw me coming, Mac," Clay said in his borderline- condescending voice. "And as to how I know, Rabb-I have my sources."
Harm and Mac looked at each other, a whole conversation encompassed in a split second of eye contact.
Webb cleared his throat. "As I said, I have to be going. Harm, thank you for inviting me. Mac, enjoy your party."
"Thank you for stopping by," Harm said, "Let me walk you to the door."
Clay held up a hand. "Not necessary. I'll show myself out."
As soon as he was out of earshot, Harm finished his earlier question, "How on earth did he know?"
"He's Webb. He knows everything. Or he thinks he does," Mac replied sardonically. "Let's just leave it at that."
"Did you tell someone?" Harm was suspicious at her casual brush-off of the subject.
"Not on your life, flyboy! I'm not eating your meatless meatloaf if I can possibly avoid it!"
"Then the only people who know are you, me, the admiral, and my grandmother."
"You told someone!" Mac practically squealed, seeing victory in his slip- up. "You lose the bet! Prepare to eat steak, Stick Boy!"
"Keep your voice down unless you want to tell everyone right now!" he hissed at her. "I didn't tell, at least not after we made the bet. I always talk to Gram when I want advice. I called her when I was debating whether or not to buy you the ring."
"Oh," she conceded, figuring it sounded plausible. A moment later, she anxiously asked, "So, when are we going to announce it?"
"Soon," was all he said as he smiled and walked away to talk to some of the other guests.
~
Everyone was laughing and talking as Mac showed off the last gift she'd opened-a cute stuffed dinosaur from little AJ that he'd purchased with a little help from his Uncle Harm. Obviously, Harm had wrapped it for her because it had taken her forever to get through the multiple layers of tissue paper sealed with a few layers of clear packing tape.
"I think that's everything," Harriet told Mac. The young lieutenant had assumed the job of handing Mac the gifts to unwrap. The birthday girl was seated on the couch with a stack of opened presents on one side and Harm (with a giant plastic garbage bag full of crumpled wrapping paper) on the other.
"Thank you, everyone," Mac said, smiling as she looked at all of the happy faces of her friends.
Harm stood up to address the room before anyone could start individual conversations or try to take their leave. "I want to thank you all for coming out here, but before everyone wanders off."
Mac knew she had to have the biggest grin on her face. He was finally going to announce their engagement, or so she though until he got down on one knee in front of her. She was taken aback at the unexpected gesture. Hadn't he already done this? And twice?
"Sarah." he started, taking her hands in his. The room had become deathly quiet as everyone watched the scene unfolding in the center of the room. You could have heard a pin drop when he addressed her by her given name. "I know I asked you this seven and a half long weeks ago, but I wanted to make it official with all of our friends here as witnesses. Will you marry me?"
She smiled beautifully at him as she answered, "I haven't changed my mind yet, so yes, I'll marry you."
Leaning toward her a little, he stage whispered, "May I have the ring back so I can do this properly?" She giggled at the silliness of the entire situation as she reached up and pulled the chain out from under her blouse. Unclasping it, she slid the ring off onto her palm and allowed Harm to take it from her. She heard Harriet gasp as the younger woman realized what she had accidentally stumbled onto earlier that day.
As Harm slid the ring onto his fiancé's finger, Bobbie broke the silence and loudly exclaimed, "It's about damn time!" All of their friends laughed. Mac blushed slightly at all of the attention as Harm finished placing the ring on her finger, then kissed the back of her hand. About two seconds later, Harriet was squealing her congratulations and trying to get another look at the ring.
Harm stood up and backed off so that the rest of the women could swarm to Mac to see her ring. He turned when someone clapped his hand down on his shoulder.
"Congratulations, buddy. I was beginning to wonder if you two would ever figure out what to do with all the chemistry between you," Sturgis said.
"I thought I told you not to get too close, Commander," AJ Chegwidden said from behind him. Both commanders turned to face the stoic admiral.
"I don't remember that being an order, sir," Harm cautiously replied.
"No, I guess it wasn't." AJ broke out into a grin and stuck out his hand. Harm shook hands as the admiral added his congratulations.
"Hey, Harm." Bobbie had pulled away from the cluster of females around Mac. She continued when she saw that she had his attention. "Where did you find that ring? It's gorgeous!"
Harm laughed because he noticed that Bobbie was looking pointedly at Sturgis while she asked the question. Mac was also watching with an amused smile on her face. Her eyes met with Harm's over the heads of their excited friends, and at that moment they both knew that this didn't just feel right, it was right.
******
Written April 22 - May 22, 2002