Here's the final part, thanks to everyone who has reviewed. I could even be persuaded to write a sequel, that's if anyone wants one of course!!

Sara had driven around for a long time as she tried to make sense of her inner turmoil. Gil Grissom, the man she'd been in love with for an eternity had asked her to go out with him, in public, and she'd turned him down. Although she truly wanted to take him up on his offer, deep down she recognized that her main emotion right now was fear. Just as with Grissom, being afraid was now a clear factor in their 'relationship'.

Now, as she stood watching the calming water ripples of Lake Mead, her heart started to ache with all the things that were never meant to be. Lifting her face into the wind, she made a silent prayer to whoever was listening to take a soft cloth and gently wipe away and absorb all the pain and heartache that had accumulated within her and let her bathe in peace, just at least for a few hours.

Grissom's actions over the last day had cracked open her heart to allow a tiny piece of hope to filter through into her depths, but that hope, no matter how small, had all but melted away when fear of another rejection reared up its ugly head to take a hold of her. Casting her mind back over the last few hours, she replayed every scene, every tiny second over and over and over. His smile, his touch, his voice; they all told her that he at least cared for her, yet she had to admit to herself that although she certainly wanted to take another shuffle step forward, she wasn't sure of his intentions.

The memory of his arms around her came back to engulf her, full force, bringing a pool of tears to her eyes. His warmth still lingered over her body, bringing with it another wave of powerful feelings that almost brought her to her knees. She wanted to have his arms around her again. She needed that feeling of security more than anything else in the world, but would he give it to her? Looking down at her watch, it was almost 9.00 a.m. How long had it been since she went home and contemplated the enigma of Grissom and their fears and desires?

Tiredness floated through her body and she knew that sleep would once again elude her today. Laura Jones' killer was behind bars and she'd effectively brought the case to a close, so she should be able to sleep right? Sighing heavily, she turned away from the ever-changing yet constant scene before her and walked slowly back towards her car. Maybe today, sleep would find her and drag her down into its solitary depths, and take her blues away. Climbing into her Yukon, she looked over at Lake Mead one last time before starting the engine and driving away.

Grissom couldn't sleep. He had been lying in his bed for half an hour, waiting to succumb to sleep but it refused to claim him. He knew that at the root of his problem was the beautiful brunette who haunted his dreams. His feelings were so jumbled that he could hardly make sense of anything anymore. He had been so certain that he could basically just pick up his life from where the surgery had put a temporary halt to his steadily eroding life, to find her and start over with a renewed sense of peace and vigor. The moment he had seen her again after so long would be etched onto his heart forever. She'd always had the power to render him a jabbering idiot even though she had never intentionally done so. So why then, after she had taken the step closer towards him, had he backed away? The truth? She scared him, no, she terrified him. Sara Sidle could bring feelings into him that he never even knew existed. She rendered him powerless against her, and that in itself scared him half to death.

Pulling the covers from his body, he flung them aside and sat up on the side of his bed. Sleep refused to come to him right now so there was no point in willing it to claim him. Rubbing a tired hand over his face, he reached over for his pants that were draped over the end of the bed and pulled them on. He stood to his feet and padded bare foot out into the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks when a small knock sounded on his door. He looked over towards the clock briefly, before making his way towards the door. Pulling it open, all thought of sleeping left his body when the rational part of him once again lost to the overwhelming burst of feelings that literally took his breath away. "Sara?"

Sara's eyes traveled over the length of his body, all the way down to his bare feet and then back up to his eyes. She had no idea why she was here, just that she needed to see him. "I…" she started, her voice trembling as she spoke, "I'm sorry, I woke you, I should go…" She had already started to turn away when his voice called her back.

"Sara, no, don't go." Reaching out a hand, his fingers grazed her arm to halt her movements. "At least come in for a while."

"I don't want to intrude," she whispered, "I don't even know why I'm here."

"You're not intruding," he told her, stepping back from the doorway so she could see into his house, "Sara?"

Sara watched him for a few moments before nodding slightly to take a tentative step forward and into his hallway. Her whole body had been on full alert since she'd ended up outside his door, and his closeness now was eliciting all sorts of feelings that she couldn't define. Even if she would have memorized all the English dictionaries and thesauruses, the words and explanations  found would not be adequate. As soon as she'd stepped into his house, she stopped to wait for him to close the door. The last time she had been here was so long ago that she felt like an intruder now.

Grissom watched her quietly from his place at the doorway and waited for a few moments until he could regain command of his voice. "Go through," he urged, stepping closer to nudge her arm slightly, propelling her further into his domain.

Sara did as he asked, taking a tentative step closer towards his couch to turn around. She could feel the trembling inside her take over her whole body and she suddenly felt incredibly foolish for coming here. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" he asked, a smile forming on his lips as he took a step closer.

"I should have called first. I didn't think.." Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her tattered nerves before attempting to say anything else.

"Look, sit down," he told her softly, "I wasn't asleep."

"Okay," she told him, a tentative smile forming on her face as she slowly sat down onto his leather couch. Grissom regarded her for a moment before taking a slow step to position himself on the opposite end of the couch.

"So?" he started, trying to think of things to say that wouldn't betray the array of emotions inside him.

Sara could see the turmoil in his eyes and turned to fully face him. Reaching out a hand, she brushed her fingers against his arm only to withdraw her hand when she saw the fear filter through in his eyes. "I had some things I needed to tell you," she whispered, her voice so quiet he had to strain to hear her it. "I don't know where to start…"

"Sara…I"

"No, Griss, let me say this okay? I need to say it?"

Sitting back in his seat, he nodded silently while she struggled to reveal to him what was on her mind. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to make you…uncomfortable," she told him quietly, "I know we've discussed this earlier, but I need you to know that I think I understand now."

"Sara? Listen...," he started, his own heart hammering inside his chest.

She started to speak over his words, as if in some kind of cleansing trance, "Somewhere over the last few years, I fell in love with you." She whispered, only turning to him when she heard him gasp beside her. "It's okay," she nodded, "this is something I have done, it wasn't your fault, it's all me."

"Sara, I don't…" His voice faltered against the thudding inside his chest.

"I know," she told him sadly, her eyes filling with unshed tears. "You don't have to say anything. I know you don't have those feelings for me and that's okay too. I just have to find a way to stop feeling the way I do, that's all." Taking a deep breath, she pulled herself up to move away from his couch. "I just needed you to know that it's not your fault. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable at work because of me, so I think I should be the one to leave."

"What?" he asked, her words spurring him to his feet as he edged closer towards her. "You can't leave."

"I need to get away Grissom," she told him as a silent tear escaped to roll down her cheek, "I'm so tired of the pain."

"Sara please," he whispered, his voice clinging to the desperate hope that he could repair the bond that had been fractured between them. "Sit down for a while, let's talk about this."

"That wouldn't be such a good idea Grissom," she told him sadly as her eyes slowly lifted to his. "My feelings don't have an on/off switch that I can just flip so that my feelings I have for you can be replaced with simple friendship. If I could, I would have done that a long time ago." Turning away from him, she walked over towards his door and lifted a hand to linger over the handle. "Goodbye Grissom."

Grissom's heart was thumping so loudly inside his chest that he was so sure she would be able to hear it. He did have feelings for her, and no matter how afraid he was he couldn't let her leave here without exposing at least a tiny glimpse of himself. "Sara…" he groaned, his voice strained against the emotions inside him, "I…" It was as though a monumental wall had been resurected inside his throat, blocking the truthful words that he so desperately needed to voice. Moving closer, he came up to stand behind her. Lifting a hand, he pressed his shaking fingers to her shoulder and heard her stifled gasp against his touch. "Please don't go."

Sara leaned her head against his doorframe and closed her eyes. How could she ever deny him when her feelings ran so deep? "Grissom, I can't…"

"I care," he blurted quickly, forcing the words from his mouth before he lost the power of speech altogether. Her closeness terrified him, and her mere presence rendered him powerless, but he couldn't seem to let her go. "Sara?"

Slowly, she turned around to face him. "Don't say things you don't mean Grissom."

"I mean it. I care." His eyes wandered down to his hand on her arm and then came slowly back up to her eyes. The  honesty there took his breath away and for a heart stopping moment he thought he might just fall into the abyss of her eyes. His whole body had started a tremor to course it's way throughout him and he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his voice under control, but she needed to hear his truth, "Stay?"

Sara hesitated for a moment before she found the answers she needed inside his blue eyes. He was trying so hard to be strong for her. Nodding slightly, she stepped closer to follow him back towards the couch where he sat her down. She was half expecting him to turn tail and return to his previous seat with a safe distance away from her, but when he sat down beside her, almost touching, she could feel her heart racing inside her chest.

Sara's closeness was intoxicating and he was finding it increasingly difficult to move away from her. He was pretty sure that she was just as afraid as he was right now, so finding his courage he reached out a tentative hand to touch her arm. "I'm trying Sara," he whispered softly, "I know you need more from me, but I'm not sure I can give it to you."

His words caused a floodwave of tears threatening to overflow and she found herself turning to him, seeing for herself the very depths of the man who had owned her heart for so long. "Will you hold me?" she asked quietly, still unsure if he would be prepared to break through the barrier of fear that he had erected around him. "Just for a few minutes?" When he didn't move, she closed her eyes against the added rejection and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, that was a real stupid thing to ask, I know you don't……"

Before she could finish, Grissom moved closer and pulled her back against his chest, holding her firmly against him. His heartbeat thudded wildly inside him but he ignored his fear, for once enjoying her closeness. Beside him, Sara turned in his arms to lay her head against his chest and revel in his warmth if only for a short time. His closeness sent warmth into the far reaches of her body that had been consumed with cold fear, melting the ice away. She snuggled in closer to his warmth, taking all he had to offer. Neither spoke as they sought this newfound intimacy, both of them drawing whatever they could from each other. Minutes ticked by in silence. The only sound in the room was their evened breathing; both of them relaxing in each others embrace.

Looking down, Grissom caught sight of Sara's face and suddenly realized she had fallen asleep in his arms. The thought that she had relaxed enough with him to sleep brought all kinds of emotions to surface inside. He could have stayed like this forever, contented to hold her here like this and bask in his love for her. Love? Did he just say love? His heart almost burst inside of him as the feelings hit him full force causing him to tighten his arms around her body. He loved her. Everything, all the feelings, all the thoughts seemed to clear inside his mind to bring one emotion that overtook all the others with perfect clarity. Love. The newfound clarity caused his body to shake beside her and she stirred against him for a second, her arms loosening their hold on him. Gazing down at her again, he watched her sleeping face and found himself smiling. She was here, she had stayed, and now they were together, at least in this capacity. Sliding her gently from his body, he laid her down onto his couch and stood up to gaze down at her. Waking up with her would be one of the most memorable moments in his life, but at the same time he knew after their slow rebuilding of the bond between then, neither could withstand the embarrassment that came with it upon waking. Reaching over behind the couch, he pulled down the blanket that was draped over the back. Opening it up, he laid it over her sleeping form and tucked it in close to her body to banish the coldness. With her asleep like this, he suddenly found his fear starting to slip away. Bending down, he placed a soft kiss into her hair and then pulled back to watch her again. "Goodnight Sara," he whispered softly as he backed away from her until he was standing against his bedroom door. Taking one last look, he turned away to return to the sanctuary of his room, leaving his door open.

On the couch, Sara's eyes cracked open and a small smile crept to her lips. "Goodnight Grissom," she whispered, letting the essence of his love surround her until the warm tug of sleep dragged her down into blissful release…

THE END……..