Disclaimer:

I would absolutely love to own Final Fantasy VII and Vincent Valentine, but I don't, so I've got to make do with a little fanfic instead.

FF7, Vincent Valentine and everything else that's got to do with the FF7 world belongs to SquareSoft and not me.

Hear that? NOT ME!!!

By QueenQeeko.

Flesh, Blood + Titanium.

Chapter 1 – Still Not Human.

Clank.

That's the sound it makes.

Clank.

How long have I listened to it make that sound now?

Clank.

I do not remember if it made any other noises, besides when it clangs.

Clank.

No, that was another clank.

But it will clank again.

Clank.

There you go.

It is always clanking, clanking, clanging and clanking.

Clank.

And always will as far as I can predict.

Clank.

Perhaps the clanking is simply there to remind me of its presence.

Clank.

No, who could miss it?

I will never be able to forget this cursed object.

Clank.

It doesn't need a reminder.

Clank.

It IS a reminder.

Clank.

A reminder of loss, a reminder of mistakes and a reminder of guilt.

Clank.

A reminder of pain.

Clank.

Yes.

Clank.

Pain.

Clank.

Pain.

Clank.

I should be used to pain by now.

Clank.

After all, who is more deserving of pain than I?

Clank.

No one.

A demon such as myself walks a painful path of sorrow knowing all truth to treachery and redemption.

Clank.

And I will do it alone.

Clank.

Forever…

HHhhoooOOOWWWWwwwlllLLLL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't think the word 'pointless' means anything to these people. If it did, Junon's Mayor would realize that there's nothing cheerful, or friendly for that matter, in the look Cloud is giving him.

This would have to be the fifth time we've had to stand above hundreds (or maybe thousands, there's so many people no one could be bothered to count) of civilians and listen to some politician state the 'wondrous adventure and the victory at the end of a task one could only dream of in legends' thing over again.

I look over the side again, peering down at the greenish blue waters below the Junon cannon. It's lucky that I really have nothing better to do or anywhere to be. Well, lucky for the Mayor anyway. I guess that's why I'm standing here, with the other AVALANCHE members on top of one of the buildings, listening to very much the same thing they say every time. I think I'm beginning to predict every word that's about to come out of the Mayor's mouth, I've heard this enough times now. It's like a recording. Do they really doubt the public people's ability to remember our amazing feats that they have to say it again, just for the fifth time to make sure they got it?

And I don't understand why we have to be here to listen to it either. We were there; they don't have to tell us what happened. Cloud looks as though he's contemplating how the Mayor's blood may look spread across his sword; he is stroking the blade a lot. Or maybe it's just my sick and twisted judgment.

Yuffie did tell me off for stating the bloodthirsty nature Tonberries, no matter how cute she believed they look.

"Ew!! You didn't have to tell me that, Vinnie! I know what knives do!" she had screeched, firmly covering her ears.

A dud cigarette flies past my face, and I look questionably at Cid, who stands three places from me. Between us are RedXIII and Yuffie, Yuffie on my left with Red after her, then Cid, then Barrett and Tifa.

"Sorry 'bout that, Vince," Cid whispers across to me, "But I wouldn't look too good a role model if I chucked it in the drink."

I shrug. I couldn't care less if the Junon seas received a cigarette or two. The city locals dump loads of much more environmentally harmful garbage into the waters that I doubt it would make much difference. RedXIII yawns and curls into a ball, already nodding as he sits. A yawn escapes me as well. Am I really that bored, or is it the yawn affect? Perhaps it's a combination of both.

"And today, the heroes stand before us, living legends, saviors of our planet!! Never forget their triumph over the godly powers of destruction!" the Mayor recites. Is it just me, or can anyone else tell he got those lines out of a book? Bad choice too, for that was the lamest attempt to sound respecting to us.

"When you doubt life, remember their deeds, be proud of your purpose for life and always look forward to our brighter future!" We must be getting close to the end now, for I don't remember him saying that last time. Of course I was only half listening.

"And now AVALANCHE will answer some of the public's questions!"

What?! Where did that come from? We all look to Cloud for an explanation about the Mayor suddenly dropping that on us. He just sighs tiredly and tells us "Just do your best guys."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Finally!!!!!" Yuffie exclaims, stretching hers arms and making a big show out of being stiff from lack of movement. I almost laugh, but I don't because I'm busy flexing my own neglected muscles. Besides, laughing would draw attention to me instantly, and I don't want that.

"That was so unfair, Cloud!" Yuffie continues, nearly tripping over her own feet as she runs around the Highwind deck, "How could you accept another public awarding? All he does is say how great we are and tell everyone we deserve special treatment! Woo! Hurray! I could tell you that!"

Cloud just rolls his eyes. "When they call you at two in the morning, requesting another appearance, you normally say anything just so they'd let you get back to sleep," Cloud defends, sagging his head forward as Tifa massages his shoulders.

"Why didn't you just hang up?!"

"I did. They called back again."

"Pull the phone out of the wall!"

"I did that too. They called my cell phone."

"Turn it off!"

"I did. They threw another one through the window."

"Close the window!"

"I also did that. They broke the window."

I stay by the ladder for the moment, unsure if I want to listen to Yuffie's whining. I hazard that she'll quiet down as soon as Cid fires up the Highwind, so I make my decision and move inside.

I suppose all these public appearances have at least kept us somewhat busy. Truthfully, I'm at a lost as to what I am to do now. It seems so long ago now, the day the coffin lid was removed from above me. Well, that was mostly my doing; it was the spiky haired individual who provoked it. After such long slumber, who'd have thought I'd be woken up to redeem myself. Supposedly, thirty years was pushing it a bit.

My hand finds my revolver, as I picture that moment, that sweet instant Hojo finally suffered for the torture he'd dealt me. I only chose to join AVALANCHE because it finally dawned on me that I could do something about paying Hojo back for reducing me to the wretched existence I am now. He'd wronged me. It had been too long a wait, but maybe, death was far too gentle a punishment for the deranged professor.

Yes, definitely too gentle. He deserved a much more horrific death than the one he got, even to scrape the edge of pay back for what he did to my beloved.

Pushing the thoughts to the back of my mind for a brief moment, I take my usual position on the bridge. The other AVALANCHE members file in as well, seemingly in better moods after a good griping. I notice with some satisfaction that Yuffie has not joined us. She knows the Highwind will move soon, and is probably staying by the hole in the last room for preparation.

"Well let's get out of here," Cid suggests, speaking the thoughts of everyone to a pretty accurate extent. He flips two switches and pulls one lever, presses four buttons and the ship lurches to life. The Highwind shakes and rumbles with power, the way it has always done but stronger now, ever since the emergency rockets were put into practice. We've all been traveling by airship for so long that no one loses balance at the start up anymore, with the exception of a certain ninja. Incidentally, I think I can hear her hacking up from here. We take off slower than usual, noticeably and without the need to mention it that we really have nothing to rush about anymore. Well, actually I myself have never had anything to rush about. Lack of enthusiasm maybe? It matters not.

"Where are you going, Vincent?" Tifa asks me before I can escape through the doorway.

"I'm just going out onto the deck, Tifa," I answer her truthfully, "I need some fresh air after Junon." I turn around half way to catch her accepting nod and sweet smile. Tifa is probably the one I respect the most out of all my AVALANCHE teammates. She is always willing to help anyone with any trouble they had, but is courteous enough to back off when time really called for it. A very good friend. I give her the ghost of a smile back, and then head out towards the deck. As I pass Yuffie in the engine room, I subconsciously halt my breathing in order to block out the scent of vomit that had caught the few unfortunate components in the way of her hurling. She pays no attention to my presence, and I don't bother showing that I acknowledged hers.

Reaching the landing I step up to a railing and lean on it. The rush of the air current and the fresh scent it carries helps rejuvenate me, and I enjoy it all by myself.

I guess I find sanctuary in being alone. I've had it explained to me why it's bad: it's lonely. My, what bright sparks they are. But lonely is good sometimes. Being lonely allows your thoughts to wander, and to escape into yourself. I'd much rather be left alone with my thoughts than be constantly surrounded by chatting companions. Thankfully, the friends I have acquired on our quest are decent, and only speak when necessary.

Except for Aerith, but she is no longer with us. I admit that I do miss Aerith, she was a gentle soul, and she died very young protecting an entire planet of people that never did anything for her in return. Or maybe she did it only for the planet itself and its life force. Whatever the case, I miss her. Hell, we all miss Aerith. Especially Cloud. No one cried as much as he did when she was skewered by Sephiroth's blade. How can I forget the tears streaming down his face as he attacked Jenova? We all hoped we wouldn't have to witness him weep again. Although I truthfully cannot pick which of Aerith and Tifa he loved. I know for a fact from his past that he once did everything he could for the attention of Tifa, but having never gotten it when he needed it, maybe that's why he felt more for Aerith? The dear flower girl had a strange attracting aura about her. And now we walk the planet without her.

A sigh escapes me. It hasn't been long enough to heal from the morning of our friend, but I still worry for Tifa having seen disappointment on her face whenever Cloud has that faraway look for Aerith. 

Clank.

Clank? Did I just hear that? I hope not. Anyone that has been close to me ever since my…forced alteration, will know that a clanking noise means my artificial arm is moving. Funny, As far as I can see, by leaning on this railing I'm not exactly allowing much movement to permit. Perhaps it was just my imagination.

Clank.

Perhaps not. Now I am worried. The only other cause of movement is…

Clank.

Shit. I look to my claw in a state of climbing panic as I see the metal of my arm pulsing and lifting. Why now? The metal then begins to change color, darkening, gradually being engulfed by dark flesh creeping from my arm and devouring the claw. My remaining hand begins to change as well, growing black talons and changing purple. Then the pain in my chest and head begins.

"YUFFIE!!!" I only hope that she hears me, or one of the others for I can never control myself like this. I stagger forward towards the entrance, hardly capable of keeping my balance. My legs buckle under me, unsteady from the morphing taking place.

"YUFFIE!!! CLOUD!!! H-HELP!!!" I feel incredible pain shoot down my spine and circle m shoulder blades, moments before a spray of hot blood it spread across the deck as a pair of ebony lined crimson wings burst from my back. I scream in anguish. The pain is maddening, and just as my eyesight changes too, I glimpse Cloud and Barrett just appearing from the entrance with weapons in hand.

And then I remember nothing, slipping into dark unconsciousness as a hidden being within me takes control…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A bright light is hurting my eyes from above, despite my tightly shut eyelids. My head hurts excruciatingly, and I feel torn and weary all over my body. I'm waking up. Cracking one eye open, I shut it again because of the lamp directly over my head. It takes some effort, but I manage to raise my head and glance down briefly. I'm lying on an unknown bed, bound to it by six strong straps. Two are around my wrists and fastened to the underside of the bed. Another is across my chest, and the other three are secured around my legs. I was obviously not very cooperative earlier. I let my head fall back and close my eyes, not wanting to observe the bloodied bed sheets any longer. My clothes had been changed, but the stench on blood still pollutes them.

"Vincent?"

Tifa's voice. Her voice came from somewhere to the above left of me, but a manage little more than a throaty murmur in response.

"Vincent? Are you alright?" Tifa asks again.

"Tifa…" I answer with effort. She encourages me to go on, "please turn that light away." My eyes feel some relief as the red underside of my eyelids becomes black, and I sigh. She offers me water, which I glad accept from the bottle she holds to my dry blood tasting lips.

"Vincent, what happened?" asks Cloud's voice from further away. I don't answer. I'd much rather him answering that same question for me. I only know I transformed, not much after that.

"I didn't want to lay down, did I?" I ask a question of my own, knowing this will cause them to explain what happened.

"You were only half yourself again when we got here," Tifa explains, "We had to get you down somehow.

"We'll just leave them on for a little while longer, okay buddy?" Cloud reasons. "You had a convulsions while you slept, so incase you transform again, we can act faster." I nod weakly, hoping they'd tell me where the hell we are.

"We were really worried, Vincent," Tifa says gently. I sigh.

"Yeah, so was I."

"We had to fight you to get you back to normal, and by then we had already reached Kalm."

Ah, okay, so I know our location now.

"Wait, you had to fight me?"

"Yes, we did."

I spring up in alarm, ripping the straps apart from my forced movement. Sitting up I immediately look around to Tifa, sitting at my bedside, and Cloud leaning against the opposite wall. Cloud's left arm is covered in bandages, and he has a decent burn mark on his right cheek. He's not wearing his SOLDIER uniform now, and is standing about in T-shirt and track pant. And the lovely Tifa beside me, sitting in a short sky blue garden dress, several fading bruises on her arms and a healing gash on her forehead.

My heart feels like it's going to break. I slowly reach out and take her soft cheek in my ungloved hand. I've done such damage to my friends. I don't care how much emotion I'm showing here, I only care that I'm done harm to the ones that I truly care for.

 "Oh, Tifa," I gasp out, my voice etched with grief, "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Cloud." I drop my arm and look away, disgusted with myself. I hear footsteps approach the bed, and then a hand is gripping my shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault." I could laugh at Cloud's words, but I won't. I just place my hand over is and hold it tight. I squeeze my eyes shut, still feeling a coming flow of disgrace.

"So sleeping beauty is awake?" comes a sleepy voice far to my left. In unison with Cloud and Tifa I turn my head and spot Cid, shirtless and sitting up in his own bed. I truly didn't know there was anyone else in here.

"Take it easy on yourself, Vince," Cid says, "none cares as long as we're all alright." I smile faintly at his kind words, but I still feel like a burden to these people. I feel as though I can't change it as long as I'm still s monster, still not human.

Next Chapter - Sanctuary.

~QueenQeeko.