Shelby Rolls into Town
Open Scene: Chris in his black and white room.
Chris:
You know, cars and women, they're a lot alike. They've got good curves, some have big round headlights, and others are just boxy pieces of European junk. Then there are girls like Shelby. Shelby was the step daughter of Dad's third wife, she's Dave's age, and we only got to see her every other weekend.
Cut to Garage: Chris is 18, Dave and Shelby are 16. Shelby's step-mom and Ken are moaning in the background. Chris and Shelby are tinkering on Chris' car.
Shelby:
Chris... Chris? Chris! I need that light! *Shelby is bent over the front fender of his car, her butt nicely packed into her acid washed, faded blue jeans. There are many, many holes in the knees, legs and butt of her pants, which is why she wears a pair of black spandex underneath. She also has a black tank top on. Her long black hair is pulled into a braid.* For the love of God! Stop starring at my ass!
Dave:
I wasn't! *He falls off his stool, he was starring, as was Chris*
*Shelby stands up from the car and glares at them both, grease on her high cheek boned face, she has green eyes and very pale skin.*
Back to the Black and White Room
Chris with a dreamy look on his face:
She was like Grease Monkey Barbie. *looks into the camera* And anatomically correct too..
Back to the Garage: No Dave, just Shelby and Chris, two pairs of torn jeans laying on the fender of the car, a tank top hanging from the radiator. The camera moves over the engine, showing Chris and Shelby going at it.
Ken:
Chris!
Third Wife:
Shelby! We're leaving!
Ken:
I'm getting a divorce from this harpy... Oh, hey baby... Let's go for one last good bye.
Third:
Oh Ken... *laughs*
*Chris and Shelby don't miss a beat*
Back to the Black and White Room: Chris is sitting in the chair and smirks.
Chris:
And trust me, I know. *winks*
Roll the Credits
Titus' Living Room: Chris is sitting, talking to Tommy and Dave when there is a roar of an engine and then a knock on the door. Chris goes to answer the door, Shelby jumps on him, wrapping her arms and legs around Chris.
Shelby:
Chris, you sexy blonde bastard, you haven't changed since high school!
Chris:
Shelby! Hey... Hey... Okay, you can let go now. *Chris pushes her down and she stands, then looks at Dave and smirks.
Shelby:
Dave! You're as scrawny as you were back then! *she gives Dave a hug, not as exuberant as Chris's hug.*
Dave:
And you're still mighty fine. *He tries to grab her ass in the hug but she catches his hand*
Shelby:
Dave, has that ever worked?
Dave:
Not yet, but can I have another try?
Tommy:
*to Chris* Who is this girl who just jumped you? And does Erin know about her?
To Black and White Room: Chris standing and pacing.
Chris:
Does Erin know about her? Does Erin know about her!? Of course Erin doesn't know about her! She has no clue that my first time just burst through my door, jumped me and grabbed my ass. And I don't really plan to tell her. *he looks at the camera* What she doesn't know... won't hurt me.
Back to the Living Room
Shelby:
*puts an arm around Chris's shoulder* Aaron? Who's Aaron?
Chris:
*moving away from Shelby* She's my girlfriend.
Shelby:
*Shrugs and looks at Dave* Hey, you, did you ever learn anything from the time in the garage? Other than starring at my ass?
Dave:
Oh yeah.
Shelby:
Let's go. Show me.
*Shelby and Dave leave*
Black and White Room
Chris:
I -never- saw that coming.
Flash Back to the Garage: Chris at age 18, Dave and Shelby at 16.
Dave:
So Shelby...
Shelby:
*sitting behind the wheel, installing a new stereo* No, I will not show you my bra.
Dave:
Well in that case can I...
Shelby:
*not even looking up* No, you can't touch my butt. Stop asking.
Dave:
*inhales to say something*
Shelby:
No.
Back to Black and White Room:
Chris:
And that was one of the good times...
The Backyard: Shelby is sitting in a bikini, trying to get a tan. Dave comes into the scene, takes a picture.
Shelby:
Dave! *she gets up, chases him*
Cut to a Hospital: Dave having an ice pack on his head, a black eye and a sprained wrist.
Chris:
Dave, you really had this coming.
Ken:
But did you keep the camera?
Chris:
Dad! She's 16!
Ken:
She's a fox, like her mother.
Back to the Black and White Room:
Chris:
*looking directly in the camera, he stops, shakes his head* Dad still has her picture in his wallet. But don't tell Shelby that, she's stronger now...
Go to Chris's Living Room: Tommy, Dave and Chris are sitting with Shelby, drinking, when Ken comes in.
Tommy:
Oh... *nervously as always* Hello Mister Titus...
Ken:
Why is that one talking to... Shelby!
Shelby:
Hello Ken.
Ken:
Why don't you just call me Daddy.
Shelby:
Only in your wildest dreams.
Dave:
*laughing* Every night.
Chris:
Dave, shut up.
Shelby:
*looking a little grossed out* Please.
Ken:
*sitting next to Shelby* So, how's your mother?
Shelby:
In prison, remember?
Back to the Black and White Room:
Chris:
When I was 18 Mommy Number 3 decided it would be fun to take a pair of scissors to the drapes, her hair, the sheets, most of the furniture, and oh yeah, Dad's genitals.
Flash back to the Titus' yard: Chris, Dave and Shelby are outside in their pjs, the boys in their boxers, Shelby in a pair of boxers and a tank top. Shelby's step mom is being hauled away in a police cruiser and Ken is hitting on the medic tending to his wounds.
Black and White Room:
Chris:
And thus we meet Mommy Number Four!
The down side to the whole thing is after that day, Dave and I haven't seen Shelby. That's 13 years. A long time, and damn did she do fine for her self. But don't tell Erin I said that. She'll hurt me.
...
And -really- don't tell Shelby I said that, she'll really hurt me.
And while your at it, don't tell Dave, Tommy or my Dad, will you? Thanks. *Titus pulls the light chord*