Disclaimer: I do not is any way own the series Beyblade or any of its characters featured in the fan fiction. I also do not own the song "To Rid the Disease", it belongs to Opeth.
Yay! Over 100 reviews! Thank you all so much.
Yes, I know, I'm taking ages to update my fics, but I'm really trying. This time, things were delayed because my motherboard fried. Stupid technology. Honestly not my fault, I swear!
Okay, now we get back on track with some more Kai angst and some very cool stuff happening here. Personally I love this chapter and I know I'm really going to enjoy this chapter. Hope you do too.
To Rid the Disease
~There's nobody here, there's nobody near~
"You feeling up for a little more fun?"
Kai glared. "Fuck off Tala." The redhead smirked and moved back a bit, still smirking. Kai's eyes followed him to the door, not moving himself, still being rather weak from his many beatings over the months, not to mention from what just occurred. He did not forget anything that happened between them, for it had happened more than once.
Tala stopped at the doorway and turned around, leaning lazily against the wooden frame. "Boris wants to see us. Seems we may have a new recruit."
Kai snorted. "Like I care." He turned away.
"You should, it's because of you he's to come here."
Kai whirled around, but by that time Tala had already left the room. What did he mean by that? Kai thought worriedly. What did I have to do with a new recruit? Kai frowned and stretched, wincing sharply as he did so. He got up out of his bed and walked over to his trunk of clothes, pulling out fresh ones. He looked at the scattered remnants of his torn and soiled cloths from last night and winced.
"At this rate I'll blow my entire bank account on a new wardrobe," he muttered darkly. What made him look away in shame was the fact that not all of his clothes were destroyed due to his beatings. Tala had been rather rough the previous night.
Kai sighed and moved into the bathroom, showering swiftly and readying himself for the day as quickly as possible.
As he stepped out into the hallway the emptiness seemed to echo around him, his footsteps sounded rather loud. His apprehension grew at this, he knew that today would not bring good news. But he would stay strong, he had to, he could show no weakness, not any more.
So Kai did as he always did, he gathered his cold shell around himself and cut himself off, ready to deal with whatever the Abbey threw at him.
At least he tried to prepare himself.
~I try not to care, dead eyes always stare~
I feel their eyes upon me as I enter the room. I sneered. In truth while they thought I was not worthy to be in here with them, they were not worthy to be in my presence. I'd make them remember that soon.
Biovolt's best. What a laugh, I could beat them all at the same time and they know it. Even Tala and the others are no match for me now. It's quite amazing what a few months of such intense training will do with me. Perhaps that's why they're starting to slacken off a bit in my discipline, their experiment is working again, now as dangerous as ever.
Pathetic.
I ignore them all and sit down, waiting for the reason for the meeting. Everyone else soon followed suit and then Boris stood before us. I pretty much ignored everything he said, I think he mentioned stronger training disciplines and something else then he finally started about the new recruit.
This caught my interest again but only vaguely. Then something he said really caught my attention.
"I do believe we owe this fortuitous find to Kai."
Eyes turned to me and I hid the confusion from them.
Me? What did I do? Suddenly I started to think about everything and barely managed to hide my worry. I couldn't show weakness now, not in front of everyone like this. I could see Tala's smirk and Bryan's cold gaze, Ian's curiosity and Spencer's confusion. I ignored them all, trapped in my own hidden whirl of emotions.
It couldn't be. I looked up as I heard Boris saying something else and a picture was suddenly projected onto the screen behind him and it was all I could do not to jump up in horror at my own actions.
I know they see it now, my concern. Boris is smirking at me while Tala grins openly at my distress, they all do, they stare at me with their cold eyes, not understanding anything I'm going through. How could they? They don't even know what friendship is, concern for another, altruism. The Abbey drains away all these humane things, but I struggled so long to just hold on, to defy them by being more human than they wanted.
Now it was coming back to haunt me, my struggle, my "humanity". Seeing how this causes so much distress, I know they will not hesitate in bringing Tyson in to "train". And as I watch the videos they shot of him, I wonder if he would really protest coming here any more.
Did I really do this to him? Did I make him so much like me?
~Let these matters be, don't trust what you see~
The room was rather nicely furnished, with dark wood furniture: desk, bookshelf, navy cushioned chairs. But it reeked of cold and misery. Hidden behind the elegant, aesthetically appealing exterior were secrets of pain and despair. Within that finely crafted desk was physical evidence of such things. Files upon files of former patients.
His was among them.
Tyson looked back out the door at Kenny and Max who were smiling encouragingly at him. Tyson turned back and rolled his eyes, closing the door firmly behind him. Why is it that whenever his friends said, 'We're only thinking of you' it usually ended him up in a psychiatrist's office?
"It's good to see you again Tyson."
Tyson raised an eyebrow as the lady in the room with him. "I would have thought the opposite true. If you never saw me again it would mean that your therapies worked." Tyson smirked and sat down in one of the chairs facing the desk. He ignored the look upon her face and stared, as he did every time he was in here, at the shining gold-plated name plaque.
Dr. K. Goodlen.
She seemed to recover fast, having gotten used to the way Tyson talked to her. "Perhaps then it's nice to see you personally Tyson, not necessarily back here. I rather like you."
"I know, everyone likes me, I am famous after all."
Tyson hated coming here, so he was antagonistic as possible. He refused to directly answer any questions about himself or about anything really. It was completely pointless, he knew he didn't need help, not the sort of help he was offered anyway. There was only one thing, one person rather, who could help him now.
Kai.
"Your friends tell me you've become rather reclusive again and often angry and ill-tempered." She was looking at a file she retrieved from her desk. It was rather familiar looking to Tyson.
"Could be." Tyson shrugged, staring at the books on the shelves. Useless, the lot of them.
"Are you hurting yourself again?"
"Everyone does things that hurt sometimes. The very act of living induces pain. Someone once told me that life is pain and living is enduring that pain."
"Would this be Kai?"
Tyson shrugged again. "I don't really remember." Tyson glared at her suddenly and clammed up again, not saying another word about anything, not just himself.
They didn't understand, none of them did. He had to help Kai, he was the only one who could, the only one who believed he could be saved. And he would do anything to save him, no matter what the personal cost. He knew what he was doing was right, he couldn't let them 'help' him, not now that he was so close to being able to save him.
~Take hold of your time, step into the line~
Darkness surrounded him, cold, unyielding darkness, thick with taint and despair. The empty corridors echoed it everywhere, spreading it through everything. He felt it sink into his very skin and infest him, yet he ignored it all, determined in his path. Fires of revenge and fury burned bright in his eyes, he had nothing but destruction on his mind. He knew they saw him, but he didn't care, it was long past time for him to be worrying about them, they should instead be worried about him: for he was going to make them scream.
He came to a junction and stopped, seeing the guards starting at his appearance and pointing guns at him. He smirked and his crimson eyes blazed again as he raised his deadly weapon and launched.
Screams were all he heard then as the flames started to gut the infested building from the inside.
And in the middle of it all, he laughed.
Fires parted before him, his passion fueling the destruction once again. He wanted this, desired their extermination. No one touched what was his, no one. Boris, Tala, his grandfather, none of them had the right to touch his team, they were safe, he made sure of it. He could not let them take Tyson.
It was as though the barrier holding Kai's emotions back had suddenly been overwhelmed by them. Seeing Tyson's face and knowing what Biovolt planned to do with him, Kai had to stop them. He didn't want anyone else becoming what he had, he didn't want anyone else, much less Tyson to be trapped as he had been. His fear and compliancy melted and his cage started to crack.
The Phoenix was freeing himself.
He saw them rush past in efforts to get away, and all that he saw managed to escape, but it made no real difference to Kai whether anyone lived or died. He just reveled in the sigh of the walls crumbling around him, at the feeling of the darkness being swallowed up, purified by the flame. At the freedom that was just within his grasp.
Hours it lasted and soon the flames died away, leaving behind nothing but charred rubble fit for nothing. He leaned down and picked up the blade still spinning even after all of this. His strength and passion had given it power enough for this. He walked through the rubble, surveying his destruction and smiled.
One less boil of evil on the surface of the world. For now anyway.
"Kai!"
His fiery eyes darted to the side to see a furious Boris approaching him. "Yes?" he replied in a calm voice, but he said no more as he was suddenly on the floor, due to Boris' hard punch.
Kai wiped away the blood from his lip and stood back up with a smile. "You don't like my actions?" he asked in a teasing voice. "Dranzer seems to think it's all rather pretty." Kai looked down fondly at the blue blade in his hands and Boris froze. He didn't know that Kai had done this on his own, he'd thought Kai had somehow gotten hold of Black Dranzer again. Kai grinned at his surprise. "You'll find that no one is severely hurt, Dranzer seems to have morals that I don't. I still think it's a far sight better than it was though, charred bodies or no this time."
Boris was shaking, though whether from fear or fury Kai knew not and cared not a whit. "Why?" he finally demanded.
Kai looked out at the people still stumbling around in confusion and fear. They looked so hopeless, lost, as though this one stronghold was more than just a place to live for them. Take something that powerful and important away from a person and they seem to lose even more. He couldn't allow that to happen to Tyson nor himself again.
"You will never come near any person under my protection," he said in an icy voice as sharp as a dagger. Boris shivered at this and just watched as Kai walked right past him, the snow that was beginning to fall from the sky melting before it even touched him.
The Phoenix was finally free again.
~There's innocence torn from it's maker
And stillborn the trust in you~
I never really saw it until now, what you did to me, but I think I see it now.
It wasn't that stupid psychiatrist who showed me, though she bored me to death with all of her theories about it. I still couldn't see, or to be more precise, I couldn't care enough to look. Max and Kenny tried to show me, and maybe I saw a flash of the jerk I was being, but the guilt passed quickly once I immersed myself in training.
It's amazing how blind I was.
But no, not even my best friends couldn't show me what I truly was. I doubt that Rei could have either, if he was here. Of course if he had been, things might not have gotten so bad. Though I can't truly blame him.
However, I could blame you, but I won't, even though I want to so badly now. But you know that I could never hate you. I start to wonder why it is that I can't hate you. Essentially, you are the cause for this, even if I did take that inevitable first step by myself.
You started this game, with your actions.
I had faith in you, I trusted in you, in your heart, in your ability to love. I found out that was a mistake.
I hate what you've done to me, what you've reduced me to.
I hate what I've done to myself.
I hate what I've done to others.
I hate that everything is so messed up.
But I don't hate you. I don't have trust in you, I don't have faith in you, but I still love you, for some reason even I can't fathom. Yet I know things will never be all right again because of you.
Something happened to me today. I met a kid as I was walking home from the shrink's office. He recognized me and was so excited. He couldn't have been more than seven. He asked for my autograph and told me all about how I was his hero and he wanted to grow up to be just like me.
I almost told him to beat it, then what he said sunk in. I told him he didn't want to be like me, because I didn't want anyone be like me, least of all myself. That was the first time I really actually thought about it.
I had no friends, not any more, I threw away a chance at happiness and real love with Rei, I refused to let myself heal, I was seeing a psychiatrist, I hadn't smiled in months, I was coming close to being anorexic again, I never took care of myself and here this kid still looked up to me.
Just like I still looked up to you Kai, even after everything.
I'm not who I was, and I don't know how to get back to who I was. Is this what it felt like for you? This emptiness, this helplessness? I think I finally understand you Kai, and I really don't want to.
I tried to save you and only damned myself. I wonder, is there any way out for either of us now?
~This failure has made the creator
So would you tell him what to do~
He was in the field again, as he was the last time he had watched the ashes of the Abbey cool from falling snow. This time was different however.
He reached up a hand to catch the falling flakes of white and saw them melt perhaps a hair's breadth above his skin. No snow fell upon him this time, it no longer covered him, trapped him, encased him in hard merciless ice.
He really was free.
Kai turned his head as he heard a faint scuffing noise nearby. Someone was approaching him. Tala stopped a few metres away, staring at Kai, waiting for him to acknowledge his presence. Kai glanced over once.
"Get lost," Tala growled coldly, his fury evident in the slight wavering of his voice. Kai smirked at him.
"You don't think my art is pretty?" he asked innocently.
Tala glared and reached out furiously to grab him and hoist him up so they were nose to nose. "Get the fuck out of here Kai, before I kill you. You are no longer welcome among us."
"Too strange even for all of you, am I?" Kai whispered, his eyes glittering with amusement. He tilted his head to the side and studied Tala with a slight pout. "What's wrong? I'm not worth the hassle any more? And here I thought you really liked me." Kai laughed, the sound intensifying as Tala shook with rage. Even after the redhead's fist connected with his face, he still chuckled.
Tala continued to glare at him, his eyes narrow slits. "You had best start moving now Kai," he warned coldly.
Kai ignored him, staring intently at Tala's face. The other boy started to get rather unnerved by the calm gaze. When Kai reached out a milky hand to trail gently down his cheek, Tala flinched back. Kai smirked at the action before striking as quick as a viper and grabbing Tala's arm, twisting it around so Tala was painfully helpless in his grasp. He smirked as he heard Tala's short ragged breaths of pain and felt him shaking.
"Maybe I don't want to go just yet," he whispered in a silky, dangerous voice. His fingers trailed down Tala's throat, causing more shivers. "I do believe we have some unfinished business." The teasing hand trailed over Tala's thin night shirt and down to the waistband of his pants. Tala's breath hitched, both in fear and anticipation as Kai slowly traced circles over his skin.
Tala shook his head, opening his mouth a few times before he was able to say, in a faint voice, "No, we have nothing more." Kai could see his eyes were wide and he avoided looking at Kai. The hand slowly crept lower.
"Really? I could have sworn ..." Kai shrugged and released him, causing him to stumble. Tala breathed a sigh of relief once he was free. Kai watched him amusedly, knowing the effect he had on the boy. He stepped towards him again. "Oh yeah, I remember now." He grabbed Tala's hair, making him yelp, and pulled him up with a smirk. "Stay away from my team."
Tala stared at him, seeing the intensity of his gaze and nodded. "You come near him," Kai warned, "and I'll do worse than kill you." Still holding Tala in a tight unwavering grip, Kai kissed him fiercely, delighting in the way Tala shrank back from him. His fear was intoxicating. He never noticed when blood began to flow from his harsh actions, his or Tala's, it didn't matter, but when he pulled back, he saw the terror in the other's eyes and smirked. He licked the crimson droplets from his lips and said, "I always keep my promises Tala, never forget that."
Tala sunk to the cold ground as Kai released him and walked away. He took no notice of the pain he felt in his head, or in his mouth from the damage done by Kai's teeth. He sat in the snow shivering not from cold but from a deep true fear that he hadn't felt in a long time. He didn't dare move until a long time after Kai had vanished.
He gingerly raised a trembling hand to his mouth and wiped at the liquid sliding down his chin.
"Play with fire, be ready to get burned," he whispered, holding himself tightly as he sat, not caring that he was smearing blood on his shirt.
It was a long time before he felt something warm wrap around him. He didn't need to look around to see that Bryan was sitting next to him, having just put a blanket over his shoulders.
"Was the sex really worth it?" Bryan asked him harshly after a while.
Tala didn't know whether to punch him until he bled or break down and cry, so he did nothing, his eyes hollow and his face even paler than usual. Bryan watched him with growing fear. Kai had really scared the shit out of him, and it took a lot for Tala to feel even the slightest twinge of apprehension, to say nothing of this immobilizing terror. Bryan swallowed nervously.
The Phoenix had risen again, his fires burning bright and bloody with vengeance.
~Leave your mark upon the head of someone~
Moscow hadn't changed that much since his last visit over a year ago. Still as cold as ever, the same buildings and streets and the same bustling people found in cities all over the world.
Though admittedly, Rei hadn't seen much of the airport last time he was here, so it was almost like stepping off the plane for a new adventure in a brand new place where he knew nothing of the culture or language. At least the last was true, he still couldn't speak Russian and though he knew some history, Russian culture wasn't one of his strong points. It had held too many dark memories for him to want to pay too much attention to it.
Oliver wanted to lend him the use of his private jet to get to Moscow, but Rei told him no. The Frenchman had done so much for him already, letting him visit and being so hospitable to him. Especially considering the depressing emotional state he was in at the beginning of his visit. But he and Enrique had done their best to get him out of his moods and over the time he'd stayed at Oliver's mansion, he'd learned to have fun again and laugh. It was a sign of how bad things were before if he'd forgotten that.
But taking the jet would be too much for Rei, he felt uncomfortable with things like that, so he booked a ticket with a commercial airline from France to China with a stop-over in Moscow for two nights.
It's a good thing it's only for two nights, I'm not sure if I could stand being here longer than that. Rei looked around and shivered in remembrance. He followed the instructions and managed to get to the airport hotel without drama, taking his room.
Once inside Rei didn't bother unpacking anything, just his toiletries bag which he stored in the bathroom then he sat down, looking at his watch. He frowned, wondering why it said noon when it was dark outside. Then he remembered he hadn't set his watch to local time yet. Rei grinned sheepishly and did that. He got up again and turned on the television in the room and wondered if they had cable, or something that used subtitles he could actually read.
Unfortunately they didn't have anything like that, so Rei flicked through the channels, watching the pictures, fighting back a yawn. It still seemed a bit early for sleep to him. But suddenly sleep was the last thing on his mind as he caught a glimpse of what was probably a local news station.
Rei stared at the images he saw on the screen and knew he was paling. Why shouldn't he? Seeing images of Balkov Abbey again brought back horrific memories from the World Championships and from that, harsh memories of more recent months with his team.
Even so, seeing what had become of the imposing prison made him shiver. What could have caused a fire like that? He watched curiously as the camera zoomed in on Boris and some of the milling children and guards. Suddenly Rei gasped as the zooming stopped as they began to interview someone.
In the background he could clearly see a redheaded figured sitting on the ground, holding himself tightly as if in serious pain. Beside him was a lavender haired boy Rei still had nightmares about. What was truly frightening, though, was the fact that Bryan appeared to be comforting Tala. Rei knew the fiery captain of the Demolition Boys would never break down so publicly, especially not about something like this, so what could have caused such a severe reaction to the situation?
Rei studied everyone he saw on the screen as the camera moved in on them. Ian and Spencer were with Boris as he gave out orders. They looked stunned, and perhaps even a little ... fearful? No, that couldn't have been right. But that's what it looked like to Rei. The camera didn't show Tala again, but Rei saw Bryan stalk by, talking frantically to Boris. Rei had never heard of the cold blader losing his cool like that, even in their match he was ruthless and seemingly in control until towards the end. Yet here he was looking rather upset about something. And Boris himself ... he was furious, though the look in his dark eyes made Rei shiver.
Something had gone down, something that had them all on edge for some reason. But what could it have been? What or who could have destroyed the Abbey with an obviously very huge fire and have caused such reactions in its inhabitants?
It wasn't until the station went back to the studio that Rei's eyes widened as he figured things out.
"Kai?"
~Who'll cry for his state, we know it's too late~
Kenny looked around curiously. He was in Tyson's bathroom, checking things out to make sure nothing bad was happening. He and Max had come over a few times to check up on him, despite the frosty reception, but this time, Tyson greeted them with hesitant smiles. Something had happened, and Kenny was a bit more suspicious about it than Max.
The cheerful boy was just so happy to see some semblance of the old Tyson back that he wasn't willing to question why he was as he was before. But Kenny feared the worst.
Okay, so Tyson was the kind of guy who needed something pretty big to show him that he was being stubborn and unreasonable, but Kenny wanted to find out what exactly had prodded such a change in him. He actually seemed to be getting better. Perhaps it was a lie, perhaps not, it had gone on for too long for them to tell when Tyson was acting or not. Rei might have known, but he wasn't here with them to help out. Kenny thought that may have actually added to the problem. Rei seemed like the stabilizer in Tyson's life for a while there.
Still, maybe he was just being overly neurotic and paranoid about everything. Tyson did seem to be acting more like himself this visit and he almost appeared regretful about something. Neither of them had been able to do more than talk about superficial things with him, but it was a start. Maybe he'd finally open back up to them again.
Maybe.
Kenny looked around once more and nodded in satisfaction. Not a trace of blood, which meant either of two things: that Tyson was no longer harming himself or that he was extremely good at hiding it. He hoped that it was the former.
Kenny walked back into the room where Tyson and Max sat.
Okay, so things weren't totally back to normal, but they appeared better. The silence was tinged with awkwardness, but Max was still smiling cheerfully and Tyson didn't appear to be in one of his sullen silences.
"Hey Chief," Max smiled at him and Tyson raised his head.
"Nothing suspicious I presume," Tyson said in a low voice as Kenny sat down. Kenny glanced at him, but Tyson wasn't even looking at him any more, instead watching Max with an interested gaze as the boy continued talking excitedly.
Kenny watched him throughout the rest of their visit. He was still afraid that Tyson was just acting for their benefit, and that he was really still unstable. He wouldn't have been surprised if that was the case. Tyson had become quite good at hiding many things.
But Kenny wouldn't really know what was going on with Tyson until it was too late. So he watched, trying as hard as he could to pick up hints, trying to stop, as best he could, his friend's slow slide into darkness. Hoping against all hope that it wasn't too late.
But doubts always seemed to creep in.
~I turn round to see what was meant to be~
Rei glanced around half-heartedly as he walked through the streets of Moscow. As he noticed the day before, things really hadn't changed at all, considering he could still find his way around, and he was too preoccupied with his thoughts to care that much.
Why now? Rei hardly noticed anyone he passed on the streets. Two people turned as he walked by, almost knocking them down as he thought, but seeing his blank look, they decided to just leave him alone. Why did he have to come back now?
Rei looked up and frowned, realising he'd walked further than he'd intended to. He was close to the parks he'd visited when first coming here to Russia. He glanced at his watch and shrugged, figuring he might as well go and walk around for a bit more before heading back to his hotel.
The park was rather peaceful. He could hear the shouts in the near distance of the amateur bladers as they battled it out at the dishes. That was the same all around the world. But it brought back a few wistful feelings in Rei as he listened. The memories of his team and the happy times they had were brought to the forefront of his mind and quickly following them were the darker memories that dogged them. They coincided with his recent thoughts and his countenance once again turned dark.
I was just starting to be happy again, not thinking about anything like this, then all of a sudden that news report came on and everything came crashing back. I guess I really couldn't run from everything forever. But did I have to stop now?
Rei ran head-first into someone. He was about to apologise when his breath caught.
Crimson eyes were wide, very startled, both from the crash and from who he crashed into. Rei stared up at his former team captain, his thoughts a whirlwind of shock that soon settled into anger.
Kai hadn't been looking where he was going, his mind concerned only with his emotions, when he ran into someone. Seeing Rei before him, he was stunned. He opened his mouth to speak. "Rei," he breathed just before his former teammate pulled back his arm and punched him in the mouth.
"You bastard," Rei spat as he watched Kai stumble back.
Kai wiped his mouth and looked at the furious boy before him. Guess I've still not been forgiven for everything. "I suppose I deserved that," Kai commented. But as Rei pulled back for another hit, Kai glared and said, "But I doubt I'll be as off-guard as that again." He calmly caught Rei's hand in his own and pulled the boy closer, twisting him around, causing Rei to hiss in pain. "Don't do that again Rei."
"Let me go and I'll think about it."
Kai shrugged and released him. "It's nice to see you again," he commented, not sure whether he actually meant it or not.
Rei massaged his wrist where Kai had held it tight, glaring slightly. "I could have gone on with the rest of my life quite happily without meeting up with you again."
Kai shook his head in amusement seeing Rei's emotions flitting across his face. "You're still pissed that I got to him first."
Rei's eyes widened then they narrowed sharply in a glare. "Don't you talk about him," he growled. Kai chuckled seeing his reaction, which made Rei's anger rise even further.
"Why not? That situation is that cause of all this tension is it not?" Kai moved over and sat down on a cold bench, gesturing that Rei sit beside him. Rei didn't move at first and Kai shrugged, leaning back and looking rather relaxed. "I take it that you didn't exactly come here for me, considering how surprised you were to run into me here."
"Not exactly," Rei muttered, eyeing Kai warily. There was something different about the older boy, something he couldn't quite place about him. It was Kai, but he seemed to be more than he was before, brighter almost. Something had happened to him.
Kai chuckled. "You were the last person I would expect to run away, but then, when I think about it, that's all you really have done, run away from things. You've become quite good at running from your problems and hiding things when you have to, haven't you Rei? Hasn't it been easier to pretend that nothing ever happened with us, that you never knew me, or the rest of the team? Wasn't it easier to run away from Tyson and your feelings than try to help him? To try and help yourself?"
Rei stepped towards him angrily. "Don't you dare! You don't know what he went through, what we all went through or what you did to him. How dare you even suggest that I didn't try to help!"
"If you'd tried as best you could have, you would be with him right now, sitting quite contently with him in your arms instead of here, in the cold, arguing with me, trying to get these bitter feelings off your chest." Kai leaned forward and stared at him intently, letting this sink in. "But you ran, because it got too hard for you, didn't you Rei?"
"I ..." Rei shook his head. "No, he refused to let you go."
Kai shrugged, leaning back again. "I admire his loyalty, however foolishly misplaced. Still, you should have done more."
Rei glared at him. "I should have done more? How dare you say something like that Kai! You ran from us, you drove him to the very brink of insanity. Do you have any idea what you did to him?"
"More than anyone else will ever know," Kai whispered. Rei stared at him, confused. Kai seemed lost in thought, a pained look on his features. That look made Rei stop and think about things for a moment. He finally took a seat beside Kai.
"Kai?" The other boy looked over at him. "What do you know?"
Kai shrugged. "Same as you I suppose. Tyson has become ..." He looked away, not wanting to think about it. The guilt still overwhelmed him at times.
There was a long silence where the two just simply watched snow slowly drifting down to fall over the park. They could still hear the shouts of the young bladers nearby.
"He loved you," Rei whispered eventually.
"I know. It was rather foolish of him."
"He wanted to save you." Rei laughed bitterly. "That thought consumed him. He told me about what you almost did. Do you know what he said? He told me he wished you'd just gone ahead and raped him, because at least then he could have moved on." Rei stared at Kai. "So why didn't you?"
Kai didn't answer, he just stared at the ground before them as it was slowly covered in white. Rei studied him, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He couldn't ...
"I saw the news report on the Abbey," Rei told him after a while, unnerved by the silence and Kai's lack of reply. The thought that Tyson might have been right about Kai stunned him too much to think about, so he thought about something else. "That was you."
"Yes."
"Why did you do it?"
Kai thought about his answer for a long time. "You say Tyson tried to save me. I know that, but to have saved me, he had to know me, so that's what he did." Kai refused to meet Rei's accusing gaze. "He got trapped in becoming like me. He was caught in the same trap that caught me so long ago." Kai glanced over at Rei and Rei froze, seeing the intense emotions burning inside those crimson orbs. "No one touches what is mine," Kai told him in a harsh voice.
It was then that Rei truly realised what it was about Kai that had changed. He was more ... well open wasn't the right word, but he was more revealed, Rei could see more of what he truly was than he could before. Right now he saw pain and guilt and anger. But there was also something so intense and personal that made Rei look away, tears coming to his eyes.
Kai loved Tyson.
~Faint movement release to rid the disease~
I shiver as I look around, but it's from more than the cold I feel outside. There's a chill inside too, a rather unpleasant one. I think it's called shame, maybe with a bit of guilt in there too. Add in a dash of hopelessness leave to cool after the simmering boil of anger and you've created me as I stand right now.
I haven't been seen this place for a while, and despite the drastic change in appearance, I still don't feel very comfortable being here. But I'm not here for me. I'm here for Kai.
He's wandering the ruins of the Abbey, just looking around, almost lost in his memories it seems. There's no one here, just me, but I still get the feeling that there's something here beyond what I can see. But then, perhaps it's just because I'm here with him, knowing what I do. It's as though there's two Kai's here: the one of my thoughts and memories, the one who split us all up, the one who destroyed Tyson and left him for nothing. The one I can't find it in my heart to ever forgive.
The other stands before me now, perhaps the "true" Kai, the one I never saw, the one none of us saw. Except Tyson.
This is the Kai who lay beneath the barriers, the one we caught glimpses of but never saw more than that, the determined, passionate teammate, the one who sometimes cared for us on the rarest of occasions. The one who hid from us, never coming too close lest we draw him out and leave him vulnerable. The one Tyson was determined to see, the one he tried so desperately to bring forth. The one who held back from hurting Tyson too much.
I think it really tore him up to know what happened to Tyson, though he never would have shown it, or admitted anything like that. Maybe he thought he was helping Tyson by leaving him. And perhaps he did for a little while. But even Tyson can only take so much.
I really don't know what to think now. I can't forgive him for what he did, but I'm starting to understand, which scares me more than anything. I thought I hated him, but I can't. I want to hate him, but it seems too cruel to do something like that.
I think I see what Tyson saw, the boy trapped beneath the stone exterior. This is who Tyson loves, this is who Tyson saved. This is who will save him in return.
And who am I to Tyson now?
Nothing but a friend, as I always was. But this time, I won't leave him alone.
AN: Hmm, so what did everyone think? I sort of feel sorry for Rei. I was going to make things slightly different with him, but I think this is better and more suited to his character than what I had planned before.
So, next chapter ... *grin* wait and see. Lots of fun stuff. I have just two more chapters for this story. I'm sorry, but there will be no more and no sequel after that, remember this was originally a one-shot.
Well, anyways, until next time.