Disclaimer: I still don't own Gravitation and its characters. Schwee. Woe is to me, I am nothing but a sad fangirl who delights in torturing these chararas…

A/N: I was hoping to finish the next chapter before I edited and posted this chapter up, but as it is, my muses seem to have… taken another break. I blame Tohma for this who insisted on starting the next chapter in his POV. I actually had two pages written in his POV but then, I realized, I was giving away too much by writing in his POV, so I scrapped his part and decided to write the next part in Yukito's POV. It's proving to be problematic. Two years ago, I was set on a hospital-scene… but ah well. When will it end! Anyway, while my muses for this fic seem to have taken a small break, I decided to start on a Love Mode fanfic. It's fun, but… where are all the Takamiya/Izumi fans? D;

As usual, uber thanks to the great HawkClowd/kageotogi for her beta-ing and great advice. I really am learning XD

And thanks to all the people have been reading and reviewing too: (gives cookies once again to Dee, Inoue, cocoke5, asarakaden, caberwolf, Just Jill, Elizabeth Whittaker, scorpioo)

To Dee: Well, don't bet on Ai being the one behind it all too soon… yeah. (coughs) I can't wait for Shuichi to come back either! In my impatience, I've actually thought of making him come back as a scary figment of Yukito's imagination….

To Inoue: Yeah, I hope this doesn't end senseless. One of the reasons for the inconsistency is most probably the fact that I've been working on this fic on and off for three years. So yeah… A lot of evolving has happened to the actual plot. If and when I finish this fic, I'll be able to compare my initial idea with the end product – must be so far from the initial idea now… Oh and I just enjoy screwing with Gravitation and turning it into one big… angst… fest. Yes.

And finally, yes, Kyoko is dead. Dead.

I have a few illustrations for this chapter; I'll post them up at my user profile. And now On to the fic (This chapter's short, but it had to be done… Oh and… disturbing imagery warning. Yes. Gore. Blood. Nightmare. Nothing too bad, but… warning to be on the safe side.)

Chapter Twenty-Two: Blood on My Hands

Red.

"Yukito. Why? Why me?"

Black.

"Why? Why? Did you hate me so much?"

Red.

Bright blue. Eyeballs set on an empty face, whole but dangling by vine-like fleshy appendages. Bits of white peeked out of clumps of flesh and blood; bones that clung stubbornly where flesh blew away.

Yukito felt himself take form, felt himself take a conscious step backwards as the faceless bloody mess edged closer towards him. Around him, the sound of teeth chattering circled him becoming louder and quieter in an endless cycle.

"You didn't have to kill me!" the bloody remains cried and as it formed the words with an oddly normal but desperate voice, Yukito saw the lumps of flesh inside the face shift and tremble as it tried to form a mouth.

"I'm sorry," Yukito found himself saying, shortly before a sharp surprised cry escaped his lips as the corpse reached out to grab his left wrist. The fingers were cold and hard and they pressed into his flesh hard until he could almost feel her bones pressing against his own.

The corpse yanked him downwards by his wrist. Yukito yelped in pain and gasped as the smell of blood all but overcame his sense of smell. He wretched, eyes shut tight as he did, and when he opened his eyes again he found himself staring into the hollow bloody cave that had once been Kyoko's face. He heard her hoarse whisper in his ears, "You killed them, too."

The teeth-chattering became accusing laughter and then, finally, hissing.

Murderer.

Liar.

Murderer.

"No—" Yukito tried to say but long arms wrapped around him and began pulling him toward its body. He struggled, tried to break away from the dead's embrace, but soon found himself being assimilated into the body. He began screaming but was cut off as his face was buried into the bloody, hollow face.

000

Ruka shook his head, politely refusing the small bottled substance he was offered. The casually dressed police officer – at least, Ruka thought he was— frowned at this, but Ruka explained quickly, holding the unconscious Yukito closer to his chest: "No, if you don't mind…. I'd like for him to sleep this through… He's… he's not hurt. He'll need it."

The police officer, who Ruka thought, upon closer inspection looked no older than him, pocketed the bottle but looked extremely displeased. "He's not going to run away," Ruka added bitterly just as the 'police officer' began walking way. "And he's innocent," he added as an afterthought.

The 'police officer' shrugged and he seemed to be sneering, but he left them to their devices and went towards the crime scene. They hadn't bothered to move Kyoko's remains and were still hovering around them like they were a museum exhibit, clinically studying every aspect. Ruka had seen it before they threw a thin, white blanket over it, and it was nothing short of gruesome. Her face had been blown off completely while the back of her head remained relatively in tact save for a gaping hole half the size of one yen coin (1).

"This isn't going to be good for the school," Takumi said quietly, coming up beside him.

Ruka only snorted. "Ever heard of the saying: any publicity is good publicity? …Hey, is that your uncle handling the investigations for this?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"I wonder how that happened…" Ruka said in sarcasm. Takumi scoffed at him and sat down on the pavement beside him.

"I guess Juni couldn't handle the blood, could he? Went home as soon as they finished questioning him…"

Ruka laughed and then looked down, remembering Yukito was in his arms. "Poor thing almost fainted… I feel sorry, almost," he paused and breathed. "I wonder how it was…. Seeing her face blown off on the spot…"

"…They'll have to take him in for grief counseling for that. They have people take grief counseling for less, too—Yukito's going to have nightmares out of this…"

"Poor chibi," Ruka whispered softly and eyed the specks of dried blood on Yukito's face and hair. When they had arrived – and it seemed like hours ago – seeing Yukito covered in blood had almost given him a heart attack. Thankfully, when the emergency people arrived, they found he wasn't hurt physically but Ruka remembered that tortured look Yukito had given him before collapsing into an unconscious heap.

"Looks like she's here," Ruka heard Takumi say softly. Knowing what he meant by that, Ruka looked toward the parking lot and found a familiar pair talking with the 'police officer' who had been bugging him earlier. Yukito's fiancée looked worried. Her pretty face was scrunched up in the worst frown Ruka had seen her wear in years. Freesia remained emotionless as ever, but Ruka knew the woman had always been and would always be like that. He waved at them once the 'police officer' was gracious enough to let them through the crime scene.

"We've got some explaining to do now, huh?" Ruka hummed to himself, wondering if Yukito could hear him.

000

Orbs of red exploded around him as he broke out, hands clawing mindlessly at the thin, cloth-like wall. Gasping for air, Yukito collapsed to his knees. Tears welled in his eyes. The smell of blood and death hung thickly in the air.

He tilted his head upwards and watched with morbid fascination as strings of black and white wove together in front of him. The strings, oddly, began forming pictures in the dark. A road, rocks, dead trees… a car….

He rose up from the floor and, once he had his balance, began walking slowly towards the car. The drawn car. Colors rushed around him suddenly in a blinding explosion and when he blinked his eyes open, the darkness was gone, replaced by an eerily familiar sight.

The front door of the car opened for him on its own. Curious but wary, Yukito took small hesitant steps as he closed in.

Murderer, the wind whispered hastily into his ears. He ignored it and breathed in deeply as he readied himself for whatever was inside the car.

Blood.

And more blood.

His mouth hung open. Dry. A bloody mess where there should be a face. Blood on the steering wheel. Yukito noticed the cracked lines on the windshield. His mouth began moving on its own, forming words he knew had been said but Yukito could not recall.

His arms moved on their own, reaching out while trembling uncontrollably. Fingertips traced the bit of skin that remained on the corpse's face. Tremble. Shake. His lips moved again and then his face was deep into the corpse's bloody chest, taking in the odd mixture of cologne, blood, and… gunpowder?

A sharp intake of air, echoed by a tiny whimper.

Yukito's body rose away sharply, turning to the whimper and he saw pink in the darkness. Bright pink and purple. Glittering orbs.

Pleasepleaseohgodplease…please don't kill me…

"I'll kill you," Yukito heard himself say. His voice was dreadful, hoarse, and filled with hate.

The cold of metal materialized in Yukito's hands. Looking down, he saw a gun in his right hand.

No... please..please... don't kill me... Pleaseplease…

"If you think you can escape... Hah, think again, whore!"

His body broke into a run. He felt the rush of cold wind against his face. He closed his eyes.

There was laughter.

000

Tohma remembered why he disliked dealing with the police. They were always so persistent, so tactless and simple-minded. He was glad he had spoken to the police chief shortly after the news came to him, but he doubted they could deal with it like they had Shuichi's accident. He sighed and crossed his arms. At the center of it all was Yukito, who had been the only witness. To make matters worse, it seemed the victim – from what he'd heard and gathered – had met with Eiri only days ago.

He knew both were innocent, but he doubted the police were going to see that as easily as he could. He shook his head and leaned back on in chair.

"Uugh…"

Tohma watched Yukito as he stirred slightly in his sleep, a look of fear playing on his face. Only hours ago, he had been watching Eiri and worrying about how he could shield Eiri from any more damage. To think he'd have to worry about Yukito in the same way…

The door to Yukito's room opened, and Ai, carrying a tray with two glasses of juice, stepped in. "Thank you for you help again, Seguchi," she said as she handed him a glass. Tohma accepted with a slight nod.

"It was nothing," he said quietly before taking a small sip. That was an understatement; the police had been bent on dragging their unconscious witness back to their headquarters so they could question him as soon as he came to. They hadn't really said that, but Tohma imagined they had thought of it. It had taken a lot of talking on his part to get Yukito back home. The power and influence that came from being the president of a powerful company and a former member of a near-legendary band really came in handy at times like this. He pitied lesser men who'd had to handle similar situations.

"If they find out it's you who had that girl killed, I'll be upset," Tohma said conversationally, resting his glass on his lap. He met Ai's green eyes with his and smiled gently the smile he used when he wanted to get a point across.

Ai froze. She stammered as she spoke. "So you heard about what I did...?"

Tohma nodded once and let the smile drop. "That was some stunt you pulled; now they're convinced you could be responsible for her death... Doesn't it make you curious as to how they found out?"

"She probably told someone… "Ai whispered. "I was… really… upset. I only wanted to frighten her..."

"Well, whatever you did, Mizuki-san," Tohma paused to glance at Yukito and continued softly, "he's likely going to pay for it."

Ai was silent but Tohma saw the look she gave Yukito and sighed. He had a lot of work cut out for him.

000

A trail of red.

Pink.

Red.

High-pitched laughter followed him as he chased the pink-headed figure in the dark. It left two winding trails of angry red blood in the blackened ground.

"Do you think I'll let you live?" Yukito heard himself growl. His right arm moved on its own. Gun in hand, it pulled the trigger twice, firing at the dark.

The figure went down and a pool of blood grew in its wake.

"What do you want from me?" the other yelled. Desperate. Sad. Angry. Bright blue… oddly purple… under a mess of damp pink hair streaked with blood, stared up at him defiantly as he stood triumphantly in front of him. Towering. Menacing. "Did someone from another recording company send you? To scare me? To make me quit? That's pathetic!"

The words were brave, defiant, complimenting the bright eyes that refused to back down but the voice it was said in was trembling, fearful… Yukito laughed hollowly. He knelt down and cupped the boy's chin.

"Brave til the end, huh?" He spat on the boy's face and straddled him. The boy thrashed, but Yukito was stronger. Carefully, almost ceremonially, Yukito set his gun aside where he could easily reach it later. He flexed his fingers then and, smirking, wrapped them around the boy's thin neck.

The boy let out a cry.

Blood trailed down his left arm and pain soon followed but he squeezed harder. Inside, Yukito – the one who had long lost control – fought to end the horrific scene but to no avail. The fingers pressed into delicate flesh harder until those pretty purple eyes began glazing upwards.

"…yu…ki…" the boy croaked. Yukito watched as the other tried to tilt his head upwards, to gain some space for air.

"…yu….ki…" the boy repeated again; weaker this time. Laughter.

"I'm going to haunt you forever, Shuichi." It was his voice. "Die… die… die…"

Purple eyes rolled upwards completely. Yukito stared into the whiteness.

"Murderer," the boy's mouth moved to whisper suddenly. "Liar."

"No—" Yukito trailed away and found himself in control again. He released the neck in his grasp and stumbled backwards. "No… I'm.. not.. I didn't… I didn't mean to!" he cried desperately and could only watch in muted dread as the boy rose upwards. He was suddenly holding the gun in his bloodied hands.

Shindou Shuichi pointed the gun at him, smiling quietly with white, unseeing eyes.

"Murderer."

A loud gunshot filled Yukito's ears and he heard nothing more.

000

I didn't… I didn't—

Yukito sat up, gasping painfully as he came to. At first the fact that he had woken refused to register and he looked around in panic, worried about bloody specters clawing at and demanding justice from him. But then his gaze fell upon Seguchi and the older man held him in a calming gaze that eased the thunderous heartbeat in his chest and chased away his greater fears.

"Tohma!" He gasped as he threw himself into the man's arms and began crying. "I didn't…. I didn't mean.. to.. I didn't… I didn't want her to die…."

"I know you didn't…" Tohma assured him. He began petting the boy's head gently. Yukito shook his head, burying his face deeper into the older man's chest.

"Tohma-kun…I'm afraid…" the boy whispered. He clung to Tohma tightly and the blond man let him.

"I know you are."

"No…Tohma… I…Tohma…."

Tohma frowned slightly as Yukito pulled away from him. The boy clumsily wiped his tears with the palm of his hand.

"Ai… " Yukito stopped himself and began shaking his head. He tried, several times, to say something but would fail after the first words. It made Tohma wonder what Yukito wanted said about his fiancée that had him so flustered.

"Ai…Tohma! Ai's lying to me," Yukito finally said, forcing the words out with much difficulty. Tohma kept a calm, emotionless face and watched with increasing alarm as the brunet began covering his face with his hands and shaking. "…I …I don't know what to believe… I don't know what to do…." Yukito laughed bitterly and continued, "She said… she said….Ai was lying that... that she was lying to me that… that—" he stopped again, remembering something suddenly. Tohma waited patiently.

"…after K-kyoko died… somebody called me… said.. said.. I should be glad! It sounded… like… I.. I killed her, Tohma—"

"You didn't, I can assure you that."

"—But what if I did, Tohma? What if… what if… I… there's… I'm… someone.. else?" Yukito sounded desperate and confused. Very confused. Tohma could hardly follow Yukito's train of thought but he kept quiet, waiting for that precious understanding to come to him on his own.

Yukito began rambling incoherently. "I… I'm afraid," he said finally, and Tohma understood that part clearly. With a long-suffering sigh, he pulled Yukito into an embrace.

"Don't worry, I'll handle this. You didn't kill anyone, Yuki," Tohma whispered, his voice only loud enough for Yukito to hear. Yukito became lax in his arms and Tohma was glad because it looked like the boy had finally exhausted himself by rambling but then he suddenly began shaking.

"Yuki… what is it?" Tohma asked sharply. When the youth didn't answer, he grabbed the boy by his arms and tried to steady him. Yukito's eyes were wide-open but they were staring off to an unknown distance. Tohma had seen that look before on Eiri's face. That far-away look in his eyes had meant he was remembering the traumatic events Kitazawa had put him into. He wondered what kind of horrors were playing in front of Yukito's eyes.

"Tohma…" Yukito said in a small voice suddenly, still staring off. Tohma leaned closer as he wrapped his arms around the boy's shoulder and hoped the boy felt them through his nightmares. "…Tohma… I…"

Yukito's eyes closed and he collapsed in his arms.

"…I…I… killed someone, Tohma… I killed someone..."

Tohma's heart froze. All he could think of was Eiri who had cried the same words into his chest as he wept.

"...Tohma.. I saw him… I saw… I was… I killed..." Yukito suddenly broke into a laugh.

Tohma didn't know if he heard the next two words, but he imagined… he imagined he heard.

Shindou Shuichi.

000

(1) I'm not sure how big bullet holes are, and maybe a one yen coin is much too big. Just to be on the safe side though, I put down 'half a one yen coin' like my beta suggested (thanks D;!). I'm told snipers are uber, really, powerful… but, I wonder how big the holes they make are…