Chapter 6 : Cry
Disclaimers – Same old, same old.
Naruto stared ahead with an expression that could only be described as a mix of extreme resignation and weariness, as the white haired man sitting beside him hunched over in laughter.
"Y-y-you and t-that…hahaha! You s-saw them! Hahahaha-" Jiraiya slapped his hand on the table repeatedly as he guffawed, earning another dirty look sent his way by Naruto.
"Look, pervert sennin, you can stop laughing now." Naruto muttered, and this only made the sennin laugh harder than before. Naruto sighed heavily, and wondered if he really was born with a lesser brain than the average person to have thought talking to Jiraiya would help.
So far, it's looking like one of the sorriest decisions he had ever made in his life.
"Absolute classic! Man, I wish I had been there! Ahahahhaa! Who would've thought? That Kakashi brat and Iruka! Hahaha! And..and you! This is fabulous material for my novel!" Jiraiya wheezed as he wiped tears of mirth from his eyes, before noticing the color rapidly draining off Naruto's face.
"Fine, fine, I was just kidding ya kid, don't look so upset." Jiraiya grinned.
"Though… I've been thinking about it for a while, there's a big market for these things if you'd believe it," Jiraiya drifted off rubbing his chin "and it's gotten that much more interesting with live materi- okay, okay, don't get so worked up!"
Naruto sat down heavily and slammed his fist down on the table to keep it from its intended trajectory toward Jiraiya's face. As if it wasn't bad enough that he had these weird screws coming loose in his head, and that he hurt Sakura, that he had this annoying accumulation of hurt and betrayal slamming against his chest, now there's the humiliation Jiraiya seems intent on making him live through. Jiraiya observed Naruto's mood plummeting from the corner of his eye before taking a big swallow of his sake and leaned to his side to look at Naruto with a somber expression.
"Look kid, I can't tell you what to do, you've got to figure that one out yourself. Don't go taking pages out of other peoples' books and do what they'll do in the same situation, do what you feel like. You're the one who's going to live with the consequences."
Reaching round to flick Naruto on the forehead, Jiraiya grinned at the scowl he got in return and shoved his cup under Naruto's nose.
"Whatever the outcome of your decision, you're going to grow because of it, treasure the experience for what it is kid, and with that, here's a drink to your first step towards adulthood!"
"What are you talking about stupid sennin, I can't drink, I'm underaged."
"Tsk tsk tsk, here's another advice for you, rules aren't always that absolute, sometimes you have to learn how to bend them when you have to. It all boils down to what you believe in."
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Naruto walked with his arms folded in front of his chest and thought about what Jiraiya said before. Usually, afternoons like these are spent practicing or sparring with Sasuke, or for the past week – spent beside Ka-no, let's not go there.
Naruto clenched his teeth as he remembered everything that brought him to his current predicament. He felt stupid for feeling the things he did at the moment and he hated the helplessness most of all.
"Naruto!"
Naruto jerked at the voice that called out his name, and spun around to see Iruka running up to him. He dropped his arms to his sides immediately but his fists clenched unconciously.
"Naruto! I've been trying to get your attention for the past minute! I was going to…hey, what's wrong?"
Iruka stopped what he was going to say when he noticed his former pupil refusing to meet his eyes, instead keeping his head downcast. He squatted down to better look at Naruto's face, but Naruto just jerked his head to the side. This surprised Iruka, who had never seen Naruto act this quiet and abnormal.
"Naruto….you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
Iruka reached a hand out to ruffle Naruto's hair, but when his hand had barely brushed Naruto's hair, the boy jerked back so violently that Iruka was left stunned with his hand still out reached. The reaction was so untypical and immediately got Iruka worried.
"Naruto?"
Naruto flinched at his voice as his thoughts warred against each other.
/It's Iruka, you know, the guy who saved you/
/Yeah, the same person who was touching Kakashi just before. Oh wait, more than touch./
/ So? Not like any one of them knew about how you felt, you're being unfair. /
/I can't help it/
/ It's because you act this way that no one treats you like an adult, have more control/
/I feel betrayed. /
/Oh please, just look at Iruka will you? You know you've hurt him with your reaction just now. /
Naruto contemplated running away and just leaving Iruka there, but he knew Iruka did not deserve the sort of treatment he was receiving from him at the moment, after all the things Iruka had done for him. The problem was his own.
That decided, Naruto forced himself to look up with a wide grin on his face as he yelled "Gotcha! Hahaha!"
"E-Eh?" Iruka stuttered uncertainly.
"I was pulling your leg sensei! See, I've been soooo boooored the entire day, and of course I'll know you were behind me. Just wanted to see your reaction, you know?" Naruto grinned and raised his arms behind his head.
"Why you…little…"Iruka bit his lip and raised his fist jerkily "I was really worried!"
"Nyahahaha! Baaaaaaaaaaka! Ne, sensei! I'm going to see Sasuke now, so I'll catch ya later kay?" Naruto jogged off for a bit before turning around to wave enthusiastically at Iruka with both hands.
"Sensei! Treat me to ramen next time!"
"As if I will after pulling that prank!"
"Thanks! I'll look forward to it!"
"LISTEN TO WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING!"
Naruto laughed loudly as he ran off. When he was sure he was out of Iruka's sight, he slowed down to a walk as the smile he kept on his face fell away.
Now, that wasn't so hard was it?
Naruto nodded to himself vigorously to assent the question, but at the same time, he suddenly felt very much like crying.
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It was nice, after all the fussing and the fawning from a certain pink-haired girl, to just lie down and bask in the pure silence of the late afternoon. The warm, slightly humid breeze that came in from the window beside the bed was a welcome, and lulled him gently towards sleep. That is, until a low, dead voice called out to from somewhere beyond the door.
"Saaasukeeee……."
Sasuke sat up tensed, with a shuriken ready in hand as he felt the barest shiver travel up his spine.
"Who's there!"
"Saaasukeeee……."
"Show yourself!"
A face slowly peered from the side of the doorframe.
"N-Naruto! What the….w-why…what the shit are you trying to pull!"
"Saaasukeeee……."
"S-Stop it! Stop calling my name like that!"
Naruto trudged slowly towards Sasuke with two of his hands slightly outstretched and truthfully, it was unnerving as hell even for the usually stoic boy, what with the glassy look in Naruto's eyes.
"What hell do you want! And stay away!" Sasuke was feeling more disturbed with every step Naruto advanced toward him.
"Hey! Are you even listening!" Sasuke yelled as Naruto stopped beside his bed and leaned forward…..
…to collapse on Sasuke's lap.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"
"Saaasukeeee……."
"Shut up!"
Naruto mumbled incoherently into Sasuke's lap but remained where he was. Strangely enough, Sasuke sensed that something was wrong with his team mate and did not shove Naruto away or plant a kunai or two into his brain – as would be the case under normal circumstances. Hell, the only bodily contact they ever willingly had were the punches and blows from their sparring sessions – which almost always involved pain in some way. But never like this, Naruto flopped across his lap and acting weirdly. The whole experience was pretty surreal, and Sasuke's brow twitched as he glared down at the blond head and desperately tried to come up with an appropriate response to the situation.
"Eh Sasuke…."
"...What."
"I think…..I think I may have fallen for Kakashi."
"You uh, no, wait…come again?"
"I said, I think I've fallen in lo-"
"Wait."
Naruto raised his head a little to glance at Sasuke - who was rapidly losing colour and clutching the front of his shirt like his stomach hurt. Naruto sat up quickly in alarm.
"Naruto, you know, I think my condition's not too great today, I may even be hearing things, it's best you le-"
"Hey! You were fine just before-"
"Yeah, I thought so too! Before you barged in sprouting nonsense-"
"N-Nonsense! I happen to be confiding something very personal-"
"GAHHH! What makes you think I make a good listening candidate for your gay confession-"
"Gay confession?" Naruto looked thoroughly scandalized "I'm not gay! I was just saying I fell in love with—"
"Kakashi! A guy, in case you haven't noticed. Have you lost your mind or what!"
Sasuke screamed and watched Naruto bite down on his lip as a misery twisted itself into his features, which made Sasuke feel oddly guilty. An awkward silence descended on the two of them after the tirade.
"So…you're gay."
Naruto shot him a murderous look that made Sasuke shrink back a little.
"I'm not."
"But you like Kakashi!" Sasuke said defensively.
"He's….he's a guy, but it's not like-"
"Wait." Sasuke startled "You were on my lap earlier, you're not into me-hey!"
Naruto shoved Sasuke violently.
"Hell no! How can you even think that!"
"…..I was just making sure."
Sasuke glared murderously as he rubbed his shoulder where Naruto shoved him.
"Good god, I can't believe I made the same mistake twice. I actually thought talking to Jiraiya had been a good idea, but that pervert wanted to make me his reference for branching into gay novels!"
"Yeah, well, if you're putting me together with him as far as your 'mistake' goes; I'll say you deserve it." Sasuke gritted out.
"Go to hell, Sasuke."
Silence reigned again as both boys fumed over what the other said, Naruto folding his arms indignantly in front of him and Sasuke stubbornly looking the other way. It was not until Sasuke noticed Naruto harshly rubbing his face from the corner of his eyes that he slowly turned to face Naruto again.
"You're not…crying are you?"
"Are you stupid? Of course not." Naruto snapped, but Sasuke could see new tracks of tears sliding down the other boy's face before hands reached up to hastily scrub them away. Oh, Naruto was definitely crying alright.
This revelation left Sasuke more shocked than he could imagine, after being in so many potentially fatal situations with the other boy and never once seeing him shed a single tear – to know that Naruto was affected enough to cry made Sasuke's conscience weigh heavily on him over his earlier words.
Unable to think of anything appropriate to say, and refusing to ignore his friend, Sasuke stiffly reached a hand out to rest on Naruto's head, patting it with and awkwardness that was evident from his whole body as well as the voice he had to swallow a few times before managing it out.
"…D-Don't cry."
But it only made Naruto cry harder.
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Author's Ramble:
Well, long long absence (a full freaking year if you want to be technical), and a pretty terrible chapter, I know. ;; Sorry, had this written ages back, but never got round to posting it cause I thought I'll finish it somewhere further along than this and have it….well….better written, or refined.
I apologise for those who were actually waiting for this (though there is always the possibility no one is, am not kidding myself here, really)
Naruto's come a long way since I updated a year ago, and amidst the time that passed, new obsessions came and went, and I must admit, I haven't been wholly loyal or consistent with my writing. Forgive the bad English, grammar and clichés with this chapter, and reviews will be so appreciated. This story is going the way I've planned it from the start, it's a matter of penning it down the way I want it, and actually penning it at all ;; I will see through it to the end if anyone cares enough for it to stick with me, suggestions and other criticisms will help it along so much as well nudge so do leave a review yeah? By the way, I'm writing a sequel to my other Naruto fic 'Never Meant' at the moment and should be posted shortly following this as well, so if you've got time, gimme some thoughts on that one as well yeah? Thanks for reading!