If I had only told him when I had the chance. If I only could have
swallowed my pride and came right out with it, I would have been with him.
I would have loved with him. But I drove him away . . . I didn't say
anything to him, but maybe that's what did it.
^*^*^*^ Okay . . . like I've said before . . . KURAMAxHIEI! If you don't like it don't read it!! ^*^*^*^ I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. ^*^*^*^
"Hiei . . . hold me . . ." I plead to him
"Why don't you get it fox? I don't want to be with you! Get your idiotic mind to realize that you stupid fox!" he shouted at me as he walked away and left me in the dark all alone
"Hiei . . . Hiei I love you!" I cried out to him feeling tears role down my cheeks, knowing he couldn't hear me
The pain that filled my heart could not be put to words . . . it is such a confusing thing when your heart clearly knows something your mind cannot seem to understand. Maybe if I did understand, I'd know how to get Hiei back. I loved him so much . . . how could someone I had feelings so deeply for seem to want nothing to do with me? I loved him and he didn't care in the slightest bit.
*****
It all started a while back . . . back when Hiei and I were simply fighting partners and nothing more, like I wanted us to be, and nothing less, like we are now.
*****
"Hiei if you fight so recklessly like that we'll never be able to defeat anyone!" I yelled to him, correcting the minor flaws in his fighting which I made out to be important, which they weren't.
"Shut up Kurama, it's not as though you have the right to correct me! Last time I checked I was the one who was stronger than you!" Hiei yelled to me as he sheathed his sword and walked over to give me one of his trademark death glares.
Picking on Hiei was one of my favorite pass times, for reasons I didn't yet know about. Maybe because he was so strong and wasn't modest about it.
"Well Hiei I have to go to school now, we'll continue training later." I said to him as I changed quickly into my school uniform.
I didn't mind id he watched me dress and undress. Hiei was never the kind to seem as though he was attracted to men, or anyone for that matter. So I removed my sweaty training clothes and replaced them with my freshly washed and ironed uniform, all the while only a few feet away from Hiei who was fiddling with his belt for one reason or another.
"Fine. We'll finish training tonight, got it fox?" Hiei either told or asked me, I couldn't really tell whether it was a command or a question, which ever though my answer was the same.
"Alright Hiei. I'll see you then." I told him as I began my walk through the beautiful forest that was Hiei's training area and mine. Of course I had chosen the spot. Had Hiei been given the chance to choose our ground of practice I would find myself trying hard to keep my balance on some 100ft high cliff, complete with jagged rocks awaiting whomever happened to fall from it's peek, every morning after breakfast.
No thank you.
I used to wonder about why Hiei was like the way he is, ruthless, cold hearted, and all out mean a lot of the time. But after trying to pry into his life countless numbers of times through out the years that I'd 'known' him, I'd finally decided, after getting absolutely nowhere, to just give up and take Hiei as Hiei was, a cold, uncaring, lonely little bastard. And I just left it at that. I never thought anymore of Hiei.
I arrived at my school about 10minutes early like I always did. I walked through the long hall of my awaiting classmates, which seemed as though it would never end. I glanced at only a few of them for a brief moment, but then returned my glare to its usual targets, the floor, the ceiling, and the walls. It wasn't that I was shy; it was just that human teenagers to tell the absolute truth disgusted me a bit. They seemed to care about only the way they looked, they way others around them looked, and what the last person they slept with looked like. Appearance never meant much to me although many think it does most likely because of my fine hair, clear completion, and fair build. I could feel a lot of the teenagers eyeing me as I walked with a hurried pace into the room of my first class.
I was now trapped. There were fewer of them here but nonetheless I could just smell the out of control hormones coming from my classmates that surrounded me. I wanted desperately to just run away, like I did every school day, I'd much rather be with Hiei training, which must mean that being here was pretty god damn awful.
I forced myself through my classes for the day the whole time not talking, nor looking at anyone, at least not long enough for them to see or hear me.
At the sound of day ending bell I began my walk home.
This walk I enjoyed more than anything in this world. The sun wasn't as harsh as it was when I walked to get to school, and maybe I just liked it because of the fact that I was indeed leaving that dreadful gathering of germs and suggestive looks.
When I was about home I then remembered that Hiei and I were to train tonight. I then shifted from walking to running so that I could get home to make up an excuse for leaving.
I quickly opened the front door and then slammed it behind me. The loud noise made me wince and I knew that my mother would at any moment yell at me and then greet me.
"Shuichi how many times do I have to tell you not to slam that door!?" Shiori yelled at me as he then walked out from where even she had been and kissed my cheek. "Welcome home honey." And then her greeting "Did you have a good day at school?" She asked me with a smile on her face
"As always mother" I lied in order to hide how I really felt about my day "But I'm afraid I'll have to be leaving shortly, now as a matter of fact." I said her quickly glancing up at the clock
"Oh again?" She asked me sadly
"I'm afraid so mother . . ." I said giving her an innocent smile
"Honey, now you promise me you're not in a relationship?" She asked me raising an eyebrow
"I've told you before mother, I'm not seeing anyone." I said to her with a slight chuckle
"You'd tell me if you were wouldn't you Shuichi?" She asked with a concerned voice
"Oh course I would mother . . . well I best be on my way, Hiei is expecting me" I said as I turned for the door and then stopped in my tracks.
Mother had no knowledge of Hiei, Yusuke, or anything else of the sort. I had to come up with something fast. But I simply couldn't.
"Shuichi since when do you go on your soul searching walks accompanied by a woman?" She asked harshly "You are in a relationship aren't you!?"
"Mother, first off Hiei is a guy-" I started but then stopped after seeing the look on my mother's face "Oh no mother I didn't mean-" I started to explain but couldn't find the words to continue
"Shuichi . . . is this Hiei your- . . . is he your boyfriend?" She asked franticly
I felt myself blush a little and I almost burst out in laughter. Just the thought of Hiei with me or let alone ANYONE was a rather farfetched. I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.
"You can tell me if he is dear . . . I wont put you down of ever speak of it again I promise."
I thought for a moment, this may be my only way out. If I just told mother that I was in a relationship I would always have an excuse. But why did the only perfect time to get an excuse have to involve that little fire demon! Never the less I answered, "Well mother . . . I just didn't think you'd under stand." I lied
I know I started to blush, but why? I've lied before . . . but I've never blushed. Maybe just the thought of bringing Hiei home to meet my mother, getting married to him, growing old and watching game shows with my sweet darling Hiei, wait . . . wasn't I thinking a little crazy.
"So . . . so you and this 'Hiei' guy . . . you haven't- well" She stammered trying to think of a nice, polite way to ask 'Shuichi, honey, did you and this Hiei sleep together or have any other kind of sexual relations?'
"No, no don't worry mother. I don't do things like that." Again that was also somewhat of a lie. Being a fox demon as I had been I had had more than a far share of sexual relations through out my existence.
"You don't but what about Hiei! What if he tries to get you to do something you don't want to? Say, how much older is this Hiei anyhow?" She asked me nervously
I thought for a moment . . . was Hiei even older than me? For some reason I always thought he was a couple hundred years older, but if I told mother that she'd just stare at me strangely. So I answered, "He's a couple years older"
"Well then just promise me you'll be careful, and bring this Hiei over for dinner sometime. I want to meet him." She said to me still sounding a little nervous
Here's the meeting, next the wedding, and then the game shows.
"Alright mother I'll ask him what would be a good time." I said to her getting a little nervous myself. How was I going to tell Hiei about this?! "Well goodbye mother!" I said as I ran out to the door
"Goodbye Shuichi!"
I ran as fast as I could until I finally reached our place of training to find Hiei looking at something. I walked over to try and look to see what it was but he saw me coming and quickly stuffed, what I had identified as some piece of paper, into his pocket.
"What took you so long?" He asked me in his usual rough tone
"My mother . . . it's getting harder to make up excuses." I said to him feeling myself blush again for that unknown reason
"Well then get something that will stick." He grunted
"I kinda did that already Hiei. I'm very sorry I-" I started to explain feeling myself blush some more. I know Hiei saw it, and I saw that he knew why, but how come he got to know and I didn't!?
"What the hell did you tell her?!"
*&*&*&*&*&*
Yugijouoh: Okay I know the first part was rather confusing X.X but it'll make sense soon, maybe, I dunno. This is just one of those things that you write in the middle of the night and can't explain until your half asleep. I'll try and update it soon, I hate leaving things undone ANYHEW please review!!!! ^^-
^*^*^*^ Okay . . . like I've said before . . . KURAMAxHIEI! If you don't like it don't read it!! ^*^*^*^ I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. ^*^*^*^
"Hiei . . . hold me . . ." I plead to him
"Why don't you get it fox? I don't want to be with you! Get your idiotic mind to realize that you stupid fox!" he shouted at me as he walked away and left me in the dark all alone
"Hiei . . . Hiei I love you!" I cried out to him feeling tears role down my cheeks, knowing he couldn't hear me
The pain that filled my heart could not be put to words . . . it is such a confusing thing when your heart clearly knows something your mind cannot seem to understand. Maybe if I did understand, I'd know how to get Hiei back. I loved him so much . . . how could someone I had feelings so deeply for seem to want nothing to do with me? I loved him and he didn't care in the slightest bit.
*****
It all started a while back . . . back when Hiei and I were simply fighting partners and nothing more, like I wanted us to be, and nothing less, like we are now.
*****
"Hiei if you fight so recklessly like that we'll never be able to defeat anyone!" I yelled to him, correcting the minor flaws in his fighting which I made out to be important, which they weren't.
"Shut up Kurama, it's not as though you have the right to correct me! Last time I checked I was the one who was stronger than you!" Hiei yelled to me as he sheathed his sword and walked over to give me one of his trademark death glares.
Picking on Hiei was one of my favorite pass times, for reasons I didn't yet know about. Maybe because he was so strong and wasn't modest about it.
"Well Hiei I have to go to school now, we'll continue training later." I said to him as I changed quickly into my school uniform.
I didn't mind id he watched me dress and undress. Hiei was never the kind to seem as though he was attracted to men, or anyone for that matter. So I removed my sweaty training clothes and replaced them with my freshly washed and ironed uniform, all the while only a few feet away from Hiei who was fiddling with his belt for one reason or another.
"Fine. We'll finish training tonight, got it fox?" Hiei either told or asked me, I couldn't really tell whether it was a command or a question, which ever though my answer was the same.
"Alright Hiei. I'll see you then." I told him as I began my walk through the beautiful forest that was Hiei's training area and mine. Of course I had chosen the spot. Had Hiei been given the chance to choose our ground of practice I would find myself trying hard to keep my balance on some 100ft high cliff, complete with jagged rocks awaiting whomever happened to fall from it's peek, every morning after breakfast.
No thank you.
I used to wonder about why Hiei was like the way he is, ruthless, cold hearted, and all out mean a lot of the time. But after trying to pry into his life countless numbers of times through out the years that I'd 'known' him, I'd finally decided, after getting absolutely nowhere, to just give up and take Hiei as Hiei was, a cold, uncaring, lonely little bastard. And I just left it at that. I never thought anymore of Hiei.
I arrived at my school about 10minutes early like I always did. I walked through the long hall of my awaiting classmates, which seemed as though it would never end. I glanced at only a few of them for a brief moment, but then returned my glare to its usual targets, the floor, the ceiling, and the walls. It wasn't that I was shy; it was just that human teenagers to tell the absolute truth disgusted me a bit. They seemed to care about only the way they looked, they way others around them looked, and what the last person they slept with looked like. Appearance never meant much to me although many think it does most likely because of my fine hair, clear completion, and fair build. I could feel a lot of the teenagers eyeing me as I walked with a hurried pace into the room of my first class.
I was now trapped. There were fewer of them here but nonetheless I could just smell the out of control hormones coming from my classmates that surrounded me. I wanted desperately to just run away, like I did every school day, I'd much rather be with Hiei training, which must mean that being here was pretty god damn awful.
I forced myself through my classes for the day the whole time not talking, nor looking at anyone, at least not long enough for them to see or hear me.
At the sound of day ending bell I began my walk home.
This walk I enjoyed more than anything in this world. The sun wasn't as harsh as it was when I walked to get to school, and maybe I just liked it because of the fact that I was indeed leaving that dreadful gathering of germs and suggestive looks.
When I was about home I then remembered that Hiei and I were to train tonight. I then shifted from walking to running so that I could get home to make up an excuse for leaving.
I quickly opened the front door and then slammed it behind me. The loud noise made me wince and I knew that my mother would at any moment yell at me and then greet me.
"Shuichi how many times do I have to tell you not to slam that door!?" Shiori yelled at me as he then walked out from where even she had been and kissed my cheek. "Welcome home honey." And then her greeting "Did you have a good day at school?" She asked me with a smile on her face
"As always mother" I lied in order to hide how I really felt about my day "But I'm afraid I'll have to be leaving shortly, now as a matter of fact." I said her quickly glancing up at the clock
"Oh again?" She asked me sadly
"I'm afraid so mother . . ." I said giving her an innocent smile
"Honey, now you promise me you're not in a relationship?" She asked me raising an eyebrow
"I've told you before mother, I'm not seeing anyone." I said to her with a slight chuckle
"You'd tell me if you were wouldn't you Shuichi?" She asked with a concerned voice
"Oh course I would mother . . . well I best be on my way, Hiei is expecting me" I said as I turned for the door and then stopped in my tracks.
Mother had no knowledge of Hiei, Yusuke, or anything else of the sort. I had to come up with something fast. But I simply couldn't.
"Shuichi since when do you go on your soul searching walks accompanied by a woman?" She asked harshly "You are in a relationship aren't you!?"
"Mother, first off Hiei is a guy-" I started but then stopped after seeing the look on my mother's face "Oh no mother I didn't mean-" I started to explain but couldn't find the words to continue
"Shuichi . . . is this Hiei your- . . . is he your boyfriend?" She asked franticly
I felt myself blush a little and I almost burst out in laughter. Just the thought of Hiei with me or let alone ANYONE was a rather farfetched. I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.
"You can tell me if he is dear . . . I wont put you down of ever speak of it again I promise."
I thought for a moment, this may be my only way out. If I just told mother that I was in a relationship I would always have an excuse. But why did the only perfect time to get an excuse have to involve that little fire demon! Never the less I answered, "Well mother . . . I just didn't think you'd under stand." I lied
I know I started to blush, but why? I've lied before . . . but I've never blushed. Maybe just the thought of bringing Hiei home to meet my mother, getting married to him, growing old and watching game shows with my sweet darling Hiei, wait . . . wasn't I thinking a little crazy.
"So . . . so you and this 'Hiei' guy . . . you haven't- well" She stammered trying to think of a nice, polite way to ask 'Shuichi, honey, did you and this Hiei sleep together or have any other kind of sexual relations?'
"No, no don't worry mother. I don't do things like that." Again that was also somewhat of a lie. Being a fox demon as I had been I had had more than a far share of sexual relations through out my existence.
"You don't but what about Hiei! What if he tries to get you to do something you don't want to? Say, how much older is this Hiei anyhow?" She asked me nervously
I thought for a moment . . . was Hiei even older than me? For some reason I always thought he was a couple hundred years older, but if I told mother that she'd just stare at me strangely. So I answered, "He's a couple years older"
"Well then just promise me you'll be careful, and bring this Hiei over for dinner sometime. I want to meet him." She said to me still sounding a little nervous
Here's the meeting, next the wedding, and then the game shows.
"Alright mother I'll ask him what would be a good time." I said to her getting a little nervous myself. How was I going to tell Hiei about this?! "Well goodbye mother!" I said as I ran out to the door
"Goodbye Shuichi!"
I ran as fast as I could until I finally reached our place of training to find Hiei looking at something. I walked over to try and look to see what it was but he saw me coming and quickly stuffed, what I had identified as some piece of paper, into his pocket.
"What took you so long?" He asked me in his usual rough tone
"My mother . . . it's getting harder to make up excuses." I said to him feeling myself blush again for that unknown reason
"Well then get something that will stick." He grunted
"I kinda did that already Hiei. I'm very sorry I-" I started to explain feeling myself blush some more. I know Hiei saw it, and I saw that he knew why, but how come he got to know and I didn't!?
"What the hell did you tell her?!"
*&*&*&*&*&*
Yugijouoh: Okay I know the first part was rather confusing X.X but it'll make sense soon, maybe, I dunno. This is just one of those things that you write in the middle of the night and can't explain until your half asleep. I'll try and update it soon, I hate leaving things undone ANYHEW please review!!!! ^^-