A/N: Ok, long time no update, I know. You have to believe me when I say I am soooo sorry. I'll list my excuses below, so wait till then to kill me! Hope you enjoy!!

A Twist of Fate

Chapter Five: Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam

Hermione Granger rolled over on her bed for what seemed like the hundredth time. Try as she might, she could not sleep.

She was wide awake, thinking about the eventful day she had just had. She was excited and nervous for Wednesday, when classes would begin. Would she understand the classes? Would the other students notice if she didn't?

Hermione smiled then, seeing the sleeping form of her roommate on the next bed. Sheena was snoring loudly, her mouth unattractively open. Hermione had made a great new friend; maybe the rest of the students wouldn't be too bad.

She sighed and turned again, this time looking at the bright letters of her small alarm clock. They read 3:37 AM. Hermione really needed to sleep. She had no desire to be a zombie the next day, when she and Sheena would explore the university together.

Hermione settled back under the covers, closed her eyes tightly and tried to relax.

Her stomach grumbled.

She had attempted to ignore the ever-growing hunger that had been building inside of her for the past hour, but now the noise of her stomach rivaled Sheena's snores in volume.

Hermione finally gave in and sat up in bed. She stood and pulled on a pair of slippers. She really should have eaten more than a salad for supper; Sheena had been right in ordering a huge meal. Hermione pulled at her red flannel pajamas and made her way down the hallway. The common room was only a few doors down for her dormitory, and, when she was given the full tour in the morning, she had discovered a small kitchen unit inside of it.

She quietly entered the room, aware of someone sitting on the couch with their back to her, watching the television. Hermione was not aware, however, of the way the stranger's eyes followed her into the kitchen area of the room.

"'Evening, Granger,." the familiar, confident voice spoke.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" Exasperation filled Hermione's voice. It was just her luck that, not only was Draco Malfoy attending Oxford, he was boarding in her dormitory.

Draco still hadn't turned around; she stared at the back of his blond head. "Watching the telly, what does it look like?"

Hermione moved closer to the television, and peered at it. "I never took you for a cooking show fan, Malfoy."

"That just shows how little you truly know about me." His back was still turned to her, but somehow Hermione could sense the smirk in his voice.

"Apparently so." She walked to the counter, opened a cupboard, and pulled down a loaf of whole wheat bread that had Sheena's initials written on it. She had offered Hermione any food she wanted and, on this occasion, she was willing to take her up on it. Locating a toaster further down the counter, Hermione popped two pieces of the bread inside of it.

From a distance, she watched the television. On it, a plump woman was cleaning out the insides of a turkey, apparently preparing to broil it. Hermione cringed inwardly at the sight.

Her toast soon popped back up and Hermione smiled as she heard Draco start with surprise at the sound. After buttering her toast, she walked over and seated herself as far away from him as possible. She noticed, for the first time, the half-empty liquor bottle and glass that sat on the table in front of them.

"You're staying?" Draco asked incredulously, his words slightly slurred together.

"I can't sleep. You'll have to be the one to leave." She took a large bite of her toast.

"Not likely, Granger. I was here first," he pouted.

"Fine, then," Hermione replied easily. "But I'm staying, too. Change the channel, though, will you?"

"Why? I like watching fat ladies baste turkeys." Draco laughed slightly and she turned to him in surprise. He ignored her and took a sip of his Scotch.

"Well I don't," she said matter-of-factly. "So change it."

"Fine." He set down his drink and fiddled with the remote control. Hermione watched as odd menus and markings appeared on the screen.

She laughed loudly. "You don't know how to change the station?"

Draco glared at her. "Of course I know how," he said hotly.

"It's the arrows, you know."

"I knew that," he snorted, and pressed the buttons. Within a few seconds, the loud roaring of the television forced Hermione to cover her ears. The channel had still not changed.

"The other arrows!" she cried. "Those were for volume!" The sound diminshed once more, and the picture on the screen changed quickly.

"Oh, the *other* arrows. Such clear directions, Granger."

"That's not my fault; you said you knew how. Now you've probably woken up the whole floor!" Hermione crossed her arms huffily, and watched as Draco speedily flipped through the stations. "Stop there!" she said quickly when an episode of Monty Python flashed across the screen.

"What the hell is this?" Draco asked, obviously perturbed by the fact that a man was whacking a dead parrot on a solid wooden counter.

"Monty Python. It's very funny." Hermione smiled happily and chewed on the last slice of her toast.

Draco shook his head and took a deep drink from his glass. "Utterly ridiculous." Hermione, who had dissolved into a fit of giggles, didn't hear him. By the time the third skit began, which involved vikings in a cafe, he had had enough. "I'm changing it."

"Just wait a few minutes. This is a good one."

He sighed, and left the silly show on, to Hermione's surprise, though she attributed his change of heart to the large amount of alcohol he had consumed.. A moment later he asked, "What the hell is spam?"

She turned to him. "It's... well, it's processed meat. You buy it in a tin."

Draco seemed mildly interested. "I should try it."

"You wouldn't like it."

"How do you know, Mudblood?" he sneered, and spontaneously stalked towards the kitchen unit. He opened a cupboard and thoroughly searched for something. He finally held up a dark blue tin triumphantly.

Hermione stared at him. "That's not your spam."

"I'm living dangerously." He opened the tin swiftly and grabbed a spoon out of a close-by drawer. "I want to try it." He dipped in his spoon and looked uncertainly at the lump of discoloured meat.

Hermione walked over to the counter and sat on a barstool across from him. "You won't like it, trust me."

With a look of utter defiance, Draco stuck the spoon in his mouth and chewed on the spam. After swallowing he said, "I like it." He took another spoonful and ate it thoughtfully.

Hermione watched him, somehow fascinated. Spoiled brat Draco Malfoy enjoyed processed foods. A question quickly formed in her mind. "Malfoy, why are you here."

Draco looked at her, taken aback by the question. He swallowed and mimicked her. "Why are you here?"

"I asked you first."

"Fine," he sighed, and continued briskly. "Father died, mother took all the money. And you?"

"Parents terrified for my safety," she replied in the same unfeeling manner.

They were both silent, the only sound in the room was the vikings' spam song rising from the television set. Draco was uncomfortable. Maybe it was because he was too comfortable with Hermione. Or perhaps it was the lump of spam that had lodged itself to the roof of his mouth.

"Can I have some?" she asked innocently.

Draco paused and, upon reflection, responded in the only way that seemed natural to him. "I wouldn't want your dirty mouth touching my food, Mudblood." He sniggered at his own wit.

Hermione took a deep breath and ignored the sting of his hateful words. She was not completely shocked by Draco's behaviour. "I guess some things never change, Malfoy. You're still the same ass you've always been. I've lost my appetite." She stalked off to her room.

Draco stared after her. He wasn't hungry anymore either, due to a strange feeling in stomach. He wasn't sure exactly what it was. Draco set down his tin of spam, leaving it open on the counter with his spoon sticking out of it. He entered the hallway and fell in step behind Hermione's pajama-clad form.

She stopped suddenly and turned around. "Are you following me?" she asked angrily.

"I'd have better things to do, Granger. I'm going to my room."

"So am I." Hermione whipped back around and kept walking. She stopped in front of door 347. Draco stopped directly behind her. She turned once more and watched, in horror, as Draco entered the room straight across from her own.

Hermione Granger was in hell.

*******

A/N: So I hope you liked it; I know it was really short considering the long wait. Next chapter will be longer I promise!! So, I'm VERY sorry, but I had: piano practicing, was behind in school-work, voice, teaching 13 students every week, had to play for a dinner theatre, played for four church services, theory classes, harmony classes, had to maintain somewhat of a social life, trying to get in better shape, planning a concert and promoting it, and trying to deal with a friend who was mad at me. Yup, that was my month and a half. I hope your's was less stressful! Anyway, I hope to get the next chapter up within a week (no promises!). Thanks so much to my faithful readers; I'm sorry to put you through such a long no-updating period.

Thank you to: angelover41, Mina-chan2, Kyra3, FoxyChic4u, Sam8, purpledaisey, Crissy Lang, Draco_Fan, SquorpianLady, Irish Lass1, RaeJen INC (Don't worry, the story will get finished, however long it takes. I won't stop after a few chapters! :)) I love reading your reviews everybody!

So thank you again, and I hope I haven't lost too many people because of the length of time I took to update. So please be patient... and review! Especially if you've been reading this and haven't done so yet; I accept annonymous ones, so any comments are very much appreciated!

MI