Summary: Since I love it when the good guys go bad, here is the beginning
of another Luna Aelf creation. Harry embraces his Slytherin side as the
battle for the wizarding world approaches. People will cry and people will
hurt, but some friendships will be key to decisions in later conflicts.
There will be mass confusion and chaos all around. Amid it, all will there
also be some love???
Parings: Draco and Harry!!*sizzle* and of course the usual and painfully obvious couplings.....*cough* 'Mione and Ron *cough* ^_^
Ratings: R... this fic will be exceptionally angsty and dramatic. I am a hopeless romantic so there will be love scenes^^! But alas, I will try to break poor Harry and co with all sorts of evil things running through my head!
Disclaimer: I do not own them and if I did well _ err... nevermind. No the goddess JKR owns the wonderful world of HP I am just a fan-girl toying with slightly OOC versions. But I will try to keep them as close as I can get to the originals.
A/N: I am currently working on this and How Can I Say... I love you?...so sorry if I take a bit to update at first. I am planning to make this a loooonnngggg fic! So if you want some one-shot action sorry! All reviews are welcome!
***********
"Oh what, may man within him hide though angel on the outward side."
William Shakespeare
***
This is who I am....... See the real me
***
The summer ended faster than any other had, if that was possible. The Dursleys had even been a little - err- nicer to him. He expected the slight change in behavior might have occurred because he had saved his cousin's arse the year before. Yep, stopping a dementor from sucking out Dudley's soul had its rewards.
If you considered being ignored completely a reward.
Harry was no stranger to being ignored, but it had never been like this. Usually when people played Lets-All-Ignore-Harry, they would still mutter snide remarks at or about him, unfortunately Harry did not think that his relatives would respond if he jumped up and down wearing dress.
He wrote to the members of the Order about twice a week- as he had been instructed, Ron and Hermione as well. It was even more frustrating than the last year. Last year he had dealt with the constant agony of waiting for Voldemort to do something drastic which would alert everyone to his presence.
Now that everyone already knew Voldemort was alive, Harry suffered the agony of waiting for Dumbledore to call upon him into battle for the wizarding world.
After all, he was just the tool. He was the weapon against the Dark Lord. He knew it - everyone else bloody knew it.
The-Boy-Who-Lived was the friggin Slave-Of-The-Light-Side.
He would be used when the Order felt he was ready. Like a good little slave, he would be used.
Such a pity if he died, a poor martyr for the Light.
But if he failed it would be Harry Potter, weak and the curse of all wizards, He-Who-Died or even better He-Who-Led-To-The-Defeat-Of-The-Light.
Harry felt chained to this fate, this destiny that never let him live in peace. He had to act the part of the "Golden Boy." He had to save everyone.
Harry stood in front of the bathroom mirror and gazed with some surprise at his appearance. He had changed dramatically. Or rather, he had just now noticed how much he had matured.
Harry was a bit taller now, though not nearly as tall as Ron was. His body was toned and he had muscle carved curves thanks to years of Quiddich practice. His skin was a healthy white that contrasted nicely with his always-unruly black hair. His eyes were bright and sparkling green and noticeable even from behind his glasses.
And of course, there was his scar.
Harry hated and loved his scar.
It was a part of him that he always wanted to keep, a sort of reminder of how much his parents had loved him, how they had died protecting him.
Yet, he loathed the fact that everyone knew him by it. People he had never met judged him strait away because of the scar. And whether he was adored or hated depended on the person view on the war.
Harry sighed. Now it was time to go to the Weasleys.
He sighed again; they had invited him to go to Grimmauld Place, but he could not- not after Sirius death.
Harry felt all to familiar feelings rush through him. Overwhelming grief and fury. Fury that had increased just as the guilty sorrow had taunted him. There was a stinging in his eyes.
NO! I will NOT start that!
I will NOT cry.
I am not weak.
I am strong.
I am- soo going to be late!
Harry rushed back into his untidy room and finished sweeping his things into his trunk. Just like last year, numerous Order members would flank Harry during his escape from the muggle world.
He had not actually seen anyone since the last day of school, and was a little surprised that he did not really care.
Dumbledore had stashed him away with his filthy muggle "family" and Harry silently seethed with the injustice of it all. Just like Sirius, he though with a sharp tug of pain that was hastily pushed aside.
Harry's green eyes looked impatiently out at the silent moon hanging in the sky as a nagging reminder of the late hour.
Where were they?
Harry's mind wandered aimlessly. His scar had not really been bothering him, though the constant buzz let him know that Voldemort was still active. And surprisingly enough, Harry had not had any important or informative dreams.
Well, not dreams that others would call important.
After all, he had always dreamed of the murder of his parents and now his godfather. Not to mention the death of Cedric and the horror of being possessed by a raving lunatic, the same bastard who had killed his parents.
Strange how everyone had died because of him. The Hero. His parents to protect him, Sirius because of his foolishness at being so easily manipulated and Cedric had only taken hold of the cup because he had persuaded the Hufflepuff boy to do so.
Ah well, he was the weapon. Kill or be killed was the new rule to live by.
But- but he did not think that he would keep up his Golden act any longer.
Not that breaking school rules practically ever day was "golden." It was just that Harry was tired of playing the martyr, the naive little savior.
He was proud of the good-boy facade it had fooled everyone. Even Dumbledore had been convinced that he was just content to be Harry-The-Savior. The old man's eyes showed too much.
It would actually be fun watching their faces as he mocked them in their time of distress. Watch as they slowly began to feel some of the pain he felt- some of the disillusionment.
Harry was not going to turn evil or anything. He just wanted to do the things that he had secretly wanted to do, to feel. Dumbledore's Golden Boy felt like rebelling, felt like letting his Slytherin side shine a bit more brightly.
That was something that Harry had admitted to no one. The fact that he had accepted the Slytherin inside of him. At first Harry had been disgusted at the thought of sharing similar traits with Voldemort. But he had realized that his parents gave their lives to protect him, and Voldemort giving Harry some of his power was just fate.
Besides what he could not change, he might as well enjoy.
Maybe Malfoy would reconsider having Harry as a friend.
Ok, maybe more of a new partner in crime.
Malfoy....
Harry smiled and his eyes glinted with malicious pleasure.
He did not really hate the Slytherin though everyone thought so. The proud "Prince of Darkness" as many called him, was someone Harry looked forward to greeting this year.
The intense sparring- the war that had existed between Harry and Malfoy was something that he had always reveled in. Something that had been constant, something that had helped keep him sane when he needed to vent his emotions.
In fact, Harry valued Malfoy's hatred more than any friendship he had. In truth, Malfoy had always hated him and had never wavered.
Harry smirked in disgust.
Ron and Hermione had doubted him before, even if they had come back to him in full force. They- like the headmaster- had kept their feelings from him, had excluded him in order to "protect" him.
After all, he was the weapon.
Malfoy had not lied on what he thought; rather he had made that quite clear.
Harry's smirk turned into a wide smile.
Yes, he would have fun this year looking at things from the other side.
The raven-haired boy chuckled softly as the Slytherin in him reared its head in joyous celebration.
~ ~ ~*~ ~ ~
After another mind wandering hour Harry smiled at the opening of the front door and nearly inaudible entrance of his "protectors."
A loud clang made him smirk - Tonks was here. Harry crept out of his room and climbed halfway down the stairs, wand clutched firmly. No need to take foolish risks.
Harry was strongly reminded of the summer before when he saw the four silhouettes standing in front of the front door. They were unaware of his presence in the shadows and Harry listened to their quiet conversation.
"Really Nymph- err- Tonks do try to be more careful."
"Sorry Arthur it was an accident."
"Kingsley could you help me with these blasted brooms?"
"Certainly, Remus maybe you should go and wake Harry."
"Yes, I don't suppose he will be to happy with us."
"What do ya mean Arthur? Harry has always been nice to me. Kingsley - the brooms?"
"Well, Nymph Dumbledore hasn't told him anything that's been going on. I understand why, but Harry won't"
"What do you mean?"
"Arthur Dumbledore can't tell Harry anything without seeing him first. I mean what if You-Know-Who is still getting inside of his head?"
"He never did finish the Occulmency lessons did he?"
"No."
"You can't blame the kid. Look at the slimy git of a teacher he had."
"Tonks! Mind your tongue. Come on now we best wake Harry"
Harry, leaning against the wall enveloped in shadows, had listened with interest.
When Lupin stepped upon the fist stair Harry spoke calmly yet coldly.
"You're late."
The response was instant; wands were pointed in his direction and lit. Harry smirked at Tonks shocked gasp. She stammered slightly.
"Harry were you there the whole time?"
He rolled his eyes at that and laughed softly.
"Of course. How could I not with the racket you never fail at producing?"
Tonks blushed and the others snorted in agreement. In the wand light Harry could make out the faces of Remus Lupin, Arthur Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt and of course Tonks.
Lupin amused smile faded and he frowned a little.
"Did you - did you hear everything Harry?"
"Yes Professor, but it wasn't new to me. I had figured out almost everything by myself."
"Oh- well Dumbledore was going to speak to you about it. Ok then, lets go get your things Harry."
Harry nodded in agreement but turned away before he could place his hand on Harry's shoulder in greeting. Harry walked up the stairs and brought out his trunk, then they made their way to the Burrow.
~ ~ ~*~ ~ ~
Harry's last week of summer break was spent in the warm comforts of the Burrow. He knew that the others noticed a slight change in him, but he was careful not to show too much.
Hermione arrived three days before the end of the break and Harry kept his secret even more so. She was one of the only ones who might see the change in him and realize what it meant. But luckily for Harry, Hermione was kept entertained by Ginny and Ron and only asked if he was feeling ok. One mention of his still painful feelings for Sirius was enough to make her shut up though.
When listing the things he needed from Diagon Alley Harry made sure to suck up and ask if Mrs. Weasley would select his clothing in darker colors. Gratefully enough she had done a splendid job, writing off the choice of clothing as a "boy" thing.
He had nearly purred his approval as he unwrapped the parcels. Everything was black, gray or deep emerald. And it all looked expensive. There was silk and cotton abound and Harry smirked while his eyes nearly gleamed in pleasure.
"Looks like someone had fun shopping."
Members of the Order arrived the day that they were to be off, and Harry did not hide his annoyance well.
People kept beaming at him and hugged him non-stop. Finally, after some seething glares from the ruffled boy, an awkward silence hung over the group as they stepped onto the Platform.
After they had shoved their trunks into one of the last compartments and said their goodbyes, Lupin caught Harry's wrist as he turned to climb aboard.
"Harry are you sure you are all right? You have been acting strange lately."
The train whistle blew. Harry turned to leave again, pulling away from the concerned man.
"Harry! What is wrong? Please tell me. Is it- is it about Sirius?"
Lupin put his hand on Harry's shoulder comfortingly but Harry jerked away furious.
"Don't touch me- wolf!"
Harry near-shouted. The other Order members turned to where they stood, and Mrs. Weasley stepped forward. Harry smirked at the look of shock mirrored by the adults. Even Mad-Eye Moody looked put off, both eyes resting on him.
The whistle blew again.
"I don't need your petty concerns, ok? Spare me the tears. I'm not upset about Sirius. The fool is dead. Now as much as I enjoyed your simpering company, my train is leaving."
The hurt in their eyes felt so good. Let them cry let them feel it. Harry laughed coldly, turned and climbed aboard the train. Instantly the train departed.
Harry chuckled darkly as he walked to the compartment, the train leaving behind a very shocked group of Order members.
*******************
Ha! Cliffhanger! I think I did ok, considering it was my first attempt at a HP fic. Should I keep at it??? R/R pwease!
Parings: Draco and Harry!!*sizzle* and of course the usual and painfully obvious couplings.....*cough* 'Mione and Ron *cough* ^_^
Ratings: R... this fic will be exceptionally angsty and dramatic. I am a hopeless romantic so there will be love scenes^^! But alas, I will try to break poor Harry and co with all sorts of evil things running through my head!
Disclaimer: I do not own them and if I did well _ err... nevermind. No the goddess JKR owns the wonderful world of HP I am just a fan-girl toying with slightly OOC versions. But I will try to keep them as close as I can get to the originals.
A/N: I am currently working on this and How Can I Say... I love you?...so sorry if I take a bit to update at first. I am planning to make this a loooonnngggg fic! So if you want some one-shot action sorry! All reviews are welcome!
***********
"Oh what, may man within him hide though angel on the outward side."
William Shakespeare
***
This is who I am....... See the real me
***
The summer ended faster than any other had, if that was possible. The Dursleys had even been a little - err- nicer to him. He expected the slight change in behavior might have occurred because he had saved his cousin's arse the year before. Yep, stopping a dementor from sucking out Dudley's soul had its rewards.
If you considered being ignored completely a reward.
Harry was no stranger to being ignored, but it had never been like this. Usually when people played Lets-All-Ignore-Harry, they would still mutter snide remarks at or about him, unfortunately Harry did not think that his relatives would respond if he jumped up and down wearing dress.
He wrote to the members of the Order about twice a week- as he had been instructed, Ron and Hermione as well. It was even more frustrating than the last year. Last year he had dealt with the constant agony of waiting for Voldemort to do something drastic which would alert everyone to his presence.
Now that everyone already knew Voldemort was alive, Harry suffered the agony of waiting for Dumbledore to call upon him into battle for the wizarding world.
After all, he was just the tool. He was the weapon against the Dark Lord. He knew it - everyone else bloody knew it.
The-Boy-Who-Lived was the friggin Slave-Of-The-Light-Side.
He would be used when the Order felt he was ready. Like a good little slave, he would be used.
Such a pity if he died, a poor martyr for the Light.
But if he failed it would be Harry Potter, weak and the curse of all wizards, He-Who-Died or even better He-Who-Led-To-The-Defeat-Of-The-Light.
Harry felt chained to this fate, this destiny that never let him live in peace. He had to act the part of the "Golden Boy." He had to save everyone.
Harry stood in front of the bathroom mirror and gazed with some surprise at his appearance. He had changed dramatically. Or rather, he had just now noticed how much he had matured.
Harry was a bit taller now, though not nearly as tall as Ron was. His body was toned and he had muscle carved curves thanks to years of Quiddich practice. His skin was a healthy white that contrasted nicely with his always-unruly black hair. His eyes were bright and sparkling green and noticeable even from behind his glasses.
And of course, there was his scar.
Harry hated and loved his scar.
It was a part of him that he always wanted to keep, a sort of reminder of how much his parents had loved him, how they had died protecting him.
Yet, he loathed the fact that everyone knew him by it. People he had never met judged him strait away because of the scar. And whether he was adored or hated depended on the person view on the war.
Harry sighed. Now it was time to go to the Weasleys.
He sighed again; they had invited him to go to Grimmauld Place, but he could not- not after Sirius death.
Harry felt all to familiar feelings rush through him. Overwhelming grief and fury. Fury that had increased just as the guilty sorrow had taunted him. There was a stinging in his eyes.
NO! I will NOT start that!
I will NOT cry.
I am not weak.
I am strong.
I am- soo going to be late!
Harry rushed back into his untidy room and finished sweeping his things into his trunk. Just like last year, numerous Order members would flank Harry during his escape from the muggle world.
He had not actually seen anyone since the last day of school, and was a little surprised that he did not really care.
Dumbledore had stashed him away with his filthy muggle "family" and Harry silently seethed with the injustice of it all. Just like Sirius, he though with a sharp tug of pain that was hastily pushed aside.
Harry's green eyes looked impatiently out at the silent moon hanging in the sky as a nagging reminder of the late hour.
Where were they?
Harry's mind wandered aimlessly. His scar had not really been bothering him, though the constant buzz let him know that Voldemort was still active. And surprisingly enough, Harry had not had any important or informative dreams.
Well, not dreams that others would call important.
After all, he had always dreamed of the murder of his parents and now his godfather. Not to mention the death of Cedric and the horror of being possessed by a raving lunatic, the same bastard who had killed his parents.
Strange how everyone had died because of him. The Hero. His parents to protect him, Sirius because of his foolishness at being so easily manipulated and Cedric had only taken hold of the cup because he had persuaded the Hufflepuff boy to do so.
Ah well, he was the weapon. Kill or be killed was the new rule to live by.
But- but he did not think that he would keep up his Golden act any longer.
Not that breaking school rules practically ever day was "golden." It was just that Harry was tired of playing the martyr, the naive little savior.
He was proud of the good-boy facade it had fooled everyone. Even Dumbledore had been convinced that he was just content to be Harry-The-Savior. The old man's eyes showed too much.
It would actually be fun watching their faces as he mocked them in their time of distress. Watch as they slowly began to feel some of the pain he felt- some of the disillusionment.
Harry was not going to turn evil or anything. He just wanted to do the things that he had secretly wanted to do, to feel. Dumbledore's Golden Boy felt like rebelling, felt like letting his Slytherin side shine a bit more brightly.
That was something that Harry had admitted to no one. The fact that he had accepted the Slytherin inside of him. At first Harry had been disgusted at the thought of sharing similar traits with Voldemort. But he had realized that his parents gave their lives to protect him, and Voldemort giving Harry some of his power was just fate.
Besides what he could not change, he might as well enjoy.
Maybe Malfoy would reconsider having Harry as a friend.
Ok, maybe more of a new partner in crime.
Malfoy....
Harry smiled and his eyes glinted with malicious pleasure.
He did not really hate the Slytherin though everyone thought so. The proud "Prince of Darkness" as many called him, was someone Harry looked forward to greeting this year.
The intense sparring- the war that had existed between Harry and Malfoy was something that he had always reveled in. Something that had been constant, something that had helped keep him sane when he needed to vent his emotions.
In fact, Harry valued Malfoy's hatred more than any friendship he had. In truth, Malfoy had always hated him and had never wavered.
Harry smirked in disgust.
Ron and Hermione had doubted him before, even if they had come back to him in full force. They- like the headmaster- had kept their feelings from him, had excluded him in order to "protect" him.
After all, he was the weapon.
Malfoy had not lied on what he thought; rather he had made that quite clear.
Harry's smirk turned into a wide smile.
Yes, he would have fun this year looking at things from the other side.
The raven-haired boy chuckled softly as the Slytherin in him reared its head in joyous celebration.
~ ~ ~*~ ~ ~
After another mind wandering hour Harry smiled at the opening of the front door and nearly inaudible entrance of his "protectors."
A loud clang made him smirk - Tonks was here. Harry crept out of his room and climbed halfway down the stairs, wand clutched firmly. No need to take foolish risks.
Harry was strongly reminded of the summer before when he saw the four silhouettes standing in front of the front door. They were unaware of his presence in the shadows and Harry listened to their quiet conversation.
"Really Nymph- err- Tonks do try to be more careful."
"Sorry Arthur it was an accident."
"Kingsley could you help me with these blasted brooms?"
"Certainly, Remus maybe you should go and wake Harry."
"Yes, I don't suppose he will be to happy with us."
"What do ya mean Arthur? Harry has always been nice to me. Kingsley - the brooms?"
"Well, Nymph Dumbledore hasn't told him anything that's been going on. I understand why, but Harry won't"
"What do you mean?"
"Arthur Dumbledore can't tell Harry anything without seeing him first. I mean what if You-Know-Who is still getting inside of his head?"
"He never did finish the Occulmency lessons did he?"
"No."
"You can't blame the kid. Look at the slimy git of a teacher he had."
"Tonks! Mind your tongue. Come on now we best wake Harry"
Harry, leaning against the wall enveloped in shadows, had listened with interest.
When Lupin stepped upon the fist stair Harry spoke calmly yet coldly.
"You're late."
The response was instant; wands were pointed in his direction and lit. Harry smirked at Tonks shocked gasp. She stammered slightly.
"Harry were you there the whole time?"
He rolled his eyes at that and laughed softly.
"Of course. How could I not with the racket you never fail at producing?"
Tonks blushed and the others snorted in agreement. In the wand light Harry could make out the faces of Remus Lupin, Arthur Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt and of course Tonks.
Lupin amused smile faded and he frowned a little.
"Did you - did you hear everything Harry?"
"Yes Professor, but it wasn't new to me. I had figured out almost everything by myself."
"Oh- well Dumbledore was going to speak to you about it. Ok then, lets go get your things Harry."
Harry nodded in agreement but turned away before he could place his hand on Harry's shoulder in greeting. Harry walked up the stairs and brought out his trunk, then they made their way to the Burrow.
~ ~ ~*~ ~ ~
Harry's last week of summer break was spent in the warm comforts of the Burrow. He knew that the others noticed a slight change in him, but he was careful not to show too much.
Hermione arrived three days before the end of the break and Harry kept his secret even more so. She was one of the only ones who might see the change in him and realize what it meant. But luckily for Harry, Hermione was kept entertained by Ginny and Ron and only asked if he was feeling ok. One mention of his still painful feelings for Sirius was enough to make her shut up though.
When listing the things he needed from Diagon Alley Harry made sure to suck up and ask if Mrs. Weasley would select his clothing in darker colors. Gratefully enough she had done a splendid job, writing off the choice of clothing as a "boy" thing.
He had nearly purred his approval as he unwrapped the parcels. Everything was black, gray or deep emerald. And it all looked expensive. There was silk and cotton abound and Harry smirked while his eyes nearly gleamed in pleasure.
"Looks like someone had fun shopping."
Members of the Order arrived the day that they were to be off, and Harry did not hide his annoyance well.
People kept beaming at him and hugged him non-stop. Finally, after some seething glares from the ruffled boy, an awkward silence hung over the group as they stepped onto the Platform.
After they had shoved their trunks into one of the last compartments and said their goodbyes, Lupin caught Harry's wrist as he turned to climb aboard.
"Harry are you sure you are all right? You have been acting strange lately."
The train whistle blew. Harry turned to leave again, pulling away from the concerned man.
"Harry! What is wrong? Please tell me. Is it- is it about Sirius?"
Lupin put his hand on Harry's shoulder comfortingly but Harry jerked away furious.
"Don't touch me- wolf!"
Harry near-shouted. The other Order members turned to where they stood, and Mrs. Weasley stepped forward. Harry smirked at the look of shock mirrored by the adults. Even Mad-Eye Moody looked put off, both eyes resting on him.
The whistle blew again.
"I don't need your petty concerns, ok? Spare me the tears. I'm not upset about Sirius. The fool is dead. Now as much as I enjoyed your simpering company, my train is leaving."
The hurt in their eyes felt so good. Let them cry let them feel it. Harry laughed coldly, turned and climbed aboard the train. Instantly the train departed.
Harry chuckled darkly as he walked to the compartment, the train leaving behind a very shocked group of Order members.
*******************
Ha! Cliffhanger! I think I did ok, considering it was my first attempt at a HP fic. Should I keep at it??? R/R pwease!