Because Cloud is Intelligent
Written by Secera and the FFVII characters
Standard disclaimer applies.
Note of the Authoress: This is my first time writing in script format, so I apologize in advance for any errors. Please review! Enjoy!!
***
Tifa: Okay. Explain to me again why we're here.
Cloud: Well, yesterday Cait Sith found this website called Fanfiction.net
Cid: and there were all kinds of $%#!*#& stories about us!
Tifa: So…
Cloud: We decided to write our own story. Because I'm intelligent!
RedXIII (who will be called 'Red' for the duration of this fic): So many people have misconceptions about us, I think it's best to set them straight.
Cloud: *sigh* They think I'm stupid.
Yuffie: *whisper* and they're not to far off the mark with that one…
Cloud: Hey!
Tifa: Okay! This sounds like fun! Let's start. I get to be narrator!
Rufus: I should be narrator.
Cid: Hey, who invited you?!
Rufus: Secera.
Cid: Damn you, Secera. *Glares up into space*
Secera: I'm not up there. Here, Vincent. *Hands big silver badge with the word 'Narrator' on it to Vincent.*
Vincent: I don't want it.
Tseng: Then give it to me.
Reno: Me!
Secera: The Narrator badge gives its holder absolute power for the duration of the fic.
Vincent: *snatches the badge back from Tseng* Absolute power, eh? I think I might actually enjoy this…
Sephiroth: I don't need a badge to have absolute power.
Cloud: Ack! You're here, too?!
Tifa: *sulking because she didn't get the Narrator badge* Let's start the story.
Vincent: One day there was
Yuffie: A whole pile of materia!
Vincent: and a
Cloud: powerful and intelligent bishounen was walking along and
Reno: fell off a cliff
Rufus: and died.
Aeris: But a beautiful Cetra woman saw him and brought him back to life and the powerful, intelligent bishounen fell
Sephiroth: into a pit filled with
Yuffie: materia!
Vincent: *is experimenting with his Narrator badge*
*BOOM*
Cait Sith: X_X
Vincent: Oops. Try that again…
*BANG*
Hojo: AARRRRRRRRGGGGGGG *on fire and running in circles*
Vincent: Heh heh…
*A pit of nothingness opens up below Hojo and he falls into it, screaming indiscernible profanities*
Vincent: ^_^
Tifa: Now that's frightening.
All: *stare*
Vincent: What?
Secera: *steals narrator badge* Okay, from now on we're writing this as equals. No single narrator. *Flings Narrator badge into the pit of nothingness*
All: *leap for badge, but no one catches it. They land in a pile on the ground as the pit of nothingness closes up*
Aeris: (on top of pile) Okay, let's continue. The powerful, intelligent bishounen who was in love with the beautiful
Cait Sith: blue m-phone
Yuffie: brought all the materia to
Barret: the pit of nothingness
Rufus: and dropped it in.
Yuffie: NOOOO!!!
Rufus: YESSS!!!
Yuffie: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Rufus and Tseng: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
Reno: *nudging Secera* I believe that all plot and characterization have officially flown out the window.
Secera: *looks up at giant window in the sky with sparkly stuff flying out of it* I know…
Yuffie: Well then! An attractive young female materia hunter bravely climbed into the pit of nothingness and retrieved the
Red: crackers.
Others: Huh?
Red: What? I'm hungry.
Barret: Crackers, Red?
Red: Yes, crackers!
Cid: okaaay, then…
Rude: But before the attractive young female materia hunter could eat the crackers, a handsome bald Turk with cool sunglasses pushed her into the
Cloud: powerful and intelligent bishounen?
Sephiroth: who in turn was pushed into the
Cid: Highwind!
Barret: So they all flew to
Aeris: the beautiful Cetra woman, and the powerful bishounen
Cloud: who was also very intelligent
Tifa: saw and instantly fell in love with a lovely young lady named
Reno: Tseng.
Tseng: Reno.
Elena: Rude.
Rude: …
Tifa: Anyway, the powerful bishounen fell in love with
Cait Sith: my moogle
Moogle: !!!!
Secera: Let's finish this.
Vincent: and they lived happily
Elena: in Tseng's office
Reno: What in Tseng's office?
Vincent: they lived happily.
Reno: No, I'm asking Elena. What in Tseng's office? *smirk*
Elena: Uhhh, er…*blush* um…they arranged filing cabinets?
Vincent: that's living happily?
Yuffie: And they found a stash of materia in Tseng's closet!
Tseng: *sigh*
Secera: We're supposed to be finishing this.
Cid: Fine. They $*&% lived &#@%&* happily ever after.
Cloud: I'm intelligent!
Owari!
Please review!! Reviews make me feel bright and happy and cheerful and inspired and etc and are directly related to how fast I post another chapter! Arigatou!
~Secera~