We take a break from our quest of strange language to bring you this amusing interlude: "Zawacky Quote Wars!"
*****
Episode 1: 'Evil Crossdresser or Just Confused?' or 'Something About This Just Seems So Sarcastic'
*****
Cloud: Hi! I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear.
Kuja: What do you want to know? Want to be a winner is you?
Cloud: GRRR-BAH!
Kuja: No? Airhead, huh? Well, never mind.
Tifa: Then shut your pie hole!
Terra: What you say? No rubbish or Terra, head go boom!
Garnet: Who is this fiend?
Tellah: Keep your guard up! This is no ordinary woman! Meet Kuja, the magician!
Kuja: What the... ?! Hey, I'm a guy!
Edgar: But its exterior is that of a female...
Kuja: Male... Female... What's the difference? Power is beautiful, and I've got the power!
Delilah: Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man... Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi? Never assume what you see and feel is real!
Sephiroth: Ever since I started growing out my hair I've been getting a lot of attention... from guys! Yikes!
Nellie: Get a life!!
Cloud: Ouch! A rat bit me!
Blank: I'd rather have my gums scraped than have to fight these fiends.
Nellie: How did you get past my... cadaver pals?
Gilgamesh: Siht daer naht od ot retteb gnihton evah I.
Hilda: Everyone was so flipped out. You've got to blame it on something.
Rinoa: It was like I was there, but not really.
Radio: Clawglip
Zidane: Huh... Radio... What's going on with that radio?
Radio: Well she says the town is being devoured by darkness...
Garnet: Stand gaurd all.
Terra: Sucking Diek! Bzz... Bzz... I'm hungry but I don't like cheese.
Cloud: Of course! Gelagelagela!
Vincent: Chief's been acting odd lately, but he can still tell you about the Robot.
Cid: Goobididibily.
Gilgamesh: We will prepare a wedding while Edgar's gone.
Edgar: WAAAAAH!
Aeris: Uwaaaa!
*****
Episode 2: 'Mmmm... Oil' or 'Gay Weddings... or is it Spankings?'
*****
Nellie: Well, after a man an' a woman are blessed in holy union, they leave oan holy pilgrimage tae the Sanctuary.
Garland: Speerits o' the moontain, Speerits o' the wood...
Edgar: Uh... Now, how did I get into this?
Kuja: I'm such a stud!
Edgar: The Crystal Ball has exploded!
Rinoa: That can be taken as a bad omen, but I wouldn't worry about it. You'll be OK, really!
Aeris: Ever since I returned from the dead, I've felt weak and faint. I wonder if that's normal.
Squall: Die in obscurity!
Cloud: Why is this hole here?
Sephiroth: Night is upon us. How strange.
Delilah: I have a strange craving for nuts, but they don't grow on palm trees.
Sabin: Have some Oil! It's sweet and tastey!
Cloud: Whoompapa... Whoompapa...
Kuja: Why does the world.. and the people resist destruction? Why don't they want to die?
Garnet: Our queen should be put on show here.. she's so fat it's like she's not human.
Gilgamesh: It makes me want to go to the bathroom.
Kuja: This monkey is going to give you a spanking, Shupkay!!
Zidane: Eek eek.
Edgar: My name is Edgar and this is a toilet.
Aeris: Will you jump in the toilet?
Terra: No reply... it's just a scarecrow.
Cloud: Don't kick, punch, bite or hurt the trees!
Kefka: A baby frog is not a frog, not a frog It's a tadpole
Tadpole, tadpole
Baby frog is called a ta-d-pole!
Edgar: Bad end. This is not a true ending! Try again with your friend.
*****
Episode 3: 'Best Insults of All Time' or 'Kefka, the Evil King of the Poachers'
*****
Tellah: I'll find you Lumpy, you can't hide from me.
Garland: Thanks for the pencil, chump.
Squall: Endless in victory of a yourself.
Kefka: You sound like characters in a self-help booklet!
Cloud: Suck a sage.
Garland: WRITHE IN PAIN
Tifa: Dweebinheimer.
Tellah: You spoony bard!
Aeris: ENOUGH FOLLIES!! STOP EVIL DENMARK
Terra: Wow, that ashtray is so fancy you could eat caviar out of it!
Gilgamesh: You smell like bacon and oppression, man!
Cid: SHOWBUISNESS coffee!
Kuja: Hmm... fruity, but voluminous.
Edgar: Orgasmic Castle!
Vincent: It's amazing how a little touch of human remains can touch up a place.
Eiko: Screaaaaam!
Kefka: Tempting as it is, I just can't bring myself to jump in the giant, unclean kitty litter.
Rinoa: LIKE EAGLES... ON... POGO STICKS!!!
Squall: ... Stop using the contained-detonation to crack open walnuts. Thank you.
Terra: Strange, but symbolically compelling...
Zidane: Yeah, well you don't have a tongue but that doesn't seem to shut you up, now does it?
Sabin: YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T WORK HERE!
Tifa: You're going to get it ! Sucker !
Cloud: Oh no. But please, spare my life.
Kuja: You won't get away this.
Tellah: After many bloody battles, I have finally defeated the evil king of the poachers.
Kefka: Oh no ! He got me !
Garland: Get lost, wisp.
Delilah: You are the greatest player!
Cid: To remove the seal for Corridor No.2, touch everywhere.
Nellie: Whoo hoo! I won! Simply deee-licious!
Barret: That guy's maniac!
*****
Episode 4: 'Tellah is Really Einstein Reborn' or 'Maybe it's Actually Kefka, Who Would Then be 'Kefka the Eisteinian Evil King of Poachers Slash Manical Demi-God"'
*****
Aeris: Oh gaaaaaaaaaawd!
Tellah: I am Tellah. Martyr of Might.
Cloud: Good job! The country's in good hands with you!
Tellah: Did you know there for consonants and eight vowels in mimblewimble?
Kefka: Here's my plan. Find an Edgar, hurt its feelings, make it cry, and collect the mucus.
Terra: You did nearly as well as I did on your first try, Kuja. Do that well again and you'll get something sweet.
Kuja: Have a care where you're pointin' that thing! This is my favorite coat.
Tifa: Man has to be active. Come on. Hee-hee-hee.
Rinoa: Howdy, young boys! How's it goin'? Hic...
Nellie: Its name is... You do it.
Sabin: I hate rain. It's depressing. I like it when it pours.
Terra: Get undressed here.
Eiko: I think the precious weather-cock blew away.
Cid: There is a baby bird in her bosom.
Tellah: This is getting hairy... heh.
Garland: I tripped over one of the rocks. I thought I'd fly to the sky.
Edgar: Two of my children hath starved to death, kind wayfarer. Canst thou see fit to help the other seven?
Vincent: I'm Sailor Sam. Dost thou own a sextant?
Garnet: Yes.
Vincent: Then thy life's purpose is fulfilled. Yo, ho, ho...
*****
*****
Possibly the most screwed up thing I've ever written.
*****
Episode 1: 'Evil Crossdresser or Just Confused?' or 'Something About This Just Seems So Sarcastic'
*****
Cloud: Hi! I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear.
Kuja: What do you want to know? Want to be a winner is you?
Cloud: GRRR-BAH!
Kuja: No? Airhead, huh? Well, never mind.
Tifa: Then shut your pie hole!
Terra: What you say? No rubbish or Terra, head go boom!
Garnet: Who is this fiend?
Tellah: Keep your guard up! This is no ordinary woman! Meet Kuja, the magician!
Kuja: What the... ?! Hey, I'm a guy!
Edgar: But its exterior is that of a female...
Kuja: Male... Female... What's the difference? Power is beautiful, and I've got the power!
Delilah: Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man... Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi? Never assume what you see and feel is real!
Sephiroth: Ever since I started growing out my hair I've been getting a lot of attention... from guys! Yikes!
Nellie: Get a life!!
Cloud: Ouch! A rat bit me!
Blank: I'd rather have my gums scraped than have to fight these fiends.
Nellie: How did you get past my... cadaver pals?
Gilgamesh: Siht daer naht od ot retteb gnihton evah I.
Hilda: Everyone was so flipped out. You've got to blame it on something.
Rinoa: It was like I was there, but not really.
Radio: Clawglip
Zidane: Huh... Radio... What's going on with that radio?
Radio: Well she says the town is being devoured by darkness...
Garnet: Stand gaurd all.
Terra: Sucking Diek! Bzz... Bzz... I'm hungry but I don't like cheese.
Cloud: Of course! Gelagelagela!
Vincent: Chief's been acting odd lately, but he can still tell you about the Robot.
Cid: Goobididibily.
Gilgamesh: We will prepare a wedding while Edgar's gone.
Edgar: WAAAAAH!
Aeris: Uwaaaa!
*****
Episode 2: 'Mmmm... Oil' or 'Gay Weddings... or is it Spankings?'
*****
Nellie: Well, after a man an' a woman are blessed in holy union, they leave oan holy pilgrimage tae the Sanctuary.
Garland: Speerits o' the moontain, Speerits o' the wood...
Edgar: Uh... Now, how did I get into this?
Kuja: I'm such a stud!
Edgar: The Crystal Ball has exploded!
Rinoa: That can be taken as a bad omen, but I wouldn't worry about it. You'll be OK, really!
Aeris: Ever since I returned from the dead, I've felt weak and faint. I wonder if that's normal.
Squall: Die in obscurity!
Cloud: Why is this hole here?
Sephiroth: Night is upon us. How strange.
Delilah: I have a strange craving for nuts, but they don't grow on palm trees.
Sabin: Have some Oil! It's sweet and tastey!
Cloud: Whoompapa... Whoompapa...
Kuja: Why does the world.. and the people resist destruction? Why don't they want to die?
Garnet: Our queen should be put on show here.. she's so fat it's like she's not human.
Gilgamesh: It makes me want to go to the bathroom.
Kuja: This monkey is going to give you a spanking, Shupkay!!
Zidane: Eek eek.
Edgar: My name is Edgar and this is a toilet.
Aeris: Will you jump in the toilet?
Terra: No reply... it's just a scarecrow.
Cloud: Don't kick, punch, bite or hurt the trees!
Kefka: A baby frog is not a frog, not a frog It's a tadpole
Tadpole, tadpole
Baby frog is called a ta-d-pole!
Edgar: Bad end. This is not a true ending! Try again with your friend.
*****
Episode 3: 'Best Insults of All Time' or 'Kefka, the Evil King of the Poachers'
*****
Tellah: I'll find you Lumpy, you can't hide from me.
Garland: Thanks for the pencil, chump.
Squall: Endless in victory of a yourself.
Kefka: You sound like characters in a self-help booklet!
Cloud: Suck a sage.
Garland: WRITHE IN PAIN
Tifa: Dweebinheimer.
Tellah: You spoony bard!
Aeris: ENOUGH FOLLIES!! STOP EVIL DENMARK
Terra: Wow, that ashtray is so fancy you could eat caviar out of it!
Gilgamesh: You smell like bacon and oppression, man!
Cid: SHOWBUISNESS coffee!
Kuja: Hmm... fruity, but voluminous.
Edgar: Orgasmic Castle!
Vincent: It's amazing how a little touch of human remains can touch up a place.
Eiko: Screaaaaam!
Kefka: Tempting as it is, I just can't bring myself to jump in the giant, unclean kitty litter.
Rinoa: LIKE EAGLES... ON... POGO STICKS!!!
Squall: ... Stop using the contained-detonation to crack open walnuts. Thank you.
Terra: Strange, but symbolically compelling...
Zidane: Yeah, well you don't have a tongue but that doesn't seem to shut you up, now does it?
Sabin: YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T WORK HERE!
Tifa: You're going to get it ! Sucker !
Cloud: Oh no. But please, spare my life.
Kuja: You won't get away this.
Tellah: After many bloody battles, I have finally defeated the evil king of the poachers.
Kefka: Oh no ! He got me !
Garland: Get lost, wisp.
Delilah: You are the greatest player!
Cid: To remove the seal for Corridor No.2, touch everywhere.
Nellie: Whoo hoo! I won! Simply deee-licious!
Barret: That guy's maniac!
*****
Episode 4: 'Tellah is Really Einstein Reborn' or 'Maybe it's Actually Kefka, Who Would Then be 'Kefka the Eisteinian Evil King of Poachers Slash Manical Demi-God"'
*****
Aeris: Oh gaaaaaaaaaawd!
Tellah: I am Tellah. Martyr of Might.
Cloud: Good job! The country's in good hands with you!
Tellah: Did you know there for consonants and eight vowels in mimblewimble?
Kefka: Here's my plan. Find an Edgar, hurt its feelings, make it cry, and collect the mucus.
Terra: You did nearly as well as I did on your first try, Kuja. Do that well again and you'll get something sweet.
Kuja: Have a care where you're pointin' that thing! This is my favorite coat.
Tifa: Man has to be active. Come on. Hee-hee-hee.
Rinoa: Howdy, young boys! How's it goin'? Hic...
Nellie: Its name is... You do it.
Sabin: I hate rain. It's depressing. I like it when it pours.
Terra: Get undressed here.
Eiko: I think the precious weather-cock blew away.
Cid: There is a baby bird in her bosom.
Tellah: This is getting hairy... heh.
Garland: I tripped over one of the rocks. I thought I'd fly to the sky.
Edgar: Two of my children hath starved to death, kind wayfarer. Canst thou see fit to help the other seven?
Vincent: I'm Sailor Sam. Dost thou own a sextant?
Garnet: Yes.
Vincent: Then thy life's purpose is fulfilled. Yo, ho, ho...
*****
*****
Possibly the most screwed up thing I've ever written.