Disclaimer: All characters belong to Tamora Pierce
She is cold and pale now, my baby sister. She is still beautiful and perfect and regal, but she's dead now, a body on an altar.
I would have done anything to keep her alive. I would have given up anything, transferred my strength to her, whatever I had to I would have done. Anything to prevent having to sit here with her, gone before her time.
Lianne was always my responsibility. Fragile from the beginning, I appointed myself her knight in shining armor, ready to protect her from whatever bumps and bruises Fief Naxen had to offer. My mother was enchanted by my chivalry, the only 5 year old she'd ever seen who was willing and eager to watch over a baby, especially a girl baby. I didn't care if it was unusual, or, as my father told me, unmanly, it was just my mission in life to make sure no harm came to her.
Eventually, I had to go off to the castle for training, and I left my sister at home, trusting that no harm would befall her until I could see her again. I only saw her for days stolen for visits home, and every time I found her to have grown up into a more beautiful, more perfect being. I couldn't have been more proud if she were my daughter rather than my sister. I dreamt of the day that she would come to Court and I would introduce her to the knights there, Lady Lianne of Naxen, and watch them all fall over in awe.
I saw her in the Ordeal. At the end, when I was already a shaking mess on the floor, I saw Lianne trapped behind orange walls of fire, her skin distorted as I stared at her. I bit my lip so I wouldn't scream and crawled towards her, trying to figure out how I could get her out, how I could release her from her prison. Finally, I reached out my hand and immediately felt the flames lick over my hand. I squeezed my eyes shut, determined to stay silent, to take this pain if it would save her.
Then I heard the deep voice in my head. "Her or you, Gareth. It takes her or it takes you."
It wasn't even a choice, as I gave myself up to the fire. I could feel it tearing through skin, muscle, bone, and then there was this horrible tearing sound and the pain made my stomach drop. I curled up on the cold floor, determined to bear this if it would keep Lianne safe.
And then, there was light as the door opened, and I stumbled to my feet and out of the Chamber. I saw Lianne, free of the orange walls, and as she ran to me, I all but collapsed in her arms. She held me, her arms tight around my body, and for a blissful moment all was perfect, until Lianne shrieked and pulled away from me. I blinked in confusion and then saw the problem. Her dress, formerly a pale gray, was now stained with red. It didn't connect at first. All I could process was that it wasn't orange, that she would be safe as long as it wasn't orange.
Lianne stared at me, her eyes wide. Finally, she gasped "Oh, Gareth," and pulled me back into her arms. It took the palace healers finally separating us for me to find out what had upset Lianne so, what had ruined her dress. The Ordeal had taken a finger, the wound still open and bleeding onto her. But she was protected, I had taken the orange fire away from her, and that was all that mattered. I gladly sacrificed myself to protect her.
I started my duties as an active knight then, working closely with Prince Roald. We had been friends through our training, and the moment he met my sister, he was in love. He was the prince of Tortall, and thus could have came and demanded Lianne, and as loyal subjects we would have to obey, but that's not what he did. He took his time, slowly courting my sister, telling me how much he adored her, convincing us both that he would be the best match. All I could focus on was that as a member of the royal family, Lianne would be under the best protection. If the orange fire ever came back, she would be safe.
But she wasn't. She became Queen and lived in the castle under
the best protection imaginable, and I became the King's Champion and vowed
to make sure she was safe always and it didn't change a thing. The
orange fire consumed her, found her with the Sweating Sickness and never
let her go, and now she is gone, my baby sister. I sacrificed myself
to save her and it didn't mean a damn thing.