A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this story. This the final chapter. I'm
sorry to say, there will be no sequel. I set this story up to fit in the
mid-season break, so if you want a sequel, pop Gone or Lullaby into the
vcr. I've truly enjoyed the feedback on this story, I've been blown away
by the reviews. You guys rock! I'm issuing a slight tissue warning for
this chapter. It made M, my beta, cry. Many, many thanks to her, as
always. She was an inspiration for a lot of the tissue-y moment. Enjoy,
and please let me know what you think.
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Buffy awoke slowly, stretching a little. She stretched into the male body sharing her bed. He was sleeping, she noticed, as she began to panic. How could she let herself do this again?
"Evening." Spike said, waking. He pulled her closer, and opened his eyes.
"Spike." Buffy spoke up, getting his attention.
"What, luv?" He replied.
"This can't ever happen again." She told him quietly, her voice determined. Spike looked at her, his eyes filled with pain.
"Why?" He wanted to know.
"You know why. Stating the obvious would be overkill." Buffy explained, without really explaining.
"Tell me the truth." He demaded, moving so that he pinned her to the bed.
"That is the truth." Buffy maintained. Spike shook his head.
"The truth is that you're running scared. You like the way I make you feel." Spike said. To emphasize his point, he shift slightly so that his pelvis rubbed hers. Buffy moaned against her will. "See? You're too scared to admit that you like me, and you like what I do to you." His eyes went from angry, to loving. "Your scared becuase I'm the only person in this world that can make you feel something. Even if it's revulsion, or disgust. You think that I can't possibly love you, and even if I did, anything we had would end with me leaving you in the dust. Just like all the others who left. I'm not the wandering type, pet. I loved Dru for over a hundred years." Buffy was crying by this point. Spike was never supposed to know she was the vulnerable one. "Am I right?" He asked in a whisper. She nodded. "Then let me love you." He replied, kissing her.
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Downstairs, Willow and Fred were chatting, while Cordy and Angel were debating over what outfit to dress Connor in. Gunn and Wesley were taking out weapons and cleaning them.
"He's a boy. He's not wearing that." Angel disagreed.
"Angel, were in the new millenium. Don't be old fashioned. He'll look so cute in this." Cordelia tried to convince him.
"No son of mine is wearing yellow." Angel replied. He tossed the bright yellow romper to Cordy.
"Fine, then don't blame me if your son's clothes are out of style." She huffed, folding the romper, and setting it down.
"Cordelia, He's just a baby." Wesley interjected, over hearing their conversation. She sighed, and handed Angel a blue one. Buffy and Spike finally joined the group in the midst of the romper arguement.
"What's the what?" Buffy asked, wanting to know what was going on. She leaned against the counter.
"Well, so far, Angel and Cordy have managed to decide what Connor should wear without any bloodshed." Wesley said, his tone dry.
"Speaking of Connor, can I hold him again?" Buffy asked.
"I never figured you for a baby person, Buffy." Cordy said, snapping the last button on Connor's romper and handing him to her.
"I'm not. Not really. I just figured that I'll never have my own. So I get my snuggles through someone else's baby. Here, it's Connor. When Dawn's old enough, if I'm still around, it'll be hers. But no babies for Buffy." She answered, sounding and looking sad. An uncomfortable silence spread through the room as they all realized the Slayer would die again. It might even be soon. Buffy's eyes welled up with unshed tears.
"Buffy?" Willow asked, concerned. Spike was worried also, and moved closer to her.
"I'm fine. Just a heavy dose of reality is all." She told them. Buffy would have said more, but at that moment Cordelia shrieked, and would have slumped to the floor if Angel hadn't managed to catch her. All though she didn't slip into unconsciousness, Cordy murmured something about a couple of teenagers before it turned into nonesense. "What just happened here?" Buffy questioned. She was ingnored as Angel scooped Cordy in his arms.
"Fred, go get a wet wash cloth. Gunn, Wes, help me get her to my room. Buffy, Willow, bring the baby." Angel directed. Spike stayed put as the others in the lobby scurried off to do Angel's bidding.
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Cordy opened her eyes slowly. The pain in her head was splitting. It hurt so bad she could hardly see.
"Hey." Angel said, his voice soft.
"Hey." Cordy replied. Her throat felt like she'd swallowed a porcupine. She refused to let on how bad she felt. Trying to get up, Cordy fumbled with the blankets.
"What are you doing?" He asked, sounding upset. Angel pushed her back onto the bed.
"Getting up. We've got work to do. A vision to work on." She protested.
"Your not going anywhere. Tell me what the vision was about. Then you're going to get some rest." Angel admonished her.
"But..." Cordy replied, her voice feeble sounding. He silenced her with a look. Reluctantly, she told him quickly about her vision. The two teenagers in an alley. A vampire attack from the way it looked. He smiled, and smoothed her hair back.
"Get some rest." He ordered, standing up. There was a knock at the door. Angel answered it.
"I just wanted to see how Cordy was doing." Buffy said. Angel let her in, excusing himself. He went downstairs, and rallied the group to work on the vision.
"How are you feeling?" Buffy asked, speaking directly to Cordy this time.
"I have a question. About something you said yesterday." Cordy replied.
"Shoot." Buffy answered, settling in the chair Angel had vacated.
"What you said....about dying. Were you telling the truth?" She wanted to know. Desparately needed to know.
"Yeah. It was very peaceful. I was happy, and there wasn't any pain." Buffy told her. They were silent for a moment, and then Buffy continued with a question of her own. "Why do you want to know?" Cordelia's eyes met Buffy's, and Buffy raised her hand to her mouth. "Oh God. You're dying." She exclaimed with certainty. Cordy nodded, her eyes tearing up. The pounding in her head worsened. "How?" Buffy whispered the question, afraid of hearing the answer.
"The visions." Cordy managed. The threatening tears overflowed. "I'm so scared Buffy. I don't wanna die. I'm not ready yet." Cordy cried. Buffy reached out, and took her hand.
"Do they know?" She asked. Cordy shook her head.
"They can't. They'll take the the visions. I'll lose my purpose. They wouldn't need me." Cordy said, being stubborn.
"You'd be alive." Buffy pointed out.
"Without my visions, there's no way for me to help. I want to help people. I got stuck in a never ending vision last year, and I really saw the suffering that people go through. I want to help them, Buffy. You'd do the same. You've done the same. At the cost of your life. This is my path. I've chosen to die." Cordy refuted Buffy's arguement. Buffy sighed, knowing that Cordy had her. She decided to comfort her instead.
"When I was sixteen, and Giles told me the Master was going to kill me, I didn't know what to do." Buffy began. "I was only sixteen years old. I didn't want to die. I was so scared. Then I thought, what about all those people who would die if I didn't help them. So I went. I died. I went to my death on purpose, with the noble idea that I was saving lives. I wouldn't change it, not even now. I get what your going through. If you need to talk, you can call me in Sunnydale at any time." She finished. Buffy got up to leave, after squeezing Cordy's hand.
"One more thing, Buffy." Cordy spoke up, stopping Buffy in the doorway. Buffy raised her eyebrows. "They can never know." Cordy finished. Buffy nodded, and shut the door behind her.
In the hall, she leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. Tears streamed down her face. She and Cordy may have never been especially close, but she was a friend. She wasn't sure she could stand to lose anymore friends. She cried becuase she this would be the last time she'd see Cordy alive again.
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Awhile later, the group was heading back in from saving the teenagers from Cordy's vision. Angel, Gunn and Wesley set to putting the weapons back in their places. Buffy and Willow chatted with Fred, comparing notes on the fight. Spike remained silent and skulky in the corner of the room.
"We're gonna head back to Sunnydale in a little bit, Angel. As soon as we get our things together. We'll be ready if you need us to help with your son." Buffy told him after the group had quieted down. He nodded, anxious to check on Cordelia.
"I'm glad you came." Angel told her. She smiled, her first real smile in a very long time.
"So am I." She replied, giving Spike a glance out of the corner of her eye.
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Later that night, Spike, Buffy and Willow were on the road back to Sunnydale. Willow was sleeping in the back, after convincing Buffy to take the front. Buffy sat next to Spike in silence as the miles rolled by. As soon as he was sure Willow was asleep, he spoke up.
"So what now, pet?" He asked her .
"Now, I'm thinking I need to get a job. And to take better care of Dawn. And to be a better friend to Willow." Buffy answered. And make plans to attend another funeral, she thought, picturing Cordelia's tear streaked face.
"And us?" Spike asked. Silence reigned throughout Spike's old, worn out DeSoto once more.
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Buffy awoke slowly, stretching a little. She stretched into the male body sharing her bed. He was sleeping, she noticed, as she began to panic. How could she let herself do this again?
"Evening." Spike said, waking. He pulled her closer, and opened his eyes.
"Spike." Buffy spoke up, getting his attention.
"What, luv?" He replied.
"This can't ever happen again." She told him quietly, her voice determined. Spike looked at her, his eyes filled with pain.
"Why?" He wanted to know.
"You know why. Stating the obvious would be overkill." Buffy explained, without really explaining.
"Tell me the truth." He demaded, moving so that he pinned her to the bed.
"That is the truth." Buffy maintained. Spike shook his head.
"The truth is that you're running scared. You like the way I make you feel." Spike said. To emphasize his point, he shift slightly so that his pelvis rubbed hers. Buffy moaned against her will. "See? You're too scared to admit that you like me, and you like what I do to you." His eyes went from angry, to loving. "Your scared becuase I'm the only person in this world that can make you feel something. Even if it's revulsion, or disgust. You think that I can't possibly love you, and even if I did, anything we had would end with me leaving you in the dust. Just like all the others who left. I'm not the wandering type, pet. I loved Dru for over a hundred years." Buffy was crying by this point. Spike was never supposed to know she was the vulnerable one. "Am I right?" He asked in a whisper. She nodded. "Then let me love you." He replied, kissing her.
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Downstairs, Willow and Fred were chatting, while Cordy and Angel were debating over what outfit to dress Connor in. Gunn and Wesley were taking out weapons and cleaning them.
"He's a boy. He's not wearing that." Angel disagreed.
"Angel, were in the new millenium. Don't be old fashioned. He'll look so cute in this." Cordelia tried to convince him.
"No son of mine is wearing yellow." Angel replied. He tossed the bright yellow romper to Cordy.
"Fine, then don't blame me if your son's clothes are out of style." She huffed, folding the romper, and setting it down.
"Cordelia, He's just a baby." Wesley interjected, over hearing their conversation. She sighed, and handed Angel a blue one. Buffy and Spike finally joined the group in the midst of the romper arguement.
"What's the what?" Buffy asked, wanting to know what was going on. She leaned against the counter.
"Well, so far, Angel and Cordy have managed to decide what Connor should wear without any bloodshed." Wesley said, his tone dry.
"Speaking of Connor, can I hold him again?" Buffy asked.
"I never figured you for a baby person, Buffy." Cordy said, snapping the last button on Connor's romper and handing him to her.
"I'm not. Not really. I just figured that I'll never have my own. So I get my snuggles through someone else's baby. Here, it's Connor. When Dawn's old enough, if I'm still around, it'll be hers. But no babies for Buffy." She answered, sounding and looking sad. An uncomfortable silence spread through the room as they all realized the Slayer would die again. It might even be soon. Buffy's eyes welled up with unshed tears.
"Buffy?" Willow asked, concerned. Spike was worried also, and moved closer to her.
"I'm fine. Just a heavy dose of reality is all." She told them. Buffy would have said more, but at that moment Cordelia shrieked, and would have slumped to the floor if Angel hadn't managed to catch her. All though she didn't slip into unconsciousness, Cordy murmured something about a couple of teenagers before it turned into nonesense. "What just happened here?" Buffy questioned. She was ingnored as Angel scooped Cordy in his arms.
"Fred, go get a wet wash cloth. Gunn, Wes, help me get her to my room. Buffy, Willow, bring the baby." Angel directed. Spike stayed put as the others in the lobby scurried off to do Angel's bidding.
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Cordy opened her eyes slowly. The pain in her head was splitting. It hurt so bad she could hardly see.
"Hey." Angel said, his voice soft.
"Hey." Cordy replied. Her throat felt like she'd swallowed a porcupine. She refused to let on how bad she felt. Trying to get up, Cordy fumbled with the blankets.
"What are you doing?" He asked, sounding upset. Angel pushed her back onto the bed.
"Getting up. We've got work to do. A vision to work on." She protested.
"Your not going anywhere. Tell me what the vision was about. Then you're going to get some rest." Angel admonished her.
"But..." Cordy replied, her voice feeble sounding. He silenced her with a look. Reluctantly, she told him quickly about her vision. The two teenagers in an alley. A vampire attack from the way it looked. He smiled, and smoothed her hair back.
"Get some rest." He ordered, standing up. There was a knock at the door. Angel answered it.
"I just wanted to see how Cordy was doing." Buffy said. Angel let her in, excusing himself. He went downstairs, and rallied the group to work on the vision.
"How are you feeling?" Buffy asked, speaking directly to Cordy this time.
"I have a question. About something you said yesterday." Cordy replied.
"Shoot." Buffy answered, settling in the chair Angel had vacated.
"What you said....about dying. Were you telling the truth?" She wanted to know. Desparately needed to know.
"Yeah. It was very peaceful. I was happy, and there wasn't any pain." Buffy told her. They were silent for a moment, and then Buffy continued with a question of her own. "Why do you want to know?" Cordelia's eyes met Buffy's, and Buffy raised her hand to her mouth. "Oh God. You're dying." She exclaimed with certainty. Cordy nodded, her eyes tearing up. The pounding in her head worsened. "How?" Buffy whispered the question, afraid of hearing the answer.
"The visions." Cordy managed. The threatening tears overflowed. "I'm so scared Buffy. I don't wanna die. I'm not ready yet." Cordy cried. Buffy reached out, and took her hand.
"Do they know?" She asked. Cordy shook her head.
"They can't. They'll take the the visions. I'll lose my purpose. They wouldn't need me." Cordy said, being stubborn.
"You'd be alive." Buffy pointed out.
"Without my visions, there's no way for me to help. I want to help people. I got stuck in a never ending vision last year, and I really saw the suffering that people go through. I want to help them, Buffy. You'd do the same. You've done the same. At the cost of your life. This is my path. I've chosen to die." Cordy refuted Buffy's arguement. Buffy sighed, knowing that Cordy had her. She decided to comfort her instead.
"When I was sixteen, and Giles told me the Master was going to kill me, I didn't know what to do." Buffy began. "I was only sixteen years old. I didn't want to die. I was so scared. Then I thought, what about all those people who would die if I didn't help them. So I went. I died. I went to my death on purpose, with the noble idea that I was saving lives. I wouldn't change it, not even now. I get what your going through. If you need to talk, you can call me in Sunnydale at any time." She finished. Buffy got up to leave, after squeezing Cordy's hand.
"One more thing, Buffy." Cordy spoke up, stopping Buffy in the doorway. Buffy raised her eyebrows. "They can never know." Cordy finished. Buffy nodded, and shut the door behind her.
In the hall, she leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. Tears streamed down her face. She and Cordy may have never been especially close, but she was a friend. She wasn't sure she could stand to lose anymore friends. She cried becuase she this would be the last time she'd see Cordy alive again.
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Awhile later, the group was heading back in from saving the teenagers from Cordy's vision. Angel, Gunn and Wesley set to putting the weapons back in their places. Buffy and Willow chatted with Fred, comparing notes on the fight. Spike remained silent and skulky in the corner of the room.
"We're gonna head back to Sunnydale in a little bit, Angel. As soon as we get our things together. We'll be ready if you need us to help with your son." Buffy told him after the group had quieted down. He nodded, anxious to check on Cordelia.
"I'm glad you came." Angel told her. She smiled, her first real smile in a very long time.
"So am I." She replied, giving Spike a glance out of the corner of her eye.
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Later that night, Spike, Buffy and Willow were on the road back to Sunnydale. Willow was sleeping in the back, after convincing Buffy to take the front. Buffy sat next to Spike in silence as the miles rolled by. As soon as he was sure Willow was asleep, he spoke up.
"So what now, pet?" He asked her .
"Now, I'm thinking I need to get a job. And to take better care of Dawn. And to be a better friend to Willow." Buffy answered. And make plans to attend another funeral, she thought, picturing Cordelia's tear streaked face.
"And us?" Spike asked. Silence reigned throughout Spike's old, worn out DeSoto once more.