Disclaimer: All characters originally appearing in Neon Genesis Evangelion and Girlfriend of Steel contained in this fiction are copyright GAiNAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment and are used without permission. You have my permission to post this work, unmodified, on your own site provided you ask me first.

Promises

Chapter Two

The cawing of birds coming home to roost and the shrill chirping of cicadas filled the air as three children made their way through the city on their way back from NERV headquarters. Two of them held hands as they strolled down the sidewalk while a third, sporting a head of azure hair, walked beside them. Asuka was nowhere to be seen; she had gone ahead, saying that she and Hikari were meeting to go to the movies.

"It doesn't look like Asuka likes us being together," Mana commented as the three pilots walked down the street to Rei's apartment.

"Don't mind her." Shinji said. "She's under a lot of stress with all the testing and experiments she's been going through lately." He noticed Rei looking sidelong at him, her face unreadable as always. "What do you think, Ayanami?"

Rei was silent for a minute, then finally answered Shinji's question. "I find the fact that the two of you have a relationship..." She paused, perhaps a little too long. "...Encouraging."

Mana looked at Rei thoughtfully. "There's something more, right?"

Rei closed her crimson eyes and nodded. "She is concerned about your performance on the field. Your feelings for each other complicate things."

Shinji frowned, puzzled. "Is that so bad?"

"Your responsibilities to Commander Ikari and to NERV are more important."

Shinji stared at her incredulously for a moment, then shook his head. "That's cold, Ayanami."

"Yet it is the truth."

The expression on Mana's face matched the twilight's gathering gloom. She walked quietly for a while, lost in thought, before she turned to the First Child. "Ayanami?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"What was your first activation test like?"

Rei stopped abruptly, then turned to face the brunette. "You wish to know?"

"A-Ayanami," Shinji stuttered, "I don't think-"

Mana silenced him with an emphatic shake of her head. "No, Shinji, I want to. I need to know just what might be in store for me."

Shinji looked at her determined gray eyes for a moment, then sighed and nodded reluctantly.

"Very well." Rei turned and kept walking; Mana walked briskly for a few steps to catch up. "During my activation test, Unit 00 rejected me and went berserk."

"What happened?"

"My entry plug ejected inside the test chamber."

"Inside?" Mana repeated weakly.

Rei nodded. " I suffered serious injuries and spent nearly a month recovering in the hospital."

"That's horrible..." Mana paused, thinking. "Could... that happen to me tomorrow?"

The First Child looked at her with ruby eyes. "It is possible..."

Mana blanched.

"...but I don't think so. Doctor Akagi and Major Katsuragi are professionals, and they care about you." A painful expression flashed across Rei's eyes for an instant. "You cannot be replaced."

The trio walked in silence until they reached a dilapidated high-rise apartment building across the street from a construction site. Rei walked to the graffiti-covered door and fished a key out of her pocket.

"Good night, Ayanami," Mana called, smiling warmly. "And thanks. I'm looking forward to working with you."

Rei turned back to her fellow pilots. Her eyes softened for a second. "Good night, Kirishima, Ikari," she said as she nodded to each of her companions in turn. She unlocked the door and slipped inside without another word.

* * *

The sun was a faint purple smudge on the horizon by the time the two pilots made their way to the station. Mana had been quiet the entire walk there; her expression was unreadable as she sat on the bench. Shinji sat down beside her and watched her delicate face, concerned.

"Hey," he said, nudging her shoulder, "what's the matter?"

Mana looked at the Third Child and gave him a weak smile.

"It's funny," she said. "All this time I was jealous of you and the others, because you could go and fight the Angels and make a difference to Mankind. I was so frustrated that I couldn't really help." She looked at her hands, folded together in her lap. "I was so excited when I got the news about being chosen as a pilot."

"I remember," Shinji said.

"But now... after Rei told me what happened during her activation test..." Mana closed her eyes and buried her face in Shinji's shirt. Awkwardly, he held her close and stroked her feathery brown hair. He felt the warmth of her body and her beating heart as their bodies pressed together.

"I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I even want to." Mana shuddered. "I... I'm so scared, Shinji..." she choked; her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper.

"Shh... it's okay." Shinji gently rocked her from side to side and tried to comfort her. Tears sprang to Mana's eyes and were quickly absorbed by Shinji's white cotton shirt as her body shook with wracking sobs. He quietly held her close until his shirt was soaked and her cries slowed to become soft, ragged gasps.

"You know something?" Shinji asked softly as he wiped a tear from Mana's cheek. "I was scared the first time I piloted my Eva too." He closed his eyes and tried to shut away the memories of the Third Angel's attack that night. "And the worst thing is that the fear never goes away. Some days... sometimes I'm terrified to even set foot in the entry plug."

She sniffled. "But everyone looks up to you. You're so... so.."

"Brave? Noble? Courageous?" Shinji shook his head sadly. "No. You can't imagine what it's like to be trapped in your entry plug as your lift support system slowly gives out, or to feel the pain as an Angel rips your Eva apart." He gazed into Mana's steel gray eyes. "Asuka makes it sound all exciting and glorious, but piloting an Eva brings you pain and suffering, too."

"Then why do you do it?"

He looked up and stared at a streetlight across the road. "My father abandoned me when I was little, and threw his life into his work. When I arrived here, I was just a tool to him. When I finally heard him praise me after we defeated the Tenth Angel, I realized that that is why I pilot. I want him to be proud of me instead of push me away. I want to matter to someone."

The girl in Shinji's arms gave him a squeeze. "You already do."

Shinji blushed. "M-Mana..."

"Shh." She silenced him with a finger to his lips. "If I'm out there with you, if we face the pain and suffering together, it won't be as bad, will it?"

"I suppose."

The two teens sat together on the cold wooden bench; their soft breathing and the distant whisper of night traffic were the only sounds they heard in the otherwise quiet darkness as they waited for the bus.

"Shinji?" Mana finally whispered in a tiny voice.

"Mm-hmm?"

"Will you look out for me out there?"

Shinji blinked in puzzlement. "Of course I'll look out for you. We all will."

"Promise?" She looked up at his face. The light from the streetlamps above gleamed in her eyes, turning them into liquid silver.

"Yes, I promise."

The brunette smiled sweetly as her body relaxed in his arms. She rested her head against Shinji's shoulder. Almost without thinking, he bent down and gently kissed her forehead.

Mana's eyes widened. She looked up at the Third Child, then closed her eyes as her body seemed to melt against his in response. Shinji, almost hypnotized by her pretty face and soft, inviting lips, bent down and nervously brought his mouth closer to hers. She didn't move; encouraged by her apparent willingness, he closed his eyes and slowly drew nearer. When their lips finally met, Shinji trembled so badly that their teeth came together with a sudden, almost painful click. He jerked back in surprise. "Sorry!" he whispered. "I-"

The pilot's apology was rudely interrupted as Mana grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him close, and eagerly kissed him.

* * *

The central command vehicle was a beehive of activity. Technicians scurried everywhere, monitoring a myriad of graphs, monitors, and printouts. Misato, on the other hand, kept her attention focused on a screen showing a young woman wearing a dark blue plug suit. "How are you doing in there, Mana?" she asked the pilot.

The Fourth Child's image looked back at her. "Just fine, Misato." She made a disgusted face. "But I still can't stand the taste of this stuff."

"We'll have Research come up with a bubble gum flavor for you."

Mana smiled. "Thanks, but I prefer cherry."

"I'll see what I can do. Now relax and we'll get started on this test."

The girl nodded and closed her eyes.

Ritsuko glanced at a monitor, scribbled on her clipboard, and gave a satisfied nod. "Well, that got her calmed down a little. Thanks."

"Don't mention it. I just don't want another mishap."

The blonde scientist nodded in agreement before turning to the other people seated at their consoles. "Shift the operation to phase two," she ordered.

The technicians around her sprang into action. The two women watched the monitors as row after row of nerve connection indicators switched from red to green.

"We're now exceeding the absolute border..." said an anxious voice that was barely audible over the comm chatter. Misato worriedly watched Mana's face while Ritsuko continued to keep her eye on the status board. The final bank of indicators flickered, then turned green.

Unit 03's eyes shone with a hellish crimson light. The lights in the control center glowed a similar color as alerts flashed on the screens and sirens blared. The Fourth Child's image on the monitor winked out.

"Mana!!" Misato cried.

"Abort the test!" shouted Ritsuko. "Break the circuit!"

Evangelion Unit 03 let out a terrifying roar. Seconds later, Matsushiro disappeared in a storm of fire and destruction.

* * *

Shinji squinted as Unit 01 stood at the ready at its designated intercept point. The glare of the setting sun was blinding even through the polarized filters of the viewscreen's external cameras.

"An accident at Matsushiro?" he asked in disbelief. "What happened to Mana and Misato?"

"Contact hasn't been restored yet," said Rei.

"But what will we do, then?"

"Stop whining!" Asuka snapped. "There's nothing we can do right now!"

"But how can we fight the Angel by ourselves?"

"Commander Ikari will take command now," Rei calmly replied.

"My father...?"

Shigeru Aoba's voice cut through the pilots' chatter. "Target is approaching," he announced tersely. "All units prepare for ground combat."

Shinji peered into the orange disk sinking against the horizon. In the middle of it, he could barely make out an immense, ungainly figure that slowly grew as it approached. The Third Child increased the magnification on his viewscreen and gaped at the image that filled the display.

"What...?" he gasped as he saw the imposing humanoid figure silhouetted ominously against the sunset. "This is an Angel?"

"Correct," said Gendo's stony voice. "This is the target."

The target in question disappeared behind a hill. "But..." Shinji said softly, "it's an Eva... Unit 03..."

Mana's smiling, gray eyes appeared to him as he stared at the screen. His shaking hands tightened around Unit 01's controls.

She's not in there... she can't be in there...

* * *

What am I still doing in here? What's going on?

Mana nervously hummed to herself as she sat in the control seat. Ever since the activation test had been aborted, the pitch-blackness of the entry plug had smothered her in its dark embrace. Her hair lazily swirled in the LCL as the Eva moved around her. She heard frantic voices through the comm, but if she was able to transmit, no one heard her.

She heard a loud bang from under the entry plug. The plug shuddered briefly, then all was quiet again.

"Misato?" she called for the hundredth time. "Doctor Akagi? Anyone?"

Suddenly, she heard Shinji's hushed question, followed by Gendo's curt reply. Her blood ran cold as she realized what was happening.

My Eva's possessed? I'm inside an Angel?

Icy tendrils of fear gripped Mana as she sat, trembling, in the Eva's control seat. She felt a sickening jolt in the pit of her stomach; somehow, the Eva Unit beneath her had jumped.

She heard Rei's shocked gasp, followed immediately by a loud crash and a strangled cry. Her Eva lurched beneath her.

"Ayanami!" shouted Shinji's voice.

Whimpers of pain and a short, shrill scream came from Unit 00's feed. Static filled the speakers, then abruptly stopped as the link went dead.

Mana felt a chill crawl up her spine. The Fourth Child's hands tightly gripped the controls. Her heart raced; she felt sick to her stomach. As her fingers squeezed the triggers, one thought ran through her mind, keeping her from flying into a complete panic.

Shinji will keep me safe. I know he will. He promised.

* * *

Shinji grimly set Unit 01's pallet rifle to full automatic. He kept the crosshairs centered on Unit 03's hulking form as it relentlessly advanced on his position; the ominous crash of its footsteps pounded out a slow, steady rhythm. It moved deliberately, almost leisurely, giving Shinji plenty of time to prepare.

And too much time to think.

What if she's in there?

His fingers trembled as they rested on the firing switch.

I promised I'd keep her safe. I can't hurt her. But if I don't stop the Angel...

His father's voice brought Shinji's mind back to the task at hand. "Unit 01, the target is approaching; it will reach you in twenty. We're sending in Unit 02 as backup..."

* * *

Asuka's Eva raced toward the intercept point. Through the monitor, she saw Unit 03 slowly close the gap between the two behemoths. She noticed that Unit 01 held its rifle at the ready, yet held its fire as the Angel approached.

Damn it... hold on, Shinji! The cavalry's coming! It's my turn to save you this time!

A grin spread across Asuka's face as Unit 02 sprinted through the quiet city streets.

Then you can forget about her...

The crimson Eva vaulted over a set of power lines and kept running.

* * *

The Angel launched itself into the air and planted a crushing dropkick squarely on Unit 01's chest; the impact crushed the pallet rifle cradled in the Eva's arms. Both titans went flying; Unit 01 crashed to the street a block away, while Unit 03 landed on its feet in a nearby field.

Shinji stared at the magnified image of his opponent on his viewscreen. Between two armor plates, held in place by a sticky mass of some sort of web-like substance, he could see the unmistakeable white form of...

"An entry plug..."

Shinji's mind went numb as he realized there was indeed a pilot onboard--and who it was.

The midnight blue Eva picked itself up and reached out to Unit 01 with impossibly long arms to grasp the purple giant around its neck. The young pilot gasped for breath as he felt his throat constrict in unison with his Eva's. Still, he refused to fight back.

"Shinji!" Gendo's voice came over the comm. "Why don't you fight?"

"Mana's in there, Father!"

"That's irrelevant! It's an Angel! Our enemy!"

"But... But I can't! I have to help her! I can't kill her!"

"If you won't, you'll die!" Gendo snarled.

"I'd rather die!" his son shouted back. "I love her!"

Silence filled the comm channel for a second. Shinji's eyes widened in shock as he realized what he had blurted out. Nearby, one pilot's heart soared upon hearing his words, but could not respond.

Another one's broke.

Asuka gasped and barely resisted the urge to cry out over the comm; her knuckles turned white under the material of her plug suit as her suddenly trembling hands squeezed her controls. Spite and jealousy became shock and despair in a heartbeat. She let out a long, shuddering breath and blinked back the tears that came to her eyes.

Fine, idiot. If that's the way you want it...

Her lips curled into a determined, menacing grimace as Unit 02 rapidly closed the last few kilometers between them.

Gendo's breath caught in his throat as his son's words hit him. In his mind's eye, he saw memories of Yui climbing into Unit 01 just before her final experiment; her form-fitting white suit clung to her body as she looked up at her family and smiled, waving, before the entry plug closed.

NERV's commander closed his eyes at the bittersweet memory and took a breath to calm himself. He had a job to do, a responsibility to Mankind. He had no choice.

"Your personal feelings are irrelevant," he said evenly. "Unit 02, neutralize the target's AT Field and then help Unit 01 neutralize the Angel by whatever means necessary."

"Count on it, sir," Asuka growled.

A shrill whine filled the air as Unit 02 grabbed the hilt of the progressive knife that sprang from its shoulder mount. "Asuka!" Shinji cried. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like, idiot?" she snarled. "I'm following the Commander's orders and saving your life!"

The red Eva ran up behind Unit 03, the knife poised to strike.

"Asuka, no!" cried Shinji.

"Don't worry. I promise I won't hurt your precious girlfriend," she said, venom dripping from her voice.

Unit 02 plunged the glowing blade into the Angel's AT Field; the prog knife sliced effortlessly through the gossamer energy matrix. The golden field flashed for a split-second, then winked out of existence.

In the blink of an eye, one of Unit 03's gorilla-like arms released its grip on Shinji's Eva and swung around, caving in the side of Unit 02's head with a savage backhand blow. The crimson titan's head snapped back; several houses were reduced to rubble as the Eva staggered back and fell with a mighty crash.

Stars exploded across Asuka's vision; excruciating pain filled her head as her Eva slammed into the ground. She heard the roaring of blood in her ears and shook her head in a vain attempt to fight off the blackness rushing up to engulf her. "Okay Shinji... she's all yours now," she mumbled groggily. She squeezed her eyes shut as she realized the double meaning of her words before she lost consciousness.

* * *

The Angel turned its attention back to Shinji. It grasped Unit 01's arms in a vicelike grip, lifted it off the ground, and brutally kicked it in the chest. Shinji screamed as he felt the phantom pain from the impact and from his Eva's shoulders dislocating. Unit 03 kicked again. Unit 01's arms slipped from its grip; the purple and green behemoth flew backward into an apartment building, sending shards of masonry and glass falling to the street below.

The Angel strode toward the fallen Eva; its arms reached out to Unit 01's neck to finish the job it had started.

* * *

"Your son's inaction will doom us all," Fuyutsuki said flatly as the commanders watched the action on the monitors.

Gendo grunted in agreement and stood up. "Cut all synchronization between the pilot and Unit 01!" he barked at the crew below.  Now!"

Maya looked up at her commander. "Cut it?" she repeated in disbelief.

"Correct. Transfer the control circuit to the dummy plug."

"The dummy plug still doesn't function properly. Without Doctor Akagi's approval-"

"It's still better than the pilot." Gendo's eyes were fixed on the Angel's image as it wrapped its hands around Unit 01's neck again. "Do it."

"Yes, sir." She reluctantly turned back to her console and typed the command.

* * *

Shinji took a long, shuddering breath as the squeezing around his throat suddenly disappeared. Puzzled, he looked around the now silent, pitch-black entry plug; panic gripped him for a second as memories of his encounter with the last Angel returned.

The crimson glow of emergency lights suddenly flooded the plug; the sounds of Unit 01 reactivating itself filled his ears.

But I'm not doing anything...

He looked behind him at the panel behind the control seat. Stark lettering lit up on its surface as the noises got louder. He read the label, confused. "What's this...? Operation Dummy System? Rei?"

Anger and confusion coursed through him. "What the hell are you doing, Father?" he shouted.

The display screen flickered back to life. Shinji gasped as he saw his Eva locked in battle with Unit 03; the two titans had their hands locked around each other's throats.

God, please... at least have them turn off Mana's neural connection...

The two combatants strained against each other in the orange glow of the setting sun until the dark Eva's neck assembly splintered with a loud, sickening crack. Unit 01 kept strangling Mana's Eva long after the Angel's body went limp, then viciously threw its vanquished foe's body to the ground.

* * *

"The target has been neutralized, sir."

Gendo sat back down behind his desk with a triumphant smile on his face. "Excellent." He folded his hands across his face again. "Cut synchronization between Unit 01 and the dummy plug system. Retrieve the pilots and stand down from-"

"Sir!" Shigeru reported from the command deck. "There's no response from the dummy plug!"

"What?" Fuyutsuki shouted.

"No!" echoed Gendo.

"The dummy system's refusing the deactivation command!" called Maya. Her fingers flew over her keyboard as she desperately tried to override it. "It's... oh, my God!" she gasped as she looked back up to the main viewscreen.

With a hideous bellow, Unit 01 smashed the defeated Eva's head with its fist, splattering blood-like fluid against the buildings nearby.

"Father, no!" Shinji's voice screamed over the comm. "Stop doing this now!"

Unit 01 continued its merciless assault as the technicians in the control center looked on in horror. The Eva ripped one of Unit 03's arms off and threw it into the nearby river, turning the water crimson. The other arm flew through the air and crashed against an office tower.

"Stop it!" Shinji cried from the entry plug.

The Third Child frantically yanked at the control switches on his console, trying to force the Eva to stop.

Gendo's eyes closed sadly, hidden by his tinted glasses.

"Stop it!!"

Shinji's Eva tore savagely at Unit 03's bindings and pounded unmercifully at the titanic body with both fists. Red ichor flooded the streets and dripped from the power lines and light standards overhead.

"Stop it!!"

Maya covered her face with her hands, trying to shut out the ghastly scene playing on the monitors above. Shinji, meanwhile, couldn't tear his eyes away from it.

"Stop it!!"

Shinji watched, aghast, as his Eva yanked the entry plug from Unit 03's body and began to squeeze. He hysterically pulled at the control switches and pounded his fist on the console.

"STOP IT!!!"

The plug buckled, then shattered in Unit 01's hand.

"NO!!!"

Shinji's horrified scream echoed through the control center.

Unit 01 froze in place as the dummy plug, its objective accomplished, finally shut down. The torrent of LCL that ran down its arm from the shattered entry plug slowed to a trickle, then stopped. Slowly, the two halves of the plug split apart and fell from Unit 01's lifeless fingers to the pavement below.

"E-Evangelion Unit 03 is... no, I mean the target... is completely silent..." reported Shigeru in a hushed voice.

* * *

Shinji sprinted through the wreckage on the ruined street toward the remnants of Mana's entry plug. LCL and Unit 03's blood-like fluids mixed together to form a slippery, viscous layer on the ground. He slipped and fell against a jagged piece of metal, opening a long, bleeding gash on his shin; he never felt the pain as he picked himself up and kept running.

He finally found her slumped in the ruins of her command console. Her brown hair, tinted almost black by the LCL dripping from the twisted wreckage, was matted to her head. Long rips in her blue plug suit revealed deep, bleeding wounds on her savaged body. Her left arm lay twisted at a grotesque angle. The LCL around her was stained a deep orange by her blood.

Shinji stared at her, bile rising in his throat.

Please, let her still be alive... that's all I ask...

Shinji knelt beside her, wishing desperately to hold her and yet knowing enough to leave her alone to avoid aggravating her injuries. Hesitantly, he reached out to Mana's neck for a pulse.

His heart leapt as she moaned softly and opened her eyes. Mana looked around, dazed, until she saw him kneeling next to her. Her vision focused on his tear-streaked face. Blue eyes met gray again.

The faint whisper of helicopter rotors from above grew louder.

"Shinji..." her voice was little more than a whisper. "Shinji... why...?"

"Mana..." the tears flowed down his cheeks to mix with the puddles of LCL on the ground. " I... I'm sorry, Mana. I tried. Really, I tried. My father forced me to... I begged him, but-"

The Fourth Child reached for Shinji's hand and grasped it; she looked into his eyes and interrupted him with a weak smile and a feeble shake of her head. "Shinji... I've got so much to tell you..." She winced as pain wracked her body. "I... want to be together with you when this is all over." Her gaze softened. "Will... will you wait for me until then?"

"But... I- you-"

"Promise me?"

"But I couldn't keep-"

"Please?" she whispered. Her eyes pleaded with him.

A VTOL hovered above the two pilots and slowly settled onto the broken pavement. Shinji's answer was drowned out by the whine of the craft's engines; a medevac crew jumped out and hurried over to them. He watched helplessly while they strapped Mana onto a spine board and attached IV tubes and an oxygen mask to her. The teens' eyes never left each other until she was loaded aboard the transport.

The backdraft from the craft's rotors blew Shinji's LCL-soaked hair away from his face as it took off; the Third Child watched as it flew off toward the city center and the waiting hospital, finally disappearing behind a cluster of gleaming skyscrapers.

Shinji numbly gazed after the aircraft long after it had gone. He sank to the ground in a daze and drew his knees up to his chest. The tears flowed freely down his cheeks as he remembered the promise he made to Mana the night before.

"Of course I'll look out for you..."

But I didn't. I couldn't. God knows I tried.

He shuddered as he saw Unit 01's hand crush the entry plug again in his mind's eye.

If it wasn't for the Angel... or my father...

The Third Child didn't hear the footsteps until they were right behind him. Surprised, he sprang to his feet and spun around.

Asuka met his gaze as she stared, horrified, at him. She fidgeted uncomfortably and looked at the carnage around her.

"Shinji..." she said in a hushed voice, "I-"

All the hatred, guilt, and pain burning inside of the young pilot of Unit 01 combined into a white-hot fury that blasted away any traces of anxiety and uncertainty within him. He focused that rage on the only person he could.

"How could you have done this to her?" Shinji screamed at her.

"You don't understand, Shinji!"

"I know my father could be this heartless, but you!?"

Asuka was shocked at Shinji's accusation. "What!? Do you know what would have happened if that Angel reached-"

"Don't take the high road with me! You had as big a role in this as everyone else! If you hate Mana that much-"

"How dare you!!" Furious, the redhead slapped Shinji across the face. The boy didn't flinch, but gritted his teeth and returned her gaze with a smouldering one of his own.

"How can you be so stupid?!" she yelled. "You just don't get it, do you? Mana had nothing to do with it! I was following your father's orders! I did it to save Mankind! I did it for NERV! For everyone!"

Shinji ignored her and quietly walked away, not bothering to rub his cheek where she had hit him.

"I did it to save your worthless hide, you idiot..." Her voice trailed off as Shinji kept going.

How can you be so angry with me after I just saved your life, you... you...

Asuka's hands balled into a pair of shaking fists at her sides. She bit her trembling lower lip as she watched him go.

"I did it for you..." she whispered.

Despite the promise she made to herself so many years ago, she didn't bother to try stopping the tears as they left gleaming trails down her face.

* * *

The bright afternoon sun shone down upon a young man standing on a vast, flat plain. His head was bowed as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He wasn't, of course; the weight in his own heart was much, much heavier.

Around him, rows of grave markers stretched across the otherwise featureless landscape as far as the eye could see. The vast majority of them were dated from the few years just after Second Impact, but a growing number were more recent additions to the macabre collection. The simple one that stood before him now was unadorned, save for a name and two dates.

"Mana," he said shakily to the stone, "I... I'm..." The Third Child cleared his throat and chuckled nervously. "Who am I kidding? Sorry doesn't begin to describe it. I... I don't know how you can forgive me." He looked down at his feet and sighed. "I let you down, I know. If I was willing to fight, to try and stop the Angel, you... we..." Shinji shook his head to try to clear his mind of the maddening guilt. "I made a promise to keep you safe, and I couldn't save you. I was right there, and I couldn't do a damn thing..."

Shinji drew a deep, shuddering breath. He had no tears left for the pixyish, spirited girl he had met a few short months ago; he had cried his heart out for her for days after Misato sadly broke the news to him.

He shook his head. "You don't deserve me. No one does. Not you, or Misato, or Asuka, or even Ayanami." His body trembled while his hand clenched slowly, rhythmically. He paused and took another breath to steady himself.

"I resigned from NERV yesterday," he added. "I just can't bring myself to be a pilot anymore, not after what happened. How can they expect me to protect Mankind when I couldn't even keep you safe?"

Shinji glanced behind him at the blue sports car waiting for him several yards away. "Misato's dropping me off at the station after I say goodbye." He turned back at the gray stone again. "I promise I'll come and visit as often as I can, okay?" He gently rested his hand on top of the marker and smiled as he recalled her shimmering gray eyes and the lingering kiss they shared at the bus stop.

He thought back to the last promise he made to her as her broken body lay in the remains of Unit 03's entry plug; his smile disappeared. "I- I'm sorry, Mana... I can't promise you more than that."

Shinji knelt down and wistfully trailed his fingers over her name, tracing the bold lettering engraved in the rough granite.

"Goodbye," he whispered. "I... love you..."

A light breeze caressed his face as if in response to his farewell. He closed his eyes and smiled at its touch. The faint wind brought with it the warmth of the summer sun and the unmistakeable aroma of pine trees. Shinji stayed like that for a second, lost in the sensation, until he suddenly realized something and looked around.

There were no pines around for miles.

The young man stood there for a while longer until he heard footsteps approach from behind him. He felt a gentle, warm hand on his shoulder.

"Shinji..." Misato said softly, "Are you okay?"

The former pilot of Unit 01 looked up at her concerned face and smiled sadly. "I... guess so."

"You sure? I can reschedule your departure if you feel you need more time." She reached into her jacket to grab her cell phone.

Shinji shook his head, and then turned away from the marker. "No, that's okay. I think she understands." He turned his head back and cast one last, lingering look at Mana's grave.

The indigo-haired woman nodded solemnly as the two of them walked quietly back to the car together.

"Misato," the Third Child asked his former guardian as he pulled on his seatbelt, "can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, Shinji. Anything."

Shinji's gaze never left the dashboard. "I've been thinking. I was unfair to Asuka after the battle, but she's been avoiding me ever since. I don't blame her, but..." He looked at her. "I understand what she did, now. Can you say goodbye to her for me and... and  apologize to her?"

"Of course." Misato gave the young man a sympathetic smile. "But I think she already understands. Just give her time."

"You think so?"

Misato nodded. "Time heals all wounds, they say. Even ones as deep as yours." She started the car and drove back toward the highway as Shinji looked at her dubiously.

* * *

A gaunt, middle-aged man knelt in front of the Fourth Child's grave, holding a single white chrysanthemum in his gloved hands. His long black jacket stirred in the evening breeze as he looked at the ground through amber-tinted glasses.

"Fate is a cruel master, isn't it?" the man sadly said in a baritone voice. "Your death was unforeseen in both the Scrolls and the Scenario. If Bardiel hadn't made its appearance, if the dummy system hadn't malfunctioned, you would still be with us. " He stared at the marker's rough stone surface.

"It was unfortunate, but I was left with no other choice. You understand that now, don't you?"

He stopped, as if listening to a silent response. "Yes, of course you do," he finally said. "I can imagine how death changes one's point of view."

"You were a good person, from what Major Katsuragi has told me. And you did something I had never done--for a brief time, you brought joy into my son's life."

Gendo Ikari paused, thinking.

"It would have been pleasant to have met you in person, Pilot Kirishima..."

For a brief instant, Gendo wondered how events could have unfolded had the circumstances been different. A myriad of possibilities passed through his mind in a blink of an eye.

"Grandchildren?" he murmured faintly to himself. A familiar, cold expression immediately replaced the ghost of a smile that crossed his lips at the thought. His cobalt eyes hardened with determination behind the tinted lenses of his glasses. He gently placed the white flower on the ground in front of the Fourth Child's grave.

"I have my work cut out for me, then," NERV's commander said to himself. He stood up, calmly placed his hands inside the pockets of his jacket, and walked back to the aircraft waiting for him. "Now I must reunite two pairs of lovers."

Memories of Yui's caring face came to him; this time, she was joined by the image of a smiling teenaged girl with short, feathery brown hair and steel-gray eyes. A faint, determined smile crept to his face.

Gendo gazed at Mana's grave as the aircraft lifted off into the cool evening sky. "We will all be together soon, Miss Kirishima," he said, "for both our sakes... and for Shinji's."

"I promise."

The transport began its lonely flight back to headquarters.

-- FIN --

* * *

A/N: Well, there you have it: my first attempt at a dark romance (or a romance in general, for that matter). Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoyed it.

In case you were wondering, yes, the ending was originally written this way. The idea for Mana being the Fourth Child came from a picture I saw on an image board out there somewhere, with Mana in a plug suit and Unit 03 in the background. I then remembered what happened to Touji in the series, and everything came together slowly. Waaay too slowly.

Yes, Gendo got a shred of humanity. Not much, mind you, but enough to add a little more emotion to the story. I figured that he would use Shinji's relationship with Mana as another reason to justify starting Third Impact, and the parallels between the two Ikaris and their loved ones were too good to pass up.

Finally, as a side note, I realized as I was writing the graveside scene that it would make a good songfic for 'Komm, Susser Tod', wouldn't you agree? ^_^

Acknowledgements: This fic goes out to Rakna, who once asked why there were few serious fics featuring Mana Kirishima out there. I hope this one fits the bill.

[10-14-2003]