By Yume
7-28-03
Yu Yu Hakusho, HxK shounen-ai
(A/N: Hi! Welcome to my fic! Pull up a chair. All right, I'll get the disclaimers out of the way. Yes, I own Yu Yu Hakusho. They're mine, I tell you, mine, all of them!!
*Yume's muse whacks her over the head with a soda*
Hehehe…gomen ne…anyways, yeah. I don't own them. I own a few empty soda cans and a stack of manga. Nothing worth suing me over. And this fic, in case you hadn't noticed, is Hiei x Kurama shounen-ai. Yup. The two of them, as a couple. Nothing graphic, mind you, not yet at least *evil grin* So…enjoy!)
Chapter 1
Thanks for Caring
The light overhead flickered a few times and fizzled out, but the only one there to appreciate it didn't notice. In the now-darkened room a figure rested his weary head on his arms, crimson hair pooling across the desk at which he practically lived as of late. Outside the room an eyebrow perked and a small sigh barely left its print on the quiet of the night. The window creaked open and the sleeper stirred momentarily as the room gained a second inhabitant.
Hiei stared a moment and marveled at the way sleep and the right sort of moonlight could give even the most infamous of demon thieves an almost innocent expression. Anyone who didn't know otherwise would see a sleeping human teenager- no more, no less. He, of course, knew better, and it was this knowledge that added to his irritation. Not only, it seemed, could fatigue deprive a villain of his ruthlessness…it could also deprive him of his common sense; working on all this busy nonsense to the point of exhaustion was the sort of thing that shortened one's lifespan.
This was a scene he had been encountering more often lately and, for reasons he couldn't quite name, it caused the little youkai a deal of distress and annoyance with Kurama's tendency to work himself to sleep every night. Hiei's instinct was to simply roll his eyes and decide that if he insisted on doing this to himself he'd have to deal with the consequences---a sore back in the morning, generally. A few nights ago, however, he had been inexplicably compelled to try something a little different.
"Fox."
"Mnnh." Kurama shrugged Hiei's hand off his shoulder and muttered something.
"Fox. Wake up." Hiei nudged him again, and this time Kurama lifted his head off his arms.
"Hm, wha? What's…" Kurama blinked a few times, his eyes slowly adjusting to the glare of the light on his desk. "Hiei?" The youkai in question nodded and narrowed his eyes, indicating the desk.
"You did it again." It took a few moments for Kurama to realize what he was referring to, and a few more for his next thought to make its way into words. Hiei raised an eyebrow, waiting patiently for what he hoped would be a coherent response.
"Oh…" Well, it was coherent…as coherent as a one-word answer could be, at least. He rolled his eyes and pointed to the bed. "Go on." Kurama blinked again and sat up, stretching his back. "Yeah…okay, good idea…" He stood up and smiled warmly at Hiei. "Thanks…"
"For what?"
"For…" He paused a moment, yawned, and walked over to the bed. "For caring."
Those words had frozen Hiei, rendering him silent for a moment until Kurama had sleepily asked whether he was okay. He had stammered out some appropriately detached response, something along the lines of "who says I care, I just don't want to hear you complain about a bad night's sleep tomorrow". The warm smile that greeted this answer stated more clearly than words could that Kurama didn't buy this at all. Unsettled by the thought of his own transparent display of concern, Hiei had nodded a quick goodnight before making his usual silent exit. Now here he was again, the situation just as before- Kurama lay face-down amid a pile of books, using one as an undoubtedly uncomfortable substitute for a pillow, and Hiei could only look on helplessly. He wanted Kurama to sleep well, mentally scolding the stupid fox for driving himself to such exhaustion all for the sake of some silly ningen schoolwork. He wasn't entirely sure why the sight of the redhead in that lethargic state worried him, since in reality Kurama wasn't the sort to complain the next morning about the stiff back he was giving himself, but it worried him nonetheless.
"Thanks…""For what?"
"For…for caring."
Equally troubling to Hiei was the idea that his irrational concern was visible to the fox. He couldn't be sure- had he become more transparent or was Kurama more perceptive? Either way, he wasn't about to admit that he worried. He already cared for one person, and that care had caused him enough pain already…but Kurama? He wasn't related to Kurama, he held no special bond to him and to express his worry would create one. In his own eyes, Hiei didn't want to connect himself to anyone else. Doing so would only hurt them both, that was his fate as he saw it and the mindset he had come to live with after a lifetime as the "forbidden child".
"Thanks…"Why had Kurama thanked him? Even if he did care, he mused, what was the significance of that? After spending a while wrestling with the question of the value of his concern, he came to the conclusion that this, a desire to be worried about, was another side effect of Kurama's years as a human. His reverie was cut short when a small whimper came from somewhere next to him and Hiei blinked, eyeing its source questioningly. Most of Kurama's face was hidden, by his flowing hair or his arm or the shadows painted by the moonlight, but the small part that Hiei could see was pale and the one visible eye was shut tightly in a nervous frown. Kurama's lips moved but even when he listened carefully all Hiei could hear was the same choked whimpering noise. He leaned down, watching through wide eyes, wondering what nightmares plagued him tonight. Kurama's fingers scrabbled over the desk before gripping onto the nearest piece of paper and holding it in a death grip. Hiei frowned- what was he clinging to so desperately? He inched his hand toward Kurama's arm, planning to shake him back to consciousness, then paused. Now he was saying something, whispering shakily. Hiei strained to hear the words he spoke…
"Please…please don't leave…" There was a desperate tone in his pleas that sent a chill up Hiei's spine, and he unthinkingly replied in an almost-whisper.
"I won't…it's okay…" Kurama whimpered again and Hiei frowned, hesitantly placing his hand over Kurama's and carefully prying his fingers from the paper he had grabbed. "Calm down, fox…" For a moment it seemed that the sleeping boy had heard his murmured reassurance and he became quiet. Hiei's sigh of relief was cut short when he realized that Kurama had flipped his hand over and was now holding onto…Hiei's. Startled, he instinctively moved to pull his hand away and Kurama tightened his grip, not a dangerous one but one that held the same desperation as his voice. Determined now to pull Kurama from his unconscious terror, Hiei frowned and decided waking him up would be the best way to do so.
"Fox." There was no response and Kurama's hand kept its hold on Hiei's.
"Fox…wake up…" Hiei raised his voice a little and was rewarded with Kurama's sleep-blurred voice.
"Nn…Hiei…"
"…yes, it's me. You fell asleep on your desk again." He waited for Kurama to sit up, but he remained asleep, muttering through his dreams.
"Hmn…Hiei…don' leave…don' leave me…"
Hiei blinked, looking curiously down at him and leaning close till his face was within a few inches of Kurama's. Before he could put together any sort of a response to this, the unconscious plea came again.
"Hiei…please…stay with me…'need you…" Thoroughly startled by now, Hiei pulled back a little, lightly shaking Kurama's shoulder with his free hand. A few moments of this proved futile and he found himself helpless to do anything but watch and whisper back the only answer he could produce.
"I'm right here, fox…" To his amazement, Kurama's face lost its painful draw and his expression softened into a contented smile.
"Mn…good…" He squeezed Hiei's hand and dropped it, then the smile faded into the peacefully blank expression of dreamless sleep. It took the youkai standing beside him a few seconds to process what had just happened, and he was fairly sure it would take more than that amount of time to figure out why it seemed so significant. He gathered up his confusion and scattered thoughts and turned back to the window, tensing to leap back into the tree.
"Ahmm.." Hiei stopped, turning to look over at Kurama. To his surprise, Kurama had lifted his head from the desk and was now stretching, his back arched and his face pulled into a yawn. He opened his eyes, blinked, looked over at Hiei and smiled.
"Oh, hello, Hiei. What's up?"
"…"
"Hiei?" He abruptly stopped staring and shrugged.
"Sleeping at your desk again…" he murmured. Kurama blinked, then smiled apologetically and chuckled as he made his way over to the bed.
"Again, ne? I need to stop doing that---what?"
"I didn't say anything."
"No…" Kurama looked at him thoughtfully. "You look…upset about something. Is everything all right?" Hiei paused, searching for an answer. He willed himself to shrug it off, to tell him everything was fine…
"No. What were you dreaming about?" Well, that hadn't come out the way he wanted. Too late now…Kurama sighed and shrugged.
"It's strange…it was just a nightmare I have sometimes but it ended better than it usually does…" He yawned and tucked himself in. "I'll tell you about it in the morning, Hiei…I'm really tired…" Hiei nodded and hopped into the window.
"Wait…you could tell I was dreaming?"
"You looked upset. But it was just a dream, you're fine." At this point Hiei could only wonder where these words were coming from, since his mouth no longer seemed to follow his bidding. He eyed Kurama warily, waiting for a response to what he saw as a ridiculously silly statement. What he got, to his surprise, was another warm smile.
"Thanks."
"Now what? I didn't do any—"
"For caring again."
"…I…"
"'night, Hiei." He sighed and nodded, taking his perch in the tree outside Kurama's window.
"'night."
(A/N: Whew! Finally uploaded! *goes off to party with her muse*
Muse (aka Saka-Yami): Oi, get back here and do the author's notes, ya lazy bum.
Yume: Merr..okay. Notes. Kitsune is Japanese for fox. I don't think I used it in this chapter but if you see it, just know who I'm referring to, okay? Cool. Can we party now?
Yami: Ah-ah…
Yume: Oh yeah! And review. Every time you write a review a Yami gets her wings! *scampers off, cackling*
Yami: I don't want wings! *runs after her*)