This is set sometime after season 5, I suppose. The only thing it doesn't work with is the current season's... interesting… developments.

I don't own anything about the characters and situations in JAG. Drat.

A MODEST PROPOSAL

JAG Headquarters

"You free for lunch?"

Sarah Mackenzie looked up from a slurry of paperwork on her desk and blinked. "Free? Are you free? Are any of us truly 'free', Harm? And what is freedom? What does it mean?..." There was a moment's pause when Commander Rabb looked confused, before he looked down with a smile.

"Still chewing on the Tannister case, I take it."

"Chewing, swallowing, digesting..." she waved her hand vaguely without continuing the progression. "Let's just say I'm 'immersed' in it." Her eyes brightened at the exchange and a weary smile touched her lips. "But I've got to eat sometime, I suppose. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, ah..." She frowned prettily as he hesitated, her head tilting to the side as he spoke uncertainly. "I brought some lunch."

"Well, that's peachy for you, but I-"

"No, Mac. I mean," he took a deep breath and his eyes widened, a little embarrassed. "I brought enough lunch for both of us."

She sat back and tossed her pen into the confusion on her desk.

"Well, Harmon Rabb. What made you think of that?"

"It's Thursday."

"Thursday?"

"It's Thursday, there's a full moon tonight…" He gave her a look as she rolled her eyes. "I just thought it would be nice." Grinning, he fiddled with the light switch as he leaned on the wall. "Besides. Shrimp was on sale and I made too much." They shared a laugh and Mac shook her head. "Look," he said with a slightly nervous smile, "if it's not a good time for you, don't worry. I just thought you might -"

"Harm! If you think I'm going to turn down one of your seafood salads -" Her eyes narrowed. "Which dressing?"

"Sun-dried tomato basil vinaigrette."

"Fresh?"

His eyes laughed. "Fresh this morning. Basil right out of the windowbox."

"Mmmm." She looked at her watch. "Here, or your office?"

"Ah, I thought maybe off-base. The park?"

She looked intrigued. "Let's go."

He smiled, a boyish, happy grin. "Great."

Mac couldn't help grinning herself as he carefully closed the car door behind her. There was no doubt in her mind that Harm's mother had raised a gentleman, and she sighed peacefully as he walked around the car, reflecting on their friendship. It was comfortable again. After the marathon they had run with the rest of JAG, they had even taken to running together on Monday mornings. She looked over at him while he settled in and smiled.

It was amazingly good to have her best friend back.

As they drove, putting distance between them and the office, she felt herself relax. "This was a great idea, Harm. Thanks."

"Hey, you haven't even tasted it yet."

She chuckled a laugh. "No, but I didn't realize just how much I needed to get out of the office." She reached over and patted his hand companionably. "Thanks."

"No problem." He flashed her a smile, his eyes bright. "Besides, that judge was making my teeth itch this morning. Did you hear her with that poor bailiff?" Mac nodded and they both laughed, just a little guiltily.

Mac flopped back on the blanket after lunch and made a satisfied noise. "Good work, Navy. You should have entered the culinary competition."

Harm chuckled, his smile glinting in the sun. "Right. I can imagine how happy the Admiral would be if I told him I wanted to take six months off to go to the culinary institute."

"Oh, come on... you could be the poster boy for the Navy's new pilot-lawyer-chef division."

"Right. We'd have to change our motto. Talk about being all that you can be..." He looked at his watch as she laughed, her eyes closed.

"I hate to say it, Mac, but we should get back. I've got to finish getting the Michaels case together. Court tomorrow." She balled up her napkin and threw it at him.

"Spoilsport." Sitting up and stretching, she looked at him more seriously. "How does it look?"

Harm shrugged. "Good, I think. Plenty of witnesses for before and after." He shook his head. "Still pretty sad."

Mac nodded soberly as she stood and folded the plaid picnic blanket. "Really sad. Whatever happens in the case, I hope he can live with it." She looked pensive as she brushed grass off her marine greens, but her eyes brightened abruptly. "Thanks again for lunch, Harm. It was wonderful."

He stared at her back as she headed toward the car. "Anytime, Mac."

Norfolk Enlisted Men's Quarters

Next Day

Commander Harmon Rabb looked up from his sheaf of papers to the officer sitting across from him. My God, they look younger every year. "Not even a letter of reprimand, Lieutenant. You've been cleared completely." Rabb waited for a response, looking back down to stack the files. When none came, he looked again. "Lieutenant Michaels?" The dark-haired young officer was staring down at the table, expressionless. "Look, Lieutenant. Is there something -"

"Thank you, Commander. I appreciate the trouble you went through to help me..." The response, coming late as it did, brought a concerned frown to Rabb's face. The younger man's voice trailed off, as if he had practiced that line and didn't have anything else in him.

"Lieutenant?" The commander waited. He could feel the tension, and hoped that if he just gave him time, Michaels would tell him what was going on. He wished for a moment that Mac was here. She was more intuitive about these things. Women. He almost smiled as he pictured her response to that comment, but at that moment, the young man's shoulders began to shake.

"Lieutenant? Greg? What's going on?"

The sobs wrenched out as Michaels slammed his fists down on the table. "She's still dead."

Harm pushed his chair back, his head tipping to one side. He spoke quietly. "I know, Greg. But it wasn't your fault. The private was sober when you signed out that jeep to him-"

"Who cares?" The lieutenant broke down again, his head in his hands. "I mean, when this happened, I was so worried that it might have been my fault, and now, now it isn't, I know that, I know it isn't, but damn it, sir, she's still dead! She's, she-"

Harm stared for a moment, not knowing what to say. Slowly, realization dawned. He stood and walked to the other side of the table, put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "She was more than just a friend, wasn't she." It wasn't a question, and Harm was sure he had hit something when the shoulder under his firm grasp began to shake again. The commander squatted next to the chair and distractedly dug a handkerchief out of his pocket, handed it over.

Taking it with an embarrassed nod, the young man responded. "No, sir."

Harm's eyebrows raised, the blue in his eyes curious. "No?"

"No. We were just friends. Really good friends. The best. But we could have been more than that."

Harm sighed. Been there. "Greg, no one knows what could have happened. Friends don't always -"

"Oh, it could have, sir, but I - was an idiot. We used to get together all the time, have a couple beers, talk, watch movies, talk more... and do you know what we talked about most?"

Harm shook his head, his eyes wide with concern for the shaken young marine.

"We talked about how hard it was to find someone to get along with. Someone who you could talk with, laugh with, work with... someone who you could respect, who'd respect you. Hell, sir, you wouldn't understand." He wiped his shirtsleeve across his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control himself. "We looked at each other sometimes, just looked, and we both knew we were thinking 'what if'... but we never did anything about it." The young soldier's voice cracked as he laughed at himself harshly. "No, no, that's not true. I never did anything about it. I kept putting it off. She tried to talk about it once or twice, but I joked my way out of it."

Harm stood up again, moved back to his chair. A chorus in his mind was getting louder. Familiar, eh? "Listen, Greg. I can recommend some time off. I'll talk to your commanding officer, and-"

"No, thank you, sir." Harm looked surprised. "I mean, I appreciate the thought, sir, I just think that if I keep working it would be better. Thank you."

"Greg-" He stopped. Everything he thought to say sounded so cliched. Once more he wished Mac was here. Even if she didn't have the words, just having his partner here often helped him find the ones he needed. Have I ever told her that? "I understand. But if you need to talk to someone, or if you want to talk to someone professionally..."

"Sir?" Lieutenant Michaels looked into Harm. Their eyes were almost the identical shade of blue-green. "It's not that I don't think there will ever be anyone else. It's not that. It's just... well. I'm only twenty-three. For the rest of my life, I'll remember how it feels right now, how it feels to never know what could have been."

For a brief moment, the ghost of a smile lit the young man's face. "Judy must be laughing at me. She always said I needed to learn to follow my heart..." the tears filled his eyes again, and he looked down to the table. "We used to talk about how when you're in the military, your life could be on the line anytime. I thought that made a difference somehow. And then she gets hit by a car. A damn car, Commander, crossing the street, as if we were just... as if we were... ordinary... This big scary military excuse I gave myself was a lie, because anyone, anywhere, could be dead tomorrow. Gone. It doesn't matter. And you'll never see them again. And they'll never know, and you'll never know... "

He looked back up to the wide eyes of Harmon Rabb. "I'll live differently now, even if it's in her honor, instead of beside her, but the things I would have made sure of..." Lieutenant Michaels shook his head, resolve growing in his expression. "Can you imagine, Commander? Can you imagine never seeing your best friend again? Ever?"

Harm ignored the first feeling that came to him. A veritable chorus in his head, training from the beginning, told him to avoid identifying emotionally with his client. "I've had friends die, lieutenant. It's not easy."

The younger man almost snorted a laugh. "No, not easy." He shook his head. "It's a hell of a way to learn a lesson, sir. I just-" He stopped, sobbed without a sound. "I just want to hold her again. That's all. Just hold her."