Random Loki drabbles from the meme that was making its way around LJ sometime back, set in the Last to Know universe.
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Alexandra-sempai - The Wedding Scene.
It was, in retrospect, something of a strange wedding. It might have been called 'solemn' if not for the quiet giggling from the gathered congregation and the palpable aura of smug satisfaction that could be felt from the participants.
Or at least, most of the participants.
Two among the people standing at the altar seemed unhappy to be in attendance. One, dressed in a rather rumpled white tuxedo, had a pained expression on his face that either spoke volumes about how he would rather be anywhere else, or about just how hard the death grip that the best man had on his elbow was. He also sneezed periodically when a stray flower petal floated by his face.
The other, in a matching black tuxedo, was slightly neater. However, the effect was somewhat spoiled by the fact that his tie had been stuffed in his mouth and that his hands were tied behind his back, with the bride's maid keeping a firm hand on his shoulder.
"Ahem," said the priest, pushing his glasses up a little, "Do you, Heimdall-sama... I mean, Heimdall, son of Odin, take Loki-sa... Loki Laufeyiarson, as your lawfully wedded... husband?"
"Mmph," said Heimdall emphatically. "MMPH."
He received an owlish blink in reply.
Verdandi neatly plucked the gag from Heimdall's mouth.
"VERDANDI, YO--" Heimdall started to bellow, before Verdandi shoved the tie back into place without blinking an eye. Loki raised a hand to his forehead and started to massage the bridge of his nose.
"He means yes," Verdandi assured Yamino, smiling happily.
"/MMPH/."
-
Meg - The Time With All The Cats (and Freya).
When Loki staggered into the house after a job that evening, the house meowed at him.
Loki blinked, stared, dropped Laevatein and rubbed his eyes, continued to stare, and then staggered back out of the house again.
"Loki~!" Freya called from behind the door, before opening it and pulling him inside. "You're home!"
"...I'm home," Loki echoed. "Um. Evening, Freya."
"I missed you, Loki," Freya said, smiling and tugging Loki over to the couch, although they had to relocate five cats before there was a space clear enough for them to sit on. Around them, cats inhabited about every empty space that Loki's living room had to offer, and some that it didn't.
"Thanks, Freya," Loki said. "Um," he started, as a himalayan long-haired jumped casually onto his lap and started to knead at his leg. "About... ow! I mean, about..."
For once, Freya seemed to be thinking along the same tracks as he was. "The cats?" she asked. "They're for the chariot!"
"... ...chariot," Loki said faintly.
Freya nodded. "Cats here are sort of small, so I thought I'd need more than two... I asked onii-sama to help me make it. But I'm not sure he will, because he was acting kind of strange after I said it was for us..."
"You asked Freyr," Loki said, even more faintly.
"Un," Freya said, picking up a Siamese and hugging it close. While it suffered that treatment, it also gave Loki an almost sentient look of irritation.
"...," went Loki, trying to remember where he had seen such a look before, and deciding to ignore Freya's attempt to recreate her Asgard furnishings, for the sake of his own sanity. "...wait a minute. Kou-chan?"
The Siamese's irritated look only intensified.
"Kou-chan?" Freya blinked.
"I mean, I think that's Kou-chan's cat," Loki said.
"Who's Kou-chan?" Freya asked. "Loki, have you been seeing other women again?"
"Um," Loki said. "Most definitely not. Kou-chan's..."
"You /have/, haven't you?" Freya said, standing up. The Siamese landed on the floor easily--or at least, it would have been easily, if there hadn't been a large tabby occupying the same space at the time, causing the situation to degenerate into minor chaos with a sharp yowl. "Loki, I thought you got over that already!"
"Freya, wait a minute, I--"
Freya stalked out of the door, a few cats trailing behind, meowing reproachfully. Kou-chan's cat, which was licking at a paw with ruffled dignity, stalked over to him. Loki sighed.
"I'm sorry about that," he apologised.
The cat cocked an ear, and then bit him on the ankle.
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Maiki - Loki and Heimdall Kiss (...Well, sort of.)
A hush had fallen over the theatre, which was usually a lively sort of place, especially during club time. Now, though, everybody had stopped dead to watch the stage, which currently featured... Loki and Higashiyama engaged in a deep liplock.
When they stopped, Loki took a step back, hacking.
"Pththt! Ack!" he said, sounding vaguely traumatised.
Heimdall might have taken offense, but what he was doing was no less insulting, considering that he seemed to be trying to scrape his taste buds off on his sleeve.
"I think you hit my /nose/," Loki said reproachfully, after finishing his impression of a cat trying to cough up a hairball.
"It's not my fault you don't know how to turn your head," Heimdall snarled.
Loki glared. "What's that supposed to mean? It's not /my/ fault you're a bad kisser."
"A bad kisser? I've kissed better /walls/, Laufeyiarson," Heimdall told him.
"Well, /that/ explains it," Loki said. "At least /I've/ never had to assault architecture, Higashiyama."
"You're asking for death, Loki."
"I'm asking for you to suck it up and admit the truth," Loki muttered.
On the floor, standing with the rest of the club, Mayura turned to Freyr.
"Act three, scene five didn't end like this, did it?" she asked.
"It's young love!" Freyr said happily.
-
The Time With All The Cats is almost completely canonical. Give or take a little extrapolation. Freya, in mythology, really does drive a chariot pulled by two cats. We don't question Freya, just like we don't question Freyr. I take no responsibility for The Wedding Scene whatsoever. 3
-
Alexandra-sempai - The Wedding Scene.
It was, in retrospect, something of a strange wedding. It might have been called 'solemn' if not for the quiet giggling from the gathered congregation and the palpable aura of smug satisfaction that could be felt from the participants.
Or at least, most of the participants.
Two among the people standing at the altar seemed unhappy to be in attendance. One, dressed in a rather rumpled white tuxedo, had a pained expression on his face that either spoke volumes about how he would rather be anywhere else, or about just how hard the death grip that the best man had on his elbow was. He also sneezed periodically when a stray flower petal floated by his face.
The other, in a matching black tuxedo, was slightly neater. However, the effect was somewhat spoiled by the fact that his tie had been stuffed in his mouth and that his hands were tied behind his back, with the bride's maid keeping a firm hand on his shoulder.
"Ahem," said the priest, pushing his glasses up a little, "Do you, Heimdall-sama... I mean, Heimdall, son of Odin, take Loki-sa... Loki Laufeyiarson, as your lawfully wedded... husband?"
"Mmph," said Heimdall emphatically. "MMPH."
He received an owlish blink in reply.
Verdandi neatly plucked the gag from Heimdall's mouth.
"VERDANDI, YO--" Heimdall started to bellow, before Verdandi shoved the tie back into place without blinking an eye. Loki raised a hand to his forehead and started to massage the bridge of his nose.
"He means yes," Verdandi assured Yamino, smiling happily.
"/MMPH/."
-
Meg - The Time With All The Cats (and Freya).
When Loki staggered into the house after a job that evening, the house meowed at him.
Loki blinked, stared, dropped Laevatein and rubbed his eyes, continued to stare, and then staggered back out of the house again.
"Loki~!" Freya called from behind the door, before opening it and pulling him inside. "You're home!"
"...I'm home," Loki echoed. "Um. Evening, Freya."
"I missed you, Loki," Freya said, smiling and tugging Loki over to the couch, although they had to relocate five cats before there was a space clear enough for them to sit on. Around them, cats inhabited about every empty space that Loki's living room had to offer, and some that it didn't.
"Thanks, Freya," Loki said. "Um," he started, as a himalayan long-haired jumped casually onto his lap and started to knead at his leg. "About... ow! I mean, about..."
For once, Freya seemed to be thinking along the same tracks as he was. "The cats?" she asked. "They're for the chariot!"
"... ...chariot," Loki said faintly.
Freya nodded. "Cats here are sort of small, so I thought I'd need more than two... I asked onii-sama to help me make it. But I'm not sure he will, because he was acting kind of strange after I said it was for us..."
"You asked Freyr," Loki said, even more faintly.
"Un," Freya said, picking up a Siamese and hugging it close. While it suffered that treatment, it also gave Loki an almost sentient look of irritation.
"...," went Loki, trying to remember where he had seen such a look before, and deciding to ignore Freya's attempt to recreate her Asgard furnishings, for the sake of his own sanity. "...wait a minute. Kou-chan?"
The Siamese's irritated look only intensified.
"Kou-chan?" Freya blinked.
"I mean, I think that's Kou-chan's cat," Loki said.
"Who's Kou-chan?" Freya asked. "Loki, have you been seeing other women again?"
"Um," Loki said. "Most definitely not. Kou-chan's..."
"You /have/, haven't you?" Freya said, standing up. The Siamese landed on the floor easily--or at least, it would have been easily, if there hadn't been a large tabby occupying the same space at the time, causing the situation to degenerate into minor chaos with a sharp yowl. "Loki, I thought you got over that already!"
"Freya, wait a minute, I--"
Freya stalked out of the door, a few cats trailing behind, meowing reproachfully. Kou-chan's cat, which was licking at a paw with ruffled dignity, stalked over to him. Loki sighed.
"I'm sorry about that," he apologised.
The cat cocked an ear, and then bit him on the ankle.
-
Maiki - Loki and Heimdall Kiss (...Well, sort of.)
A hush had fallen over the theatre, which was usually a lively sort of place, especially during club time. Now, though, everybody had stopped dead to watch the stage, which currently featured... Loki and Higashiyama engaged in a deep liplock.
When they stopped, Loki took a step back, hacking.
"Pththt! Ack!" he said, sounding vaguely traumatised.
Heimdall might have taken offense, but what he was doing was no less insulting, considering that he seemed to be trying to scrape his taste buds off on his sleeve.
"I think you hit my /nose/," Loki said reproachfully, after finishing his impression of a cat trying to cough up a hairball.
"It's not my fault you don't know how to turn your head," Heimdall snarled.
Loki glared. "What's that supposed to mean? It's not /my/ fault you're a bad kisser."
"A bad kisser? I've kissed better /walls/, Laufeyiarson," Heimdall told him.
"Well, /that/ explains it," Loki said. "At least /I've/ never had to assault architecture, Higashiyama."
"You're asking for death, Loki."
"I'm asking for you to suck it up and admit the truth," Loki muttered.
On the floor, standing with the rest of the club, Mayura turned to Freyr.
"Act three, scene five didn't end like this, did it?" she asked.
"It's young love!" Freyr said happily.
-
The Time With All The Cats is almost completely canonical. Give or take a little extrapolation. Freya, in mythology, really does drive a chariot pulled by two cats. We don't question Freya, just like we don't question Freyr. I take no responsibility for The Wedding Scene whatsoever. 3