Authors notes: Completely goofy story in which Kirk just can't get a word in! I hope you enjoy it.
The day Kirk
couldn't get one word in
Written By: Q (On the bridge Kirk sits down in his Captain seat with a silly smirk on his face. Suddenly an unidentified enemy vessel comes into view.)
KIRK: Spock!
SPOCK: Yes Captain?
KIRK: Is that a.................
KIRK:...........
SPOCK: A what, Captain?
KIRK: Don't interrupt!
SPOCK: Sorry, it was illogical and thoughtless of me.
KIRK: Spock!
SPOCK: Yes, Captain?
KIRK: Don't interrupt!!
SPOCK: Sir, you completed my name.
KIRK: No, no, I wasn't calling you to answer. Spock was the first word of the sentence. It was sort of a noun of direct address. And as I was just going to get on with it you rudely interrupted so give me a chance to talk!
SPOCK: Yes sir.
KIRK: Silence!
SPOCK: (Opens his mouth then thinks the better of it, and gives a quirk of the eyebrow.)
KIRK: Spock........
KIRK: ...............
CHEKOV: (Yawns)
KIRK: Chekov there will...be..no..yawning...on my ship. is that understood?
CHEKOV: Yes, sir.
KIRK: Spock...
SPOCK: Yes, Captain.
KIRK: Spock!
SPOCK: Yes, Captain.
KIRK: Don't say 'yes Captain' say...
SPOCK: Say what, Sir.
KIRK: Spock who is in command?
SPOCK: Uh, sir...
KIRK: No let me hear it.
SPOCK: You are, Sir.
(Outside ship slowly approaches)
KIRK: Thank you...I am CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP AND I AM IN CHARGE!!! RIGHT!!
Spock: It would appear so.
KIRK: So stop interrupting. Now where....was I? Ah-hem. Ah yes, you should say...
UHURA: Ship hailing, sir.
KIRK: Ah, I get it mutiny!
SPOCK: Mutiny?
UHURA: Mutiny?
KIRK:Mutiny!
SCOTTY: Just because your talking slower than frozen molasses!
KIRK: (Shoots Scotty an evil glare.)
UHURA: Sir, ship is hailing and is now on our screen.
SCOTTY: Kahn!
CHEKOV Kahn!
KIRK: KAAAAAAAHHHHHHHNNNN!
KAHN: Hand your ship over to me or I shall...
KIRK: Why is it that I get no respect?
KAHN: wipe y-...wha...what....huh?
KIRK: Every time I try to talk somebody...
KIRK:..............
KAHN: Somebody what?
KIRK: Interrupts me!
KAHN: Oh, sorry.
SPOCK: As we all our Captain.
THE CREW: Yes.
KIRK: Thank you. No more interruptions?
THE CREW: Nope.
KIRK: Okay. Ah-hem. KAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNNNN! What in the...
DALEK: Exterminate!
KIRK: Huh?
DALEK: Exterminate!
KIRK: What are you?
SPOCK: It would appear to be a dalek. A creature from a dimension with the hyperspace theorem known as Doctor Who.
KIRK: Well?
SPOCK: Well, what?
KIRK: What is the Doctor's name?
SPOCK: Who.
KIRK: The doctor from your story.
SPOCK: Yes.
KIRK: So what's his name?
SPOCK: No it's not.
KIRK: Huh?
SPOCK: What is not his name. Who is.
KIRK: What are you talking about, Spock?
SPOCK: This Doctor.
KIRK: Yes.
SPOCK: You wanted to know his name.
KIRK: Yes exactly so tell me his name.
SPOCK: Who.
KIRK: The doctor.
SPOCK: Doctor Who.
KIRK: The one from your story!
SPOCK: Sir that's his name.
KIRK: What's his name?
SPOCK: No who.
KIRK: What?
SPOCK: No, Who.
KIRK: Spock who is this Doctor.
SPOCK: Exactly.
KIRK: Spock when we see the show with this creature, who fights him?
SPOCK: Precisely.
KIRK: Precisely?
SPOCK: Precisely.
KIRK: So when we watch the show Precisely fight the Dalek.
SPOCK: No, who fights it.
KIRK: Precisely.
SPOCK: Precisely, yes say it that way
KIRK: That's what I said!
SPOCK: No you didn't.
KIRK: I said when your watching the show precisely fights the Dalek.
SPOCK: No it's who.
KIRK: Precisely!
SPOCK: Go ahead, say it that way.
KIRK: That's what I said!! I said when you watch the show-
SPOCK: ...who fights the Dalek.
KIRK: He'd better fight him!
DALEK: Exterminate.
KIRK: Somebody get that goofy crossover off of my bridge.
SCOTTY: Sir, they hate it when you do this. (Tears off eye stalk)
DALEK: I cannot see! Malfunction! Malfunction.
SCOTTY: They hate it when you do this. (Pulls some wires)
DALEK: (Spinning wildly) Emergency! Emergency!
SCOTTY: And they really hate it when you do this! (Grabs Dalek and pushes it off of the bridge while it continues its malfunction speech)
KIRK: Riggghhhtt.....
KAHN: Kirk, you will be destroyed.
KIRK: Stop interrupting I....
(On the screen on Kahn's ship we see Scotty come in the door with a mangled torn-up wrecked Dalek)
SCOTTY: Oh, and they hate it so much when you do this! (Twists the plunger)
DALEK: Malfunction! Malfunction! (Begins shooting wildly)
KAHN: Nooooooo!
(Kahn's controls are hit by the blasts and suddenly everything goes dark.)
SCOTTY: And they start to despise you when you do this! (Crack, slam) And it really gets to them when you do this!
KIRK: I've seen enough. Sulu take us out.
(We here triumphant music as the Enterprise speeds away...)
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Authors notes: Completely goofy story in which Kirk just can't get a word in! I hope you enjoy it.
The day Kirk
couldn't get one word in
Written By: Q
(On the bridge Kirk sits down in his Captain seat with a silly smirk on his face. Suddenly an unidentified enemy vessel comes into view.)
KIRK: Spock!
SPOCK: Yes Captain?
KIRK: Is that a.................
KIRK:...........
SPOCK: A what, Captain?
KIRK: Don't interrupt!
SPOCK: Sorry, it was illogical and thoughtless of me.
KIRK: Spock!
SPOCK: Yes, Captain?
KIRK: Don't interrupt!!
SPOCK: Sir, you completed my name.
KIRK: No, no, I wasn't calling you to answer. Spock was the first word of the sentence. It was sort of a noun of direct address. And as I was just going to get on with it you rudely interrupted so give me a chance to talk!
SPOCK: Yes sir.
KIRK: Silence!
SPOCK: (Opens his mouth then thinks the better of it, and gives a quirk of the eyebrow.)
KIRK: Spock........
KIRK: ...............
CHEKOV: (Yawns)
KIRK: Chekov there will...be..no..yawning...on my ship. is that understood?
CHEKOV: Yes, sir.
KIRK: Spock...
SPOCK: Yes, Captain.
KIRK: Spock!
SPOCK: Yes, Captain.
KIRK: Don't say 'yes Captain' say...
SPOCK: Say what, Sir.
KIRK: Spock who is in command?
SPOCK: Uh, sir...
KIRK: No let me hear it.
SPOCK: You are, Sir.
(Outside ship slowly approaches)
KIRK: Thank you...I am CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP AND I AM IN CHARGE!!! RIGHT!!
Spock: It would appear so.
KIRK: So stop interrupting. Now where....was I? Ah-hem. Ah yes, you should say...
UHURA: Ship hailing, sir.
KIRK: Ah, I get it mutiny!
SPOCK: Mutiny?
UHURA: Mutiny?
KIRK:Mutiny!
SCOTTY: Just because your talking slower than frozen molasses!
KIRK: (Shoots Scotty an evil glare.)
UHURA: Sir, ship is hailing and is now on our screen.
SCOTTY: Kahn!
CHEKOV Kahn!
KIRK: KAAAAAAAHHHHHHHNNNN!
KAHN: Hand your ship over to me or I shall...
KIRK: Why is it that I get no respect?
KAHN: wipe y-...wha...what....huh?
KIRK: Every time I try to talk somebody...
KIRK:..............
KAHN: Somebody what?
KIRK: Interrupts me!
KAHN: Oh, sorry.
SPOCK: As we all our Captain.
THE CREW: Yes.
KIRK: Thank you. No more interruptions?
THE CREW: Nope.
KIRK: Okay. Ah-hem. KAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNNNN! What in the...
DALEK: Exterminate!
KIRK: Huh?
DALEK: Exterminate!
KIRK: What are you?
SPOCK: It would appear to be a dalek. A creature from a dimension with the hyperspace theorem known as Doctor Who.
KIRK: Well?
SPOCK: Well, what?
KIRK: What is the Doctor's name?
SPOCK: Who.
KIRK: The doctor from your story.
SPOCK: Yes.
KIRK: So what's his name?
SPOCK: No it's not.
KIRK: Huh?
SPOCK: What is not his name. Who is.
KIRK: What are you talking about, Spock?
SPOCK: This Doctor.
KIRK: Yes.
SPOCK: You wanted to know his name.
KIRK: Yes exactly so tell me his name.
SPOCK: Who.
KIRK: The doctor.
SPOCK: Doctor Who.
KIRK: The one from your story!
SPOCK: Sir that's his name.
KIRK: What's his name?
SPOCK: No who.
KIRK: What?
SPOCK: No, Who.
KIRK: Spock who is this Doctor.
SPOCK: Exactly.
KIRK: Spock when we see the show with this creature, who fights him?
SPOCK: Precisely.
KIRK: Precisely?
SPOCK: Precisely.
KIRK: So when we watch the show Precisely fight the Dalek.
SPOCK: No, who fights it.
KIRK: Precisely.
SPOCK: Precisely, yes say it that way
KIRK: That's what I said!
SPOCK: No you didn't.
KIRK: I said when your watching the show precisely fights the Dalek.
SPOCK: No it's who.
KIRK: Precisely!
SPOCK: Go ahead, say it that way.
KIRK: That's what I said!! I said when you watch the show-
SPOCK: ...who fights the Dalek.
KIRK: He'd better fight him!
DALEK: Exterminate.
KIRK: Somebody get that goofy crossover off of my bridge.
SCOTTY: Sir, they hate it when you do this. (Tears off eye stalk)
DALEK: I cannot see! Malfunction! Malfunction.
SCOTTY: They hate it when you do this. (Pulls some wires)
DALEK: (Spinning wildly) Emergency! Emergency!
SCOTTY: And they really hate it when you do this! (Grabs Dalek and pushes it off of the bridge while it continues its malfunction speech)
KIRK: Riggghhhtt.....
KAHN: Kirk, you will be destroyed.
KIRK: Stop interrupting I....
(On the screen on Kahn's ship we see Scotty come in the door with a mangled torn-up wrecked Dalek)
SCOTTY: Oh, and they hate it so much when you do this! (Twists the plunger)
DALEK: Malfunction! Malfunction! (Begins shooting wildly)
KAHN: Nooooooo!
(Kahn's controls are hit by the blasts and suddenly everything goes dark.)
SCOTTY: And they start to despise you when you do this! (Crack, slam) And it really gets to them when you do this!
KIRK: I've seen enough. Sulu take us out.
(We here triumphant music as the Enterprise speeds away...)
(On the bridge Kirk sits down in his Captain seat with a silly smirk on his face. Suddenly an unidentified enemy vessel comes into view.)
KIRK: Spock!
SPOCK: Yes Captain?
KIRK: Is that a.................
KIRK:...........
SPOCK: A what, Captain?
KIRK: Don't interrupt!
SPOCK: Sorry, it was illogical and thoughtless of me.
KIRK: Spock!
SPOCK: Yes, Captain?
KIRK: Don't interrupt!!
SPOCK: Sir, you completed my name.
KIRK: No, no, I wasn't calling you to answer. Spock was the first word of the sentence. It was sort of a noun of direct address. And as I was just going to get on with it you rudely interrupted so give me a chance to talk!
SPOCK: Yes sir.
KIRK: Silence!
SPOCK: (Opens his mouth then thinks the better of it, and gives a quirk of the eyebrow.)
KIRK: Spock........
KIRK: ...............
CHEKOV: (Yawns)
KIRK: Chekov there will...be..no..yawning...on my ship. is that understood?
CHEKOV: Yes, sir.
KIRK: Spock...
SPOCK: Yes, Captain.
KIRK: Spock!
SPOCK: Yes, Captain.
KIRK: Don't say 'yes Captain' say...
SPOCK: Say what, Sir.
KIRK: Spock who is in command?
SPOCK: Uh, sir...
KIRK: No let me hear it.
SPOCK: You are, Sir.
(Outside ship slowly approaches)
KIRK: Thank you...I am CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP AND I AM IN CHARGE!!! RIGHT!!
Spock: It would appear so.
KIRK: So stop interrupting. Now where....was I? Ah-hem. Ah yes, you should say...
UHURA: Ship hailing, sir.
KIRK: Ah, I get it mutiny!
SPOCK: Mutiny?
UHURA: Mutiny?
KIRK:Mutiny!
SCOTTY: Just because your talking slower than frozen molasses!
KIRK: (Shoots Scotty an evil glare.)
UHURA: Sir, ship is hailing and is now on our screen.
SCOTTY: Kahn!
CHEKOV Kahn!
KIRK: KAAAAAAAHHHHHHHNNNN!
KAHN: Hand your ship over to me or I shall...
KIRK: Why is it that I get no respect?
KAHN: wipe y-...wha...what....huh?
KIRK: Every time I try to talk somebody...
KIRK:..............
KAHN: Somebody what?
KIRK: Interrupts me!
KAHN: Oh, sorry.
SPOCK: As we all our Captain.
THE CREW: Yes.
KIRK: Thank you. No more interruptions?
THE CREW: Nope.
KIRK: Okay. Ah-hem. KAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNNNN! What in the...
DALEK: Exterminate!
KIRK: Huh?
DALEK: Exterminate!
KIRK: What are you?
SPOCK: It would appear to be a dalek. A creature from a dimension with the hyperspace theorem known as Doctor Who.
KIRK: Well?
SPOCK: Well, what?
KIRK: What is the Doctor's name?
SPOCK: Who.
KIRK: The doctor from your story.
SPOCK: Yes.
KIRK: So what's his name?
SPOCK: No it's not.
KIRK: Huh?
SPOCK: What is not his name. Who is.
KIRK: What are you talking about, Spock?
SPOCK: This Doctor.
KIRK: Yes.
SPOCK: You wanted to know his name.
KIRK: Yes exactly so tell me his name.
SPOCK: Who.
KIRK: The doctor.
SPOCK: Doctor Who.
KIRK: The one from your story!
SPOCK: Sir that's his name.
KIRK: What's his name?
SPOCK: No who.
KIRK: What?
SPOCK: No, Who.
KIRK: Spock who is this Doctor.
SPOCK: Exactly.
KIRK: Spock when we see the show with this creature, who fights him?
SPOCK: Precisely.
KIRK: Precisely?
SPOCK: Precisely.
KIRK: So when we watch the show Precisely fight the Dalek.
SPOCK: No, who fights it.
KIRK: Precisely.
SPOCK: Precisely, yes say it that way
KIRK: That's what I said!
SPOCK: No you didn't.
KIRK: I said when your watching the show precisely fights the Dalek.
SPOCK: No it's who.
KIRK: Precisely!
SPOCK: Go ahead, say it that way.
KIRK: That's what I said!! I said when you watch the show-
SPOCK: ...who fights the Dalek.
KIRK: He'd better fight him!
DALEK: Exterminate.
KIRK: Somebody get that goofy crossover off of my bridge.
SCOTTY: Sir, they hate it when you do this. (Tears off eye stalk)
DALEK: I cannot see! Malfunction! Malfunction.
SCOTTY: They hate it when you do this. (Pulls some wires)
DALEK: (Spinning wildly) Emergency! Emergency!
SCOTTY: And they really hate it when you do this! (Grabs Dalek and pushes it off of the bridge while it continues its malfunction speech)
KIRK: Riggghhhtt.....
KAHN: Kirk, you will be destroyed.
KIRK: Stop interrupting I....
(On the screen on Kahn's ship we see Scotty come in the door with a mangled torn-up wrecked Dalek)
SCOTTY: Oh, and they hate it so much when you do this! (Twists the plunger)
DALEK: Malfunction! Malfunction! (Begins shooting wildly)
KAHN: Nooooooo!
(Kahn's controls are hit by the blasts and suddenly everything goes dark.)
SCOTTY: And they start to despise you when you do this! (Crack, slam) And it really gets to them when you do this!
KIRK: I've seen enough. Sulu take us out.
(We here triumphant music as the Enterprise speeds away...)
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