Chapter Nineteen:

Jessi woke up as the sun peered through the window and onto her face. She looked over at Matt and smiled as he looked back at her. Her smile faded as she looked around the room adn her gaze landing on the envelopes on the dresser.

"Matt, what are those?" Jessi asked him. He turned his gaze in the same direction and saw the letters.

"I don't know." He said as he got out of the bed, grabbing them and quickly getting back into bed. He handed her the one with her name on it. They both opened th sealed envelopes and began to read. Jessi gasped as she read her's bringing her hand up to her lips to hold in her cries. When they were finished with their letters they looked at eachother. Matt pulled her to him as she let her cries be heard. Suddenly the door flew open as Jeff rushed in.

"What?" Matt asked as he looked at his younger brother.

"Where is she?" Jeff asked frantically.

"What do you mean? Who?" Matt asked back.

"Alisha! Where is she? She's not in her room. She wasnt't there when I woke up and I found this instead." Jeff said as he held up the letter. Jessi looked up to see the letter in his hand adn the tears in his eyes. She knew exaclty where I was. She stood up and left the room with Matt and Jeff right behind her. They all stopped frozen in their tracks as they all laid eyes on my body in the swing. Jeff rushed out the doors and over to me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and shokk my genlty, trying to wake me. He collasped to his knees sobbing when I wouldn't open my eyes. Jessi walked out and helped him to his feet, wrapping her arms around him as they both cried. Matt joined them and slowly lead them back into the house.

~1 Week Later~

Everyone as gathered in the small church in Jessi's hometown. Matt and Jeff both at her sides. Jeff turned to Jessi and took her hand in his. She looked over at him, her expression blank, numb.

"May I be the one to say a few words?" He asked her in a gentle tone.

"Sure. She would have liked that. I know she would have." Jessi said as a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Thank you." Jeff said. Then when the time came for the eulogy, Jeff stood up. He walked up to the podium, clearing his throat of his unheard sobs and began to speak.

"Alisha, was a phenominal person. In the short time that I had known her, she showed me so many things. How to trust, how to give, how to live, how to exsist, and most importantly, how to love. I loved her more than she'll ever know. In the short time I was with her, I loved more than I have ever loved, more than I will ever love. She told me in a letter once that she regrets everyday with me in which she didn't tell me she loved me. But she didn't have to tell me, I knew it. By the way she smiled at me, the way she looked at me, and even by the way she called me Jeffy or Jeffro. She was wise beyond her years and she loved to pass that on. I'm sure we'll all remember her smartass jokes when we got our facts mixed up or when we just plainly didn't know any better. But most of all we'll all remember her love. SHe told me that she heard this song one day and said that it described how she felt for me, and I think it fits everyone today." Jeff said as he turned around and reached for his guitar. He pulled the shoulder strap ove his head and positioned his fingers and began to play.

"This is dedicated to a woman who was loved beyond her knowlege. Alisha...this is for you" He whispered out the last part.

"There's another world inside of me

That you may never see

There's secrets in this life

That I can't hide

Somewhere in this darkness

There's a light that I can't find

Maybe it's too far away...

Maybe I'm just blind...

Maybe I'm just blind...

So hold me when I'm here

Right me when I'm wrong

Hold me when I'm scared

And love me when I'm gone

Everything I am

And everything in me

Wants to be the one

You wanted me to be

I'll never let you down

Even if I could

I'd give up everything

If only for your good

So hold me when I'm here

Love me when I'm wrong

You can hold me when I'm scared

But you won't always be there

So love me when I'm gone

Love me when I'm gone...

When your education x-ray

Cannot see under my skin

I won't tell you a damn thing

That I could not tell my friends

Now roaming through this darkness

I'm alive but I'm alone

Part of me is fighting this

But part of me is gone

So hold me when I'm here

Right me when I'm wrong

Hold me when I'm scared

And love me when I'm gone

Everything I am

And everything in me

Wants to be the one

You wanted me to be

I'll never let you down

Even if I could

I'd give up everything

If only for your good

So hold me when I'm here

Love me when I'm wrong

You can hold me when I'm scared

But you won't always be there

So love me when I'm gone

Maybe I'm just blind...

So hold me when I'm here

Right me when I'm wrong

Hold me when I'm scared

And love me when I'm gone

Everything I am

And everything in me

Wants to be the one

You wanted me to be

I'll never let you down

Even if I could

I'd give up everything

If only for your good

So hold me when I'm here

Love me when I'm wrong

You can hold me when I'm scared

But you won't always be there

So love me when I'm gone

Love me when I'm gone...

Love me when I'm gone

When I'm Gone

When I'm Gone

When I'm Gone" Jeff let his tears fall as he made the song fade out. He closed his tightly as he whispered to himself. I looked down on this scene and smiled. I was loved beyond my knowlege, and mainly by this man, Jeff Hardy, my soul mate.