A/N: Here is my second attempt at this story, there was simply to much pointless crap that made no sense in my last story. *is ashamed* Any way, the first chapter will probably be similar for those of you who have already read it, however the second and the third will be completely re written. Any ways here you go and enjoy.
Disclaimer: Introspective-mortal does not own YGO... *drop of tear*
This story is rated PG-13
It MAY contain Yaoi references, spontaneous acts of violence, suicidal refrences and some foul language. Now, if you send a flame to me for any of these reasons, I will sit here mocking you endlessly and laughing my head off. Don't like it, don't read it.
Summary: Blackmailed by Isis and Ryou, Malik and Bakura set of for hours of non stop torment, oh did I mention we're throwing Anzu into this picture? Yes, yes a shopping trip from hell ^^
and so it begins....
Are you there Ra? It's me Malik
Prologue
It all started out on a beautiful Friday afternoon. The blue birds and robins were chirping. The rabbits were screwing mercilessly and lastly a certain blonde Egyptian was lazily lounging around on the sofa. Sadly, our prince charming was awoken by the deranged sounds of moaning rabbits and chirping robins. Such creatures never existed in Egypt, had they, they would have likely ended up in a sandwich, or an aphrodisiac, he couldn't remember.
Reluctantly, he pulled himself out of the warm cushions and forced himself to go to the kitchen. Grabbing a carton of milk, he took a deep swig. Nearly choking down the stuff, he spit it all out. The milk dripped down his chin and down his bare chest (A/N: *drools*). For all of you wondering, no he isn't naked. He's wearing silky, lavender colored boxers thank you very much.
"What the hell? Isis drinks this crap." He squinted as he read the label.
"M-mi-lk," he sounded out the letters much like a toddler just learning to read.
Ducking back into the fridge he pulled himself out a beer.
The fumbling of keys could be heard outside the apartment door. Isis walked in with her arms full. Isis beamed with excitement.
"There was a sale at the mall today, great finds. I'm no Mai, but a girl could get accustomed to this kind of living."
Malik peered curiously into the bags and snorted.
"What do you need all this garbage for?" He pulled out a piece of silk, white clothing, examining it closely. "This for example, what the hell is it?" He propped the top on his head and snapped the ends along his chin.
Isis turned around and instantly snatched the item of his head. "This is a bra, but I highly doubt that you'll need one," she snapped viciously.
Malik backed off slowly. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He pulled out a bright green box that read: Midol. He understood and backed off slowly, not wanting to provoke her.
He plopped back onto the couch with his beer in hand. Being insane as he was, he started to mumble "Waste of time," under his breath. Sitting back, he though about it. Malls tended to have people, mind you idiotic people but people none the less. "I haven't practiced my shadow magic for some time now.." He amused himself and chuckled evilly.
He popped the top off his beer and raised it to his lips. Isis snatched it out of his hands.
"You shouldn't drink this crap. It'll kill you."
Lavender eyes darted at the transparent bottle filled to the brim with the amber hued liquor, foaming at the top. He tried to reach for it but she slapped his hands away.
"Damn it woman! I'm conscious and sober, there's no excuse for that!"
Her eyes narrowed dangerously, she shot him a 'do you really want to mess with a woman who has PMS look.'
Than her expression brightened. "Any ways, as I was saying. They have a sale going down at the mall. I thought you'd like to get some new clothes, after all your wardrobe could use some new additions. She said gesturing to his only shirt lying on the floor.
"I happen to like that shirt," he protested. (A/N: It's the light purple one with gold chains.)
"In any case, you need more than one shirt. Soo, your going shopping," she said. "With Anzu."
"What?! That bitch? Hell no."
"Your going."
"I won't!"
"You will."
"I'd rather cut myself and bleed to death."
"You can do that when you get new clothes."
"Anzu's coming in five minutes, get dressed."
"You can't make me."
Isis pulled a single key out of her pocket. "If you don't, I'll sell Lucy to Honda."
"W-wait," he sputtered. "You can't. He's a fag, he won't know how to take care of her. He'll use cheap gas and use an ass warmer. An ass warmer!"
(A/N: Lucy being his motorbike and Honda being Tristian)
He sniffed defeatedly. "Fine, I'll go." He swiped his only shirt and pulled it over his head.
Behind the apartment door, muffled voices could be heard.
"I won't do it!"
"Yes you will."
"I'll eat your cat."
"You already killed him."
"Oh yea.. I"ll burn down your house."
"You live there too."
"I'll. -"
"Stop it or I'll pull your hair again."
"Shit! No don't! I'll be good I swear."
The much more violent, white haired boy banged impatiently on the door.
Malik swung open the door grinning like crazy.
"So the tomb robber is afraid of a little hair pulling?"
Bakura scoffed. "No! Ryou told me if I didn't go, he'd force me to listen to the dubbed digimon song. Also, he said he'd sing along. This kid has a huge set of lungs."
"Even when you try to suffocate him with a pillow," Bakura muttered under his breath.
The Egyptian boy patted his back reassuringly.
Ryou sided with Isis.
She talked slowly but loudly, ensuring that they heard every word.
"You won't terrorize anyone. You won't kill Anzu. You won't shoplift. You won't set anything on fire. You won't push people handing out flyers in food costumes hurtling down the escalator like last."
"To be fair, we never succeeded in killing Anzu last time," Malik muttered darkly under his breath.
"One more thing!" Ryou chimed in. "You can't attempt to kill yourselves until after you've gotten new clothes."
"SHIT!" Bakura and Malik swore in unison.
" I'm tired of you stealing everything I own. Do you know how hard blood stains are to get out?" Ryou chirped.
The doorbell rang.
"Hey you guys, it's me Anzu!" cried a voice.
The blonde sniffled and cried into Bakura's chest, baiting their breaths and preparing for what would inevitably be, a day with super happy, friendship, cheerleader girl.
A/N: *hides in fear* Hold your tomatos! I swear.. umm Ryou made me do it.. blarg any ways.. it would be better.. if I could find a beta reader.. *malicious sparkle* Anybody?? I'd bug my friends to do it but there all supa busy.. anyways.. read, review, flames.. email whatever.. go for it
Disclaimer: Introspective-mortal does not own YGO... *drop of tear*
This story is rated PG-13
It MAY contain Yaoi references, spontaneous acts of violence, suicidal refrences and some foul language. Now, if you send a flame to me for any of these reasons, I will sit here mocking you endlessly and laughing my head off. Don't like it, don't read it.
Summary: Blackmailed by Isis and Ryou, Malik and Bakura set of for hours of non stop torment, oh did I mention we're throwing Anzu into this picture? Yes, yes a shopping trip from hell ^^
and so it begins....
Are you there Ra? It's me Malik
Prologue
It all started out on a beautiful Friday afternoon. The blue birds and robins were chirping. The rabbits were screwing mercilessly and lastly a certain blonde Egyptian was lazily lounging around on the sofa. Sadly, our prince charming was awoken by the deranged sounds of moaning rabbits and chirping robins. Such creatures never existed in Egypt, had they, they would have likely ended up in a sandwich, or an aphrodisiac, he couldn't remember.
Reluctantly, he pulled himself out of the warm cushions and forced himself to go to the kitchen. Grabbing a carton of milk, he took a deep swig. Nearly choking down the stuff, he spit it all out. The milk dripped down his chin and down his bare chest (A/N: *drools*). For all of you wondering, no he isn't naked. He's wearing silky, lavender colored boxers thank you very much.
"What the hell? Isis drinks this crap." He squinted as he read the label.
"M-mi-lk," he sounded out the letters much like a toddler just learning to read.
Ducking back into the fridge he pulled himself out a beer.
The fumbling of keys could be heard outside the apartment door. Isis walked in with her arms full. Isis beamed with excitement.
"There was a sale at the mall today, great finds. I'm no Mai, but a girl could get accustomed to this kind of living."
Malik peered curiously into the bags and snorted.
"What do you need all this garbage for?" He pulled out a piece of silk, white clothing, examining it closely. "This for example, what the hell is it?" He propped the top on his head and snapped the ends along his chin.
Isis turned around and instantly snatched the item of his head. "This is a bra, but I highly doubt that you'll need one," she snapped viciously.
Malik backed off slowly. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He pulled out a bright green box that read: Midol. He understood and backed off slowly, not wanting to provoke her.
He plopped back onto the couch with his beer in hand. Being insane as he was, he started to mumble "Waste of time," under his breath. Sitting back, he though about it. Malls tended to have people, mind you idiotic people but people none the less. "I haven't practiced my shadow magic for some time now.." He amused himself and chuckled evilly.
He popped the top off his beer and raised it to his lips. Isis snatched it out of his hands.
"You shouldn't drink this crap. It'll kill you."
Lavender eyes darted at the transparent bottle filled to the brim with the amber hued liquor, foaming at the top. He tried to reach for it but she slapped his hands away.
"Damn it woman! I'm conscious and sober, there's no excuse for that!"
Her eyes narrowed dangerously, she shot him a 'do you really want to mess with a woman who has PMS look.'
Than her expression brightened. "Any ways, as I was saying. They have a sale going down at the mall. I thought you'd like to get some new clothes, after all your wardrobe could use some new additions. She said gesturing to his only shirt lying on the floor.
"I happen to like that shirt," he protested. (A/N: It's the light purple one with gold chains.)
"In any case, you need more than one shirt. Soo, your going shopping," she said. "With Anzu."
"What?! That bitch? Hell no."
"Your going."
"I won't!"
"You will."
"I'd rather cut myself and bleed to death."
"You can do that when you get new clothes."
"Anzu's coming in five minutes, get dressed."
"You can't make me."
Isis pulled a single key out of her pocket. "If you don't, I'll sell Lucy to Honda."
"W-wait," he sputtered. "You can't. He's a fag, he won't know how to take care of her. He'll use cheap gas and use an ass warmer. An ass warmer!"
(A/N: Lucy being his motorbike and Honda being Tristian)
He sniffed defeatedly. "Fine, I'll go." He swiped his only shirt and pulled it over his head.
Behind the apartment door, muffled voices could be heard.
"I won't do it!"
"Yes you will."
"I'll eat your cat."
"You already killed him."
"Oh yea.. I"ll burn down your house."
"You live there too."
"I'll. -"
"Stop it or I'll pull your hair again."
"Shit! No don't! I'll be good I swear."
The much more violent, white haired boy banged impatiently on the door.
Malik swung open the door grinning like crazy.
"So the tomb robber is afraid of a little hair pulling?"
Bakura scoffed. "No! Ryou told me if I didn't go, he'd force me to listen to the dubbed digimon song. Also, he said he'd sing along. This kid has a huge set of lungs."
"Even when you try to suffocate him with a pillow," Bakura muttered under his breath.
The Egyptian boy patted his back reassuringly.
Ryou sided with Isis.
She talked slowly but loudly, ensuring that they heard every word.
"You won't terrorize anyone. You won't kill Anzu. You won't shoplift. You won't set anything on fire. You won't push people handing out flyers in food costumes hurtling down the escalator like last."
"To be fair, we never succeeded in killing Anzu last time," Malik muttered darkly under his breath.
"One more thing!" Ryou chimed in. "You can't attempt to kill yourselves until after you've gotten new clothes."
"SHIT!" Bakura and Malik swore in unison.
" I'm tired of you stealing everything I own. Do you know how hard blood stains are to get out?" Ryou chirped.
The doorbell rang.
"Hey you guys, it's me Anzu!" cried a voice.
The blonde sniffled and cried into Bakura's chest, baiting their breaths and preparing for what would inevitably be, a day with super happy, friendship, cheerleader girl.
A/N: *hides in fear* Hold your tomatos! I swear.. umm Ryou made me do it.. blarg any ways.. it would be better.. if I could find a beta reader.. *malicious sparkle* Anybody?? I'd bug my friends to do it but there all supa busy.. anyways.. read, review, flames.. email whatever.. go for it