Abhor
Chapter 1: hAtE
I brought the cold can to my parted lips, taking a sip of the god awful tasting liquid. I frowned as I moved it away from myself and placed it on the glass table that was next to the leather couch I sat upon. A deep sigh arose from my throat as I let my thoughts wander; they were the only things that remained somewhat clear. But my eyes were fogged over.
I drink.
I drink because I want to forget. Forget a past that I loathe. A past that won't stay in the fucking past!
This pain- this feeling in my gut. I want to abolish it. I want to shove it away from myself and free myself from its heavy iron shackles. But the damn things hold me firmly in place.
The feeling that I hate is hate. No matter what I do, it still lingers in my heart. The hate for my past, others, and myself! It's always there but I wish that I could . . . I wish I could more forward.
But these restraints . . . these chains . . .
Just maybe . . .
After so long, you'd think these emotions would change. But they don't fade. I often wondered if I feel hate or is it just there? Is it something that would inevitably happen no matter which path I took? Will it be with me until my heart stops pounding into my chest? Can it end before my life does? Oh god, I hope so. I have so much left to do, so much left to say to the others . . . to Kakkarot...
I chuckled as the thought crossed my mind.
Me? Love?
Feh, it couldn't happen and even if it did, who would love me back? No
one. Especially not that third class idiot.
Who am I kidding? I keep fooling myself. I have feelings for him, but not love or friendship.
Lust . . .
I still recall the day I felt a flutter in my stomach, but I still hate him. I hate him for being stronger. I hate him for being a Sayian. I hate him for . . . everything.
He makes me weak in the knees. One of my weaknesses has almost always been the taller Sayian.
He's the soft spot on my heel.
And I hate it.
I hate the moment I realized the feeling. The exact moment . . .
I remember the way his ebony pools of friendship shown through as my balled fist met his gut; I had received a pained cry.The curves of his face, each carefully drawn across smooth skin. His dark brows, gracefully arched. Not too thick, just . . . perfect. His big, sparkling black eyes full of wonder, innocence, hope, and friendship even as I pummeled him into the ground. The bruises didn't alter his beauty, if anything they enhanced it. Even the crimson that slowly rolled down his chin made him tastier. His clothing tore, exposing slightly tanned skin, his muscles rippling and glistening under the sun's rays.
My fist slammed into the back of his neck, sending him to the ground. The dirt and rocks shot up from the ground as his body connected with it, a strangled cry was released from his lips.
As he slowly got up from the rubble, I eyed his dark unruly hair. Spikes protruded in every direction with a few stray strands sticking out. His bangs concealed his eyes and at that moment, I found myself wanting to rake my fingers through the silk and entangle my fingers into it. But I wasn't graced with the pleasure.
A feeling had bubbled up in my gut. A flutter of something, but it wasn't hate. It slowly rose, causing my face and groin to heat up. Pink spread across my cheeks but I shook it away as Kakkarot flew over to where I was hovering in midair.
He told me I was getting stronger, but I knew I still didn't compare to him. He was a Super Sayian and I am not. I can feel that I will soon ascend. He defeated me without even going Super Sayian. A kick to the back sent black shooting across my vision. I had yelled, he left, and I haven't seen him since then.
It's been two weeks, maybe I should check up on him . . . I need a good spar. I pondered as I picked up the beer can yet again. I gulped down the liquid until nothing flooded into my mouth; I then easily crushed it in my hand.I tossed it to the floor.
The woman wasn't here.
Thank god.
She had gone to some . . . thing with her annoying parents.
I slowly got to my feet, the room now suddenly spinning. I groaned as a throb began at my brow.
Dammit! Why do humans make such things?
You'd think there would be no after affect.
I moved towards the kitchen trying to keep myself balanced but failing miserably.
The room spun faster in a blur of colors; strangely, a familiar orange and blue appeared. "Vegeta? Vegeta, are you alright?"
I whipped my head around in the direction of the angelic voice. Ka-Kakkarot?
What the hell is he doing here?
He probably felt my disoriented ki. The presence moved behind me, a sweet earth scent reached me; it had a spark of strawberries to it.
I slowly turned and tried to keep upright. "Ka-" He moved closer.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He sounded worried, but I couldn't really see him too well, but my eyes started to come into focus. I reached forward for him, grasping onto his gi shirt. "Vegeta?" I jerked him forward and pressed my lips firmly against his. He gasped into my mouth and shoved me away but I held him in place, like my chains do to me. "Wh-what are you-"
To be continued . .
.Agent 182: I hope you liked it and please review I love to know what you think!!